You’re Awful, I Love You {Gerard Way x Zombie!Reader Oneshot}
Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 3184 Based on: This imagine. Summary: Before you, a zombie, meet with Gerard's extended family, you start to feel something in your throat. Warnings: Sappiness, and really bad puns.
"To be able to fly, to be smoke, or a wolf? To know the night and live in it forever? That’s not so bad. You call us ‘monsters', but when you dream, you dream of flying, and changing, and living without death." — Nightbreed (1990) dir. Clive Barker
You had this odd feeling inside of you, like something was ... moving. Your fingers played at your throat as you laid down with your head upon Gerard’s, your very understanding boyfriend, lap. His fingers were absent-mindlessly going through your hair, while his other hand was holding up a comic book, reading through the panels. You tapped at the hollow of your throat, feeling it there. A fluttering of some kind. You thought you might have accidentally swallowed a bug while you were on your morning jog - and apparently, the inner body of a zombie is the perfect place for it to thrive. It was flying like Peter Pan in there, never stopping.
“Gerard?” You spoke, making him hum in response. “How long do flies usually live?”
“Like ... houseflies?” he asked, setting down the book for a second to think. “I think like - a month?”
“Hmm - okay,” You sighed. You were hoping it was more like a day or two. He looked down at you with his head tilted, his hazel eyes checking over yours. You could feel the question building up on his tongue, so you answered it before it came out. “I think I might have swallowed one? I can feel it inside of my throat. It’s buzzing around. I’m surprised you can’t hear it, it’s so loud to me.”
“Where?” he asked, his fingers starting to prod around where you had been holding yours. You guided him right to the spot where you could feel it, and his eyes widened. “Whoa. That feels weird.”
“You’re telling me,” you said. “Maybe it’ll just get washed away at dinner.”
“Right, dinner,” he said, his eyes going to his clock, a Salvador Dali-esque melting one that hung over a shelf. “We should get ready for that. I lost track of time.”
You started to giggle as an intrusive thought budged its way into your mind. “Guess you could say that time flies?” You joked, biting down on your lip. He looked at you for a moment and then groaned.
“That one was horrible, baby,” he said, lifting your head softly and getting to his feet. You rolled onto your stomach, balancing your head on your hands.
“Oh, come on. If I don’t joke about it, it’s just plain embarrassing.” You watched him as he started to search around for the pants that he had wanted to wear. He looked over at you as he took his casual pants off and slipped on the new ones, tight and black.
“Oh, you can joke about it all you want. Just make good ones. Buzz off with the bad ones,” he said, looking quite proud of himself. You tried not to laugh, you really did, but you couldn’t help the burst of giggles that came out of you. No fly accompanying them, unfortunately.
“Hey, I’m just winging it,” you said, getting up and started to get ready yourself. That one made him laugh at least, and you moved around each other, getting dressed, using lint brushes on your all-black outfits, and applying eyeliner on one another, making sure that it was smudged just perfectly.
“Is it weird I still want to kiss you?" he asked, his eyes looking at you sweetly. You felt your typically cool face starting to get warm from that.
“No,” you said, softly. “The fact that you still want to ... it has me flying high.”
He groaned again and swatted at your ass, making you jump away and laugh. But after another couple of seconds, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in, kissing you. His lips were warm, soft, tasty. It had taken you a while to get over the hunger urges that you felt when his lips touched yours. You had to stop yourself from breathing, even through your nose, when you kissed him, or the temptation was just too high. But it was a small price to pay for a feeling such as this. Being loved, being accepted for who you are. For what you had become.
This undead heart of yours was still beating.
You greeted the Ways with a smile and a welcoming hug. They had always been kind to you, even after finding out what you were. Gerard had gotten his big heart from them, that was for sure. They were even nice enough to put their hands behind their backs after they had given you a hug, to hide the fact that you had been so cold, you gave them goosebumps. They didn’t want to make you feel bad, which was something that you appreciated. But not everybody else was as welcoming.
This dinner party was at Gerard’s uncle’s house. This was your first time meeting them, and you had been looking forward to it - until you saw the looks that they were giving you. Your first thought was that it was because of the way that you were dressed - much like Gerard and Mikey, you wore more of an alternative style. But then you saw the way that your skin stood out in contrast to Gerard’s, where your hands were intertwined. He was pale, but you were more so. An undead blue tinge to your skin, the strong appearance of the veins. You were different. There was no hiding it.
“It’s really nice to meet you,” You attempted, nonetheless. You held out your hand to shake Gerard’s Uncle’s, but he just looked down at it as if you were handing him a deceased rat. You tried one more thing before you would try to fade back into the wallpaper out of shame. “You ... have a very lovely home.”
“Yes, we like to keep it ... clean,” he said, which felt like a complete insult. You backed up against Gerard again, who immediately whispered words of assurance into your ear.
“It doesn’t matter what they say. You have more life in you than he does. He’s jealous,” Gerard said, in that soothing tone of his, the kind that sent a shiver up your spine because of how naturally enticing it was.
The front door opened again, and this time, Mikey stepped in. You breathed out a sigh of relief. Someone else who would most likely have your back if the family was rude to you. Your partner’s younger brother seemed to light up at the sight of you and moved over to give you a hug.
“Hey, I’m glad you’re here,” The bespectacled man said. “My brother’s been hogging you too much. Did you forget that we’re friends too?”
You laughed and you hugged him back. You might have stayed in the hug longer, if you weren’t worried that you were literally sucking the warmth out of him. You pulled back after a half-moment. “I would never forget, I’ve just been busy,” you told him. “We’ll get together soon for another movie night or something.”
There was some time for socializing while Gerard’s aunt - who hadn’t yet made an appearance - was cooking in the kitchen. You could, technically, eat their food but it would do nothing to sustain you. It was more for the taste than anything. And for appearances. Luckily, you had enough raw meat back at your place to keep you from going too ... well, rabid in a way. To stop your hunger from being voracious. It was always there, like an annoying nagging feeling, but you’ve managed to get a bit more used to that feeling. You didn’t look at Gerard with hunger anymore, thankfully.
Gerard, Mikey and you mostly kept to yourselves while the older members of the Ways talked to one another. Sometimes, an aunt or a cousin would direct a question over to the boys who would answer it, but they never once asked you anything about yourself. It was more than a little hurtful, to tell the truth.
“Hey, at least they aren’t being intrusive,” Mikey said in a low voice. “When I first brought a girl around, they treated her like she was a suspect or something. She had to spill her life story before they even set the table. Really annoying, actually.”
“Because they probably thought that she would stick around,” you said, slowly. “They clearly don’t want me here.”
“Just - give them a chance to get to know you, doll,” Gerard said, picking up your hand and kissing the top of it. He looked so sweet doing that - he probably could have gotten you to do anything. He cleared his throat, still holding your hand, to get the attention of everyone in the room. “So, y/n here actually helps to write some of our songs,” he said, proudly.
“Yeah, and always giving me ideas for new bass lines,” Mikey added, nodding. You smiled at their attempts to get the family to notice you, to find an opening to learn more about you. But they looked without much interest. Donald and Donna, Gerard and Mikey’s parents, asked you about what kind of writing you’ve been working on lately, but everyone else talked amongst themselves as if this part of the conversation wasn’t even happening. You were feeling more disappointed by the second. You just put your head down on Gerard’s shoulder, and remained quiet, choosing to be a complete wallflower than to interrupt anyone. Than disturb them.
Dinner was served. It was the first time that you were able to meet Gerard’s aunt, but she took one look at your blue-tinged skin tone and looked over you dismissively like the rest of them. Gerard pulled a chair out for you and then pushed you in like a gentleman, and it felt like as soon as you were stuck within close proximity to them, they all started to look uncomfortable.
“Will your date be eating, Gerard?” His aunt said, setting down the gravy boat and turning it slightly so it was perfectly parallel with the rest of the table.
“Why wouldn’t they?” Gerard replied back. She just responded with a hum, and then took her place, making you feel more self-conscious than ever.
“It all looks really good,” You complimented. She looked at you with a forced smile. You had this sudden urge to just jump over the table, push everything she had so carefully made onto the floor. The meat, gone. The potatoes, gone. The vegetables, they could roll all over the floor for all you cared. And you wanted to sink your teeth into her neck. All of them, actually. Let all of them see what it’s like to feel like you have no control. To have something like this HAPPEN to you, instead of choosing it. You had absolutely no choice in the matter, and you did all that you could to stay human, why couldn’t they see that? Why couldn’t they see that it was your restraint that was keeping them happy and safe in their home right now? They should be thanking you at the very least, they should be filling your plate so that you wouldn’t chomp down on their heads, looking for brains which clearly didn’t exist -
“Here,” Gerard said, putting a piece of meat on your plate for you. He must have noticed the faraway look in your eye and tried his best to distract you. You looked over to him and you put a smile on your face.
“Thanks, Gee,” you said, and took small servings from everything, wanting to taste it but also not wanting to take it from anyone else’s mouth. You cut into the meat carefully, not wanting to do anything that seemed impolite and brought it to your lips. It tasted really nice. You almost wished it didn’t. It would have been great if you had something that you could hold over Gerard’s aunt’s head. But it was good. “This pot-roast is really good,” you said, deciding to give this one last try. “Is that ... paprika?”
“Mmm - yes, just some spices from the grocery store,” The woman said, barely letting her eyes pass over you. She looked back towards her husband. “Why don’t you tell everyone about that funny little meeting that you had at work-”
The conversations continued over the dinner table. Names and companies were said, none of which you recognized. It did feel like you were being left out on purpose, and you really did try not to take it personally. Just because you were miserable, it didn’t mean that Gerard had to be. You looked over at him and saw that he wasn’t paying attention to what was being said, instead he was pouring extra gravy onto his potatoes, tongue slightly out in concentration. He carved out a dent and was trying to fill it up perfectly. You looked to your other side, where Mikey was sitting. He had his phone out, underneath the table, and was texting someone rather than eating.
You started to cut a little more viciously into your food. Not enough to scrape the knife and fork against the plate but the meat was more rough-hewn now. You took a large piece into your mouth - and then found yourself choking because of how fast you had tried to swallow it. You didn’t chew it properly, and now it was getting stuck in your throat.
You coughed into your fist. When that didn’t work, you took a large drink of water, but that only seemed to make it worse. Your coughing started to grow a little worse and Gerard took notice. He started to pat you on the back, getting a little rougher with it until you finally coughed up the piece of meat that had almost re-killed you. You had everyone’s attention now. Every set of eyes were upon you. But your body apparently wasn’t done. A feeling of uprising was in your gut - and to your absolute horror, you burped.
God, you wished that was all. But of course, it wasn’t. Your luck was too atrocious for that. When you released the gas and the air, the fly that had been bothering you earlier today came buzzing out. Nobody looked away from it for a second, not even your own wide eyes. It seemed to do a bit of a loop around the table, buzzing happily. And then it settled right down on what was left of the pot-roast, rubbing its little hands, releasing digestive juices so it could slurp it right up.
“That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen!” Gerard’s uncle bellowed. Your eyes got even wider with the realization that instead of just being ignored, you were being downright shamed now. There was an uproar from most of the older people, claims that they had lost their appetite, or they could no longer eat with one of ‘that kind’ at the table. Donna and Donald were both trying to calm them all down. And you could feel Mikey snickering beside you. Gerard put his arm around you, pulling you up from the table. You just let him. You were mortified that it had happened at all.
“Come on, we’re leaving,” Gerard said. “I don’t want to eat with their kind, actually.”
“Second that,” Mikey said, standing up as well. “See ya later, mom, dad.”
That was the last that you heard before Gerard shuffled you back out into the evening air, the sun just past the setting point, the sky turning an indigo color. The first of the stars were starting to make their appearance. You breathed in deep mouthfuls of the cooling air, and then hid your head in Gerard’s band t-shirt again.
“I’ve never been so embarrassed,” you said, biting down on your lip, ripping off the skin from it. You could bleed, but it came out slow - sluggish, even. Jellifying.
Gerard ran his thumb against your lower lip as he backed up a step, not willing to let you hide. He wiped the blood off, then brushed it against the bottom of his shirt. “Don’t be,” he said, quickly. “They were being assholes. I didn’t think that they would be like that just because you’re a Z, but they showed their true colors tonight. They should be ashamed, not you.”
“Yeah!” Mikey echoed. “You were complimenting them. I wouldn’t ever have guessed there was paprika on the roast...” He said, trying to make you feel better.
“I just feel like such a freak sometimes,” You admitted. “That was your family, Gerard. I wanted to impress them. I - I guess I wanted to be a part of them.”
“You are,” Gerard said, tapping just under your chin so that you would raise your head to look at him. To meet the friendly eyes of Mikey and the loving ones of your boyfriend. “My parents love you, fuck the rest of them.”
“Yeah, we don’t even see them that much. I kind of hate these dinners,” Mikey chimed in, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Last Christmas, they gave me a gift card to The Gap. The Gap, y/n. Does it look like I shop at The fucking Gap?” Gerard said, shaking his head, which did bring out some laughter from you. You tried to picture him in some denim shorts and a beige top, and it just didn’t go with his vibe at all. Gerard started to grin once he heard your laughter though. “There you are. Welcome back, my sexy zombie.”
“- and I’m out,” Mikey said, putting his hands up. “I’m going my own way, see you later guys!”
“See you Mikes,” You grinned with a wave goodbye. Once he had turned around, Gerard had his arm back around you and was pulling you in to kiss your temple. “Are you really going to want to kiss me after seeing a fly come out of my mouth?” You asked.
“Are you kidding me? That’s one of the coolest things that I’ve ever seen,” Gerard said, grinning like a fanboy and you were Batman in the flesh. “Totally Candyman, but with a fly. If only you could do it on command. Whenever someone is bugging us, you just open up and - let them fly!”
You were giggling beside him now, imagining it in the way that he was. Just because you were a zombie, didn’t mean you had to be like your typical zombie villain, shambling around. You could become something of your own. Like Gerard said - like Candyman.
“Yeah, I’ll try that the next time I’m invited to your family’s dinner parties. If they ever invite me again,” you said. Thinking back, the chaos was a bit funny. You only wish you could have seen everyone’s faces.
“If you’re not invited, I’m not going either,” Gerard said, proudly. “Living, dead, you’re still my number one.”