Ang sarili nating Germany and Rome
Recently, nagkaroon ako ng profound liking sa kantang Germany and Rome ng the Ridleys. Hindi na siguro lingid sa kaalaman ng taong malalapit sa akin na solid talaga 'yong vibe ng The Ridleys. Iba 'yong folk-inspired song nila. Lagi akong nakukuha sa ganoong style.
Ilan sa lyrics na talagang pumukaw sa attention ko ay ang mga sumusunod:
When I told you that I loved you, well, I never would've guessed That you'd end up loving me too, and well, you know the rest.
You were smiling as the angels guarded you from up above And I couldn't help but wonder what you were dreaming of
In that morning birds were chirping and the grass was wet with dew; There and then, I saw the world from a different point of view
Higit sa lahat, ito 'yong masasabi kong favorite line ko:
We have traveled far to Germany and Rome But in the end, I know we'll find a way back home
Sobrang daming happenings sa buhay ko recently. 'Yong iba, parte talaga ng who I am right now. 'Yong iba, excess lang. Parang ingay lang. 'Yong iba naman, 'di ko inaasahang maging parte ng life ko pero nakuha ko na ring isama sa baggage sa mga dumadaan na araw, o linggo? Baka nga buwan pa. Taon? Pwede rin. Di na yata recently ito. But the thought remains.
Sa lahat ng mga bagay na iyon, sobrang dami ring nagbago sa akin. There are things that made me change who I am by nature. Need kasi for the things that has to be done. For the assignments na I have to finish. For the tasks I have to do. Hindi lamang sa expectations ng mundo (work, most of the time), pero kasama na rin ang expectations ko sa sarili ko. Nagbago ako. Sa totoo lang.
Malayo-layo na rin ang narating ko. And 'yong mga bagay that was mentioned above, are the things I consider as my Germany and Rome (G&R). Marami sila, actually. I have been to many places the past year. The past months. The past weeks. Heck, event the past days. These days weren't easy. Dahil sakanila, parang bumibilis ang buhay. Instead of what I have once heard na, "be in the moment," I can't. Ang daming demands ng buhay.
Masaya ako sa mga nasabi kong G&R ko, pero nakakamiss 'yong mga panahon na I get to be with what I can stay calm with. Where I don't feel much pressure from. Where I just enjoy every moment and be the best person I can be for myself. I have travelled far. Maraming natutuwa. Kahit naman ako, to some extent. Pero nakakapagod. Gusto ko lang, just like the song, for myself to find my way back home.
Siguro, the innocence. The calmness. The absence of most of my worries today. The love I give. The love I get. Nakakamiss. Things have really changed. Sabi naman sa kanta, in the end, we always find our way back home. Sana, mahanap ko siya. And sana, if mahanap ko siya, masaya ako sa babalikan kong home. At maging masaya pa rin kung may mga bagay mang dala ko through the G&Rs ko na hindi ko na kapiling sa pagbalik ko.
Sana, ikaw rin. Kung may Germany and Rome ka man, sulitin mo. Make sure na the G&Rs mo ay worth it. And be at peace with whatever they are. Since in the end, you'd have to come back. Leave the G&Rs and be at peace with it.