Gotta love when drunk me gets a chance to judge me and make me feel unloved so I go get a smoke to prolong the experience of inadequacy provided from seeing friends I haven't seen in forever and feeling like no one cares.
[There’s a template that you must fit. One way or another]
Nathaniel was special. If there was one thing anyone had to say about him, it was that he was a unique character. The kind of person who touched the life of everyone they came into contact with, and for the better. A memorable human being, and one who was unlike anyone else. As said, unique.
This was a problem, obviously.
While everyone agreed that his uniqueness was lovely and wonderful and charming and other such nice things, they also all agreed that it would just slow him in down in life. It would hold him back, prevent him achieving whatever it was he wanted to achieve. It would be in his best interests - they further agreed - if this uniqueness was removed somehow. Cut out, perhaps. Or smashed to bits.
There were hoops to be jumped through in life, and uniqueness was a weight and a bulky burden that would prevent Nathaniel from jumping through them. And jumping through them was mandatory. Doing so was what every had to do. For reasons. Reasons that were not open for discussion. It just had to happen.
So those people in Nathaniel’s life with an interest in such things took to helping him. With relish, and with hammers. His uniqueness was easy enough to find, being as it was unique, and it was set upon without mercy. Those parts that could not be flattened or smashed or which otherwise stubbornly refused to submit were amputated.
Nathaniel did not find the experience pleasant. He knew it was for the best, of course. He had been told so. It was all for his benefit, they said. He tried to keep this in mind as it went on and eventually it stopped bothering him quite as much. Or maybe he just stopped noticing. It wasn’t clear.
Once they were finished Nathaniel was much like everyone else, which had been the plan all along. Now he could succeed, just like everyone else. Now he could have a happy life, assuming he could ignore the screaming void where what had made him him used to be before it had been forcibly removed. He did his best.
The hoops proved easy enough, once he reached them. Some part of him told Nathaniel that he probably could have gone through them with the bits he’d had before, but it was too late for that now. It was enough that they were out of the way. His life could continue now, and that was what mattered.
Later, Nathaniel saw someone sauntering gaily past the hoops with barely a care in the world.
This brazeness was commented on and commended by all who saw it. The boldness and inventiveness of the nameless, unidentified person was beloved by all. How casually they defied expectations! How elegantly they trod their own path, heedless of the stated requirements! The hoops were immediately redesigned to accommodate their uniqueness so that others in future could be just as distinctive and individual.
Nathaniel was a touch put out by this development, for reasons no-one else seemed to fully grasp.
I’m gunna start a gaybar called Not Home Depot and the slogan is gunna be “We don’t have any building supplies but we got plenty of wood and some neat screws”
