you & me
suguru geto x reader
in which you and suguru have argued, and deal with the aftermath (hurt/comfort)
inspired heavily by you & me by diljit dosanjh (translated lyrics linked in paragraph three) - would recommend giving it a listen while reading!
contains: female reader, hurt/comfort, arguing + making up, kissing, crying, pet names (sweetheart, angel, [my] pretty girl, baby), non-sexual nudity (showering together), caretaker suguru, unspecified universe/timeline (could be read as curses or no curses; pre- or post- hidden inventory etc.)
word count: 2.9k masterlist
you belonged together.
it was as simple as that.
you were suguru's person, and suguru was yours. the moon to his stars, sun to his earth, as a part of each other as the interlocked roots of two centuries-old trees beside each other. as sure as you could be of waves on the shore, skittering up the sand only to recede back to the body of the ocean without fail, each and every time.
that's not to say that your relationship was not without its trials. the reality was quite the contrary. it wasn't that you fought or disagreed often in a way that detracted from your compatability, though.
and it was always worth it. how you came back to each other stronger.
one night, though, has you doubting that. what you thought would blow over in a matter of minutes, if that, has left you alone in the apartment you and suguru have made your home. it was stupid, you can see that now, stupid and petty and reckless, the way you let it blow up like a pot boiling over, the way you said what you did in the heat of it, the way you turned your back as he walked out the front door. you felt the stab of regret pierce you the moment the words spilt sharp from your tongue, burnt bitterness left in your mouth like rot.
your heart's barely slowed, still racing from the adrenaline as the sickening feeling settles low in your stomach, the chasm deepening like someone carved it with a knife. you curl up into the corner of the sofa, fluffy blanket doing nothing to warm you, the cushions soft against your back. but it's all wrong, the feeling foreign, paling in comparison to what you're used to. usually it would be suguru's chest that you find yourself curling into, the steady beat of his pulse far more comforting than the plush down of any pillow.
you glance at the front door, averting your eyes quickly as if you're being judged (by who? yourself, probably). judged for looking, for waiting for him to come back, for hoping it'll be soon. suddenly, the clock is so very interesting as you try to tell yourself you're not thinking about him, each tick of the second hand an event as you find yourself calculating how long he's been gone. close to an hour, now, you realise. an hour since your words cut him like a blade you wielded too carelessly. an hour since you saw the hurt flash through violet eyes in a way that you don't think you've seen before. an hour of sitting in your festering regret like it's a pool of blood, and with how your chest aches, you're not sure if it's his or yours.
you haven't called him, not yet. too stubborn; you know it, and you hate it. you have his location, too, you both have each others, but you haven't checked yet out of defiance to your own heart, even though you know he's in one of probably three places. your phone is on the table, and when you pick it up, the screen is cold; your fingers are colder still. you open his contact, the text thread with him from mere hours ago mocking you with its 'sweetheart's and 'i love you's. your finger hovers over the call button of its own accord before you snatch it away, swiping the app away before opening his location.
as if you even needed to check to know where he'd be.
he's at the park, only a few blocks away. you should have expected as much. you know exactly where, too - that bench that looks over the river, tucked behind a line of trees big enough to make it just secluded, but small enough that the sun shines through as it sets. he's always loved it then, when the light shines through the foliage, dappled as it hits the water in striking oranges and yellows before the sun dips beyond the horizon. it's dark now, though, the grey of winter daylight having long faded into a deep blue.
you're locking the door behind you before you know it. you definitely haven't put on your thicker coat like you should have, and you don't think you care.
your legs take you there without much effort, your focus almost entirely on the little blue dot on your phone as you pray it won't move before you get there. the walk isn't too long, thankfully, but the wind chills you to the bone, clawing at your exposed cheeks and the tip of your nose. you can't remember if suguru grabbed a coat at all, now that you think about it, and you feel the pangs of guilt hit your chest all over again.
soon enough, you're rounding the corner and approaching the trees and the river.
suguru sees you before you see him, a rustle as you brush a low-hanging branch doing as much as his gut feeling to tell him that it's you.
you stand before him, posture closed, shoulders drawn low as you look at him, then drop your gaze to the floor, kicking at the fallen leaves beneath your feet.
"what are you doing here?" suguru asks, the sight of you before him unexpected as the scratch in his voice does little to hide his dejection, only giving away what his reddened eyes would've if it wasn't dark. "you shouldn't- it's not safe, something could've-" he tries, swallowing thickly to stave off the tears before he can finish his sentence. his fingers twitch at his side, his legs urging him to get up while the rest of him fights it.
until you sit beside him. at the other end of the bench, yes, but beside him nonetheless. you don't say anything.
neither does he. he's not sure he can, not with the lump in his throat and the tears pricking his waterline.
it's silent, unsettlingly so, save for the gentle swish of the wind through leaves.
until you break it.
"i'm sorry, suguru." the words are tiny as they leave your lips, so small that he's not sure whether he imagined them or not. "i shouldn't have- i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm so sorry." your head is tilted down, slightly, but not enough to fully obscure your face - when suguru glances at you, he can see the telltale shine of tears reflecting in your eyes.
he doesn't answer immediately, not until he steadies his breathing. "i know. it's okay." is all he can get out, voice soft like he's trying to make himself believe it, fingers curling into fists at his side.
the silence stretches between you again, the gap of a couple of feet feeling more like the space between planets.
when you finally speak again, the words feel too loud.
"it's not okay." you contest quietly, finally turning to look at him. his eyes flicker at the movement, before he blinks a few times. "i hate that i hurt you." you admit, the ache coiling in your gut, poised, tears springing to your eyes again.
he doesn't have anything to say to that.
"i know it's not your fault, that you're busy. that you have to work so much. i just..." you attempt, choking on the last words before you can even say them. i just miss you, sometimes, all the time, is what you want to say. i miss you so much that it aches, and sometimes i'm scared you don't miss me when you're gone. "i shouldn't have said it like that." you say, finally, and you both know it's true.
"you shouldn't have." he agrees, but there's no cruelty in his tone, just fact. maybe there's an element of cruelty in that in itself. you're not sure. "but i'd rather you tell me like that than not at all." he admits, voice low.
you shiver, glancing at him before blowing warm air on your hands, rubbing them together before sliding them into your pockets.
"you're cold." he notes aloud despite himself. it's not a particularly striking observation to have made, but the way suguru says it, the fact he says it all makes your heart clench.
"you're not even wearing a coat." you point out, the tiniest hint of your usual spark coming through as you look at him. he sighs, not of frustration, though, eyes softening as he meets your gaze.
"come here." it's not a command, or a plea, or a request. you're not sure what it is, but you do it.
his arms are warm around you, if a little shaky, as he holds you against him, his cheek pressed against your temple as you squish half into his side, half into his front. his cheeks are cold - no surprises there - and a little damp, stung by the wind and his tears as they begin to dry. the thought makes your own fall from your lashes.
"i missed you, suguru." you confess softly, and you feel him hum against you as much as you hear it.
"was only gone an hour, baby." he says, the faintest sprinkling of his usual charm in his words. the return of that pet name to his vocabulary after what has felt like far too long makes your heart jolt in your ribcage, as he lets a pause drag out. "i missed you too, though." he admits eventually.
you hesitate, breath shaky. "no, i mean... when you're not here. i really miss you. a lot. every time." a sob bubbles up in your throat, your voice faltering. "i'm sorry i was so mean about it."
it's all you can say before you crumble, your body trembling against him as you press your face into his shoulder, tears soaking his jumper.
"oh, sweetheart..." he murmurs, his hands drifting to your hips before he lifts you into his lap, your hands curling into fists, clutching the fabric at his shoulders as you press your face into his chest. "i should have noticed, i'm sorry, baby." he whispers, a hand slides up your back, cradling the back of your head, his thumb brushing over your hair softly.
you hiccup as you try to breathe through it, each shaky inhale and exhale slower than the last.
"alright, angel. time for us to go home, hmm?" his voice is tender as he presses a kiss to your hair, arms wrapping around you securely. then, he's lifting you like you're weightless, carefully standing up so as not to startle you, or god forbid, drop you.
(he would never. he'd sooner sacrifice himself than do such a thing.)
the streets are empty on the the walk home. it's quiet - peaceful, not eerie, thankfully - just a haze of blurred streetlights above you and the thump thump of suguru's footsteps that matches his heartbeat. suguru's pace is brisk, despite the fact that he's carrying you, too, and before you know it, the comforting warmth and scent of your apartment is hitting you as suguru opens the front door. he hangs your coat up for you once he sets you down on the sofa, right where you were not even two hours ago, crouching to take your shoes off for you before removing his own, stacking them neatly away. he sinks into the sofa cushion beside you, and you slump against him, the both of you emotionally exhausted, but ultimately okay.
(you always will be, in the end.)
he pulls you on to him again, letting himself flop down on his back as you lay your head on his chest. he fumbles for a blanket, the same one you had wallowed under earlier, tugging at it until it covers you both before slipping one hand into yours, the other resting easily on your back.
he glances at the clock - how did it get so late? he has half a mind to carry you straight to bed, but judging by how cold your fingers feel in his, and how he's been outside in no more than a hoodie for far too long, both of you could do with some warming up.
"sweetheart, do you want to go to bed? or shower?" he asks you gently, gingerly playing with your fingers as you look up at him, eyes a little bloodshot and addled with fatigue.
you hum, thinking as you rest your cheek against his chest again. "shower."
"okay. i'll get your things - you can go first." and oh, this is so heartachingly suguru; your sweet, sweet boy. your heart squeezes at his words, how he cares for you without a second thought, like it comes as easy as breathing, like it's what he was put here for.
you shake your head. "together." you request softly, a little shy and you're not sure why.
he couldn't refuse if he wanted to, not when you're peering at him with those big soft eyes. the sight reminds him of a kitten, and his heart threatens to melt into a puddle in his ribcage where you've made a home. he lets out a half-hum half-chuckle at your clinginess, loving every second of it, his answer an affirmative nod.
you attach yourself to him as the two of you get everything you need, your hand lingering at his side, as if leaving any more than a few inches of space between you makes your skin sting. before you know it, the world blurs at the edges, shrinking until it's just you and suguru and tendrils of steam curling around you as you lather yourself in cinnamon scented soap, suguru's favourite, and yours, too, as a result. suguru has thrown his hair up in a bun to try and avoid getting it too wet - it makes him look younger, the style reminiscent of his high school self, the version of him that you first met and first loved. you rinse yourself of the foam as suguru stands behind you doing the same thing, his hands resting gently over your hips, thumbs working tiny circles into your wet skin.
when the heat of the water and steam has soothed your body and soul, suguru insists on drying you despite your half-hearted protests that you can do it yourself.
"i know you can, baby, but i want to. want to take care of you." he says softly, wrapping your towel around you once he's secured his own around his waist. it doesn't take much convincing for you to give in, anyway, not when he's looking at you like that. like you're a goddess on earth, and his sole purpose is to worship you.
he's quick, but thorough with it, mindlessly humming the tune to a song you recognise but can't name as he massages moisturiser into your shoulder blades. "so beautiful, sweetheart. my pretty girl." he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck before he pauses. "i should've been doing this more lately." he admits quietly, more to himself than anything else. "i'm sorry i haven't been around, baby."
"you don't have to apologise, suguru. it's not your fault." and he just might believe the words you whisper as you're turning around to face him, one hand coming up to caress his cheek. "i'm just glad you're here now."
between you, you make quick work of finishing up in the bathroom. suguru accepts your offer of help in moisturising his back, wanting to feel your hands on his skin, even though you both know he can reach himself. you get into your pyjamas, an old, worn, soft t-shirt of suguru's and the shorts from a set he bought you years ago, while suguru puts on some ancient band tee from high school and clean boxers.
you brush your teeth, do a simplified version of your standard nighttime routine, and then, suguru is picking you up again and carrying you to your bedroom. you let out a soft laugh when he hoists you into his arms (officer and a gentleman style). he smiles, and despite the tiredness you can see in them, it reaches his eyes. he carefully puts you down, and you slide under the thick duvet as he crawls in beside you. he pulls you into him for what feels like the hundredth time today (not that you would ever complain), positioning himself on his side as your face is beside his on the pillow. you tangle your legs with his, getting as close as you possibly can, until you're fairly certain that detangling electrical wires would be easier than separating you from him.
"sweet dreams, angel. i love you. so much." he murmurs, eyes fluttering shut as he kisses you, his lips soft against yours. it's brief, gentle enough not to be overwhelming, and a little minty, but so full of warmth; even as you pull away, the heat of his touch lingers, lulling you to sleep as you press your face into the crook of his neck
"mm, goodnight, baby." your words are muffled as your lips move half against his skin. "i love you, suguru, love you always."
he doesn't doubt it, not for a second.
and just like how the moon will always reappear after being hidden by the earth's shadow, you'll always end up here, back in suguru's arms again.
a/n: hi i hope you enjoyed! was listening through aura by diljit dosanjh and this song hit me like a brick it's so pretty and the lyrics (idk punjabi okay i read the translation) are sooo pretty it made me think ab suguru and how he and his s/o would make up after an argument <3 resulted in me writing the longest thing i've ever written in one sitting and posted hahah :3 also gang should i change my url to smth jjk related ?!? anyways lots of loveee ily <3
