27th April 2013 Saturday 12:00 am
In about 8 hours or so I will be on my quest to find a job.
I'm aiming at any places that offers job that has to do with food.
I'm scared. Really scared.
I feel like I'm about to enter a nervous breakdown.
I've been trying to calm myself down with musics.
And google has become my therapist once again.
It seems like I'm not alone.
Other people, somewhere out there, are probably facing the same situation that I'm facing. That calms me a little bit.
I guess this is just a part of life.
Exploring new things. Taking risks. Taking actions.
Just another step to be independent.
I suck at being independent.
Sometimes I blame my parents for keeping me at home 24/7 and never letting me go to parties or hang out with friends.
Sometimes I blame myself for not rebelling hard enough and just be the bad kid and sneak out of the house to parties or something.
(i hate for thinking that ugh)
It's no use looking back at the past. Focus on the present. The present me is a socially awkward and super shy person, with zero social skills.
But I have to change. This is the biggest step in my life that I have to take. It is now or never. I can't delay this any longer. The clock is ticking, I'm getting older. I can't depend on my parents all the time. They're gonna be gone one day and I will be left alone to fend for myself.
I shouldn't be afraid of rejections, its normal part of life that I just need to face. I shouldn't be afraid to mess up coz I'm just a human.
First of all, I shouldnt be afraid of people. My own race. Human race.