[CW: discussion of medical stuff, needles, and therapy]
~~~ ⓘⓣ ⓘⓢ ⓐⓝⓔⓒⓓⓞⓣⓔ ⓣⓘⓜⓔ ~~~
On the 17th, I had my second round of a procedure called a medial branch block. My spine doctor realized my vertebrae are like a bone version of crumbly bleu cheese, and some nerves have been stuck in the crumbles (causing excruciating pain), so as a test they’re injecting numbing stuff into the nerves to see if it helps. Insurance requires two of these tests to see if they help before authorizing ablation of the nerves to get rid of the bits stuck in the crumbles.
The first round was... bad. Far more painful than anticipated. A surgical nurse gave me a little foam stress-ball avocado, and it was crushed flat in my fist.
And so, I was nervous for Round 2. This time was going to involve IV anesthesia and I hate all needles with a fiery passion, so I was anxious about the procedure and doubly anxious about the IV.
That nurse, trying to distract me, asked what I would be doing if I weren’t there. The first thing I could think of was, “Uhh... probably at home watching D&D things?” Which, as soon as I said it, I felt a celestial wedgie and fought the urge to push my glasses up my nose 🤓
Her eyebrows went up. “Do you D&D?”, she asked.
I warily replied, “Yeah... I do D&D.”
The next 15 minutes was spent giving her advice on where to get books and equipment for her teenage sons (“My youngest wants a... a Master’s Screen? Do I need to Etsy that?”), how to help the younger one deal with always being the one DMing for his chaotic friends, some advanced gift ideas for the elder teen, and what skills she didn’t realize they’re sharpening by playing the game. Critical thinking, communication, empathy, math, statistics, architecture and urban planning, just heaps of stuff they’re practicing when they “do D&D”.
She took out a notepad and asked if there were any videos she could watch with him. I had a moral imperative to recommend Dimension 20’s Adventuring Academy, since Brennan Lee Mulligan and his rowdy gang of rascals are what reignited my love for a game I had been gatekept out of for many years.
My anxiety was fully short-circuited, and the procedure went fine! 🎉
A few days later was my weekly therapy appointment (via Zoom). One of the topics we touched on was how people react when you tell them you’ve lost someone — how awkward people generally are when responding to grief, and how much easier such social interactions would be with cards or signals you could flash to let people know how you felt about them broaching certain topics.
I mentioned how much it helped in things like D&D to have safety tools and consent signals in place, and my therapist asked me to explain what I was talking about.
I described how much better it felt to immerse yourself in a fantasy world among people who felt obligated to keep everyone at the table psychologically safe. How inhabiting a character requires a vulnerability that can so often be wrecked by selfish DMs or insensitive edgelords, so when you know those types of people aren’t present, you can let go of the edge of the pool and truly explore.
I was waiting for a “...but you know that’s not real life, right?”, but instead, she asked me to send her links to read up on the lines/veils/cards/check-ins/etc. because her teenage daughter plays D&D and didn’t know there could be a system in place to set boundaries and communicate discomfort.
What on earth was the point of this post... I guess to fully think aloud, Livejournal-style, and document that one of the less-terrible parts of 2020 has been greater digital accessibility to playing and watching TTRPGs. The stigma is crumbling with the growing popularity of Dimension 20, NADDPod, The Adventure Zone, Critical Role, et al., as they serve as vehicles to help us escape reality for a bit. More diverse GMs and players are claiming territory and setting examples to get more varieties of people engaged in the universe. As Discord and video calls became the norm, it opened a whole world for singular players to find groups and for groups to span continents.
It still blows my mind that TTRPGs have gone, within my lifetime, from “True Nerds Only! No Girls Allowed!” to what they are today. In my personal scrapbook of 2020, it would be 75% redacted and 25% D&D.
