A/N: Day 7 of Scott Smajor Appreciation Week: Favourite Scott Moment! I had such a hard time picking for this one because I have so many favourites, so I decided to go with what I feel is the most underrated moment :] this entire interaction was just so incredibly abuse-coded to me, with Pearl refusing to take accountability for her actions, the evident guiltripping, getting mad when Scott politely asks her to respect his boundary and not betray his trust again, the obvious halfheartedness of it all and yet Scott forgiving her anyway when she promised she 'wouldn't do it again' even if it was clear she would... Chef's kiss! It was obviously unintentional from the CCs but it was such a good portrayal of abuse and how victims constantly forgive their abuser under the premise of 'they won't do it again', believing them every time, even though it's obvious the abuser feels no remorse, so I thought I'd rewrite/analyse the moment!
Word Count: 600+
"I've decided... I'm fully in. Whatever weird, wacky... crazy way you want to play this, I'm in."
The other three cheered as if it was an exuberant, earnest vouch of consent, as if Scott's voice wasn't exhausted and exasperated, as if they hadn't whittled him down to this after weeks of the explicit boundaries he'd explained were for both his and their safety were ignored, until he'd decided there was no use drawing lines in the sand if the tide was just going to wash them away, no use erecting a fence if everybody was just going to take an axe to it, anyway. He was tired. So, so tired. Maybe it had been selfish of him to ask them to respect his wishes in the first place. "But... but, I need full guarantee loyalty. That you're not going to betray me. Okay? Guys?"
"Nope! Final four right here!" Impulse declared.
"Of course not!" Cleo echoed.
"So, that if someone is, I don't know, laying a trap at the base, and someone is at the base and happens to know about it, they maybe tell the other people..." Scott's gaze slowly, but pointedly fell on Pearl, gaze thick with weariness, but not wariness. Never wariness. Even if it should've been.
Pearl looked over her shoulder, as if he were talking to someone else, despite the fact she was the only person on his left-hand side he could possibly be referring to. "Hm? What? You talkin' to me?" She almost seemed cheeky, not even necessarily remorseful, just smug, almost taunting. He ignored her lack of acknowledgement and guilt in favour of forgiveness. As he always did.
"I'm happy to let bygones be bygones, I didn't die, so, it's fine... we removed BigB for betraying me, for threatening to, apparently, so I want guarantee that you're not going to do it, Pearl... okay?" Even he was aware it was less of a firm boundary he was drawing but more of a beseech. A beg. And, even then, it went disregarded.
"Wh- I didn't do nothing!" She gawked, offended anger alighting in her voice as he did nothing but ask her not to conspire to kill him behind his back, again, Scott feeling himself flinch under her raised voice as she seamlessly deflected accountability for her actions, "Alright? They just strolled up, and they were friendly, they were so lovely to talk to!" She proclaimed about his would-be-murderers, crossing her arms with a sour expression, not even acknowledging her fault, or Scott's right to be upset about the betrayal of trust, undermining it effortlessly as she let her voice wobble with obvious melodramaticity, "I wasn't lonely for once..."
Scott knew it was a guilttrip. And, yet, still, he tripped. He fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. He always did, whenever she brought up Double Life, whenever she alluded it to it, the unspoken connotation in her words clear; your fault, Scott, the isolation, the loneliness, it was all because of you. She knew all she had to do was bring it up and his guilt complex would mean she'd have him around his finger, that he'd be willing to die for her, willing to excuse any behaviour, to swim in a tank of poisoned pufferfish for her, willing to do anything.
It was only hours afterwards, rerunning the conversation in his head, that Scott realises Pearl had never agreed. He'd never got the guarantee. She had never promised she wouldn't do it again.
And, it was only hours afterwards, that he realised it wouldn't have mattered, even if she had.
She could do it a million more times. She could betray him, abuse, him, kill him...
And he'd still never learn his lesson.
He'd always forgive her.
Because there was something familiar, something comforting about being stuck in the cycle of her abuse.
