#ghost gab

[shed-velvet]

feel like we morphed in our sleep when we dreamed abt shapeshifting. body feels worn n achy in a “got taken apart then roughly put back together” kinda way

in the dream we were having i saw myself from the outside for the first time, n the body had morphed my human form, n i was like i remembered my body being before, in my old life. i had my own voice back too

whole dream was p … dark n personal. weird n scary. but i saw myself, alive again, corporeal, n plainly human. as much as i’ve accepted also becoming a weredeer, i wish i had more power to morph fully human w/o deer aspects popping out. so i can have the whole spectrum, not just animal n were.

[thehunterofthelostworld]

Destiny Fan Lore Tab: The Eris Morn Shell

Jack: So Eris you wanted to see me cause I got some Armor to make.

Eris Morn: I have made a little extra protection for your Ghost.

J: Really, what is it?

[Eris hands Jack the shell]

J: Ok that's a... more then a bit creepy.

E.M: I made this shell by studying some Hive sorcerers and tampering it with the Light. If my theory is correct it will allow your Ghost to resist the Darkness of the Moon better.

J: Sorts like an antivenom. Well Gab you up to try this out?

Gab: Well I don't see why not.

[Gab puts on the Shell]

J: How ya feeling Gab?

G: Am I supposed to hear a high pitched scream?

E.M: That should subside in do time. And know that the test was a success I'll make more Shells for some of the other Guardians on the Moon.

[Jack then stares angrily at the Former Hunter]

J: Eris, if I go down Sorrow's Road your the first one my list. [Jack then points at Gab] And you, stay off my maps.

G: No promises Jack.

[shed-velvet]

so we’re just driving when i take possession to get us thru some midday traffic. i get the feeling of coming up shrunk cuz i’m using a body that’s smaller n my old one but i realize when i’m driving i feel especially downsized!! and i’m trying to think of why that is when i realize it’s cuz in the time after i died they started building these bitches bigger n bigger til now everyone n their grandma’s driving a fucking miniature tank in the USA. and we still have a sedan 💀

[shed-velvet]

tryin 2 come up w things of my own 2 write abt my own alterhuman/nonhuman experiences separate from our plurality but its mcfreakin hard when everything overlaps w everything n it's hard to narrow down on a focused topic! i don't have "multiple kin identities" i have 1 messy multilayered alterbeingness tht keeps evolving n intertwining in new ways. i'm a human from this world tht came back as a ghost n weredeer n morph my own forms thru someone else's body. i have my own memories of a life in another time. i've both been shut out the plurality and tried to leave myself. i'm in a loving comradery w the haunt to my ghost now. i have my own developing relationship w our out-sys bf. i have my own shadows 2 grapple w, both that i brought w me n that i acquired in this life. i have atypical dysphoria. we've been on our owns helping me cope w that dysphoria. it's a constant uphill battle ekeing out outer-world space for me 2 exist n yet despite that... i still find myself happy here. cuz i can love n be loved like i never could in my old life, in my old habitat.

[shed-velvet]

i’d never hold it against em in any way but i got more n a bit of a feeling i got embalmed n tht doesn’t feel right 2 me, being half-animal now

but i don’t rlly know n never will ig

[shed-velvet]

me: done w trying 2 get exomemories back we r on #thislyfe

the universe: hey remember the time u did sumn funny w [——] n then u tried 2 play it cool n then he gave u the only name u remember as a ghost now?

me:

[shed-velvet]

had the zoomies while disembodied as a ghost deer. went around the corner n back n had a convo w coda like this:

coda: you’re going pretty fast for a deer

me: im weightless

coda: if you’re weightless then would you have no muscle weight to propel you? 🤔

me: well maybe my muscles are negligibly weighted, plus being incorporeal means no drag 🤔

coda: hmm

me: hmm

[shed-velvet]

got caught up in memory fragments again. this time i had a few flashes of my friends from my old life. no faces, just a vague idea of their shapes, but i remember the comradery more than anything else.

i got to wondering if being bound to my haunt was keeping me from meeting my friends again. but my haunt held me and said he has past life people he misses too. he’s just accepted that what’s gone is gone.

i thought about the rest of eternity in all its enormity stretching all out before me, and felt infinetesimally small, and immaterial.

that yawn of eternity felt a little too animate, actually. it had me both spooked and, well, a little offended. like really? right in front of my emo moment?

i come to realize eternity is a cat that’s too old to care about my mortal feelings