#giant ducks

[giantfunnyanimals]

5 Giant Ducks Cows T-Rex Cheetah Elephant Horse Fountain Crossing Animal...

[qaraxuanzenith]

Factually Deficient: Giant Ducks

This week on Factually Deficient, my blog for disseminating wildly inaccurate information, I explain the deal with giant ducks.

Please feel free to read, enjoy, send me more questions to answer with lies, and/or share with the waterfowl in your life.

https://factuallydeficient.wordpress.com/2016/12/06/giant-ducks/

[fangirlsinwonderland]

Because who doesn't need a giant duck in their dash?

[lana]

oh my god yes the giant rubber duck is launching this friday they're shutting down the clemente bridge for a party so everyone can watch the duck

and it's gallery crawl night so there will be free wine in every other building downtown

I LOVE PITTSBURGH

[thescurfofworse]

ok so

fucking amazing dream adventures last night

it began with me and a kingston friend of mine on a little tugboat thing and we were trying to steer through this really reedy, shallow river. it was marshy and hot and smelled so real i could barely see. alongside the river, there was a train track and there were these giant flying ducks all over the sky. we cleared our way through the reeds and the river broadened and the train track bridged over us. just as we were going under it, its shadow cast across us heavily, the giant ducks all landed and we had to cut the engine and be really quiet or else we would scare them off or draw attention to us which could be super bad. i mean let's be real, giant ducks are kind of terrifying. i don't know if you've ever been exposed to giant ducks... but yeah. these were like huge and their eyes were inky black and soulless and their beaks were as big as we were.

so we drifted along for awhile and then i made my friend laugh really hard by mimicking the ducks diving underwater by ducking my head into my shirt? not all that funny, honestly, but her laugh was loud and the ducks all stopped what they were doing and stared at us... side-eyed. which is probably why it was this friend and the ducks because we had just recently hung out on a dock in the dark with ducks. anyway. then one of them scoops her up and they all fly off.

so i was like, well shit. this is clearly all my fault. heck knows what these ducks are gonna do to her. so i better get on this. 

so i dive in the water. and i hold my backpack above my head somehow because yeah it's got my dad's point-and-shoot camera in it, and my kobo. for some reason these things are a factor. i swim to the edge of the water and my dog is there and i'm like cool, let's do this shit. 

i can see the shadows of the ducks moving over the landscape like the shadows low-hanging clouds cast on sunny days. but i'm still under the train bridge. so i start climbing the cast iron crossbars and lifting max up every level. it's super arduous. halfway up i can start to hear a party going on. it's got that smell like people who wear too much cologne and are all trying to have sex with each other and smoking cheap weed and expensive cigarettes. from above, their beer starts to spill on me. i kind of want to avoid the whole scene but i have to cross over the train bridge and they are taking up the whole thing.

so i carefully jostle along between them. i definitely almost fall in and i accidentally knock this guy into the water and everyone acts like it's the funniest thing so i keep going.

on the land on the other side, i'm still following the train tracks and i can still see the ducks overhead and along a little ways. i call to my friend who laughs back kind of nervously. her words travel down to me in this sketchy speech bubble thing with a really long tail? you know what i mean? anyway, she says "haha this is kind of fun they are being gentle right now i am just worried they have like hungry babies or something" and i can't see the words, it's just i'm aware there's no punctuation for some reason.

anyway me and max and my soggy shoes and my dry backpack, we mosey along. the forest is closing in around the edges and i smell cigarettes and beer again, but this time with like... body odour and sandalwood and that hempen smell. you know what i'm saying. hippie party time. i come upon them and they are by a fire just off the tracks by this lake. they are super friendly and one of them gives me a piece of pita with hummus. legit. one of the guys in plaid is kind of one of those bro hippies though. the kind who maybe only just cut off his appropriative dreds, who wears those wooden beads on a hemp necklace some girl he mysticized gave to him. yeah and he's like trying to be all cool with max and telling some other girl about how he met a wolf in the woods once and they just stared at each other. some bullshit. and max isn't buying it. anyway i bum a cigarette from one of the quieter people along the edges and we hit the road. they yell after me to be careful cuz i'm gonna have to go through a cave and do i have a flashlight.

of course i don't. so i follow the train track into this cavey tunnel and literally end up crawling along in the pitch dark and max is whining and pissed off but we keep going, and i just keep sliding my hand along the one track. 

eventually there is a vague reddish light and the crackling brown yellow smell of fire and i can hear murmuring voices. i can see my feet now so i get up and walk into this opening where i can see that the train tracks have just stopped. i am kinda dismayed by this, but not by the people i see around the fire. they are absolutely the most beautiful crust punk queers i have ever seen and there are definitely some tumblr friend cameos happening. they do not look at me at all but i go and sit beside this one with bright purple hair and piercings in lines like where cat whiskers would be, coming out from her nose. she looks at me and snorts and then hands me a cigarette and i am getting kind of reminiscent for my missing friend, looking at her purple hair. so i tell her the story of my adventure so far and on the other side of the fire, these shadows are being cast by everyone's hands and it's kind of dramatically telling the story as i do. it's super cool and i am impressed by these crust punks' mad story-illustrating skills.

i am impressed by the whole thing, really. i look around the cave situation and there are these amazing graffiti walls and things hanging from the ceiling that look like handmade instruments and dried vegetables and herbs and stuff. the fire is burning low but warm and there are a few pots and pans cooking sloppy-looking beige concoctions. there are stacks of logs along one wall. there are a few babies and kids wrapped in elaborate blankets and cast off leather jackets, sleeping soundly in these little chasms. somehow someone is running a tattoo gun with one of those little kick-pedals that people used to power sewing machines? suffice to say the whole thing was elaborate and amazing and i didn't want to leave but i also really wanted my pal to be able to see all this.

so, reluctantly, i get up and start moving around the walls of the cave, trying to figure out where to go next. then one of the tumblr friend cameos comes up and doesn't speak, just points to this little hole in the wall. i thank them and go to wake max, who is so snoozy by the fire that i feel super guilty. but you know, i gotta get on this. 

so we go through the little hole in the wall and it gets narrower and narrower and i am beginning to freak out when it just all falls away suddenly and i realize i'm out in the forest but the foliage is so heavy and low and it's so pitch black out that i thought i was still in the cave. i feel like a failure though, because it's night now and how will i see the ducks without their shadows and they are probably way out of sight now. i cry for a bit under a tree and max does that cute thing where he licks up my tears and his teeth chatter.

then there is this white light in the woods, moving through the trees, and at first i am like HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE VOLDEMORT OR SOMETHING. but obviously white light is a good thing, like a patronus or unicorn or something. and max seems to want to follow it and he's not barking... so i follow it a bit and i come to this marshy river thing again, like the one we had navigated in our tugboat. briefly i am scared that i got turned around but then i hear this woody breathing, like something big, sleeping deeply. like LOTS of big things sleeping deeply. and there is that weird dusty feather smell like near pigeon's nests? you know what i mean?

so i am like OH MY. I HAVE FOUND THE DUCK NEST.

and then i wake up.

[wnyc]

A giant duck floated through London today. 'Cause why not? That thing is huge. (via/more)

-Jody, BL Show-

[allicekitty13]

Sister: What even IS Pottermore

Me: *with fake tears* I don't know but I want one SO BA... OMG IT'S A GIANT DUCK!!!!