god it’s so healing to be surrounded by friends who are actually like smart
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god it’s so healing to be surrounded by friends who are actually like smart
The Gifted Kid: What It Really Means
I’m sure many of you’ve heard of the gifted kid syndrome, and if you’re reading this, there’s a chance you may have experienced it yourself. Most people have a vague idea of it, sure, but do you really get what it is?
So today, let me explain what we mean by gifted kids, if you don’t already know. When we say gifted kid, we mean children who typically understand and learn faster and more easily than their peers. Or, at least, that’s how it starts.
Because of this inherent ability to process things quickly, these children are usually praised by many for being “smart” and “intelligent” when what they really are is perceptive. However, this praise roots itself in these kids’ heads, and, of course, when kids are praised, they like it, right? So, they’re able to flaunt this innate ability to understand and perceive, and they begin to hyperfixate on this ability rather than things that children their age should actually be focusing on, such as cultivating social skills, learning to interact with their peers, and developing other basic skills.
It’s all well and good in the beginning until it comes to bite this kid in the butt later on in middle school or later. Because in elementary school it’s easy to understand the topics taught, kids who can naturally understand them don’t feel as though they are required to study, because they’ve understood the topic instantly, and can perform with excellence on even their first time trying. This means that these kids do not know how to actually study, to take time to learn various topics and how to understand them.
So when new topics come up, ones that can’t be understood instantly, these kids are utterly lost. They don’t know how to study these. They don’t know how to learn these things simply because they have not understood it immediately. They can’t ask for help from their friends, likely because they have few, if any, as while other kids learned to talk to peers, they were busy working towards seeking praise for being “smart” and “mature”.
Consequently, their grades fall, and they are no longer surrounded by the praise that had literally been the only thing they had going for them. Furthermore, that praise had likely built up their egos as a child, so when things begin to go downhill, it’s a crushing pull to reality -- that these kids, who had prioritised feeding this praise throughout their childhoods, are completely unable to function past a certain point. This, in most cases, leads to other mental issues, such as inferiority complexes, feelings of low self-worth, and in some cases, even depression.
Their pride is wounded, and they are drawn back to eventually realise that they aren’t particularly “special”, they’re just average kids who got lucky enough to be able to understand some things easier than others.
Now, on a separate note, there are other things this praise-based motive does to one’s mentality. Kids who were praised a lot often often become perfectionists, as they realise on some subconscious level that in order to keep being praised, they have to do their utter best to meet the ‘standards’. This only becomes prominent in later years, however, and, at least in my case, lead to poor time management skills, because if something isn’t my best, what good is it? If I wasn’t giving my all to make it perfect, it wasn’t worth anything. (More on perfectionism and its effects can be read here.)
If you have anything to add, feel free to do so, and correct me if I have anything wrong here! I’ll come back to edit this post if there’s something I’ve missed, so feel free to message me with any additions you may have.
there is this one thing that pisses me off
actually there is more than one so here we go:
i am seventeen years old and supposed to know what i’m going to do for the rest of my life. there is so much i long to see, so many paths to follow, and yet i am asked, constantly, to choose and hope not to regret. it is all i know: a wishful look over the shoulder, already pushed ten steps forward. i need to stop and think, but i can’t. it’s all too fast.
money would, admittedly, solve all my problems. it sounds shallow and horrible, but it is the entire truth. if i had enough money to be able to go study whatever i choose, all the while knowing i’d be able to support myself and also learn about things i’m passionate about, then my life would be complete. i’d go and study history or arts without feeling like a burden to my parents, without having to watch them anxiously trying to support me and failing, unrestlessly. i cannot blame them but i wish it were different. i wish i had more money. (sometimes i feel guilty, for i have a roof over my head and a warm meal in my plate. sometimes i don’t, for i know my life won’t be the one i would have wanted, and my pain is real and shall remain long into my heart and soul.)
i was “diagnosed” as gifted at seventeen, a handful of months ago, and there was no purpose for me to know. no goal to achieve, for my potential i believe has been wasted in the turmoil of my being. i am old enough now for my peers to have catch up with me, and these last few months have been filled with pain. i wish i didn’t know, i yearn for this blissful ignorance i basked in not over half a year ago. sometimes i wish i’d be send back in time, and forget.
i wish i’d see the end of the road, understand and stop this terrible, terrible misery and agony and despair. i wish i’d form meaningful bonds with people and keep them close. i wish i’d feel like a human being and not like a fleeting breeze dangerously swaying around, unanchored and lost. i wish things were different.
Psychotherapist Belinda Seiger details ways that some people with a "too-active" mind may deal with feeling overwhelmed, including drug use."
Weed girl’s story is one of discovery that begins when she comes to therapy for “depression” and discovers that in addition to being depressed, that she is actually a gifted or high potential young woman who has gone through life thinking something is wrong with her because parents and teachers told her from an early age that she was “too sensitive,” “too intense,” and “asking too many questions.”
...Her parents were initially taken aback by her unusual developmental trajectory; it was not until middle school that they began to feel that she was “too much to deal with because of her rage to explore, fierce desire to create and natural tendency to immerse herself in the world of books and storytelling.
... Weed Girl’s teachers graded her poorly since she preferred to focus on the reading books of her choice, instead of doing her school work most of the time.
...Smoking weed, drinking and trying some other drugs, weed girl preferred the pot smoking which she explains “took the edge off of her brain.”This was the beginning of Weed Girl’s new lifestyle which landed her in jail and rehab several times each.Sadly, by the time I met her, Weed Girl was pretty convinced that she was just a big screw-up and had forgotten about any of her strengths.Gifted people coping with a “busy mind”As with many gifted people who hear the dual messages of “Wow, you’re so smart or creative or talented,” along with the “You’re too much too handle” message, Weed Girl never learned how to cope with her own busy mind.
...When in therapy, we first touched upon her disappointment in herself; Weed Girl cried when she realized how she has been running away from her own gifts and passion by hiding in a haze of smoke. Of course dealing with the real issues of depression and anxiety are a priority along with helping Weed Girl to develop skills in managing her giftedness and related emotions while simultaneously enhancing her motivation to live a less weed centered life.
my elementary school GT teacher is basically the reason i’m able to function
me, before this year started: i took 5 ap classes last year i’ll be okay with 6 next year!
me, 8th day of school, exhausted, stressed, sad: how many classes can i drop and still graduate
school counselors: don’t take too heavy a courseload or you’ll die
me, signing up for all AP & honors classes again: hm?
gifted culture is having a god complex with 0 self esteem