#gilearposting

[gilearmaxxing]

Inhaled a bean from a bean salad today..

Beaned again.

Beans play an integral part in the cultivation of human suffering. To breathe is to choke.

[saltwaterembolism]

erhhm, dearest daughter.. Could you or perhaps one of your friends maybe "teach me how to dougie" ? The freshmen in the lunch queue have begun to deride me again for my ehm, forgive me, my "lack of bitches"

[gilearmaxxing]

I attempt to "sleep" but my little dog has stepped upon my eyeball, rendering me partially sightless. He then licked me, rendering me slightly sticky. En route to the bathroom to rinse? Stubbed my toe

In light of these events I have decided to announce that I will be reverting my physical form to a slime or jelly effective immediately, (preferably one lacking sentience) in an attempt to reduce these incidents

[gilearmaxxing]

I biked to the grocery store wearing my patterned (clearly pamamas) jammies today.

I was exuding divorced energy. I looked divorced, I felt divorced, I was wearing mismatched shoes.

However! Nothing bad happened! The clerk just asked if I was having a cozy day. It turns out that going outside in pajamas is better than not going at all? Filing this away for future reference.

[gilearmaxxing]

Just spilled yogurt on my shirt and had to change it... we out here Gilearmaxxing

[gilearmaxxing]

My rib bruise from the deer attack (in the middle of town??) is turning colors only shrimps can see

[gilearmaxxing]

I got bum rushed by a deer while biking.

My brake handle snapped and my bike is all bent, but believe it or not I didn't die

Too bruised to walk to work so I'm getting a ride from my younger coworkers. Feels very cringefail

[gilearmaxxing]

Out here totally "hurting it" and by "it", haha let me just say... my Yog