#girlfriendblogging

[littlestspider]

I'm high. I love Caitlyn a lot. Goodnight friends!

[littlestspider]

I forgot to post about this when I first got it, but look at this adorable glittery oddish that Caitlyn drew and put in my new sketchbook she gave me. It makes me smile every time I look at it ;w;

[littlestspider]

I had a really good Christmas! My brother came over for Christmas Eve and treated us to dinner and hung out for a while. Then yesterday I spent my morning playing video games and relaxing until it was time to go to my aunt and uncle's house. Caitlyn and I went over there and had Christmas dinner and got to meet my newborn baby cousin. Then we came home and all 4 of us sat down and shared some bubbly wine and opened gifts! I got to spend quality time with a lot of my loved ones, and no one fought or yelled or anything!! It was just a really nice Christmas. I think I'll have good memories of it for a while. ;w;

[littlestspider]

Also, happy birthday to my super cute gf @daydreamersdictionary! I have to work all day so I can't go to the movie and dinner party (boooo), but I hope she and everyone else has fun! 💗

[littlestspider]

Watching Caitlyn trying to play Mario while drunk is so funny and cute

[littlestspider]

Thinking about how much my life has changed in the past 3-4 years makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world.

I wish I could go back in time and tell 20 year old me that things really will get better. Like, hey past Kay, you know that dream life you keep imagining where you’re living in your own cute little apartment with your girlfriend, and you have your own nice car, and a decent job, and friends who love you? I know you think it’s never going to happen…but guess what! It does! And it starts out as just the two of you, but eventually you also end up with two other amazing girlfriends who live with you, too! (Don’t worry past Kay, I know it sounds weird to you now but eventually you’ll discover polyamory and it’ll be amazing, trust me.)

Like…I’m kind of living my dream life right now. I’m comfortable, I’m safe, and I feel loved. I genuinely feel loved, all the time.

Ahh sorry, I’m being super mushy again. I’m just still not used to feeling happy like this. I’m amazed by it pretty much constantly.

[littlestspider]

So…my dad is getting evicted again, so yesterday I had to go to his house to clear out my old room.

I was dreading it…a lot. I’ve been avoiding setting foot in that room since I moved out. I hate even going to that house. It’s a huge source of anxiety and depression for me, and the thought of having to go there to try to CLEAN that hellhole…well, it didn’t exactly make me feel very good.

But it actually wasn’t so bad. Because I had my loved ones with me.

At first I didn’t want them to come. I hate making other people deal with me and my family’s messes (both the literal and figurative ones). And while Caitlyn had already seen the state of that house (and the one before it), the other two hadn’t. I didn’t want them to see where I came from. I didn’t want them to see that side of myself.

But I agreed to it. And so all four of us piled into the car with boxes and a bunch of cleaning supplies and headed over to the house.

And it was okay. It was actually okay. I didn’t freak out, I didn’t have a depressive episode, and we actually managed to get almost everything cleared out in only 4 hours. We’re still gonna have to go back to grab some of my stuff…but we cleaned it. We cleaned the whole room.

I’m just…really in awe of all this love and support. That I have these people in my life who love me so much that they’ll cancel their plans so they can spend 4 hours helping me clean out a disgusting mold-filled room instead. Like…it’s honestly mind-blowing to me.

I’m so incredibly grateful.

[littlestspider]

Feelings update: I got some much needed hugs and kisses from the girlfriends + best friend and then I slept for almost 12 hours. I feel better today!