It was 3am when you woke up, a pain you’d never felt before was spreading through your lower back all the way to the front of your belly. You had half a mind to wake Adam up, but you chalked it up to just another pregnancy pain. After all, you were only twenty-five weeks along. You clambered out of bed, awkwardly at the cost of your growing belly, and you made your way down the hallway of your tiny apartment and into the kitchen for a glass of water.
And that’s when you felt it, an unfamiliar gush of liquid you couldn’t have mistaken for pee. There was way too much of it and the pain in your back was growing stronger. Hunched over slightly, reaching for your phone to call Adam. Before you could dial his contact, you saw his body- naked to the skin, rubbing his eyes as he stepped out of the hall, “come back to bed.” He murmured to you, voice laced with sleep.
“We need to go to the hospital.” Your voice was panicked and it woke him right up. “Something’s wrong, Adam.”
“Hey, it’s okay. Let me get dressed.” His words were rushed and so were his steps as he made his way back to your shared bedroom. He was back out, in his running shorts and a t-shirt, in ten seconds flat it seemed. Must’ve been the only things on the floor. “Come on, kid. I’ve got you.” He says, an arm around you to support your weight as you made your way to your car. You're lucky that New York’s nightlife was relatively mundane tonight.
-
They did everything they could to keep baby Sackler from meeting his mommy and daddy so soon, but everyone seemed to fail just as you started to hope it wouldn’t. Adam was sitting beside you, hand wrapped tightly around yours. “Everything’s going to be okay.” He whispered softly. Your birth was traumatic and you’d rather forget it. Your nerves were standing on end. You and Adam hadn’t gotten any clear indications of when you could visit.
You two didn’t know if you’d had a boy or a girl, you had no names picked out, and the doctor’s were too occupied in keeping your little one alive. Both you and Adam saw the top of a head before your baby was whisked away. But you hadn’t heard much else since.
Just as Adam kicked back in his seat, the door opened with a polite knock, “Sackler’s?” She asked softly. Adam replied with a nod of his head as he sat up. The nurse stepped in with a small smile, bringing in medication and holding a chart to her chest. “Unfortunately, we can’t let you go down, mama. Your blood pressure is still spiking.” she sighs as she takes yet another reading for the hour. “But dad, you’re all clear to go down. Congratulations on your little girl.”
Adam wasn’t sure how he held himself together, taking in every bit of information they had to tell him as he was covered in the appropriate ppe to visit his daughter. Adam Sackler had a daughter. He was sure she’d be as beautiful as you were. He could hardly contain how his heart felt the moment he laid eyes on her. Leaning over her incubator, he looked down at her. She was covered in equipment and tubes, but she was still the prettiest thing he’d ever laid eyes on.
He whispered a quiet hello. In the coming weeks he’d be able to hold her, see her smile, see her laugh. He’d get to pick out which features are his and which features were yours. “Look at you, as pretty as your mama.” His voice was light. “As strong as her too.” He whispers, moving to wipe his tears a bit. He just couldn’t help it. This was the first moment he’d actually been a dad.
-
You got to see Adam’s first time holding your daughter when she was thirty-two weeks. They explained the benefits of skin-to-skin with the two of you. You were smiling, insisting that Adam went first. He’d been talking about this for a week straight. As he built her furniture, you two threw names back and forth. You’d think you’d have one picked out after seven weeks of her life. But you didn’t. You two were calling her flower and rose petal and everything you could think of.
Here Adam was, stripping his torso of his shirt, smiling as you held the blanket for him to get comfortable in the chair. Your daughter was situated against his chest by the nurse and you got to drape the blanket over the two of them. His skin was hot, you could feel the heat radiating off of him and onto her. Nothing seemed to matter more than they did at that moment.
Adam’s hand splayed across her entire back over the blanket, his eyes welling up a bit. You teased him for crying and were met with, can’t help it, she’s so fucking beautiful. Which you agreed. She was. She looked more and more like Adam every day.
“Kid, we did such a good job.” He looked up from where your daughter was seated on his chest. “We did such a great job.”
“We did.” You smile at him, hands on your phone, through the plastic sheath, to snap a photo of Adam. You didn’t want to ever forget this moment.
-
The day you brought Rosalie Grace Sackler home, was one for the books. Adam couldn’t stand to drive, his little girl was all alone in the backseat. You just rolled your eyes and took the keys from him, telling him to get his ass in the back if he was that worried. So he did.
Adam carried her carrier up three floors to the apartment you two shared, once she was unbuckled and sitting on his hip, he showed her every single thing he could think of. Your wedding photos, the shadow box you’d made for her sister. Adam showed her the balcony and told her that you and him would sit out and watch the sunset together. And maybe that's where she was made, after her mama got a bit too wine drunk. You rolled your eyes as you watched them together.
The past few months of watching Adam become the father that he is, has warmed your heart. It’s helped you grow into the mother that you are. Rosalie would never know what not being loved felt like. Adam would make sure of it.
