All of us have an identity. It's what defines us, makes us, expresses who we are. Without identity, we are nothing. I recently thought about who I am and what my identity is. I never really think about myself in an outsider perspective, so when i actually took the time to reflect on it, I realized that i can only identify myself as a Mother. Everything i do revolves around my kids. I don't have a career to define me outside of motherhood. I don't have any special hobbies or talents that I'm known for. If you know me personally, then you'll understand that I am my children.
But the thing is, I am completely and utterly okay with that. I am content being defined strictly and solely as a Mother. I don't go out and have a good time with friends, I don't take a minute to myself to work out at a gym, nor do I even go on a date night with my Husband. Everything i do, everything i breathe is for my kids.
I have a lot of Mother friends whom i can say have an identity outside of their children, even the stay at home Moms like me. They have a personal life outside of their children. It seizes to amaze me in so many different levels. I'm not saying I'm more devoted to my children, but how anybody can manage the time or day to even have a personal life outside of Motherhood is beyond me. Maybe it's different for me though, I don't have the luxury of getting a babysitter anytime i want. It only happens are extremely rare occasions & when i am blessed with one, I'm to tired to even want to do anything except stay in and sleep.
I sound jealous don't I. Well that's not the case, I'm not. I love my life, although it's extremely unsettling at times. I love my identity. I love that somebody who knows me will look at me and the first thing they would say about me is that I'm a Mother without stating the obvious, because i truly AM a Mother. I live and breathe for my children & that will never change. I cater to everything and anything they need before myself. I suffer endless nights, skipping showers, forgetting to eat meals, because I'm to busy making sure those needs are met with them first. I may be exhausted, frazzled, not so pretty in the mirror, but it's all worth it in the end.
My identity is my children & I wouldn't have it any other way.
[ED/IT] - I guess you could say i'm starting a new identity for myself now. Since i'm rebirthing myself in the blogging community. Maybe i'll become famous. Who knows? ;)
