#glitzposting

[spontaneousglitterbees]

a multitude of things can be true at the same time

1) you can feel obligated to draw smth for 413 because tradition, in much the way one is obligated to visit family on holidays regardless of how ur doing

2) you can be utterly exhausted in life and have mixed feelings about hs at this point anyway

3) it is fully inconsequential whether you do anything or not but the allure of potentially having people see ur stuff bc its the 1 day a year you can post hs just because hs is real and you wrap yourself in fomo

look out mobile game companies I'm taking ur strategies and unsuccessfully applying them to make myself more productive. except not. bc long week finals next week feel sick oops.

[spontaneousglitterbees]

413 is coming but for some reason instead of being excited like I used to be or mildly amused more recently the mere thought just. exhausts me. like I want to have at least one pilotlight chapter in my quest to finish it already so I can move on but also. I am tired for many other reasons and something about what used to be a fun little 'make friendship bracelets' day feels bitter as aftertaste but also since last year just. upfront. it just kinda sucks to feel like this I guess. not a big deal, but kind of hurts a little to have unbridled joy become devoid of it idk

[spontaneousglitterbees]

I think I finally figured out why gratuitous swearing feels so cringey-

It's part 'I remember being younger and testing boundaries with swears as many young people tend to do, and I regret my past behavior with my current understanding', sure, but even that is a function of the Real Reason: curse words imply emotional investment, either on part of the speaker or implied to be a correct reaction from the audience. Like I was thinking about how my sister changes weird al's "Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me" and replaces 'crap' with 'shit' and how it sounds Incorrect. To say 'crap' implies dismissal, it's juvenile, it's not worth the effort and, at most, mildly irritating. If he were to say 'shit' in the original, it might imply he's genuinely upset and frustrated with the situation, even mad at the target, or otherwise that some emotional cost has been incurred. If someone sprinkles in a 'fuck' every other word, they arent actually intensifying anything, hence it feels like a misuse of the language

[spontaneousglitterbees]

okay but “stuck in a room” off bo burnhams inside isnt about quarantine for me, it’s just bo describing the death of my creative drive from adolescence to adulthood and it’s just. Oof.

[spontaneousglitterbees]

no but what did people think about hockey masks before Friday the 13th came out??

[spontaneousglitterbees]

uncertain if it is/isnt unreasonable to be disappointed in myself for not doing any fanart/writing for 413 like since last year id planned to and i finally have a bit of time but im fried man we might be shooting for a 6/12 to 10/25 continuum instead for pilotlight depends on how much more or less exhausting school is next year

[spontaneousglitterbees]

me: alright, time to do work

my brain, instantly: does the narrator say 'again' in I Write Sins Not Tragedies because he is actually a serial murderer and has contaminated the champagne he insists they pour under the guise of wanting to drown his sorrows, calming himself not by exclaiming that "It's better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality", but "poisoned rationality" which assures his twisted revenge on the entire wedding party? including those, as this is apparently not the first time this has happened and there are presumably more of them, seemingly incapable of closing a goddamn door?