#gncwlm

[finnu1223]

trope that annoys the everliving shit out of me:

when you have a tomboy character that predominantly wears boy clothes- and then changes up and wears a big fancy dress and makeup for prom/the big formal event

put her in a suit you cowards

[virago-sensuality]

when he asks for cuddles by snuggling up to you all cute and nestling his face into your neck, and so you hold him securely and give him a bunch of little kisses over the top of his head, and he makes cute little sounds after each one and does those cute little feet kicks because he KNOWS it’s your weakness and you won’t be able to hold back from pulling him closer to you and holding him even tighter and

[vili-vden]

Muscle mommy? You misunderstood. She's the muscle, he's the mommy.

[finnu1223]

something wild about watching the "men and women are not two different species, individuals should get to choose which gender roles they follow" feminism come back it fills me with hope and joy

for years i was told by feminists that my gender nonconformity, which i started showing at 3 years old, was me "emulating the patriarchy" out of internalized misogyny

at the same time, i was constantly told by both men and women that i was worthless and ugly because i wore mens clothes, because i didnt shave my legs, because i didnt wear makeup or style my hair like a girl or sit with my knees together or act demure and soft and gentle

anyway, "divine femininity" needs to die

[finnu1223]

i think, as a virago, i will always pledge my allegiance to the lesbians

to the butch lesbian literature that helped me realize i wasnt some freak of nature

to the femme lesbians who were the first to tell me that i was something handsome, that my hair and muscles and clothes didnt make me some hideous monster

to all the lesbians that taught me i didnt have to hate myself for defying societal expectations

i salute you, and will forever be in your debt. your survival is and has always been my survival

[finnu1223]

i think genuinely, if it had to list one of the worst things about being hetgnc its struggling to find resources about us. all of the hurt, the lifetime of pain, and to not have a name for it. theres a few scattered studies, a few vague historical resources, but it feels like no one is looking for us

i know theres history but i cant find it. i know theres others but i cant find them outside of here. i hope theres a future but its hard to see sometimes

theres no infrastructure or dating websites outside this tiny community, nobody wants to talk about us. most, regardless of identity or sexuality, regardless if theyre gay or straight or trans or cis, shut down the very idea

it feels like, any space i enter i am seen as a monster that makes no sense. i am told that both my gender identity and sexuality has to be wrong no matter what space i occupy, because no one ive met has ever seen or heard of anything like me

i think there must be more of us but they dont have the hope of community, they dont have the promise of lovers friends family that will accept them for who they are if they just get to that city

it could be there, it could be, but theres barely a word of it. i have to imagine it because no one has ever told me of this place or where i can find it

who would want to sacrifice their life like that, for no promises? who would want to lose family friends and lovers, to be their true selves, with no hope for relief? you have to make a bet and you have to hope its a damn good one because otherwise it drives you mad or kills you

i know i sound crazy and i think its because i am. ive had to be to choose this, and yet i couldnt choose anything else. i could never be anything else

all i know is i am here, and i still have hope in things ive never been promised

[finnu1223]

i think one of the worst things masculine women have to deal with is being accused of hating femininity because we aren't feminine

thats like saying i hate bread because im not a baker. like no dipshit I THINK IT ROCKS. I LOVE TO SEE IT. im just no good at it and i trust it in the hands of the professionals

[finnu1223]

i think in terms of the rr vs hetgnc discourse

inverting gender roles, especially to the extreme, is discriminated against in society. women who have high sex drives, short men, 100s of things outside of presentation- 100s of things that arent your clothes

i say this because i have failed so horribly at most feminine gender roles that even when i presented feminine, when i tried to fit the mold, everyone could see through it anyway. my body didnt fit the standards expected of me, neither did my soul or whatever youd call it. i chose to present how i wanted to bc hiding still led to constant abuse and ostracization- both of which got worse when i started being honest about who i was, but i at least felt comfortable in my own skin

i will say that external presentation, especially being visibly gender anti conforming, has a bigger impact on material resources and how vulnerable you are to being targeted by structural systems of power

however, we're all at different points in our journey. this community should be welcoming to everyone who genuinely fits the definition, even if they cant dress the way they want. i was lucky enough not to be kicked out of my home and denied housing for who i am, and others may not be so lucky

however if anyone tries to claim that princess peach x mario is a virago/mollis couple i will tear you apart like a pack of wolves. it might fit the basic definition of rr but it is not the same as what this community is trying to do