This is entirely thanks to @ruensroad who humored me a lot and gave me so many great ideas for the prompts of ‘Loyalty’ and ‘Honesty’ because I had zero ideas for this. But then along came a savior and gave me this wonderful inspiration!
When Jiang Cheng wakes up, nerves are already churning in his gut.
Today is the big day. The day the gods come down to earth to choose their disciples. It only happens once a year and only those who are eighteen are eligible to be chosen. If no god chooses you on this day then there won’t be a second chance.
Jiang Cheng knows that there is a chance Chifeng-zun will choose him; he is the god of war and rage and ever since Jiang Cheng was old enough to scowl there had been talk at Lotus Pier, how well he would fit with that.
But Jiang Cheng also knows that there is a bigger chance of no god choosing him at all.
It is his biggest fear, especially since Wei Wuxian would stand right by his side during the ceremony.
Jiang Cheng eyes Wei Wuxian who is getting ready right next to him and dread pools in his stomach. Wei Wuxian will probably be chosen by multiple gods and then a fight will break out amongst them. Somehow Jiang Cheng will get dragged into this, he will end up at the centre of it, and in the end the whole thing will reflect badly only on him.
His father will be quietly disappointed, his mother will be loudly furious and his sister will simply smile her kind smile at him, while tending to Wei Wuxian’s injuries and congratulation Wei Wuxian for being chosen.
It has happened before, and it will happen again, too, because Jiang Cheng never knows when to just let his brother dive headfirst into danger.
But the fact still remains; Wei Wuxian will get chosen despite the commotion he will no doubt cause and Jiang Cheng probably won’t, since he will cause too much trouble defending his brother.
“Are you excited?” Wei Wuxian suddenly asks him, bumping their shoulders together and Jiang Cheng scowls at him.
“What’s there to be excited about?” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “I’m not the one who will get chosen,” he quietly tacks on, but Wei Wuxian still seems to hear him, because the excited smile slides right off his lips.
“Of course you’ll get chosen,” Wei Wuxian tells him, with so much conviction in his voice that even Jiang Cheng almost believes it for a second. “You’ll get a wonderful god, you’ll see.”
“Right,” Jiang Cheng huffs out. “Because the god of war is such a wonderful prospect,” he bitterly tacks on and then chastises himself for it.
He really shouldn’t be badmouthing the gods on any day, but this day especially.
“He’s not so bad,” Wei Wuxian tries. “Remember last year? How he laughed so loudly it sounded like thunder claps? Clearly he’s not all rage,” Wei Wuxian tries and Jiang Cheng has to admit that Wei Wuxian might be right.
Chifeng-zun is not entirely bad, Jiang Cheng knows that, but even though he never allowed himself to think about which god he would choose if he had the choice, he knows that he wouldn’t go for Chifeng-zun.
“Come on, it will be fun!” Wei Wuxian jolts him out of his thoughts and drags him outside, where half of Lotus Pier is already waiting for them as it seems.
Jiang Cheng takes one last deep breath and then he follows his family.
~*~*~
The ceremony itself is boring. There’s a lot of talk, reminders of how the disciples should always be the most obedient and helpful for their gods, before the signal is fired off and the gods actually show up.
Jiang Cheng inwardly wonders why they get to skip all the boring parts but then he’s blinded by the first light announcing the arrival of the first god and he found out long ago that it’s just easier to keep his eyes closed until all of them have arrived.
The gods that show up on this day vary from year to year, but the big ones, the ones that are the most powerful, are always there.
Chifeng-zun of course, but Zewu-jun, Hanguang-jun and Lianfang-zun are always amongst them as well.
There is another exceedingly boring portion where each god gets greeted individually before all the disciples that are eligible this year are called forwards.
Jiang Cheng steps up right next to Wei Wuxian and while Wei Wuxian beams at the gods, Jiang Cheng can’t help but to lower his gaze and worry the hem of his robe.
If he doesn’t get chosen this year, he’ll bring dishonour on his family, and his mother will never forgive himself. If he doesn’t get chosen and Wei Wuxian does then his mother will expect him to forever hate Wei Wuxian for taking this opportunity away from him and Jiang Cheng knows that he never could.
Jiang Cheng desperately wishes this day was over already.
When it’s time for the first god to choose, a hush falls over the crowd. All eyes turn to Zewu-jun, because he always gets first choice, mostly because it’s been centuries since he took his last disciple.
No one knows what exactly he’s looking for, who he is waiting for, but so far he never took anyone with him.
He’s the god of loyalty and the capacity of self-sacrifice and Jiang Cheng supposes in this time and age it must be increasingly difficult to find a selfless person like that.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t care much for the gods, if he’s being honest, but there is always something lonely in the corner of Zewu-jun’s eyes, and Jiang Cheng finds himself hoping that this year he’ll find someone to keep him company.
Zewu-jun gets up from his seat, and everyone is waiting for the annual head-shake they got so accustomed to, but instead Zewu-jun leaves his place.
He must have found someone worthy enough.
There’s a beat of dead silence over the place, before an excited murmur goes through the crowd. There are speculations, Jiang Cheng can tell, but he keeps his eyes on the ground, hoping that this goes over fast.
Jiang Cheng only lifts his gaze when white shoes step into his line of sight and then don’t disappear again. Still, Jiang Cheng is slow to react until Wei Wuxian elbows him into the side and only then does Jiang Cheng lift his head.
Zewu-jun is standing directly in front of him, looking right at Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng swallows.
He wonders what he could have possibly done to upset this god—because this is the only possible explanation for his strange behaviour—and he falls into a deep bow.
“This disciple apologizes,” he gets out, acutely aware of all eyes on him and then he’s being lifted out of the bow by gentle hands.
“For what?” Zewu-jun asks him, and his voice is softer than Jiang Cheng imagined it to be.
“For—,” Jiang Cheng starts and then he helplessly works his jaw because he can’t think of anything to apologize for.
He doesn’t know what he did to upset Zewu-jun after all.
“For upsetting Zewu-jun,” he eventually carefully says and is completely taken off guard when Zewu-jun smiles at him.
“But you have done the opposite,” Zewu-jun tells him and his voice runs like a shiver down Jiang Cheng’s back. “You are delighting me.”
Jiang Cheng can almost feel how Wei Wuxian is vibrating out of his skin next to him, but Jiang Cheng feels strangely detached from himself.
“I’m what now?” he blurts out and when he hears a scandalized gasp from behind him, he slaps a hand over his mouth, his face burning with mortification.
“Xichen, you’re scaring the guy,” Chifeng-zun suddenly calls down to them, and Zewu-jun laughs lightly at that.
“That was not my intention,” Zewu-jun gives back over his shoulder and then actually slightly bows his head to Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng wants to die on the spot.
“I would choose you as my disciple,” Zewu-jun says, finally explaining what’s going on here, even though it barely does anything to make this situation more understandable.
“But you’re the god of undying loyalty and the willingness to sacrifice oneself,” Jiang Cheng blurts out, because this cannot be right.
“And you are the perfect disciple for me,” Zewu-jun gives back, endless patience in his voice and Jiang Cheng has to swallow at that.
He never dared to hope for anything like this, but standing here, in Zewu-jun’s gentle light; it already feels like he’s home.
“If you would have this unworthy disciple,” Jiang Cheng finally gets out, bowing low again like the custom demands, but he’s yet again stopped by a hand catching his wrist.
“There is nothing unworthy about you,” Zewu-jun assures him and then goes back to his seat.
He has made his choice.
Jiang Cheng isn’t sure he takes in anything past this point; he’s dimly aware that Wei Wuxian got chosen by Hanguang-jun, the god of everything that is right and the bearer of light, but apart from that the whole afternoon escapes Jiang Cheng.
He regains a bit of his senses when it comes the time to say goodbye to his family for now, for Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian won’t be allowed to return to the mortal plane for the first five years of their training, but even that mostly flows past him.
He only becomes aware of his surroundings again when it’s time to leave with Zewu-jun.
“Are you sure you’re not making a mistake?” Jiang Cheng can’t help but to ask Zewu-jun because he still has a hard time wrapping his head around this.
“Are you questioning my judgement?” Zewu-jun asks him, his voice mild, but Jiang Cheng still blanches.
“I am questioning my worthiness, Zewu-jun,” he quickly gives back and watches in awe as Zewu-jun’s face softens.
“I have waited a long time for someone like you, Wanyin,” Zewu-jun says as he cups Jiang Cheng’s face in his hand. “And my disciples call me Lan Xichen.”
Jiang Cheng swallows at that, because it’s a great honour to call a god by their old name and he can hardly believe that he’s already being granted that honour.
“Will you accompany me?” Lan Xichen asks him, his voice low and almost intimate. “Will you stay by my side?”
It is unheard of, that a god asks their chosen disciples for their opinion, and yet Jiang Cheng doesn’t doubt for a second that if he should say no, Lan Xichen would let him go without a word.
Jiang Cheng looks at this god in front of him—his god, should he choose so—and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what he’s doing but he’s slightly raising up on the tip of his toes, reaching out to cup Lan Xichen’s face in his hand in turn.
He sees how Lan Xichen’s eyes go wide, but how they stay soft and gentle, and Jiang Cheng nods.
“I will stay with you” Jiang Cheng promises his god—means it with everything that he is—and is stunned, when Lan Xichen briefly leans into his hand.
“Let’s go home, then,” Lan Xichen says and takes Jiang Cheng’s hand in his own, to safely guide him up into heaven and into their new home.
This is somewhat of a sequel to Worthy of a god. Please do not ask me about the plot/backstory here, cause I’m just the author. I don’t know.
Edit: It turns out I do in fact know, because you can find what happens before this in my BeeTober Day 3 fic.
Jiang Cheng wakes up with a hole in his chest. He feels empty—like something that is vital to him has been carved out—and he definitely didn’t feel that way when he went to bed.
But it’s still the middle of the night, and Jiang Cheng is not completely awake, so he puts it off as the remnant of a dream.
It’s still harder than it should be to fall back asleep again.
~*~*~
A few nights later Jiang Cheng wakes up with tears streaming down his face.
He doesn’t quite remember what he was dreaming of, only that there was a man, bathed in light, but whenever he tries to remember more, his memory fails him.
This time, he’s almost eager to go back to sleep, if simply so he can find out what this is all about.
~*~*~
It doesn’t get better.
The hole in his chest threatens to consume him whole some days and Jiang Cheng doesn’t even know what’s happening.
He just knows he’s missing something—someone—but he can’t put his finger on it.
“You look like shit,” Wei Wuxian tells him when he comes home one day and Jiang Cheng glares at him.
“You have nightmares like this every night and we’ll see how you look,” Jiang Cheng gives back, but he cringes at the word nightmare.
It’s not right. It’s not what this is.
“Nightmares? What do you dream about?” Wei Wuxian wants to know but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.
“I already have to dream about it, do you really think I want to talk about it, too?” Jiang Cheng tells him, but that isn’t true either.
It just—it doesn’t feel right, to tell Wei Wuxian about his dreams.
They are his. They are not to share.
Wei Wuxian thankfully doesn’t mention the frown on Jiang Cheng’s face at his own strange thoughts.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng doesn’t know why he suddenly knows this, but the person he’s dreaming about—he’s a god.
It doesn’t make sense, not at all, but he is, Jiang Cheng is sure about that.
He doesn’t know which god or why he’s dreaming about him, but Jiang Cheng is more than certain that he’s also the reason for this hollow feeling in his chest.
“What do you know about gods?” Jiang Cheng asks Wei Wuxian one evening when they are both more paying attention to their phones than what’s running on the TV and Wei Wuxian looks at him as if he lost his mind.
“You mean the old ones?” Wei Wuxian asks and then shrugs. “They are dead.”
“The old ones,” Jiang Cheng repeats slowly and then frowns. “Why are there no new ones?” he wants to know. “Did you ever wonder about that?”
“What is there to wonder about? The old ones died and no one took their place. We don’t need any gods.”
It’s what Jiang Cheng learned in school too, it’s what they all learn in school; the old gods are dead, long live the freedom to believe what you want.
It doesn’t sit right with Jiang Cheng, not anymore.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng still wakes up crying more nights than not. The dream doesn’t get any clearer; he can barely see the man in front of him. He’s still bathed in light, more radiant than anything Jiang Cheng has ever seen, but by now Jiang Cheng also knows that he’s lonely, so lonely.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if he’s crying after these dreams because the man is so sad, or because Jiang Cheng wants to soothe him him so bad it physically hurts him that he can’t.
He’s not sure he wants to find out.
~*~*~
By the time another month rolls around, Jiang Cheng dreams about the man every night. It’s exhausting and Jiang Cheng is sick of feeling sad.
He wants to scream at the man to leave him alone, but he finds he can’t muster the necessary anger for that. In the end, all he really wants to do is hug him and tell him it will be alright.
It doesn’t make any sense.
So in order to have it make some sense, Jiang Cheng starts to research. There is not much to find about religion and gods in the local library, nor in the university's library, but Jiang Cheng takes every book home with him that talks about the gods, even if it’s just in passing.
He piles his room with them, and it isn’t long before they migrate to the living-room as well.
Jiang Cheng is almost reading non-stop now. He needs answers.
But that also means that Wei Wuxian takes notice of his little project.
“What are you doing?” he asks, as he suspiciously eyes the nearest book. “Is this for a report?”
Jiang Cheng is tempted to lie to him—again—but in the end, he can’t bring himself to do it. He can’t lie about his god.
“No,” he admits. “I’m looking for someone.”
“Someone,” Wei Wuxian slowly repeats, his eyes still on the books. “And you’re reading these books because—?”
“I think that someone is a god,” Jiang Cheng says out loud, for the first time since the dreams started, and he’s surprised to find how right it feels.
“Do you have a fever?” Wei Wuxian asks and comes closer to put his hands to Jiang Cheng’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Stop that,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and smacks his hand away. “I am. Do you remember the nightmares I told you about?”
“Are you still having them? Jiang Cheng, it’s been months since then.”
“And they are not nightmares,” Jiang Cheng says. “They are not even dreams, I think. But I need to find the man I’m dreaming about.”
“You’re dreaming about a man,” Wei Wuxian repeats and just by the tone of his voice Jiang Cheng can tell that he’s not going to like what’s coming next. “Did it ever occur to you that you might have a crush you’re dreaming about?”
“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng hisses but Wei Wuxian only laughs.
“I know it’s unlikely but it would certainly be more believable than you dreaming about a god. There are no gods, Jiang Cheng. They all died in the war.”
“But that’s just it,” Jiang Cheng starts and points at the books. “All these books, they talk about ‘the war’. None of them specify. None tell us what happened, who fought or why. A war leaves traces, bodies, ruins. And yet there is nothing.”
“It’s a war of the gods. Of course there would be no traces one earth.”
“And especially because of that there should be traces on earth. If the gods are as powerful as the world makes us believe then there should be traces all around. And even if not; who survived the war? There must have been a winner. Why did no one move to the heavens afterwards?”
“They probably got destroyed. Jiang Cheng, you’re talking non-sense. I don’t know what has gotten into you.”
Jiang Cheng opens his mouth to tell him exactly what has gotten into him, but he can’t find the words.
He doesn’t know how to describe the feeling he gets every time he dreams about the god. About the hole in his chest, about the feeling of missing someone so badly it leaves Jiang Cheng breathless and yearning and in pain from the simple absence of that someone.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to make Wei Wuxian understand, so he doesn’t say anything.
“You should go back to concentrating on your studies,” Wei Wuxian advises him and Jiang Cheng simply nods.
If he agrees, Wei Wuxian will leave him alone and Jiang Cheng will have more time to further research the topic.
~*~*~
The books are no help. They are vague and generic in their descriptions, almost repetitive as if someone had copy/pasted the same paragraph into every book: there used to be gods. There was a war. The old gods are dead.
Jiang Cheng is losing his mind, the hole in his chest getting bigger almost every day, and he knows—he knows—it’s because he’s missing his god just as much as his god is missing him.
He needs more resources, that much is clear. Just as clear as it is that he won’t find them here.
Jiang Cheng already did some research, he knows there are other libraries out there he could consult, but none of them are willing to send their books halfway across the world, so his only option is to go to them.
And he will.
Jiang Cheng is just packing his back when Wei Wuxian comes into his room.
“What are you doing?” he asks, stuck in the doorway by his surprise and Jiang Cheng doesn’t even spare a glance for him.
“Packing,” he gives back, even though it should be more than obvious what he’s doing.
“Where are you going?” Wei Wuxian asks next and Jiang Cheng knows he won’t understand, he didn’t understand the last times and he certainly won’t now, but he still tries to explain.
“I have to find other sources, other books. These,” he says and points at the disappointing stack on his desk, “are not enough. They don’t have the answers I need.”
There’s a beat of silence where Wei Wuxian simply stares at him as if he lost his marbles but then he finds his voice again.
“There are no answers, Jiang Cheng! The old gods are dead!” Wei Wuxian almost yells at him as if that will make him understand, and Jiang Cheng has had enough.
“They are forgotten!” he yells back, because of that he is sure by now.
They cannot be dead, because if they are dead then Jiang Cheng is stuck with this feeling for forever and he’s not sure he can survive it. He can barely breathe with the simple thought of him being dead. It cannot be. It’s not true.
He needs to find his god.
“They are not dead, they can’t be,” Jiang Cheng repeats, much quieter this time, almost breathless with the pain in his chest. “I know it, right here,” he says and puts his hand over his heart.
“Jiang Cheng, this is insane,” Wei Wuxian tries again. “What are you going to do? You can’t just leave.”
“But I am,” Jiang Cheng gives back, because he is.
Nothing else matters.
“What?” Wei Wuxian asks, clearly surprised by Jiang Cheng’s answer, but Jiang Cheng barely pays him attention, until Wei Wuxian wraps his hand around his wrist.
“Jiang Cheng, be serious. You can’t just sacrifice everything you worked for. The university is going to kick you out. What are your parents going to say?”
“I don’t care,” Jiang Cheng tells him, looking straight at him to let him know he means it. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t like business anyway, you know that,” he tries to make light of the situation, but Wei Wuxian doesn’t even react to that.
“You don’t know what it’s like,” Jiang Cheng tries next and then the words just tumble out of his mouth. “I miss him, I miss him so much, and I don’t even know him. He’s my god, he is, I know it, but I’m also his and I have to find him.”
“Jiang Cheng, he’s not real,” Wei Wuxian whispers, but Jiang Cheng furiously shakes his head, tears pricking at his eyes.
“He is. He is just forgotten. And I will remember him. I will,” he decidedly says, because someone has to.
“Jiang Cheng, you can’t do this,” Wei Wuxian says again, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t listen to him anymore.
The need to find his god is burning him, is urging him to move, and so Jiang Cheng does.
It isn’t until Jiang Cheng turns around, his bag on his back, that he sees Jiang Yanli in the door.
He throws a glare at Wei Wuxian, because of course he called her, but Wei Wuxian simply holds his gaze.
“Shijie, he’s going to leave. He’s going to sacrifice everything for something that isn’t even real.”
Jiang Cheng works his jaw, because his god is real, he knows it, and Jiang Yanli smiles at him.
“A-Cheng, what are you doing?” she asks, voice as reasonable as ever, and Jiang Cheng has to fight the urge to cry.
“I have to find him, A-jie. I’m his. I’m his and I need to get back to him, I need to remember him, I can’t live with this—this hollow feeling inside of me. It’s going to eat me alive.”
“Shijie,” Wei Wuxian starts again, but Jiang Yanli puts a hand on his arm.
“A-Xian, be quiet,” she orders him and then steps closer to Jiang Cheng. “A-Cheng, the old gods are dead,” she tells him and Jiang Cheng fears his desperation will drown him.
“They are forgotten,” he says past the lump in his throat and he furiously wipes away the tears that stream down his face but he lacks the energy to repeat everything he said to Wei Wuxian earlier.
“Please, A-jie,” Jiang Cheng begs instead and he feels like he can’t breathe until Jiang Yanli nods.
“Alright,” she says, just as Wei Wuxian makes a startled noise.
“Shijie, you can’t let him ruin his life like this!”
“A-Xian, we’re going to let him go. He needs to do this,” Jiang Yanli tells him and Jiang Cheng is so thankful for her, he wants to cry again.
“Thank you,” he whispers and Jiang Yanli turns back around to him.
“How long will you be gone?” she asks him and Jiang Cheng straightens up.
“As long as I need to find him,” he gives back, because he will not stop.
Not before he knows his god.
“I pulled my money from my bank account, so I can survive for a while,” he says and they all know he means a very long while.
“Stay in contact with us. If you need anything else, you let us know,” Jiang Yanli decides and then pulls him into a hug.
“I hope you find him,” she mumbles and Jiang Cheng knows she doesn’t understand—how could she, without feeling like he does—so this is the best he can hope for.
He squeezes her tight, before he turns to Wei Wuxian.
“I still think you’re being stupid,” Wei Wuxian declares, but he pulls him into a hug too. “Be safe,” he asks of him and Jiang Cheng nods.
“I will be,” he gives back and then he leaves his old life behind.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng travels the world. He starts with the bigger libraries, with those that already told him they have books on the matter, but he barely finds any new information. All of the book repeat what he already knows, so after a few weeks Jiang Cheng starts looks for obscure libraries and bookstores.
He runs out of money very soon, because especially the bookstores are expensive, but his siblings keep sending him money so he manages somehow.
He follows every lead he gets, every little hint he finds, and it brings him to the most remote places, but even after a year, there is nothing.
He learned nothing new. He still doesn’t have a name for his god; he still doesn’t have a clue what happened to him or where he could find him.
And yet Jiang Cheng dreams about his god every night and every night the hole in his chest gets bigger and bigger.
His god is lonely and Jiang Cheng needs to find him.
So he goes on and on, always alone, always plagued by the knowledge that he is failing his god, but he persists.
Jiang Cheng’s newest lead brings him to another remote village—and by now they all look the same to him—but something about this feels differently.
There is a small library in this village, almost dusted over, and it takes Jiang Cheng the better part of a week to sift through everything.
There are more books that mention the old gods than in any other library he has found so far, but they are still vague.
Vague enough to make Jiang Cheng almost tear them apart.
“Kid, what are you even looking for?” the librarian asks him on his fourth day and Jiang Cheng closes his eyes.
He can’t explain this again. Every time it does the urgency in him grows and it hurts—it hurts—to talk about his elusive god but then he straightens up.
“I’m looking for the old gods,” he finally tells the librarian.
“They are—”
“Dead, yes, I fucking know,” Jiang Cheng spits out, and the words turn to ash on his tongue, threaten to choke him.
They cannot be dead.
“You know, kid, there’s a temple somewhere on his mountain,” a frail voice suddenly says from the doorway and when Jiang Cheng whirls around he finds the oldest human being he has ever laid eyes on.
“Grandma, don’t feed those ridiculous tales to an impressionable young man,” the librarian chides her, but Jiang Cheng isn’t listening to him anymore.
“A temple?” he asks and he follows the grandma without hesitation when she leaves the library.
“No one has found it yet, and no one knows what the people in there would be doing.”
“But,” Jiang Cheng prompts her, because he senses that there is more.
“But every month this donkey comes out of its shed to be burdened with enough supplies to last for a month before it walks up the mountain by itself. And every month it comes back a day later, without the supplies.”
Jiang Cheng eyes the donkey in surprise.
“This donkey? It doesn’t look like much,” he mutters and the grandma gives him a toothless smile.
“It never comes out during any other time in the month. And yet here it is,” she says and Jiang Cheng freezes.
The donkey looks at him and Jiang Cheng suddenly knows that it’s here for him.
“Kid, don’t listen to her. She’s senile,” the librarian tries again, but Jiang Cheng is already bowing to the grandma.
“Thank you so much,” he chokes out, because he knows this is it.
He can feel it.
He’s going to find his god.
“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” the grandma tells him with a kind smile and then hobbles away.
“Don’t do this, kid. People die on this mountain all the time.”
“But not me,” Jiang Cheng says with conviction. “Someone is waiting for me, I can’t die,” he decides and then steps closer to the donkey.
The donkey looks at him for a long moment, but finally it starts to walk, and Jiang Cheng follows it without hesitation.
He’s so close already.
~*~*~
The donkey is a little bastard, Jiang Cheng decides as he bandages his still bleeding hand, but it also lead him right to the entrance of the temple, so really, Jiang Cheng can’t complain.
His feet are glued to the ground for the longest moment, because this is the best lead Jiang Cheng has gotten in the past year and something in his gut tells him that if this doesn’t pan out, he can go back home.
If this doesn’t pan out then there is nothing more for him to do.
Jiang Cheng takes one last deep breath before he enters the temple.
There are people milling around, some just standing like they forgot how to move, and Jiang Cheng quickly moves past them, never looking too long at them, only making sure they are not who he is looking for.
It’s only when he turns around the second corner that he notices that all of them are pointing in the same direction.
Jiang Cheng blinks a few times, but then his feet start to carry him along faster and faster, until he is running through the temple, always following the pointed fingers down streets and alleyways, deeper and deeper into it.
He comes to a sudden stop in front of a corner but he knows—he feels—that this is it.
Jiang Cheng just has to round that last corner and he will find what he was looking for all this time.
A very small part of him calls him stupid for believing that, but he’s burning with certainty, he knows it deep in his bones, and it’s that what finally allows him to move again.
He turns around the corner and stops dead in his tracks when he sees a man—his god—walking down the street.
He’s wearing his familiar white mourning robes, adorned with blue, and his forehead ribbon is pristine as usual.
Jiang Cheng distantly wonders how he suddenly knows that, but then his god turns around and sees him, the flute he’s carrying dropping to the ground, and every thought flees Jiang Cheng’s mind.
“Jiang Cheng,” his god says and Jiang Cheng feels alive for the first time since the dreams started. “Jiang Cheng,” his god repeats and Jiang Cheng walks up to him, for once in his life calm and at ease.
His god doesn’t take his eyes off him, tracks every step he takes, and soon enough Jiang Cheng is stranding right in front of him.
“Jiang Cheng,” his god says again and Jiang Cheng is surprised to see that the hand he’s raising is trembling.
His god cups his cheek in his hand and Jiang Cheng leans into the contact like a starving man. He allows his god to guide their foreheads together and he feels it more than he hears it when his god mumbles “You’re here.”
And suddenly it all comes back to Jiang Cheng; how Lan Xichen chose him, how they spend years, decades, centuries together and Jiang Cheng loves him so much it takes his breath away.
“Lan Xichen,” he whispers when he finds his voice again. “I found you.”
