Diary #1 - my manifestation woes & solutions
honestly sort of making my own thing as far as how i manifest because a lot of people online either take goddard completely off the rails or are just saying a whole lot of nothing, going on for paragraphs but not really saying much. i have changed the way i manifest and the movement is so strong and fast. my old self was not fully understanding and was not fully accepting.
before, i was persisting and affirming but i didn't have as good of a self concept as i thought i did. the reason i wasn't getting manifestations in the way i wanted was because i deep down believed that those things just weren't possible for someone like me, for multiple reasons.
i didn't believe i was the operant power in a real way. i just kept saying it to myself. i kept getting confused as to why people were saying things like that i needed to completely detach from my desire and stop thinking about it. why would i desire or even try to manifest something i don't give a fuck about? that makes no sense.
now i see a different type of detachment, such as the sun. the sun rises every day, as it has my entire life, and everyone else's entire lives, and we don't think twice about it. we just know the sun will come up tomorrow. it's just the way things are, because of the way our very universe is structured. it is the same with detachment and being the operant power. show me where in any religious text it says god or the gods affirmed 10k times that there would be light. it just isn't about robotic repetition until you see results. you have to be in the state deep down instead of worrying about 5,000 methods and "breaking the rules", because there literally are no rules when god is in you.
i let my worries and stresses get the best of me because i truly believed that, no matter how hard i tried or what i did, it just wouldn't happen. or would be instantly ripped away the second i got a taste of my manifestation in the 3D. because that's what had happened my entire life. no matter what method i followed or how long i stayed in the fulfilled state, it just led to psychosis because the manifestation would never show up, or would show up perverted and twisted into an abomination, or would get millimeters away from me and then explode into nothing. like the bunnies in mona awad's novel, bunny. every plan, place, job, goal etc i wanted to achieve just fell apart no matter what i did. i followed literal hundreds of different people's different advice over a decade and it did nothing but make my life worse.
and that was because i was too busy trusting other people about how to manifest and what manifestation even is. i didn't even like the word manifestation because it just reminded me of manifest destiny: a "god given right" to terrorize and ruin millions of innocent lives and turn the earth into a stinking pit. which is coming soon, by the way. there's not much time left. no amount of manifesting is gonna save us from going extinct. sorry. there's not enough of us who actually care to save that.
now the reason i have been getting so much movement and so much more power is because i let go of all my hangups and doubts. i had to go through severe psychosis and almost ruined my entire life because i had to transform, my old self had tried hundreds of belief systems/religions/faiths/practices and nothing was working. that's when i realized the connection between all religions and faiths, that god is within us. sounds simple, goddard says it all the time. but i only understood it on a surface logic level. not on a deep level. because nothing ever worked out for me. i couldn't put full faith into something that i had 0 guarantee would ever work out for me.
i'm just supposed to believe a bunch of random people on the internet, who 99% of the time have no proof and no testimonials, who make a living off this type of content? of course they're going to sell me anything that makes my deep pain, hurt, loss, grief etc feel better.
honestly in my opinion most manifestation advice sounds like either 1. a way to grift people out of money
2. a way to trick people using psychological manipulation into no longer pursuing any of their desires, by tricking them into HAVING to work on themselves so that way when their desires never come, they didn't even care because they worked on their shit poor self esteem enough to give up on all previous desires, and keep doing this in a cycle until they just give up on manifestation entirely because they're so content in themselves they don't care to have any goals for it, a way to trick people into giving up with extra steps.
i want to write more about how i perceive the idea of creation, which i prefer more to manifestation, and how i perceive persisting, affirming, wavering, old story, new story, all of those trendy buzzwords that every creator says something WILDLY different about.
the amount of manifestation content online is so overwhelming and confusing, especially when so many content creators sell law of attraction as law of assumption, or vice versa, or mix them together, or misquote people, or make up whatever they feel like about it and expect other people to be able to get it, when they're really just sort of using word salad with buzzwords in it for views and attention.
i kind of want to create a guide or tips or something, but the truth is just because something works for me doesn't mean that's what will work for you. you are the god, you have to find out what works for you. if you like scripting, revising, sleep tapes, subliminals, whatever it is, doesn't mean other people will or vice versa.
i guess it will mostly be just me journaling about my ideas and sharing it, and if it helps others then that's great, and if it doesn't resonate with you then you don't have to care about it. it really is that simple.