Are you still doing free readings? If you are here is my question: Will what is awakening in me make me more of an outsider than I already am? (If you are not, thank you anyway and take care.)
The short answer is yes, somewhat, but it's for a purpose.
The cards indicate that there's a presence in your life that is somewhat disapproving of the situation in question. This presence is a stern, judgmental, and/or rigid mindview that may either be internal or actually present in someone in your life. Based on the other cards, it may actually be both, in differing ways. This presence is, bluntly, the power of conformity, rules, and expectations.
You're ambivalent about this awakening, in the traditional sense - you're being strongly and equally pulled in opposing directions, one side is your ideal self and potentiality, the other is the restricting and dampening world of obligations, drudgery and repression of your wild nature. You cannot fully escape obligations and necessary survival/every day life, but nor should you let them. You must control both. The dance of survival is not the be all and end all of life, but the sacred dance cannot exist unless you have a solid footing in the survival dance.
It is likely that continuing in this direction will lead you to necessarily leave behind things that no longer serve a purpose in your life, or may even be actively hindering you. Some of these may be easy, others may feel like the world is falling apart, but you need to leave the safety and comfort of the walls to explore all that the world has to offer.