#goddessvision

[goddesscru]

Your friendly neighborhood Goddess of Light this morning after yesterday’s wisdom tooth extraction. My cheek still hurts. Lol

[goddesscru]

You know who it is, baby! *Jadakiss laugh*

[goddesscru]

#GoddessVision: Guess who’s back? And highkey fine as hell. #ItMe #IAmShowingMyselfLove #Adidas https://www.instagram.com/p/B3fFW2chtKt/?igshid=13owjgidwjub3

[goddesscru]

#GoddessVision: Today’s reminder... I’m getting back up after being down so long. #GettingBackInMyBag #ReturnOfTheOldMe https://www.instagram.com/p/BxmbaL4hoVp/?igshid=1fhudglat2f7t

[goddesscru]

#TBT I guess this counts, right? Last year I was pregnant around this time. This year, I'm #ChunksMom. Life comes at you fast. We cute, though, lol. 😂😂😂 #MyLifeWithChunk #GoddessVision

[goddesscru]

#GoddessVision: One of my favorite pictures of us. #MyLifeWithChunk #JustTheTwoOfUs #ChunksMom

[goddesscru]

#GoddessVision: Man, I sucked at taking pictures of me, lol. How times have changed, and for the better. Hell yeah; I've changed from the person I was back then. Anyone who hasn't changed in seven years is either lying for likes or they're a lost cause. It's not always about changing with others or even for them. I've changed because I've grown; being proud to admit you haven't sounds fucking stupid. Where I am now is on the way to where I want to be. Hell, who I am now, is closer to who I want to be, for myself and for my son. We're changing everyday; we just aren't deciding to be new people or people we aren't. #MyLifeWithChunk #MommaIMadeIt #LookAtMeNow #ThisWhatTheKidsCallTransformationTuesdayOrNah

[goddesscru]

#GoddessVision: Story time, folks. This is not a gratuitous picture of my face; I promise, lol. A year ago today, I took the picture on the left. The look on my face summarized my life, for everything I was experiencing. I was nearly three months pregnant, still grieving the loss of my Momma, perpetually mad at the world, and fiercely protective over the child who was depending on me to get us through. I had a lot of doubts and I held a lot of fear. I was scared and angry at myself. And angry at damned near everybody else. Anybody who knows me knows last year wasn't a walk in the park, by any means. There's a lot to be said about how much anger I lived with at this time, and how none of it pushed me all the way over the edge or endangered Chunk or myself during my pregnancy. I made it through some hard times; who knew more (those dirty bitches) were waiting in the wings? My son's first ultrasound images were getting me through; the hope that I could do what felt impossible was the thought to which I was clinging. I had to press pause on my depression and miscellaneous bullshit to focus on what mattered. Eventually, it wasn't important enough for me to ever pick it back up, and with a lot of (ongoing) work, I just moved away from it entirely. Fast forward to the picture on the right. That's me this morning after dropping my beloved Chunk off at daycare, cleaning up a little bit and wearing my black on black Run The Jewels sweatshirt. (With my trying to bring the 90s back ass, lol.) And a glorious, genuine SMILE! Honestly, I'm happy again. Much of last year felt like a punishment, in many ways. I now know better than to believe that. I was missing out on my joy, when it was right there with me. I ruined being able to enjoy my pregnancy by worrying about motherfuckers who didn't matter and weren't going to be there anydamnway. I can't get that time back, but I know what it took to get to such a place, and I'm never trying to go back. That's why I enjoy every minute with my son. He came out perfectly, and I came out changed, but better for it. I'm just so thankful. Peace, Hip Hop & Purple Rain. #Me #ChunksMom #MommaIMadeIt