"this obsession that is has to be jon or gendry who love sansa doesnt make sense to me" i think this obsession is born from the fact that there are very few decent and handsome men of Sansa's age around lol - at least none that i can remember. people have also paired her with dickon tarly and podrick, which i admit are nice options.
I do think that’s a huge contributing factor to this. Just look at Sansa’s paired canon love interest:
Tyrion - A much older man she was forced into a marriage with WHILE his family’s political prisoner. A family that executed her father and killed her mother and brother.
Sandor - A much old man who is cruel, rude, and abusive. One of the “romantic” scenes between her and him is literally him holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to sing as she cries and then blacks out, and she was so traumatized her brain changed the encounter to him kissing her.
Petyr - A much older man and pedophile grooming her to be his child bride. Also emotionally manipulative and abusive, he consistently gaslights her. And is responsible for manipulating the events that killed both her parents.
Joffrey - Physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive. Is always 3 seconds away from killing Sansa at any given moment.
Ramsay - Her rapist. Abuser. Absolute monster.
I don’t have much sympathy for people shipping Sansa and Gendry because that’s just…. kinda spiteful IMO since Gendry is blatantly Arya’s love interest.
That being said I do have a lot of sympathy for people who ship Jonsa. Imaging watching 6 seasons of men just being the ABSOLUTE worse to Sansa, and then Jon shows up and he treats her with dignity and respect, he protects her, he never sexualizes her or takes advantage of her, and he’s just overall selflessly kind to her. Then adding on the factors that he’s biologically her cousin (which in ASOIAF isn’t even really considered incest) and they weren’t close as children so they don’t extremely view one another as “brother and sister” like Jon might see Arya, Robb or Bran… I understand where the shipping logic lies in that.
Sansa stans have almost no viable options for her that aren’t blatantly pedophilic with abusive undertones. Maybe Margaery but Sansa has now been permanently torn from her, they likely won’t meet again, and it’s unlikely GRRM was ever writing them as love interests to begin with.
I get it. I don’t ship it myself but I’m not about to sit here on a high horse and act like I don’t understand why other people DO. Like you said it’s the same logic of shipping her with Podrick or Dickon. “Wow, two appropriate men in her general vicinity who wouldn’t rape her”. That’s the qualifications we be looking for on resumes now.
Honestly on a random side note Podsa would have been SO ABSOLUTELY CUTE and wouldn’t have even been absurd or unreasonable. Pod is from a noble house, he’s a knight, and he was Brienne’s squire so he spent a lot of time around Sansa. It could have made a lot of sense for them to come together in some capacity. Also at least in show-verse I think Theon was a genuine contender for love interest. I do feel his last few episodes alive they writers were heavy-handed with the romantic undertones with Theonsa, and they weren’t afraid to go there because they knew Theon was gonna die so they didn’t need to worry about “well what if Sansa wanted to marry him”, because they took away her choice.
It just kinda fucking sucks Sansa ended the series completely alone when she coulda have Pod or Theon by her side. I’ve definitely talked myself into a circle here and lost sight of what the point was.