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@gotabigdiego replied to your post “hit @ on your keyboard, and then play FMK with the...”:
[User is presently unable to see this, but will later be offended on principle that the hacking is preventing him from even a hypothetically good time. The hacker remains cautious about Baz and shan’t be touching this.]
[user remains oblivious to everything and everyone on planet earth.]
[Cash App notification from a Brooklyn-based nonprofit that Diego will absolutely be paying back, with interest, for this avoidable mistake.]
“$4200.69 for research. Happy to help!”
[user is thrilled by this new anonymous benefactor and wonders what they are meant to be researching. they decide to research designer clothing stores in their area. they also determine that this money is from someone who'd like to be their sugar daddy! they expect more anonymous donations in the future.]
@gotabigdiego replied to your post “ALERT!!! ALERT!!! SOMEONE may be using your...”:
ABSOLUTELY!!! Our number is 888-420-6969. Or we can call you!!! We have operators standing by 24/7/365 to deal with any and all such claims of identity theft, ESPECIALLY the ones by OLD LADIES WHO NEED ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET!!!!!
Oh!!! Oh!!! Please call me, user gotabigdiego!!! I would love to be called!!! I want my identity so very protected!!! I have had it for nine decades of my life!!! I am so afraid of losing it, user gotabigdiego!!! Please help me!!!
[user types a number at random. it's xóchitl's.]
ALERT!!! ALERT!!! SOMEONE may be using your IDENTITY online. EIGHT accounts were found using your face and someone else's NAME. ALERT!!! Call NOW to speak WITH a REPRESENTATIVE about your legal options to stop the theft before YOUR IDENTITY is STOLEN forever!!!
You might have it a bit backwards there, love.
Egads!!! Not my identity!
Oh, user gotabigdiego, say it's not so!!!!!! I would love to call your clearly very legitimate legal line!!!! Please, walk me through how to do so!!!!! You'll have to be ever so patient with me, of course. I've just turned ninety-three, and I'm a bit rusty on internet usage!!!
@gotabigdiego replied to your post “[text] Help.”:
[text] No [d] dangerous [/d] danger. Computer LOL @ me. Hack?
[text] Oh, right, okay! What specifically is hacked? Do you still have access to your email?
