#gothamdad

[maximummusesarch]

@gothamdad​

“You know that Gotham’s contingent of criminal miscreants are going to immediately detect that it’s not really you under the cowl, father, yes?  Even if I perfectly mimic your voice, how long will it take for someone to notice that Batman is shorter than normal?”

[adentincrime]

“Hnn... OUR ears just started burnin’ all of a sudden...”

[cainraised]

@gothamdad​ said: "Which one of your brothers did it? I know this wasn’t you, Cass."

          he’s reaching. the WORLD’S GREATEST DETECTIVE is reaching, and cass is just here to eat her candy bar and watch the show unfold. one of bruce’s children made the conscious choice to fill the batmobile with  g l i t t e r. it may have been cass, it may have been any of her brothers, it may even have been ALL OF THEM combined ! but there’s no way cass is gonna break. 

          unless, of course, her father comes up with a worthy enough bribe for her to SPILL THE BEANS...

[archaievist]

"And what way do you think I'm showing it?"

“You keep sending them to this hell hole! Have you worked in this place? Because I do. They aren’t getting help here! If you really cared you would actually get them help instead of beating the shit out of them and throwing them in here where the only thing they are met with is cruelty and at best indifference.”

“Many of these people I consider family. Hell I’m dating one of them! Don’t you claim to care if you don’t see how terrible this place is. You want to help? Fix this place or find something better.”

[redsleuthed]

@gothamdad​ | birthday starter

          Nothing like patrolling alone in Gotham, Robin-ing in his own Robinesque way. Nothing like waiting for the gunmen to reload before he could spring into action. At least it was something he expected than sprinting into some superpowered freak at midnight. Tim was tired of explaining all his bruises to his dad, if he asked at all that is.... Yikes!-- He was so lost in thought, he was late to notice how eerily quiet his surroundings became. He peered over the corner, into the darkness. 

           WEIRD.... the darkness had a pair of eyes----!!!!

           Tim let out a yelp that echoed off the walls, as he jumped away, nearly tripping over himself. Tim gulped, as he placed his hands on his knees, suddenly feeling faint. He panted for a few seconds, before letting out a frustrated grunt.

          ❝ You REALLY have to stop doing that. ❞

[archived-brokentoys]

Batman is just smirking in the background

FUCK

OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nightswar]

@gothamdad​ SAID :  " why have my kids started calling me the lame version of you? "

     WELL, HE SURE WON’T PRETEND HE’S NOT POSITIVELY DELIGHTED BY THAT--- and midnighter also isn’t going to tell bruce that his children call him the the BDSM BATMAN. there’s no satisfaction to be had, making him privy to THAT tidbit of information. 

     “ isn’t that just some SUBLIME news. “  he’s all shit-eating grin, wide and ear-to-ear.  “ i can’t say I’M the one to ask--- but maybe it’s got something to do with that STICK you’ve got lodged so far up your ass, you can probably TASTE it. who’s to say, really. certainly not me. “ 

[alleyborn]

〈 @gothamdad​​ ━  ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ sᴡᴇᴇᴛ sᴡᴀɴ sᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏɴ  〉

♕ ᴅᴀᴍɴᴇᴅ ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇ  ━━━━━━ He was standing on the kitchen counter, digging through the cabinet trying to get at the GOOD cereal he ᴋɴᴏᴡs Dick hid in the back. Behind all the gross bland adult ones. Who even likes raisins? Jason nearly jumps out of his skin the lights come on and he whips his head to sees Bruce there. So much for sneaking a late nighty snack. He really thought he could get away with it.  ❝ Hi, Bruce ❞