#grad 2020

[xani-ka]

i had my grad party tonight and i couldn’t breathe all afternoon but i got cute pics n really that’s all that matters

ig: livingd3ad.gxrl

[girls-are-very-pretty]

CONGRATS TO ALL OF THE GIRLS OUT THERE GRADUATING!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!

[bushra88]

[putinsactualbigdick]

Graduating high school as year 2020 is like

*constant over looming dread that spring break is over next week*

when youve been graduated for like 6 months and going to college for 5

[fireladybuckley]

Graduation day

I’m going to get a little personal here for a moment.  This post is quite long so I thank you if you actually get to the end of it, but I wanted to get my thoughts in order and such.  <3  Some of you may or may not know that I was in university for a Bachelor of Science (in biology) degree.

Today I would’ve walked the stage at my convocation ceremony.  Because of Covid, our ceremony is not happening (which is to be expected) but my university has also decided not to do any kind of ceremony at a later date for us, nor are we even getting any kind of online ceremony.  They claim it was a “very hard decision” but that it was what they had to do.   So this day, after 5 years (6, if you count my year of upgrading) of hard work, stress, and anxiety is very difficult and bittersweet for me.  

University has been one of the toughest and ultimately most rewarding things I’ve ever done.  As an older mature student I never really felt like I fit in, and though I’ve made some great friends, I always felt like I was on the outside looking in, at least socially.  University has given me some of the worst stress, anxiety and bad mental health that I’ve ever faced in my life.  

But it has also made me feel triumphant and proud of my accomplishments for the first time in my life.   I have always doubted my own abilities and smarts, but I proved to myself and others that I AM capable.  It is the only thing I’ve ever really excelled at, and that was through no small amount of hard work on my end.  I dedicated more time, effort, and passion into my degree than anything in my life thus far and though it was hard, there’s very little I would’ve changed.  

I just mourn the loss of our class’s convocation.  University is more than just learning and writing tests and leaving at the end.  My entire world view has changed.  I am a different person now than I was when I started.  My personality, the way I view other people, society, the way I think... that’s all changed now, (mostly) for the better.  I think about things more, I can analyze information critically, I am more empathetic than I’ve ever been.  To me, the convocation ceremony is as much about celebrating my growth as a person as much as it is about my academic accomplishments.  To me, it is a symbol of who I and everyone else have become, a closing of this chapter of our lives before we move on to other things.

In the last few weeks I’ve felt a great deal of anger, resentment, and heartbreak towards my university for so flippantly cancelling our convocation and proposing quite possibly the lamest way of celebrating our graduating class I can think of (they want us to take pics of ourselves wearing our mortarboards and they’ll post them on social media with a hashtag.  Woohoo.).  I haven’t even wanted to wear my school sweaters because I feel like the school I took such pride in before does not care about its grads whatsoever.

However I remind myself that the university I’m proud of isn’t the higher ups that make bad decisions.  The university I’m proud of is the professors and the student body that made it worth going to lecture after lecture, lab after lab.  In my 5 years at this school, I had only a very small handful of unsatisfactory professors, and only one of them was truly bad.  The vast majority of my profs have been good to absolutely wonderful, and they are who I think of now when I think of my school and how, even in the midst of so much student stress, I had so. Much.  Fun. as a student.  So many of the classes were so interesting, so many labs were exciting and interesting and fun.  I’ve had so many funny profs over the years that helped ease some of the stress and just overall, it really was a great experience.  

So, to make a long story short... I’m done.  I did it.  I actually did it.  If you told me ten years ago I’d have graduated university with an excellent GPA at my age I would probably have been very skeptical. My parents didn’t think I could do it. I know I wasn’t sure I could do it.  But from since Day 1 of upgrading I have poured my all into this and it paid off.

I’m a bachelor of science, y’all.  And I just hope I can put my skills and knowledge to use as soon as I can. <3

[doggrowth]

What it honestly feels like to graduate in 2020

From the perspective of an incredibly sentimental/emotional person. 

Important: this is not the most important thing in the world right now. There are much bigger injustices and difficulties happening. Not getting a graduation ceremony or prom is something 2020 grads will get over, but that does not mean we cannot and should not grieve the things we hoped for. 

There are lots of kids out there, in high school and university, that are not upset by not getting a graduation ceremony due to the effects of the Covid pandemic. I know a lot of kids have taken this situation and have spun it positively... or they simply do not care. But I am not either of those people. I took this personally and was absolutely devastated. I have not cried uncontrollably this much since Avengers: Endgame (that’s a joke I definitely have cried more - especially when I watched Star Wars: the Last Jedi... I don’t know why). I know that people all across the world are missing out on all kinds of things: final seasons of sports, competitions, proms, and other school traditions. But I am just going to draw from my own experiences... because it’s all I have.

When I was in grade ten I made friends with a bunch of grade twelves who were in the drama club. I was anticipating watching them leave, but it was consistently comforting knowing that in two short years I would be in their place. When we finished our drama year, they cried because they were done with drama and I cried because they would be leaving. I watched as the senioritis took over and they gave in and dropped the classes they didn’t actually need. I was there with them on their last day of high school. We all ate lunch at our usual spot one last time, I gave them gifts and we took loads of pictures. I spent forth period sitting on the lawn outside the school, just talking to them. I saw them the next day as they retrieved and tried on their grad gowns in the drama room. I was the emcee at their ceremony so I watched them all nervously go up onto the stage on grad day. I got to hug them and talk to them and cry to them. I went to their grand march and we danced and cried together. I went to a party with them and then it was over.

I loved the decorations, the photos, the suits and dresses, the speeches, everything. It wasn’t unique. It was the same kind of graduation ceremony that every class gets every year. It’s a big school with nearly 300 graduates every year and it can be really impersonal. But it was also their grad and it was special for them and exciting in it’s own way. 

It was also exactly what they were promised their entire lives. If you’re lucky you get an over the top pre-kindergarten graduation with the hats and food and... I don’t remember what else was done there. Most schools do a “grade eight grad” I’ve found. Our high school graduation is hinted at in small doses our entire lives (even more than graduating university which is arguably much bigger). We see cousins or siblings or friends graduate high school and it seems so far away but really cool and grown up. And some kids really don’t care about that stuff, I know my brother didn’t. But when I watched my friends two years ago I looked forward to my day. It was also going to be 300 other students days and millions across the world but everyone would celebrate the biggest thing that I’ve done in my life so far. I wanted everything that had to do with my senior year. I wanted the last few months of terrible stress and senioritis that ultimately would end up being worth it. I wanted to get to finish my last play in the drama club and get to go to the regional drama festival and win or lose, I don’t really care anymore. I wanted a day where I could dramatically walk out the door and have a chance to empty my locker. I wanted to see group pictures of people either jumping in the air saying “we did it” or just flipping off the school with the caption “good riddance” (I’ve already seen some of those but it’s just a bit different vibes lol). And, as egotistical as it sounds, I wanted a big stage and massive decorations and a dance party to bad country music because I’m from Saskatchewan and no matter how much I asked for it I probably wouldn’t have gotten them to play Mr. Blue Sky. And I wanted to get to sit in a crappy, uncomfortable, slippery blue chair on the concrete floor for three hours to watch the people I went to school with and didn’t really talk to walk across the stage as a strange playlist of country music mixed with 80s best hits played in the background. And I also would have loved a giant sign reading “2020″ to pose in front of because that’s such a cool number. Not only did I want all of that, I was promised that my entire life. Until I was suddenly told that I was not getting ANY of that. 

My heart broke. It’s still breaking. I feel like I still have minuscule bits of hope that I might get a real high school grad with these people one day. And I was really having a hard time being excited about the things that my school is doing. 

We have been able to get grad pictures done. They were done last week and although it was a lovely experience, I also cried for an hour after I got mine done because it just wasn’t what I wanted. As soon as I put my graduation gown on for the pictures I realized how much I didn’t want to take it off and how I badly I wished that I could walk across the stage after being handed my diploma. 

Of course graduating high school is (hopefully) not the most exciting thing that is going to happen my entire life. Of course when I’m 54 I’m going to look back on my life and not be so upset about it anymore. But that really doesn’t matter. Because right now, at 18 years old, this is the biggest thing that I have done my entire life. And I know exactly what I am missing out on when it comes to celebrating that. 

But... I haven’t been in therapy for five years of my life for no reason; I know how to look towards the positive in these kinds of situations. I’m super excited to get my grad pictures in the mail and to also take photos in the $300 dress my parents got me. I will get to have friends and family time where I celebrate with the people who matter the most. More graduation photos have been posted on the school’s instagram than ever. We have been able to have more personal experiences through social media. At the end of the month there will be a beautiful video put together of all of the graduates with their plans and stories and photos. It’s so much more personal. Although I would 1000% take a proper/plain/boring grad year over this, I will admit that it is nice. That once I got all my tears out, I was able to smile when my mom took me to party city to buy decorations. I am excited to see the video and, even if it doesn’t really feel like it, I did it. I did graduate. And I have a lot more to look forward to. 

[lesmiserabby]

Grad 2020

My diploma finally arrived! Bachelor of Arts (Honours) with Major in Dramatic Arts and a Minor in German!

[cirsatanized]

I did it! I was like 98% sure I wasn't going to graduate, but here we are :)