Pledging - Collegiate and Alumnae Experiences
We get a lot of questions about the difference between collegiate and alumnae experiences when pledging. chokoladst and I are here to talk about our experiences in Delta and hopefully dispel some of these myths. Buckle up cuz this is going to be long.
Where did you pledge, how many were on your line, what was your number and your line name?
S&E: I crossed into the Mu Upsilon Chapter at the College of William and Mary. There were 6 on my line. I am a Tre and my line name is Paragon.
CHOKO:I crossed Lancaster (PA) Alumnae Chapter. I am the tre on a line of 7. My line name is Unbreakable.
How did you express interest?
S&E: I didn’t. I didn’t realize that I was supposed to. I came to all of their events and I knew the ladies from a pre-collegiate program that I did but I never told them I wanted to be a Delta. My friend and later LS told one of the ladies that I was interested but since I was a freshman they didn’t pay me any mind. When I turned in an application (and they realized that I was actually an academic sophomore) they called a couple of folks to see if I was good. Thankfully those people vouched for me and here I am.
I actually met who later became my dean through a church member/her fellow member through OES. We met after a fashion show my church had and I wasn’t aware of who I was meeting until we separated and were introduced. So technically I didn’t initially express interest but I did reaffirm once asked.
What was your new member presentation like? Did you step/stroll?
S&E: My chapter believes in very traditional probates. No music, no microphones, no fanfare. We have probated outside in the same spot on campus for decades no matter the weather. So, I probated in the rain wearing combat boots, ugly mom jeans, and my crossing shirt. Would I have liked to get all dolled up? Absolutely, it would have made for cuter pics but hey, it’s tradition. We stepped at the end but we didn’t stroll. Again, we believe strolling is for parties not probates. So in essence, my probate was us spitting massive amounts of information & poems, greeting all my big sisters and all the frats, then doing a several national and chapter steps. It was the toughest night of my life but also the most rewarding
CHOKO: Our chapter didn’t even know we were crossing when we did. We were still expecting to have a few more meetings then be made aware of when that day was coming. It was held in private, very intimate in front of about 20 or so other members. Almost our whole line cried because it was unexpected. My Ace was also hoping our families could have been there because they were the source of our support the whole time. So there was no stepping or anything of that nature. Once the shock of that was over we still wanted to host a back to school drive for the kids. We said for the half time we would “perform”. We did a collab of about four different routines just as a way of introducing ourselves to not only our chapter but our families as well. We greeted all the sororities/fraternities as well as our dean and those members apart of intake
How were you treated after crossing?
S&E: Overwhelmingly positively but it was not without some bumps. My chapter was relatively well known regionally but at the end of the day I went to a small PWI. Single letter chapters and larger HBCUs tend to be more well known so there were a few times where I had to answer a few questions. That didn’t bother me at all. I knew my information and quite frankly was happy to show it off a little lol. I wouldn’t do that now though… but I’m also not a neo anymore so I doubt anyone would ask me. Also, I knew a lot of Greeks before crossing. To me, this is more about your ability to create relationships than how/where your crossed. I had awesome relationships with a lot of the bruhs, Alphas, and Sorors just from being at various social gatherings and I think that helped.
CHOKO: good for the most part. I have only had one brush with..shade (that sticks out. If there were other moments I clearly was unbothered). My LS’s and I (literally one week to the day following crossing) attended the UG girls probate. We were greeted by another UG from a different college and when asked we stated “LAC”. Immediately her nose turned up, smiled, and walked away. Apparently there was some bad blood between her chapter in the past and our chapter in the past. It bothered me because I didn’t know of that history until after the fact. Many people assume because of my age and I look young, oh you must have crossed at NCCU. I state where I cross proudly and I don’t receive any type of negative vibes. They’re generally happy to meet another Soror/member of the Divine Nine.
How was it getting to know your LS’s during the process and other Sorors once crossing?
S&E: In the beginning it was a little rough. We were VERY different women and it was hard to agree on anything. Without giving away too much suffice it to say that my prophytes put an end to that. We also spent every single minute together for months so that helped. We came to really appreciate each other’s differences. Now, before I make any major decision I ask my LSs just to get other perspectives. I don’t know what I would do without the science mind of my ace, the analytical mind of my deuce, the people-focused mind of four, the justice-driven mind of my five, and the spiritually solid mind of my tail. The key was to always think the best of your sisters and seek understanding. If my deuce did something I didn’t like I’d think “I know she means well so let me talk to her about it.” Maybe I misunderstood something or maybe she really was wrong and our conversation gave her an opportunity to grow. I didn’t have trouble bonding with other sorors… Everywhere I went I just introduced myself and kept people’s phone numbers. Here’s my #1 piece of advice for neos: if you are traveling to another campus reach out to your sorors there just say hi. Special shout owt to Alpha Gamma sorors who just knocked on our door senior year to say hi when they were passing through town. They ended up inviting us out for a fish fry. That’s real sisterhood.
CHOKO: After the initial meeting we exchanged contact info and we had lunch/dinner just as a line when we could. Half of our line had families (husbands and children), my bf had just relocated to PA, etc. We would do conference calls/group text. Once we crossed, getting to know the other Soror’s outside of those directly involved with our process wasn’t as hard as some assume. We had monthly meetings and other events. In alumnae chapter there is a chance that you have Sorors around your age (I was turning 26 when I crossed, the youngest just turned 25) all the way to those in their 70’s. Honestly, i LOVE my older Sorors! I was intimidated at first because they were “old school” but they have a lot of experience over the years as Deltas and women period. Some of the older ones taught us strolls.You can learn from them and they will pray for you like a mother/grandmother would their own child. Members don’t attend every meeting so I sometimes only see my Spec once every couple of months but you have to remember in an alumnae chapter, jobs/professions/families are more established. It takes work but the bond is worth it.
