The am New York distributor at my train station is a madly gregarious dude. "GOOD MORNIN'! YOU LOOK GREAT! ENJOY YOUR DAY!" Seriously. Folks funneling into the station keep gaze downward, earbuds in, etc. Some respond with short, polite waves. Very few turn verbal.
I started the second type but unfortunately devolved into the first. Most people are the first.
Yesterday, the am New York man's mantra was different. It had teeth. "EVERY MORNING! EVERY MORNING I SEE YOU! NEVER A 'GOOD MORNING'?! A 'HELLO'! YOU ALL JUST IGNORE ME! HELLO! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!"
We could hear him. Noses crinkled, iPod volumes jumped. He was literally throwing a fit. He crumbled before our disinterested eyes into a toppled stack of newspapers.
In a way it totally sucks we don't greet each other warmly, starting the day with a little neighborly camaraderie. But in another way, that's just the culture. Sure, the baker dude further north on Graham gets a lot of positive response to his daily greeting, but he is an outlier. It isn't personal. We aren't generous with our warmth.
It took me a long time to stop expecting warmth. Circa age 16 I came home in a huff. I brought cookies I baked to class and people didn't topple over themselves in gratitude. I mean, sure, maybe they weren't the greatest cookies, but stiiiiill. I sat at the dining room table, knees pulled to my chest, frowning as my DiscMan blasted. "You're gonna be a lot happier when you stop expecting 'thank you,'" my dad shouted over NWA.
It wasn't an immediate switch flipped, but I can definitely firsthand attest to this truth. It's nice if you want to do nice things, but you should be doing it because you want to do a nice thing, not because you want someone to say or do something nice in reaction to the nice thing. If a pat on the head is your goal, it may be time to reevaluate your motives.
It's so rad that the am New York guy took the extra energy to slap on a smile and use the top of his lungs. Every. Morning. But what did he realistically expect to happen? Sure, maybe a few new neighborhood pals or high fives weren't totally unreasonable. But, like, an entire Brooklyn attitude overhaul? People to stop crossing their legs on the train? Hugs breaking out in the street like a musical? Smiling at your neighbor? Fuck, KNOWING YOUR NEIGHBOR'S NAME?
I doubt he aimed for a revolution, maybe just a little positive feedback. But still. I'm not sure he had the best reasoning behind his paper flinging tactics.
I don't know. It was kind of a bummer to see someone who seemed so wholesome, warm to let his cloak fall.
I want to start doing more regular personal essays/musings on here (alert, esp. if you started following me because the Dead Rapper Nails Wrap thing). For practice. In addition to those, I want to create and post more playlists. Music takes up an enormous amount of brain space for me, and I think it might be nice to share.
You can listen. Or not. Read. Or not. I'm not doing it for the reaction.
