#gratuitous self-indulgence

[the-pomegranate-cassock]

Posting bit by bit... Oodles of tags, only some of which apply at this point.

Trickster, you make an appearance... have to wade thru some gorey theatrics, tho.

[artcrystals]

11/10, would marry this man a million times over.

[condensed-theorem-shop]

Jean dialogues

(key to Jean-nicknames here)

(caused by idle rereading of the ‘make my characters talk to each other’ thread)

(in which Jeans are cryptic and depressing at each other)

Memoir & Iliar

[Cordyceps!Jean and Goldmage!Jean]

Memoir: *envious whimpering noises* Iliar: “I’d threaten to--” Memoir: “Wouldn’t work, no.” Iliar: “It’d make two of him sad. And two of her.” Memoir: ...*envious whimpering noises continue*

Ombre & Tano

[Eclipse!Jean and Threefold!Jean]

Ombre: “Sweet.” Tano: “It makes him sad, though.” Ombre: “Alas.”

Ensorcel & Sentinel

[Buffyverse!Jean and Watcher!Buffyverse!Jean]

Ensorcel: *exists* Sentinel: *ceases to anything* Ensorcel: *murders with extreme prejudice*

Liberation & Ombre

[WWII!Jean and Eclipse!Jean]

Liberation: “You what.” Ombre: ... Liberation: “Christ. I thought I fucked up.” Ombre: ... Liberation: “And you still managed to--” Ombre: “I don’t know how, either.” Liberation: “Jesus fucking christ.” Ombre: “...not the same one, though.” Liberation: “...how bad?” Ombre: “Unfixable.” Liberation: ... *requires hugs from his Felix to return to functioning*

Tano & Liberation:

[Threefold!Jean and WWII!Jean]

Liberation: “What, only once?” Tano: “Worse than you’re imagining.” Liberation: “She wasn’t even questioning you!” Tano: “Direct. Muscle. Control.” Liberation: “... my sister.” Tano: “......you win.”

Ombre & Milliard

[Eclipse!Jean and StarTrek!Jean]

Ombre: “Oh, unfair.” Milliard: “Mm. You know how?” Ombre: ... Milliard: “By not being LITERALLY THE WORST PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF THE MULTIVERSE.” Ombre: “...kill me?” Milliard: “Say ‘please.’”

Liberation & Exile

[WWII!Jean and Path!Jean]

Liberation: “...how.” Exile: “Step one: don’t do things that make him incredibly sad.” Liberation: ... Exile: “Step two: promise to continue not doing things that make him incredibly sad.” Liberation: “Your point is made.” Exile: “Step three: make yourself into a person who’s easy to love. Step four: he needs a surprising amount of taking care of.” Liberation: “Thank you.” Exile: “Don’t do it again.”

Ombre & Liberation, part ii

[Eclipse!Jean and WWII!Jean]

Ombre: ... Liberation: ... Ombre: “...if your Felix isn’t using his...” Liberation: “No.” Ombre: “He makes him happy!” Liberation: “He made him sad!” Ombre: *murderous glare* Liberation: *murderous glare*

Iliar & Sentinel

[Goldmage!Jean and Watcher!Buffyverse!Jean]

Sentinel: *ceases to anything* Iliar: “......wow. You can’t even ask, can you.” Sentinel: ... Iliar: “Can you even want?” Sentinel: ... Iliar: “...I’m not sure if it would, honestly.” Sentinel: ... Iliar: “Moot question, anyway.” Sentinel: ... Iliar: *murders*

[condensed-theorem-shop]

How to tell if you are a Jean

You might be a Jean if:

you try to kidnap a prince and accidentally end up having sex in the woods with him

your international spy ring has incredibly elaborate security protocols to preserve secrecy, but you name all your secret identities after your favorite authors

"for the #aesthetic" is an accurate description of your core values as a person

you have ever reacted to falling in love with someone by sexually harassing them, insulting their dead parents, and accusing them of incest

issues you will literally commit murder over: cultural imperialism; arranged marriage; early twentieth-century French playwright Jean Genet

you think the best person to keep track of the membership list of your secret organization is your sister, who is gradually losing her capacity for theory of mind

you have ever, in an attempt to make someone happy, done something which they were at that very moment tearfully begging you on their knees not to do

when your romantic overtures are rebuffed, you express your feelings on the matter for sitting in the desert for multiple days crying and hugging a rock

you have ever attempted to defend yourself to an officer of the law with the words "you don't understand, I was just framing the mayor for treason"

you are no longer allowed to make plans

when going to what you believe to be your own certain death, you have a sewing kit in your back pocket "for emergencies"

gifts you're giving people for Christmas this year include: a sketch you commissioned from Picasso of their long-lost brother; a copy of your criminal record; a hellhound/corgi crossbreed; and a button from your shirt

a helpful relative has made up a list of practical life advice for you, including such items as "do not sexually harass minors," "in order to avoid alarming people, do not casually discuss ways you could torture them into compliance," and "the most melodramatic thing you could possibly do is not actually always the correct one"

you regularly ignore said list

you believe that problems fall into three categories: those you can murder, those you can have sex with, and those you let your sister handle

when you hear "that's very astute," you immediately take it to mean "you are so pathetically stupid that I can't be bothered to insult you"

you have had to rewrite your own brain architecture in order to accommodate being convinced that someone loves you

your boyfriend broke up with you because he thought you were in love with him but you thought you were having sex with him to manipulate him but actually you were in love with him and just hadn't realized it yet and now you're heartbroken

[condensed-theorem-shop]

jeans and unique traumas

because i am in a Mood for Contemplating Sad Boys

i keep saying “oh THIS jean is ~uniquely traumatized~”. but what unique traumas do they actually have? above and beyond the standard set, that is?

Ais (Nexus)

her terrimom’s definition of ‘perfection’ is ‘haut’. this is a birth status and so by definition impossible for her to achieve.

so she gets to live her entire life knowing that there is Literally No Hope.

oh and to add insult to injury she is working to get rid of the haut as an institution. thus, you know. spending her entire life destroying the only thing she’s ever wanted for herself.

Ali (Dance)

the path basically eradicated him. he barely counts as a jean anymore. he barely counts as not-a-p-zombie anymore.

fell in love with a felix. discovered that he made the felix sad. (that part: not unique.) tried to avoid making the felix sadder by walking away while the felix literally begged on his knees for him to stay. hello trauma my old friend. (he nicknames himself ‘biveh’ meaning ‘widower,’ because melodrama.)

Tano (Threefold)

nirue happened

basically the thing with nirue, yes

also he has a phobia of a particular play now. due to using it to displace flashbacks of nirue.

oh and he won’t sleep in beds. because for a second when he wakes up he expects to be back in the bed where nirue tortured him

you may be sensing a theme here

Iliar (Goldmage)

he is actually surprisingly low on traumas so far

however his terridad has taken care of this by manually installing phobias

thanks terridad

contamination/germ phobia, with compulsive handwashing, in case of whitemages

phobia of touching redmages (luckily for him this is pretty promptly overwritten by Touching Redmages Is Awesome)

compulsive need to take care of mages

basically a whole suite of compulsions and phobias handpicked to make him a maximally obsessively perfect mageminder

Milliard (Star Trek)

smoke phobia. yes seriously. got badly burned in an incident as a child. dad deconditioned him from the fire phobia, managed to miss the smoke part. oops.

man this guy is practically okay

you know. by jean standards.

Jean (Eclipse)

terrified of fenris (he’s working on it, okay)

also terrified of people he loves being stuck with him

and generally kind of fucked up by the fact that a felix who is scared of him exists

borderline suicidal at most times

Liberation (WWII)

literal alcoholic (currently not actually drinking but man isn’t withdrawal fun. isn’t alcohol a great coping mechanism. joy)

extra bonus self-loathing issues from the whole thing where he fled nazi-occupied france and left his zari behind

and then there was the thing with felix

so many abandonment issues

so many

the guy is constantly terrified of the people he loves leaving him okay

(especially felix)

oh and he has a phobia of pain after that whole nazi torture thing. all jeans have a high pain threshold (thanks terridad) but he also has a phobia of even small amounts of pain. joy

and a phobia of being touched (he’s working on it)

and as a result is desperately touch-deprived (and so even cuddlier than the average jean) (which is pretty cuddly)

Ensorcel (Buffy)

actually nothing special yet, wow

just wait till he meets jasmine though

Jean (Buffy) (Watcher)

does not have a zari

that’s all

but it’s enough

Jean (Eclipse Phase)

his terridad installed a phobia of being in an octopus morph

this being, you know, on top of the general fucked-up-ness of being an uplifted octopus

also: his terridad literally died to save his life. so bonus level of Issues on that relationship

Jean (Worm)

most jeans just lack instinctive morality. this jean is an AI and got ‘‘‘morality’‘‘ built in that he has to navigate around. it is not such great morality

Aténdu (Arda)

mostly the visions thing

which i will refrain from spoiling

but trust me it’s bad

[heartofoshun]

Gratuitous self-indulgence because now I am not in the mood to write. I am writing a very long short-story about a threesome with Finrod, Maedhros and Fingon at Nargothrond. (I adore those Curfin/Finrod stories--one of my guilty pleasures--but I think these three guys are better suited.) Now, I have to find a way to do a photomanip that includes Maedhros. Sorry, not very good at photomanips. I just shoot! I have things I should be doing. But I just can't!

[loverlylight]

And here's the last of my proof of how much of a crazy fangirl I am! :D (I need to find/make a good "I regret nothing" gif for these types of situations. XD)

Hope you enjoyed these at least half as much as I enjoyed spamming your dashboards with 'em! XD