Feb 25, 2018
Opossums pal, pardner.
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Opossums pal, pardner.
Is there chicken on the menu?
Nope. Just steak.
But. This steak. It’s not even. I mean. Like. Huh?
Yeah. It’s a lab grown steak bub. Newest thing since hairless eggs. You gotta try it.
I don’t know. Is it even safe? You know how I’m worried about GMOs and everything I eat needs to be organic. One time, my cousin ate a whole tootsie role and he thought he turned into a glass of orange juice.
Must’ve been a good role. Not a lot of lines I imagine.
Ang high in Vitamin C.
Just like these steaks!
You don’t say.
Oh yes. I do. They’re fortified with a complex blend of amino acids and vitamins to give you all the nutrients that you desire. That’s the best way to get muscles you know. Just don’t work out too much. Remember, a wise man once said that your body is like a battery, so it’s best to conserve your energy.
Was that Basho?
Yeah, and we’re all on some journey. You might not realize it now, but we’ve all got a place to be, and synchronicities come into our lives all the time. The most important thing is not sabotage yourself and just keep on truckin. Like a reefer truck full of lab grown steaks. Just. Keep on trucking.
I’m still driving that train, high on propane!
Dude. Stop huffin and get to puffin my friend.
Hele, nerikej co mam delat
Proc?
Proto
Debile
I’m not an idiot! I’m like super smart! Im completely stable and I’m gonna be the hero in the end.
So lets get back to business. You need to get those PAs, bring some beats. And we can start bar b quing it up.
Wha? With these lab grown steaks?
Yes, these are specially designed to be specially design to comform exactly to your special design.
So like Mondrian.
Nah. What you take me for? Mondrian couldn’t touch who I’m speaking about.
Oh MORANDI!
Yeah dude.
I always mix the two up
Understanable
So, are we gonna get those shish kaboobs and get cookin?
You know it buddy. You know it
I love you
I love you too
Like. I mean. I’m really in love with you.
That’s cool
What’s that even mean?
It means it’s cool
oh. ok
don’t even think about. love is like a dove who got caught in a telephone wire and fried to death. That’s why if we keep ourselves Christ centered we’ll be able to overcome any challenges that we face.
good point.
so do you have permission to marry me?
Yeah, I got it last night
So, I’m going to say this. I think you are a very serious man, and this is why I accept this for now.
Thank you
And now we can get married.
So this is the last part, when Abraham went to see the parents of Rebekah, he really intended to make a lab grown steak. Delicious,GMO Free, and ready for frying. Where can you buy lab grown steaks in Tuscaloosa you may be thinking? Well, old Trotter’s has the best in town.
Truck drives down a road.
It’s night.
Raining
in North Dakota
In Winter
He’s hauling a load.
It’s a semi truck.
No. It’s a helitruck!
And it’s carrying in a new shipment of lab grown steaks from only the best cows in Montana! Oh we love lab grown steaks up here in Montana. You know. When it rains in winter the highways are almost impenetrable. That’s why I just got my own reality tv show. It’s about a guy, who’s gotta go. And that guy’s name. Is Donald J. Trump.
-A hand is turning a knob on the radio in an old helitruck . He yells into the back area of the cab, which has been turned into a living quarters. There’s plush red velvet on the walls, and he’s got a bunch of christmas lights that are pumpkins around the windshield.
“Hey Meggy! You get that chicken nugget back yet?!”
- A woman rises up slowly from a mound of blankets. Wipes her eyes of the sleep and gazes at the cold road before her. She thinks a prarie dog just tried to kiss her again in her sleep.
“GEDDDOUTTA HERE!”
“what the heck Meggy?!! You get them nuggeets?”
“Nah, but we do have one of those lab grown steaks. Want me to throw it in the warming cube?”
“What?! How do we still have lab grown steaks left? Those are so delicious and taste exactly like I always wanted. Plus you don’t have to kill any animals to make em! What’s better than that!? You know. If we ruin the planet we could get kicked out. Like, there’s way more animals than us. They can kick us the hell out. Make us run into our helitrucks and hightail it the hell out. “
“You need to calm down. You bein to loud!”
Hey, there’s a lot of great ways to save on these lab grown steaks. You can get the lowest prices of the season for the next 48 hours, no sponge, and they’re waterproof. That’s the average amount of quality time that we get with the kids.”
“Don’t you dare bring them into this. THey done enough the way it is!”
“Hey, I’m focused on retirement and making sure that there’s a lab grown steak for every table that needs it. But how do you keep having family taco night you might be thinking right? Well, think no more. Eat your way and have the day that you always wanted.”
Lab grown steaks aren’t that versatile though, and the family of our steaks to keep you covered. There is a payment plan which can be offered if you want a pork chop then lets go to the dog park and swim and sleep in the back of the car. I’ll cast out a line, maybe reel in a few lab grown steaks and we’ll see no need to really hammer anything down. All I can say is game over.
--The engine begins to sputter
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