Oh. Oh God. What have I done?
I-I don't know what came over me. I was just browsing the Newt Scamander tag, unable to decide between Grindelnewt and Scamandercest, when my brain completely fucks me over.
I know I'm normally hardcore Grindelnewt, and the babies will always have a special place in my heart. JUST HEAR ME OUT.
It stabbed me right in the WiPs earlier, and I'm still bleeding, so bare with me. Theseus (the one we all created before CoG) was--mostly--Gryffindor. He's an Auror, he's perpetually in Ragey Big Brother mode, and he will fucking cut you if you even breathe wrong in Newt's direction. My freaky ass originally went "Oh God, THREESOME" but then I realized that I was barely keeping house with an Alpha and a Omega, there was no way Newt would be the submissive one in that relationship. My baby is, at best, a power bottom. That's off topic, sorry, MOVING ON.
Normally I don't like putting Alphas with Alphas. It rankles me something fierce because I think you lose out on the potential to obliterate those social norms and give a clear cut way to straight up defiance (which we all know I have a trope boner for). I have seen some writers who are able to make it work-- @funkzpiel has written some killer Grindelgraves fics that had me SHOOK. But normally it's not my cup of tea.
So then, being the Grindelnewt/Scamandercest lover I am, I immediately went "Pining for the same person" trope. Very angry, angst-ridden, bdsm-esque sex filled with Theseus being threatening and Grindelwald being a shit. Or perhaps a step further into hero/villain territory and make it so that it's just Grindy having the hots for Newt, and taking his brother as substitute.
(What would this ship name even be? Thellert? GrindelZeus? All three with Grindercest?)
But as much as I love Newt, I'm drifting. I am approaching less pretend-sex territory and more straight up hate-sex territory. And the TROPES that come to mind. Unwilling soulmates. Marriages of convience. Prisoners of War. Mafia bosses trying to one up each other. And last but certainly not least, my hook, line, and sinker--PIRATE/SIREN AU. I have such a weakness for those but I could never imagine a situation in that universe in which I could realistically write Grindelnewt or Scamandercest. But, add an extra line on that love triangle? Everything begins to bloom into place.
I honestly don't know why this hit me. I've never seen any fics for this ship, no art, not even a crack quote. But if I have to drown in this sinking rabbit hole, so do you. Were they in this fandom, I know I would have buryoooooo by the balls. They love top dog on top dog. SO I KNOW I HAVE SOME OF YOU. JOIN ME. WE CAN DIE TOGETHER.
