Summary: self-immolation (noun) [ self-im·mo·la·tion ˌself-ˌi-mə-ˈlā-shən ]
: a deliberate and willing sacrifice of oneself often by fire
(aka Grisham and passive suicidal ideation)
Pairing: Grisham x Griselle or Grisham & Griselle
CW: implications of suicide and self-harm
inspired by the twitter post down below!
Grisham knew he liked coffee. He liked working as a baristo for the most part, collaborating with his Pokemon to concoct drinks that bring fleeting comfort to Lumiose's disadvantaged. He enjoyed spending time with Griselle. He would read a novel while she watched TV., and eventually, she would be leaning against him, head on his shoulder, snoring while her unruly hair tickled his face.
He loved Charizard. An itty bitty Charmander now turned into a strong and noble companion, he cherished every single moment he had spent with him ever since they first met. He hated grooming Pangoro and Pyroar; they tested his patience to no end. Salamence enjoyed going for night flights with him and Charizard, and having the most picky palate of his team, Malamar helped taste test new recipes for the cafe. Whenever his team wasn't competing in the Royale, they trained on the rooftop at night until Griselle came shuffling up the stairs, yawning as she commanded them to settle down.
Grisham liked, loved, and hated a lot of things, but whenever he thought about it, those things didn't seem to light a fire inside of him like things did for Griselle. She had passion, perhaps misguided at times, that burned like a bonfire inside of her. Under her thorny exterior, she was surprisingly earnest and sincere once you got to know her. She woke up late everyday, always cursing him out without fail for how early he set the cafe's hours, but regardless, she got up anyways. If she had a good dream last night, she would hum to herself while brushing her teeth. If not, she would glare at him, toothbrush buzzing away in her mouth while he prepared a simple breakfast.
He never understood why, but she liked watching Galarian League matches, especially Kabu's whenever he battled against Leon. He caught her full on yelling at the referee on screen one day when he came back from the grocery store. Griselle mildly hated coffee, preferring energy drinks that made his stomach ache from the sugar, but she tolerated a roast anyways whenever Grisham saw that she was about to nod off in the slower afternoons. She liked the smell of coffee more than the taste, even after he added a horrendous amount of sugar and cream. On their days off, she wore his stolen basketball shorts until he was left to choose only between boxers or joggers in Lumiose's famous heat waves. He opted for joggers most of the time. Whenever they got drunk in their apartment, she would tipsily tell him to "lighten up" and "come out from backstage more often". He would usually stare at her dumbly before pressing his flushed cheek against the faux marble countertop.
Grisham wasn't sure what Griselle was to him. They referred to each other as comrades, but it was something deeper than that. Was it romance? He didn't really know anything about that. From the moment he was conscious of his own existence, Lysandre had whisked him away into the Team Flare dorms. He would be groomed into the perfect Flare admin eventually. His friends would elbow him whenever they caught someone ogling him, and while he'd give them a practiced smile, he wouldn't engage with them. His friends would then groan and say that he was a Skitty, too busy chasing his own tail to have any fun. It wasn't until he was 17 that he had his first kiss when his friends were already hooking up with others, and even then, he wasn't sure if he liked it. While he felt pulls to certain people, he never pursued anything, convinced that there was no point.
Grisham would never admit this to anyone, but back then, he wasn't sure he'd make it to his 21st birthday. So imagine his surprise when Griselle gifted him a new set of chef's knives and a hearty pat on the back. That night as he laid in bed, his consciousness gave him another present, the gift of dread of what was to come next. He hadn't planned for this to happen, for him to be here for so long. The lack of a reason for being here scared him, so he quickly latched onto one: find AZ, make him pay, redeem Flare Nouveau. Spite is a powerful motivator, and it gave him something to do for a while, becoming the newest hotshot to rise up through the ranks of the Royale.
Still, he found himself training harder and harder with his team, until the burns and scrapes left behind no longer bothered him. In a reversal of roles, Griselle would chide him as she bandaged up his back, the only place he couldn't tend to himself. "Don't kill yourself over this business. It's not worth your life." So instead, he began attending the Royale more frequently, staying out later and later even after he'd accumulated enough points for challenger's tickets. As for his baristo duties? The main truck always opened at 7 AM, and he never missed a day. The extra money helped though, and after paying off the bills, he was able to buy Griselle a high end Wooloo wool sherpa blanket. She always complained of being cold at night despite sleeping cuddled up to her Pyroar. "What's this?" she said, eyeing the package suspiciously, but upon tearing it open, she had squealed so loudly that Talonflame came screeching into the room.
Grisham liked seeing the various wounds and ever-growing dark circles when he looked in the mirror. The knowledge that he was being useful brought him peace. If he was the only piece of tinder left in the woodshed, why wouldn't he set himself on fire to keep Griselle warm? When the Royale app showed that Team MZ newcomer as his next promotion match, he breathed a sigh of relief. It was almost over. After taking Floette and subduing Ange, Grisham could just… let go and rest. Be at peace forever after.
Instead he lost his match, and something about that loss was different from the ones he suffered during his time as a Team Flare grunt in the field.
A couple weeks after Ange's rampage, Griselle wakes up on her own for once. Smelling coffee from the kitchen, she pads out into the living room. Grisham is on the balcony, leaning on the railing, sipping from a mug as he stares at the grey overcast sky. It's going to rain very soon; Griselle can smell it, but she joins him. "Good morning," he says, finally looking at her with a soft smile. There's something different about him, something shining in those crimson eyes. She's not sure she's ever seen him this way before; it's a new side to him, one that she is very glad to see.
He turns his gaze back on the ruined tower, taking another sip. "I was thinking, should we visit Ambrette Town for my birthday? We could close down the cafe for a week." A week? Who is standing before her, and what have they done with Grisham? She eyes him suspiciously but after seeing that he's being sincere, she says, "I'd love to. Never got to go see the ocean before, and that sounds like fun." He nods. "It's settled then. Don't worry about arrangements. I can make them." Griselle heads back inside to brush her teeth, and after another glance at the Lumiose skyline, Grisham does too.
The sliding door closes shut with a soft squeak just as the first drop of rain begins to fall.
wrote this on paper and then typed up without spell-check, so I'll go back later and edit. also i know twitter sucks but some of the pokemon fans there are incredibly passionate and die-hard fans of certain characters, and I can only hope someday to understand a character to the depths they do
