#grishaversebigbang2020

[dameronalone]

bleeding hearts scar twice

the hopefully long-awaited day is upon us! it’s @grishaversebigbang posting day for my wonderful gang, the murder babies!

corporalnik:  @my-darling-inej for all her hard work correcting my grammatical errors and incomprehensible sentences. you can thank her for a fic that’s actually legible

materialki: @shinpoochy (slight spoilers) work here

@cla-oh work here! (my favorite kanej scene tbh)

@phy-be work here!

@we-are-made-of-stories edit here second edit here third edit here

fic summary: “That’s Maikel,” he said, and jerked his chin. “He’s the one that gave me that scar.” Inej reached for Kaz’s chin and inspected the scar more closely. It wasn’t deep or long, but it was clearly the mark from- “He knifed you?” Inej asked gleefully. It was nowhere near close to a major artery, and again - it wasn’t a deep cut. Inej was mostly shocked and impressed that a boy of somewhere between eight and eleven had actually managed to land a hit on Kaz Brekker, scum of the Barrel. Kaz glowered, withdrawing his hand and crossing his arms to sulk. “Aw, poor baby,” Inej said, petting his hairline, not even trying to mask the laughter in her voice. 

..

When Inej and her Wraiths storm a slaver ship five years after the first time she sailed away from Ketterdam, she becomes tasked with a quest she never would have thought herself capable of: the care of an eight month old baby. Meanwhile in Ketterdam, crime and chaos are at its lowest, yet to Kaz there seems to be more young children and teenagers on the streets than there used to be. When he gets jumped by a boy not more than ten, he finds himself offering the boy a place in the Dregs, and that place quickly becomes whatever is left of Kaz's heart. Reuniting over the course of ten years, Kaz and Inej meet in the middle, learning how to share themselves with each other and with their wards.

link here! you can also click the title at the beginning of the post! https://archiveofourown.org/works/26331919

[disarminglys]

genius and the (dream) thieves.

a/n: IT IS FINALLY HERE. this is my @grishaversebigbang​ submission in all its glory with all my wonderful materialki and corporalki. 

Corporalki: @dirtyhandsnet​

Materialki: @xan-drei​ LINK || @phy-be​ LINK || @rainbow-kueh​ LINK || @scarecrux​ LINK || @butterflysclaws LINK

Summary:  Kaz does not like to dream.

Or- no. That is not quite right. He has no issue dreaming, no problem with diving down into the depths of a mark’s subconscious to pull out the exact information that he needs, at the exact moment he needs it. Honestly, he finds the whole PASIV system to be quite useful. Crafty. Easily controlled. There are fewer variables to be worried about when you can change the world at will.

What he means is that he doesn’t like to dream for free.

aka the inception au that i HAD to write.

Ao3 Link here

wordcount: 14521 rating: T (some mild violence/blood, some language)

Fic below the cut!

Kaz does not like to dream.

Or- no. That is not quite right. He has no issue dreaming, no problem with diving down into the depths of a mark’s subconscious to pull out the exact information that he needs, at the exact moment he needs it. Honestly, he finds the whole PASIV system to be quite useful. Crafty. Easily controlled. There are fewer variables to be worried about when you can change the world at will.

What he means is that he doesn’t like to dream for free.

Not anymore. Not when he knows the value of his skill set, and what it can run him on the open market.

Truth be told, Kaz barely takes on jobs these days. And if he’s being hired, either the price has to be high enough, or he’s got to have a personal stake in the matter.

This job was the latter of the two, though the price was certainly high enough.

And for all his preparation, all his hypothetical outcomes, he still could not have predicted the way it would end or where he would be.

--

Van Eck found him in Prague.

It was a show of power as much as it was a reminder to Kaz that he was getting comfortable. When he was in the city, Kaz preferred a corner space in a chic lobby bar. Back to the wall, eyes towards both the front door and the elevators. Everyone wore crisp suits and finely tailored clothes and he fit in quite well amongst them.

Van Eck had arrived in the city that morning - Inej had spotted his private jet touching down in the small airport outside of town. Kaz wasn’t surprised to see his head of security walk through the glass doors. Surprised even less to see a sleek black car pull through and park in the valet drive.

Kaz was surprised by the slow, deliberate way the entire lobby (honestly, probably the entire hotel) cleared out, one by one. It was a neat trick, something Kaz himself should have thought of, because by the time the rotating door revealed the tall businessman, the two of them were almost completely alone.

“It’s good to see you, Mr. Brekker.”

Kaz sighed, closing the lid to his laptop and leaning back into the velvet cushion of his armchair. He didn’t need to check his surroundings to know that there would be three men posted in front of the elevator, two by the back door, and a handful out near the car. Van Eck was nothing if not thorough.

“For your line of work, Van Eck, you’re a terrible liar.” Kaz looked up at the older man, noticing that he hadn’t taken off the dark wool coat from where it hung over his shoulders, trying to gauge just how confident Van Eck felt at that moment. Was he armed, or would he leave that to his men?

Van Eck chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled his hand free of his leather gloves, tucking them into his outer coat pocket as he casually walked further into the lobby. “I’m an exceptional liar, Brekker. You’re just not worth the effort.”

“Oh, but I’m worth the effort to- what? Buy out an entire hotel? If you need somewhere to burn your cash, I can suggest a few more worthy causes.”

The lack of response told Kaz that his guess was right, and with a tinge of annoyance, he made a note to find a new working spot in the city. Van Eck continued walking towards him, approaching Kaz with a measured kind of caution. There wasn’t any point to try and hide the crooked, pleased smile that came to him at that fact - pleased with the impression Van Eck had of him. One of Van Eck’s men stepped forward to pull the coat from the older man’s shoulders, and Kaz noticed that he was, indeed, unarmed.

Cocky bastard.

“But please,” Kaz continued, dramatically gesturing across from him. “Take a seat. I would never turn away an opportunity before hearing the proposal first.”

Van Eck flinched, almost imperceptibly, and Kaz noted it. Two for two.

“I have a proposition for you.” Van Eck started, settling into the spot opposite him. Kaz’s brow arched and Van Eck sighed. “A job.”

“You’re wasting my time.”

Because the thing was - Kaz didn’t need outside work these days. He’d been one of the first, fully formed thieves in the dream business. He’d learned all there was to learn about the theft of thoughts, of information, of work. And by now, with the PASIV program expanding into the legal space as well, his need for going under dwindled.

He had people under his employ for that. He had teams he could hire for that. Kaz Brekker was the most infamous dreamer who didn’t dream any longer. He’s retired.

“What happened to listening to a proposal before turning it down?”

Kaz rolled his eyes, lifting his foot to settle his ankle on his knee and laying his cane across his lap. “I’m a businessman, Van Eck. When was the last time you listened to a pitch for a partnership opportunity yourself?” As the CEO of the largest manufacturers of artificial sugar, Van Eck had one of the few remaining undisputed food empires in the world. Kaz had bios on him, on all his executives, on the history of his company.

He knew, one day, Van Eck would come to him. It had just been a matter of time. Most men with that much money tended to.

More than that, Kaz could tell it pissed him off. And Kaz enjoyed nothing more than making powerful men uncomfortable.

“This is not a simple-” Van Eck paused, took a breath, controlled himself. Kaz’s grin widened, enjoying the way Van Eck had obviously been warned about Kaz’s tactics prior to this conversation, and yet still found himself fumbling. “I have a very lucrative proposition for you, Mr. Brekker. And I promise it will be worth your time.”

Kaz snorted, his eyes falling to his crow’s head cane. He could feel the anger rising in Van Eck across from him, but Kaz wasn’t in any hurry. “And how would you know how much my time is worth?”

“Because I know everything about you. From that shithole town you grew up in, how you were conscripted into the PASIV program out of Juvenile Detention. How you got out and took a device with you and have been unstoppable ever since. You have a reputation, Mr. Brekker. And not a subtle one.”

He knew the stories. He’d heard the rumors. Kaz Brekker was the Nightmare Bringer, the monster under your bed, waiting for you to fall asleep. Because Kaz was a thief, yes, but he was also vengeful. Unforgiving. Manipulative.

I make money in my sleep. He’d once told Inej, just as they had started into this business. Why should I bow to the laws of reality?

“And?”

“And I know how much your services run for. I am willing to match that.” Van Eck looked pleased, like a cat who had just caught his prey. Kaz studied the look, picked up on each and every detail in it.

“I’ll pass.”

And Kaz watched, just as intently but much more pleased, as that pleased look fell off of Van Eck’s face, replaced with one of shock. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Kaz set down his foot and leaned forward to grab his laptop, stowing it away in his leather briefcase. Van Eck sat with his mouth agape for a moment, then a moment more, before Kaz continued. “I do not take on deals that match a previous price, Van Eck. We’re expanding. Progression does not stall. I’m sure you can respect that.”

“Ten million.”

Kaz did pause at that, sighing. “You know, I do usually prefer the men I do business with to be desperate. But piece of advice? This does not-”

“Twenty.”

A familiar curl in his gut forced Kaz to rethink. To study the situation at hand. He was trying to  judge just how much Van Eck would be willing to put on the table, with all the possible jobs he could have brought him. The pause seemed to be enough for Van Eck to take advantage of, turning to his left and snapping once. The man who had taken his coat stepped forward, and Van Eck slipped a hand into his inside pocket, pulling out a small, sealed manilla folder. He set it on the glass of the coffee table between them, then slid it closer to Kaz.

“It’s hardly the most ridiculous thing you’ve done.”

Kaz’s eyes were on the envelope, mind racing. Inej had built up an impressive enough profile on  Van Eck Enterprises, and based off of that information, Kaz could be reasonably sure what would be inside that envelope. But he also knew how much Van Eck was worth, and how desperate he’d have to be to be here at all.

What does he have to lose?

“Because-” Van Eck could probably assume Kaz was wondering why. “I need it done discreetly. I need no trace, no weak link, and no proof of my involvement. I’m not just speaking on privacy, Mr. Brekker. I want there to be no evidence that the dreaming even occurred.”

And you want someone to take the fail if there is.

“Do we have a deal?”

Kaz weighed the options, his eyes still on the envelope. He knew what team he’d collect, who all he’d bring in. No matter who the mark might be, or whose name would be inside. It could be possible, as all things were with enough imagination. Kaz settled on a thought, and then decided, sitting back into his chair once more.

“Thirty.”

There was a pause, tense enough that Kaz could hear the sounds of a passing truck out on the street. Long enough he felt he could hear Van Eck’s jaw creak. “Thirty-?”

“Thirty million, Van Eck, take it or leave it.” And with that, Kaz stood, buttoning his suit jacket as he did. Van Eck’s eyes followed him, wide and uncertain, but as Kaz finished and pulled at the hem of his jacket, straightening it, Van Eck finally spoke.

“Fine. Deal.”

Kaz grinned, reaching down and sliding the envelope from the table, touching the edge of it to his forehead in a mocking kind of salute. “Pleasure doing business with you.” He grabbed his briefcase, slid the envelope inside, and started for the door.

And you didn’t even check the job before you agreed? Inej would ask him, later that night.

Didn’t see the point. The deal is the deal.

---

“You’re telling me you didn’t even check-”

“Save it, Zenik.”

Nina turned to Inej for support, but Inej merely shrugged. The three of them were settled around a small table in the small dining room of one of Kaz’s safe houses. The older woman who lived downstairs had just dropped off enough pisto to feed an army and Inej had been the one to answer the door (meaning that she had, of course, accepted it). Nina, who had arrived in Valencia a few hours before, was not exactly jumping to get into business discussions without food present, which then led to a traditional Spanish dinner - eating and talking about things that did not include the job - for the next two hours.

By the time the job came up, it was well past midnight and Kaz had just poured himself a cup of coffee.

“And you still plan to go through with this?” Nina reached across her plate, picking up one of the photographs spread over the table. She tilted it towards herself, to get a better look, and then tossed it towards Kaz. “This is a kid, Kaz. That’s crossing boundaries I didn’t think you’d cross.”

“This is an information retrieval job, not a hit, Zenik. I’m not asking you to kill a child.”

“But you are asking me to rifle around in his head for something we don’t even know is there.” Nina scoffed, at the idea more than anything, before leaning back in the chair and crossing her arms. “This is a new low, even for you.”

Kaz glanced over to Inej, who was gently blowing over her mug of tea. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see there, but Inej seemed just as unsurprised by Nina’s outburst as Kaz felt, which didn’t make it any easier.

“The question is simple enough, Zenik. 5 million, direct deposit, one job. Information extraction. Yes or no?”

Nina sighed, tipping back her chair towards the wall. “It’s really important to me you understand how fucked up this is.”

“Yes. Or. No.”

“Fine! I’ll do it!” She said, exasperated. Kaz just barely caught the way that Inej smiled at that, a slow, sneaky curve to her mouth. “No way I’d want you bringing on anyone else and screwing with this kid’s brain. No way. After what happened the last time I told you to go screw yourself? I still feel guilty.”

“Jesper isn’t that bad of a forger, Nina.” Inej added, her tone more of a gentle reminder.

“Oh please, Inej. You’re too nice to him.” Nina shook her head. “It was embarrassing and I wasn’t even there.”

Kaz would have preferred to tune them out. He would have preferred to just up and leave and let Inej explain the rest of it. It usually went that way, with the other jobs, but there was a tugging feeling at the base of Kaz’s spine that kept him there through Nina’s babbling.

“Alright then, Brekker.” Kaz blinked, looking up to see that Nina has settled the legs of her chair back on the floor, her focus back on him. Professional. “What about the rest of the team? You’re orchestrating, as always. Inej’s is on Point. You wouldn’t come to me this early unless you needed help filling out the roster- so. Spill.”

Kaz let out a short sigh. Nina Zenik was one of the most talented Forgers in the business, and one of the most infuriatingly perceptive people he ever met. Usually, he liked to keep his time around her limited, for that reason exactly. But she was on his payroll, and he wasn’t about to chance a job like this.

“Jesper-”

“Is on Point too. Yes. You know how much you’ve ruined me for a normal team? No one else uses two Points.” Nina rolled her eyes again, exasperated, before picking up her fork to take another bite from her plate. “Architect? Chemist? You are using a Chemist, aren’t you?”

“Nina…” Usually, Kaz would have snapped back at someone using that kind of tone with him. Inej knew that much. And he appreciated, in a separated sort of way, her trying to check the other girl. But Kaz shook his head, once, letting her know he didn’t need it.

“I have a Chemist.” Kaz reached under the table, pulling another folder from his briefcase and tossing it towards Nina. She reached for it and flipped through, curious, before arching a brow.

“This is an embarrassingly thin background check for you, Brekker.”

“That’s all the information you need to know.”

Nina sighed, clearly annoyed but not surprised with his decision. “Fine, but I’ve never worked with this...Wylan. Before. Haven’t even heard of him around the dreaming circles. You sure he’s up for the job?”

Kaz picked up his coffee, taking a sip. “He has a new compound he’s been working on. It opens the mark up for heightened suggestions.”

“While dreaming?” Nina was immediately curious, and Kaz made note to watch Wylan’s job intake moving forward. He didn’t need Nina Zenik taking jobs out from under him with the possibilities Wylan’s drug could open up.

He nodded. “It’s a compound that keeps the mark under, but leaves the senses up for suggestion. Smells, temperatures, the other dreamers’ subconscious- whatever you can think of. It enforces the architect’s map.”

“And deepens the story you build underneath.” Nina sounded impressed, almost excited. “You realize what this could mean, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Kaz answered, voice flat. “We all get paid.”

Inej snorted, near-imperceptibly, and Nina shook her head. “You’re impossible.”

“I’m efficient and successful.”

“Impossibly so.”

“We’re still looking for an Architect.” Inej added in, setting her tea cup down on the table as the taller girl kicked her feet up on the only empty chair, getting comfortable as she picked through the case file. The file itself was nondescript, save for the colorless embossed crow in the bottom left corner. That had been Inej’s idea, when they started this so long ago. And people said Kaz had a flair for the dramatics. Inej glanced towards Kaz, the look telling him not to argue, before her eyes returned to Nina. “Do you know anyone who might be up for this?”

Nina tilted her head back and forth, her eyes passing over the pages that Kaz and Inej had so painstakingly collected together. Paperclipped to the inside flap was a school photo, about five years old, of a bright, grinning young boy. Written along the bottom of the photo in Inej’s clean-cut handwriting was the name “Kuwei Yul-Bo.”

The room was silent for a few seconds as Nina continued to read and think. Kaz was about to comment on it, about to tell her we don’t have all day, when she finally spoke.

“I have a guy who would work.”

Inej and Kaz passed a look between the two of them before Inej replied. “A guy?”

Nina folded a paper over the top of the folder, still reading. “Yes. I’ll need to talk to him first, but he’s good.”

Kaz thought he knew where she was going with this, and he didn’t particularly like it. “He needs to be more than good.”

Nina glared at Kaz over the top of the folder before returning to her reading. “He won’t want the money, though.”

“Everyone wants something.”

Nina was silent for the next few moments, and Kaz finished his mug of coffee. He needed to get more work done tonight before he caught a jet to Marrakech to track Jesper down. Inej, sensing his restlessness, spoke up. “Nina…”

Abruptly, she closed the file, nodding once to herself. “Let me handle it. Where are we meeting?”

“Edinburgh, seven days.” Kaz rose to stand, grinding his teeth at the sharp pain that drove up his leg. It was going to be a long night. Nina nodded, and Kaz pushed his chair away, reaching for his cane.

“You still have connections with the Russian embassy, yeah?”

Kaz looked back to her, face impassive. He asked “Why?” at the same time Inej answered “Yes.”

Nina simply nodded. “I’ll see you in Scotland, then.”

---

Jesper was never hard to find. Not when Kaz put his mind to it.

“I was turning things around, Kaz. One more hand-”

“And you would have lost the rest of whatever money you suckered some loan shark into giving you.” Kaz didn’t so much as look back to Jesper when he responded, his pace set. He could hear Jesper keeping up, though a few steps behind.

“I wasn’t-”

Kaz turned, sharply, into a back alley. The shit-hole apartment Jesper was keeping was just under half a mile away, but Kaz’s patience was fraying and their jet was leaving in three hours.

Jesper followed, breathing hard, and came to an abrupt stop when Kaz did. They were far enough from the street that they didn’t have to worry about being overhead, but Kaz’s voice was low when he turned to face him.

“When was the last time you took a job?”

Jesper’s face paled. “Kaz, I-”

“Last time, Jesper. When was it?”

Jesper’s vest was fraying along the edges. Loud silk patterns over louder colored shirts. Once upon a time, Jesper’s clothes were worth something. Finely tailored, expensive fabrics, well fitting. Now those same clothes were obviously worn, dulled and ripped, held together with haphazard stitching. Five o’clock shadow had changed the planes of Jesper’s face, but Kaz couldn’t tell yet if that was from malnutrition or something worse.

The last time Kaz reached out to Jesper for a job had been eight months ago. When he’d botched a forgery so badly they’d all nearly been stuck in a South African jail for the rest of their lives.

Jesper rubbed the back of his neck, guilty eyes searching everywhere else in the alleyway. Kaz waited, gloved hands wrapped around the crow’s head of his cane. After a moment, the other man sighed. “Ah- the last um. Cape Town.”

Kaz didn’t react. He had known the answer before he asked. “Have you gone under since then?”

“Kaz, I’m so-”

“Have you gone under, Jesper. Yes or no.”

He frowned, deflating. “Yes.”

Kaz’s brow arched, waiting for him to continue.

“It was once, Kaz. They have a den in the east neighborhood. I had a bad night, went under, and that was that.”

“And you haven’t gone back again?”

Understanding crossed Jesper’s face at that question, and the guilty look deepened. Dreaming, when you knew enough about how to do it intentionally, was addictive. Dangerously so. PASIV dens had started cropping up in major cities all around the world - Kaz himself had a working one in Amsterdam that paid handsomely. But the blurring of reality and dreams got harder, the more used to the drug you became.

Kaz had kept tabs on Jesper for eight months. He had more eyes in this city than any others. It was an investment of time, and of favors, and Kaz waited for Jesper’s answer.

Jesper’s jaw tightened as he stood a bit straighter where he was. He matched Kaz’s eyes, intentionally and stubbornly.

“No. Only once.”

Kaz didn’t actually need Jesper to answer the question. He already knew the truth. But still, he saw what he needed to see in that look and nodded, once. “I have a job for you.”

It would have been impossible not to see the hope cross Jesper’s eyes. “A job?”

“Jet leaves in two hours for Edinburgh. Be on it.” Kaz turned, then, heading for the street. His car would be turning the corner in the next few moments and he wanted to be off his feet. He’d made it to the side of the road when Jesper called back out.

“Kaz-”

Kaz paused, not turning back to him but obviously listening. He could hear Jesper let out a sigh.

“Thanks.”

There was no acknowledgement that he heard it, as a black car came to a stop along the sidewalk and Kaz got in.

---

The first crime Kaz Brekker committed was at the age of six. He and his brother had snuck out of their foster home and broke into a nearby house, raiding the freezer and eating as much ice cream as they could find.

Kaz had felt nauseous for two days after. Jordie had told him everything you want in life has a price.

They had been sent to the detention center when Kaz was eleven. He and Jordie had been running jobs for a small gang, taking packages back and forth between warehouses. Neither of them had known what was in the packages. Neither of them had thought to check. They were two orphans without job prospects and futures left for them, and the gang had given them a home. It had ended with both of them found guilty by the city and - thanks to a young, talented defense attorney and a bleeding heart judge - put into the same detention center together.

Enrollment into the PASIV testing program had been optional, with an increased possibility of decreased time. Think about it, Kaz. Jordie had told him, eyes bright. All we have to do is sleep. How hard could it be?

Harder than they imagined. Harder than they could have ever dreamed.

--

Kaz liked Edinburgh. There was a kind of significance to the dark smudges across the buildings. Stains left behind from years of progression, coal, smoke - proof that from what there had been, there is now more. More than that, the marks and stains were proof - proof that it had survived. Proof that it still stood.

Plus - the weather suited him just fine - clouded skies, slight chill, usually dreary. It left him in pain more often than not, but again, a price to pay. His leg was something of a reminder for him now, so even on the bad days, he could handle it just fine. And no one looked twice at his dark wool coat or his tall collar. He was just another businessman, just another body in the masses.

The warehouse was just outside the city, northwest of the city center. A large, two story structure that had - at one point in its life - been used for shipping containers. These days it sat mostly empty, owned by a local businessman, who forgot it existed more often than not.

Kaz has similar set-ups all over the world - a little bit of cash for safety reasons.

He arrived about four hours before the rest of the team was set to be there, but Inej had already started making the main floor home - setting chairs and equipment and tables up in a familiar pattern. She didn’t so much as acknowledge him when he stepped inside, swaying very gently to the notes of a hummed song that Kaz couldn’t quite make out.

For a few moments, he let himself watch her, staying back in the shadows, near invisible in the slowly retreating light. She had always been beautiful, a dancer even now, and it was only in the comfort of these shadows that Kaz ever let himself think as much.

And then the moment passed, and Kaz stepped out into the spacious room. Inej, hearing his movement in the corner, still did not look up.

“Running diagnostics. I’ll need a few more hours.”

Kaz continued towards the back corner, where a storage room and small office sat. “No one is supposed to arrive until after dark.” Both a reconfirmation of orders and a silent acknowledgement of her own early presence. He did not turn to look, but he imagined Inej smiling softly, shrugging once in her dark sweater.

“I prefer working in sunlight.”

He snorted, and if Inej hadn’t been smiling before, she surely would be now. But Kaz didn’t continue the banter, approaching the door to the office and quickly picking the lock. No one - not even Kaz - had the keys to this back room. It was his own form of security.

“Jesper’s coming, then?” Inej had to raise her voice a bit to echo across the space, and it gave Kaz a moment’s pause. A brief moment of tension.

Inej knew about Jesper’s last job. Knew what it cost them, knew how Kaz had reacted. A part of Kaz assumed Inej had most likely been keeping tabs on the sharpshooter, where he was and what he was up to, but she’d never be obvious about it. Not to Kaz.

He thought back to the jet ride. To the couple of hours he spent watching the anxious bouncing of Jesper’s knee. He’d dropped him off at a discreet hotel on the other side of the city. Told him to read, research, rest, and to be there on time.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

And Kaz stepped inside the office, letting the door slam shut behind him.

--

The first time Kaz dreamt, his eyes opened to an open field. The grass was swaying gently around him, reaching up to a cloudless, bright sky. It felt like home, but in that distant, distinct way that was never his. And never would be.

Somewhere, he could hear Jordie’s laughter. An echo along the wind.

But it was warm. It was peaceful. It was safe.

It wasn’t real.

“Well done. We’ll move on to the next testing phase.”

Kaz should have spent longer there. Should have lingered. A part of him wondered if he could ever go back, but he knew better. Had always, in a detached sort of way, known better. That he would never be welcome. That he would never return.

That was Jordie’s dream.

--

From his office, Kaz could hear everyone arrive. Jesper was first - good - with a loud, happy greeting for Inej. She returned the greeting in kind, and Kaz caught himself leaning a bit too much into the noise. Excited chatter, Jesper’s wolf whistle, and then a laugh. He pushed it away and got back to work until he heard the door open again.

Nina’s voice was the next one to echo through the space- greetings, more laughter, a few jokes at Jesper’s expense. Kaz did not hear anyone else among them, which meant that Nina’s architect hadn’t come with her.

She’d given him very little information - the basics for what he’d needed to know to let her bring someone in - so Kaz was curious. Matthias Helvar was a name he’d heard before, but only in connection with the military sector of the PASIV program. Nina had sworn it’d be worth at least talking to him, but Kaz was still wary.

Wary enough that he’d pulled up all the information on him that he could find. He felt better knowing he was walking into this with Mattias’ record, a copy of the warrant out for his arrest, and the knowledge of exactly who he’d need to contact in the Scottish government if deportation was in order.

When the door opened the third time, Kaz stood, collecting the rest of the files to be distributed to the team just as Jesper’s voice made it to his office.

“Oh hello there, darling. I don’t think we’ve met. My name’s-”

“Jesper-” Inej cut in, and Kaz opened the door, crossing the room to join the others. “This is Wylan, our chemist. Wylan, this is Jesper and Nina, who will be Point and Forger, respectively.” That wasn’t the first time that Inej has done the introductions. Kaz found it simpler if new team members met each other with Inej’s more peaceful demeanor. It started everything off more efficiently.

Wylan was young, Kaz knew that when he hired him into the job. And he looked all the part of his twenty years. Wide eyed, in over his head as he stood with the other three. “Point?” He looked from Jesper to Inej. “I thought you were Point.”

“I utilize two Points during my extractions.” Kaz broke into the circle, stepping past Inej to drop the stack of folders on the counter next to the PASIV container. Wylan jumped at his appearance, and Kaz could hear Jesper chuckle.

“Oh.”

“It’s not normal.” Nina chimed in, pushing off from where she’d been leaning back against a couple of stacked crates. He didn’t need to be watching her to know she was rolling her eyes. “Most teams have one Point and one Extractor.”

“We don’t take Tourists, either.” Inej added in easily.

Nina snorted. “Okay, sure, but no good team takes Tourists anymore.”

“Not true. Roddy takes them along all the time. You’ve seen how much people will pay to be part of the action.” Jesper dragged a chair from one of the surrounding tables, turning and settling with his arms crossed along the back. “You can double your pay bringing one sorry son of a bitch along for the ride.”

“You just like gambling with your jobs, Jes. No one who actually has a reputation brings tourists.”

“Ouch, Zenik. Low blow.”

Wylan’s eyes moved between the two of them like he was watching a tennis match, and Kaz felt a low grade migraine beginning to form. He hated these first meetings, especially with any new members added. They involved too much repetition and got very little done compared to what would get them paid. He was exhausted already, and they were still missing one.

Inej came to stand next to him, straightening the files he’d dropped. They stood like that for a moment, listening to Jesper and Nina bicker, until Inej leaned in a bit closer. “I haven’t heard anything from the Architect.”

He looked over to Nina, who was laughing at something Jesper was saying. When she noticed his eyes were on her, she met his look with a serious one of her own, mouthing he will be here. Wait. Kaz pulled up his hand, tapping one gloved finger against the face of his watch, and Nina rolled her eyes at him again.

After a moment, Kaz answered Inej with a low whisper, “We’re not waiting for him.” He tapped his cane on the concrete floor, a crisp thwick, thwick, thwick. Everyone’s eyes turned to him and he watched a frown pull at Nina’s mouth.

“Some of you I’ve briefed on the nature of the job. Others I haven’t. Here-” Kaz gestured to the files that Inej had straightened. “Is all the information we have that you’ll need to know. Anything we uncover during prep will be disseminated appropriately.” Nina and Jesper had both worked jobs with Kaz before, and barely so much as blinked when he began to speak. Wylan, on the other hand, looked lost. Entirely and completely without direction.

Kaz could feel the migraine growing at the base of his skull. He took a short breath as he turned to the Chemist.

“If you have questions - Wylan - ask Inej. I don’t have time for them.” And then back to the group. “This is going to be a very different job. For one- we’ll have two novices with us.”

“Matthias is not a novice, I told you-”

Kaz grestured to cut her off. “He’s a novice to this, Zenik-”

“He’s been dreaming just as long as you have, Brekker.”

“As a soldier with a confidential history that you haven’t looked into, and-”

“He’s a soldier who was legally dreaming with the military, of course his background is locked up!”

“And he’s late.”

Nina opened her mouth to argue, but the words caught in her throat. Kaz’s brows lifted at her, expectantly waiting for an excuse, and when none came he nodded. Once. Point made.

Jesper whistled and Inej thunked his shoulder with the back of her hand. “Not helping.”

“Um.”

The four of them turned to look at Wylan, who was pointing towards the warehouse door. It was dark enough out that the figure in the doorway was impossible to make out. But when said figure noticed everyone turned to see them, they started in, heading closer to the light. Kaz noted the tight clip to their walk. The militaristic way they held their shoulders.

“Nice of you to join us, Sergeant Helvar.” Kaz turned back to the group, gesturing for one of the empty chairs. “If you can hurry up, we may be able to actually get started.”

The figure slowly came into the inner ring of light, showing his closely cropped blond hair and strong jaw. Kaz wondered, for a brief moment, if they were genetic traits or if the military only went after a singular type of figure. But the thought passed as quickly as it had appeared.

Nina smiled, sitting up a little straighter. Matthias glared at every single one of them before finding the only open seat and settling. An elongated pause followed as everyone sized each other up before Inej - graceful Inej - coughed.

“Right.” Kaz continued, as if on cue. “We have two novices with us. And an untested drug.”

Simultaneous, and most likely the most in sync they would ever be, Jesper, Nina, and Matthias all asked in unison- “A what?” Wylan, at the same time as well, blanched.

And so Kaz gestured to him. “Wylan is a new Chemist, has never been under, but has a history of complicated compounds. Due to the nature of this job, he’s creating a new solution. Wylan, why don’t you explain.”

The eyes all turned to Wylan - in his university sweater and terrified eyes. Kaz gestured, when Wylan didn’t immediately start explaining, and he sat up a little straighter.

“The theory- I mean, because it’s just a theory. I won’t actually know-”

“I don’t have time for your confidence issues. Now.”

Wylan swallowed thickly before a new set to his jaw settled. “It’s a different type of combination effect. Rather than the rigid system that’s been built, it allows for suggestions from the outside world as well as the dreamers.”

“You mean like the projections?” Nina asked, suddenly leaning a bit more towards Wylan, curious. She’d gotten the explanation from Kaz, sure, but actually having the Chemist in person always excited her.

“No.” Wylan shook his head. “It’s more like if you had multiple Architects, under one level. Each of the dreamers will supply the world, and it will build over itself in an attempt to bring it all together. ”

“So like limbo.”

Jesper’s voice quieted the conversation for the few moments, the weight of what he was implying heavy in the air. Kaz was not the only dreamer amongst them who had been to limbo, and therefore the implications of a regular dream being anything similar didn’t fit well.

“Um.” Wylan, uncertainly, looked to Kaz. When Kaz nodded, Wylan nodded as well. “I guess- yeah. Each of the dreamers will have an equal say on how the world functions, what projections appear, and how the world evolves as we go.”

“Which-” Inej cut in, taking control of the conversation just as the tension started to expand to an incurable point. “Means we’ll all need to be synchronized on our vision. The plan, the layout, everything. It’s part of why we have two points-” She looked to Jesper and gave him a small smile. “And part of why we’re starting prep so much earlier than normal. We need to be a united front. A team.”

Nina snorted, and didn’t bother to hide it. Inej gave her a pointed but pleading look, and Nina let out a breath in response. Kaz, on the other hand, watched the way Wylan was worrying the sleeve of his sweater.

“There’s something else.”

“Better be good news.” Jesper chimed in, trying to lighten the mood. Wylan seemed to lose more color (a feat of will, Kaz assumed) and everyone got quiet once more.

“It’s not.” Wylan coughed, then straightened his back once more - resigning himself for whatever response was to follow. “It’s not bad news, either, really. It’s just something to be aware of.” He looked to the group, before his eyes fell back on Kaz - who hadn’t turned his own away from the boy since the beginning of this conversation. It could be Kaz’s imagination, the pointedness to Wylan’s words, but there was something there. “Because of how much the dream will depend on us all equally, it will also affect the dreams in turn. When dreamers go under, there is a part of your brain that remembers that this is a dream. That’s the same part of your brain that loses connectivity, when you fall into limbo. That’s why it’s so easy to get lost down there.” He swallowed, as if building up the nerve. “In the same way the compound opens up the mark for suggestion to the dream, it will open each of the dreamers. And if the dreamers don’t kick themselves out...”

The silence following only lasted a moment before Jesper - always Jesper - broke it. “If they don’t…?”

Kaz could feel Inej’s eyes on him. Secret, unassuming, but with purpose. Kaz ignored them, the grip around the head of his cane tightening.

What’s the point of waking up, when your dreams can look like this?

“It means-” Kaz broke in, the tightness to his voice hovering just under the surface. “The team is just as susceptible to losing themselves in the reality of the dream as the mark.” A beat. “It means that we have just as much of a chance of getting lost in the dream and being unable to ride the kick. Just like limbo.”

Everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath in turn. When Kaz got fed up with the tension, he pushed himself to stand, favoring his good leg.

“I sure hope you’re all in control of your mind enough to survive. The money won’t help you if you’re in a coma.”

And with that, he turned back to his office, feeling their eyes on the back of his neck.

Think about it, Kaz.

He left the rest of the night to Inej.

---

The first time Kaz Brekker shot a gun was in a dream.

It was probably a bit backwards, assigning low level juvenile delinquents to a program that taught them how to create, handle, and fire automatic weapons. Even more so when the skills that had gotten them into the detention center in the first place were the most valuable while they were under.

Jordie was much better with the weapons than Kaz had been. It could have been his size, or simply the fact Kaz didn’t like how much attention they drew. He preferred the actual search and seizure.

The program was designed to test the limits of the dream. Because while the origins of the dreaming program were meant for soldiers, in order to effectively test those limits, you needed a control group who had less eyes on them and less to lose if it didn’t work. A couple of soldiers might not attract attention, but when the state wanted to keep testing even after it was ruled an illegal trade? That’s where the detention centers came in.

These tests came in the form of puzzles. Tests that had to be done by completing a task. A lot of these tasks involved finding items hidden in a variety of different settings - cities, forests, deserts, small towns. Each of the children were given items they could use at first, but then  encouraged to come up with their own as they ‘leveled up’. They started off with things like baseball bats, crowbars, shotguns. Then graduated onto maces, medieval swords, battle axes. Items that would help them during the tests themselves.

And those tests could range - some involved finding hidden targets - folders, trinkets, answers, items. Others pitted the children against each other - games of chase, of tag. Over time, these tasks grew in severity and complexity. Winners would have days taken off their sentence. Losers, days added. They picked up on tips and tricks that some of the kids had known going in - guns were useful for range, but loud, drew a lot of attention. Knives were more easily hidden but less effective at long range. Axes could be customized, bows and arrows could be more quiet, and some of them were better at longer games of survival than others.

The first person Kaz Brekker murdered had broken Jordie’s nose during dinner earlier that week. Kaz had missed his chest, the shot landing somewhere in the boy’s stomach, and Kaz stood over him as he begged to be woken up. That he didn’t mean it. That it hurt. That, near the end of it, he was sorry. Kaz watched, unblinking, for the five minutes it took the boy to die.

That boy never bothered Jordie during lunch, again. Or Kaz, for that matter. Very few of the children did.

They settled into a kind of rhythm - Kaz was better at the puzzles and Jordie was better at the people. Who to talk to, what projections were worth keeping alive. As a team, they were unstoppable. Separate, they were unforgiving. And the memories of what they did - real or not - were a heavy weight the two of them bore together.

Kaz remembers watching Jordie, gun in hand, jaw quivering as he tried not to cry. Kaz remembers the searing pain of a subconscious’ knife tearing into his stomach and leaving him to bleed out. Kaz remembers the rush of a successful theft and the joy of a job well done and the crushing, suffocating disappointment of waking up, his eyes fluttering open to low popcorn ceilings and wrist cuffs and fluorescent lighting.

Kaz remembers most vividly the image of the light fading from Jordie’s eyes each time they opened in the same room, leaving a little less of himself there to be woken up.

Years later, Kaz had done research into what happened to the program after he’d gotten out. What they were testing for and what kind of results it produced. There was information on the associated companies, how concentrated it had been on their area, and then the names of the individuals brought on. Where they went when they completed the program and were released. Who survived the testing, gotten out, had a life.

Or, more specifically, who hadn’t.

---

Kaz did not like running any of the prep meetings. He saw very little use in the dramatics behind explaining what Inej had put so much time into collecting in each of their folders. Each job that Kaz ran came with a certain set of expectations - of time, of attention, of professionalism, of when to show up and when to perform. Kaz did not run meetings, that was part of Inej’s responsibilities, which made Nina and Jesper’s look of immediate shock a valid response. Annoying, but called for.

He dropped another file - appearing identical to the others - down on the desk. Papers and reports and photographs were scattered around it, and though it barely made any noise at all, everyone went silent.

“We start test runs on Thursday.” He explained, leaning a bit more heavily on his cane as he settled into a nearby chair. Wylan’s eyes went wide at that, and Matthias’ attention shot towards Nina. It was to be expected - it had been less than a week since they began their preparations - but Kaz paid no mind to the obvious hesitation in each of them. “The layout of the dream will need to be complete by then. I take it you can manage that much, Helvar.”

Matthias’ eyes finally pulled away from Nina, turning his cold gaze onto Kaz as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Do I have a choice?”

“No.” Kaz turned to Wylan. “Compound testing will start next week, as well. It will need to be strong enough for all of us to go under at once, and for the dreamer to hold the map.”

“Kaz-” Inej sounded concerned, stepping in to take Kaz’s attention away from the paling Chemist. Probably for the best. He didn’t want to chance Wylan passing out and losing a day of work. “You told me we’d have a month before going under, why are you shortening my timeline?”

He leaned back in his chair, hearing the wood creak under his weight. Dark shadows clung to the beams that held up the warehouse roof.Along the blocked-out windows he could hear the distant sound of rain on glass. The space heaters they’d brought in kept the center of the room warm enough that the chill didn’t stick, but it was getting colder. Fall was settling in.

“Things have changed.” Inej didn’t like that answer, judging by the way her jaw tensed, and Kaz shrugged. “Kuwei’s father just passed. The funeral is in three days, and Kuwei has decided to take some time off from his classes. He is planning to backpack across Europe. We have six weeks.”

Nobody said anything for a long moment. Originally, he’d planned for plenty of time for testing, for trials and errors. Originally, the whole job was going to take them about five months, potentially more. There were now too many moving parts and no time to control them all, and Kaz hated every second of it.

The clock was getting louder. Closer. Faster.

“Six weeks.” Inej repeated, glancing to Jesper, who shrugged back to her. It was an impossible task, for all of them. Kaz knew that. Kaz knew that even on their best days, six weeks was pushing it.

“Yes.” His team traded looks, uncertain and hesitant and afraid, and Kaz let out a short breath. “Which is why I’m coming too.” Wylan and Matthias didn’t understand why Inej, Jesper, and Nina’s attentions all snapped back to him. They kept looking between the others, hoping to find an answer in Nina’s slacked jaw.

It was Jesper who finally broke the silence. “You’re joking, aren’t you.” A beat. “This has to be a joke.”

“Kaz Brekker doesn’t have a joking bone in his body.” Nina didn’t take her eyes from Kaz, so when he lifted his own to her, she was staring directly at him. He could feel Inej grow tenser at his side, but he didn’t need to see her to know what she was thinking.

Kaz regarded the Forger for a moment, and then a moment longer, as if waiting for her to test him. To say too much, and cross a line. Nina, as if aware of his silent challenge, said nothing.

“Kaz…” It was Inej, closer to his side now, voice barely a whisper so the others couldn’t hear. “Do you really think that’s…”

He did not have time for this conversation.

“Wylan. Update the equation. There will be six of us.”

Startled out of his trance, Wylan’s voice cracked a bit around the word. “Six?”

Kaz nodded, once, tapping his cane on the cement floor beneath it. “Six. We’re all going under. It’s the most efficient way to keep complete control over the setting.”

“B-but you told me three? I don’t have enough-”

“Double it, then.” Kaz was losing his patience. “I already purchased the supplies. And Helvar- you’re going to have Wylan help you with the layout. I want sketches in twenty four hours.” Matthias jumped, though it was nearly imperceptible.

“What? Why?”

“If you have the time to ask, you’re running behind.” Kaz reached back over his shoulder to grab the folder, handing it to Inej who quickly read through the articles, absorbing the information before she shook her head as she handed it off to Matthias.

Kaz didn’t wait to see if Matthias would look at the information, because it didn’t really matter. “Zenik, you and Jesper are going under tonight. Inej has a PASIV set up.”

“Yeah-” Jesper cut in. “So Nina could practice her aliases.”

“Not tonight. The Russian over there is a decent enough Architect, maybe, but he has the imagination of the arctic tundra.” Nina winced, but didn’t argue. Kaz continued. “It will work for some, but not the entire level. You two are going to have to pick up some more flair if we want this to work. Plus, we don’t have time to work out kinks. You haven’t really dreamed in eight months, Jesper, and I will not accept mistakes because you’re out of practice.” That shut Jesper up, and when Nina didn’t chime in to fill the space, Kaz gestured over to the PASIV set-up, where he’d left a pile of more folders. More information. More research. “Four sets, four cities. Inej is going to check your work when you’re done.”

Kaz could feel it in Nina’s eyes - resentment, and an unspoken snark. Eight months isn’t two years, Brekker. You should be the one practicing. But Kaz didn’t allow her the time to speak, turning his back to the two of them, ending the conversation and turning to his work.

When there was a moment of silence following, he looked back to everyone - annoyed. Impatient. He motioned towards the PASIV with his cane. “Go, you heard the deadline.” And then he turned back to his desk.

With his back to the room, he couldn’t watch each of them move off to their separate corners. But he could still feel Inej’s presence settling at his side. When he glanced to his right, she was leaning against the desk, arms crossed, staring back out into the rest of the team.

“This wasn’t what we agreed to.”

“Plans change, Wraith.”

“Not yours.”

Kaz didn’t bother responding to that, looking through the material they’d already set out on the table. Early sketches, profiles, photographs. He kept looking, moving and stacking pages together where they went, when Inej’s voice dropped again to that whisper.

“Is this really a good idea?”

Inej knew why Kaz hadn’t gone on the last couple of years worth of jobs. Had been on the last job Kaz had gone under for, and had seen the way the world had fallen apart around them. The darkness, the smell of death, the chaos of an unseen assailant. Knowing Inej, she had probably seen Jordie as well. A face in the corner of all of Kaz’s dreams.

Kaz found what he was looking for, a stack of photographs of a young boy and his father on vacation. Kaz’s eyes fell to the cover of the book in the boy’s hand. He stood.

“Doesn’t matter. The decision has been made.” He passed the photo to Inej, who glanced it over - a photo she’s seen a hundred times. “Give that to Matthias. See what he can make of that book.”

Inej frowned at him. “Kaz-”

But he was gone before she could finish.

--

“It’s not meant to hold this many dreamers.” Wylan’s voice shook- both with strain, emotion, and exhaustion. He was scared, but he was also annoyed. Kaz idly found himself wondering what he would be like when he snapped.

“Unfortunately, Wylan, that’s why you’re here. To make it hold this many dreamers.” Kaz settled into the leather armchair that Inej had gotten Jesper and Matthias to drag inside for their practice sessions. Due to the fact the dream itself would have to last hours longer than normal, she found it important to bring some comfort to the process.

Kaz, with expert fingers, slipped the needle into his arm. Inej was sleeping next to him, and Nina next to her. Then it was Matthias, and then Jesper. They’d been under with the four of them a few times now, with varied results. But this would be the first time Kaz would be under with them, and Wylan was visibly nervous.

“I haven’t had enough time to prep-”

“You’re preparing now.” Kaz flicked the vein in his arm, pulling his leg up onto the footstool and settling into the cushions. Kaz closed his eyes, forcing the tension out of his limbs and shoulders. “Make sure you get it right.”

And then he was under, a blink of an eye and darkness. Emptiness. The loss of self. Of everything around him.

The sensation was familiar enough - the feeling of falling, the feeling of loss, the panic and the warmth and the familiarity of a reality that is not, wholly, yours.

Kaz opened his eyes in the middle of a storm. It was freezing, ice and snow and shards of rock flying around him. Distantly, he could hear Nina yelling. A part of the earth around them shot up into the sky, and Kaz noticed someone who had to be Matthias knocked to the ground. Nina jumped off to the side, avoiding another piece of earth and ice.

Jesper was somewhere in the flurry, screaming “What the hell is this?”

And Inej, who Kaz found immediately at the sound of her voice. “Some kind of earthquake!”

“No.” Nina’s voice sounded guilty. Like she knew exactly what was happening, and as if she was standing right next to him. “We’re under attack.”

This was supposed to be a simple creation dream. They had started to decide on the layout, on the general weather. It was going to be in the north, a kind of tundra (had to make it easy for Helvar, after all). It would be an empty landscape, it would have weather, and that was that. It was supposed to be a trial run of the compound, not an event-heavy training dream.

“I need a distraction!” Jesper was still out there somewhere, in the sleet and rocks and wind.

“Get down!” Wylan’s voice - which meant he was here now, too. Had followed Kaz under like he was told to. Officially, they were six under with the new compound. Kaz tried to feel satisfied with how it was working. Proud, in a way, that Wylan’s chemistry panned out. But when he looked around to find the boy, his eyes fell to Inej, who was signalling to him. A familiar look.

He settled back against a large rock slab, settling his weight, threading his fingers together. Inej started running, and in half a moment, she used his hands as a springboard to get over the slab of rock keeping them held together.

There was more screaming, shots rang out, and then the storm started to settle. Kaz, now able to see more than five feet around himself, took a look at the scenery. The location. The damage. They were all in costume, different clothes and different looks that, somehow, still managed to fit the feel.

Another explosion. Another rock fell. And then the six of them started to collect.

Nina looked haunted, exhausted, and Matthias was helping her to her feet. Jesper was checking the pistols in his hands, like he was truly enjoying them for the first time, and Wylan looked both terrified and pleased with himself.

Once they were all in ear shot and Inej had returned, Nina brushed off the front of her red...he assumes it’s a robe. Some kind of cloak.

“What was that?” Jesper finally asked, sliding his pistols back into the holsters at his hip.

“That was...me.” Nina admitted, out of breath. “I don’t know why. I usually have more control over this kind of thing.”

“It’s the compound.” Wylan admitted, just as guilty. “It’s stronger than I thought. It’s something to know going forward, too. If we all are going to be able to bring in this level of chaos-”

“You all need to train your subconscious more strictly.” Matthias muttered, with a hand still at the small of Nina’s back. “We can’t deal with that during the mission. Right, demon?”

But Matthias’ voice was a little too far off for Kaz to really hear him. Too far away for him to notice everyone’s eyes turned to him. Instead, he was staring off to the horizon. To a single dark shape right outside of his vision. Inej, who approached him then, tugged at his sleeve.

“Kaz.”

He blinked, pulling himself from the trance. Inej was staring at him. As was Matthias, and Nina. Jesper and Wylan were fumbling with the pistols and the explosives split between them, unaware, and Kaz was momentarily thankful for that.

There was another set of eyes on the back of his neck, Kaz knew, but he forced himself to keep attention here. To ignore the slowly building feeling of panic that started bubbling at his gut.

“We’ll need to up the practice times. Everyone needs to be comfortable being this open.” The irony was not lost on him, no, but he didn’t need that look from Inej, either. “Now- get settled. We need to start building together. Wylan-” Wylan jumped, turning his attention to Kaz like a student being reprimanded. Kaz motioned to the wreckage around them. “This is your compound. Show us how to use it.”

Wylan nodded, stepping in closer to Matthias and Nina to start explaining some of the finer details, and the conversation moved. Kaz could still feel Inej’s eyes on him, which is why he found himself jerking his arm away. “I’m fine.” He muttered under his breath.

Inej, suspicious, simply nodded and turned to the others.

When Kaz looked back to the horizon, the figure was gone. But in its place was the barest brush of a warm wind. The smell of grass. A shining, bright blue.

This is Jordie’s dream.

---

The first time Kaz watched Jordie die, it was at his own hands.

It was an accident. Jordie wasn’t supposed to be the body on the other side of the door. Kaz had been hunting, running from the fear of something following him. He’d been prepared to protect himself. Do anything necessary to protect himself.

Jordie, later, admitted he didn’t know it was Kaz he was hunting. There had been this need to find whatever was running from him. This urge to collect it. Save it. End it.

There was so much blood. Warm, and sticky, and thick. Jordie’s face was surprised, before it lost all color, and he crumbled into him. Kaz, terrified, unsure, panicked, young, desperately trying to press at the gushing blood like if he could just make it stop it’ll be fine.

When they woke, Jordie had promised him it was fine. It wasn’t the first time he died. Wasn’t the first time he’d been attacked.

It had taken three weeks for Kaz’s hands to stop feeling sticky. Stop feeling warm.

He still wore gloves, to this day, to protect himself from the feeling.

---

The breakdown of the dream was supposed to be as followed:

STEP ONE: Get Kuwei under.

This has been left to Inej. She was the only person Kaz could trust with access to his funds, and the professionalism needed while blackmailing.

She had been given the full length of the job to secure this step, and even with the shortened timeline and her annoyance with that limitation, she had it handled.

"A hostel?" Kaz's brow arched up at her, and Inej ignored his condensation.

"His first stop is in Sweden, but he is going to Amsterdam for a festival with some friends from his university. Four days. Everyone is staying in the same hostel." She dropped a stack of photos and a blueprint of room designs on his desk. "Co-ed rooms, four sets of bunk beds."

"I take it you bought out the room?"

"I bought out the floor." Inej looked down to the watch on her wrist as Kaz looked up to her. When she noticed him staring, Inej shrugged. "It was more efficient. And I was pressed for time."

Kaz felt his lip curl into a grin. "Not bad, Wraith."

Inej rolled her eyes as she turned to the door, leaving Kaz with a quick- “Don’t cut my timeline again, Kaz.” before leaving as silently as she'd entered.

STEP TWO: Convince Kuwei of the world.

The biggest problem with this job was simple: the mark was Kuwei Yul-Bo.

The only son to the first known Chemist. The only son to the man who not only built the dreaming world, but who left an indelible impact on how you dreamed. Before Bo Yul-Bayur, there was no real understanding of how to make the dream stable. Night terrors turned into manufactured nightmares where the chemistry of the brain couldn’t separate what was internal or external. It was chaos. It cost the first few testers their lives, and a lot of people a lot of money.

Enter internationally renowned chemical engineer Bo Yul-Bayur.

Finding sedatives that worked to keep sleeping bodies under but left the minds and imaginations stable enough to create and master the creation of dreams was his first step. The second and third involved his sudden removal from the board after a cross interaction with a couple of heads of state, his mysterious disappearance, and the widespread access to the chemical makeup and equation for his most successful solutions.

Bo Yul-Bayur could be single-handedly credited for creating the dreaming underground. Kaz owed him his life savings, and all the recognition and respect the world kept from him.

However, that also complicated the situation when it came to his son. And this was the only reason that Van Eck would have stooped down to asking for Kaz’s help.

Because sometimes your greatest asset is the fact you’re the only criminal insane enough to agree to the job.

Kuwei was, in every essence of the term, the Son of Dreaming. Which, for Kaz’s purposes, meant that a militarized subconscious was the very least of what they could expect.

Normal jobs, and a good portion of abnormal jobs, would end there - a militarized subconscious not only meant a quick death once you went under, but could - depending on the level of militarization - risk your sanity. It hadn’t been as dangerous in the first few stages of the dreaming underground, but as marks and rich men became more aware, the need for extra levels of protection grew.

That meant this job, Kaz’s job, would have to be out of the box. It would have to be undefined. Beyond abnormal.

“Let me get this straight-” Nina pressed her fingers to her temple, her voice cutting directly into Kaz’s explanation. “You want Kuwei to be the one building, and populating, and creating the dream?”

Kaz felt everyone’s equally concerned eyes turn to him as they waited for his answer. It was raining (it almost always was this time of year in Edinburgh) and Kaz’s leg (as it tended to do) ached. But that was only partially at blame for the sour look to his face. “Isn’t that what I just said, Zenik?”

Jesper leaned to his left towards Wylan and probably thought he was whispering when he explained, “Another word of advice- Kaz doesn’t like to repeat himself. Like. Ever.” He was, of course, loud enough for everyone to hear.

And Nina, as always, was unfazed by the look. “How do you think that’s going to work? We just go in unaware and unprepared into Kuwei Yul-Bo’s mind?”

“Nina-” Inej tried to mediate, but it was Matthias who spoke up.

“I didn’t sign up for a suicide mission.”

Jesper laughed. “You didn’t sign up for jack shit, Helvar.”

“I didn’t ask your opinion, Fahey.”

“Enough.”

The sharp edge of Kaz’s tone was enough to knock Wylan back a bit, the bottles around him clattering at his wince. It was an effective silencing tool, and everyone’s attention returned to Kaz, waiting for whatever explanation he would surely give.

“It will be his dream.” He confirmed. “But it will be our direction. Wylan’s compound-” Wylan blanched once again at the attention, but Kaz kept going. “Is going to open him up to suggestions. The more of us who are under, and who are going under with the same idea, the more Kuwei will accept it.”

“Which means,”  Inej stood, then, the sudden movement jerking them all out of the trance they’d fallen into. “We have to be in agreement when we go under. If any of us question the world, or what we find there, it will invite unrest.”

Wylan swallowed enough for it to echo up in the rafters. “U-unrest?”

“If he is the dreamer and questions the dream, we will end up sitting ducks.” Nina explained, still massaging her temple. “Why is this different from normal? We always go in with an understanding of the dream.”

“It’s more than an understanding. It’s a United Front.” Mattias muttered darkly. “You mean to tell me that you expect this group to be in step? Complete cohesion? You’re insane.”

“Then maybe you should get to work.”

STEP THREE: Work the narrative from the outside, inward.

The plan hinged on Kuwei’s subconscious accepting the dream as his own. But more than that, it hinged on Kuwei’s interest in it. In wanting to see the story play out. If he was distracted by the story, his subconscious would fill the necessary open safes with his secrets, and then it would be up to their work to find the information Van Eck was looking for.

Additionally, if Kuwei fully accepted the storyline, the projections - if given the opportunity - would be ample resource to find out what information it is that Kuwei was hiding.

Which meant that the majority of the dream would be a combination of a narrative to be played out and accepted, as well as an engaging enough setting that would allow complete acceptance of the world and its laws. Part of that involved Wylan’s new drug, and part of it involved the richness of the world itself.

The latest nights they pulled were in going over this aspect - refilled mugs of coffee and Jesper’s restless tapping pulling them through session after session.

And in the end, it was Kaz who broke through the initial hurdle, his eyes held tight to the file that Van Eck had given him as it laid open across his desk.

“Make it a heist.”

Nina and Matthias froze where they had been bickering, exhaustion and their exceedingly unnecessary sexual tension driving almost every disagreement to yelling. But it was Inej who sat up from her spot on the floor, turning to Kaz with a curious eye.

“A heist?”

Kaz nodded, once, and heard Jesper’s fidgeting freeze and felt Wylan’s eyes turn to him too. He tapped his finger on the file, though not for any kind of direction. “Kuwei likes adventure novels. And pirate stories.” It was in the research- Inej was always thorough. “So we make it an adventure. He’s been kidnapped-”

“Because of something he knows.” Nina joined in, picking up on the direction that Kaz was moving in and stepping in to take the seat to his left, leaning over the files on the table. “Something important, world altering, that no one else knows but these people are willing to do whatever it takes to find.”

“Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to be the pirate?” Jesper asked, looking from Nina to Kaz and then to Inej. “If he likes those kinds of stories, why would he dream-”

“Because the people you tend to admire in stories aren’t the ones you end up being in real life.” Wylan answered, having left his rustic laboratory in the corner to join them. “Your favorite characters aren’t usually the ones you identify with the most.”

Kaz nodded in agreement. “He’s an academic. Dreaming for a life of adventure, but never quite able to find it outside of books. He needs to be saved by the characters he idolizes.” Kaz paused, waiting to see if anyone would fill in what he was referring to.

“We’re not saving him.” Mattias’ low growl was obstinate, and Nina shot him a quick look. “What?”

“And so we- the heroes- show up and save him from his prison.” Jesper grinned, a kind of alight excitement burning behind his eyes. Kaz knew that look was dangerous- that look had gotten them both into nearly every problem they’d ever run into- but it was contagious.

“You know…” Inej was feeling it too, smiling when she caught Kaz’s eye. “This might just work.”

“Might?” Matthias cut in again. “We’re going to have to do a little better than might.”

“Oh, thank you for your contribution, Helvar.” Jesper cut back, even as he was grinning.

“Enough.” But despite it all, Kaz could feel it too. The excitement of a next step, the energy of movement. Progress. He turned to Matthias, expectant. “Now, tell me about this prison.”

STEP FOUR: Find the information required by the job.

Every dreaming job is different - it is why, as an industry, it attracts the more creative criminals. Some extractions are straightforward - bring a mark into a dream, build safes and rooms for the mark to fill, steal the file, get out without it appearing suspicious. In the early years of dreaming, and dream-theft, enough of the population did not know about PASIV devices or dreaming that you could go under without anyone realizing it was happening. But as it grew more popular, and as it grew more widely known and subconscious security became the norm, the art of the theft had to get more creative.

Gone were the days of a simple maze. Gone were the years that personal security was all that was needed to protect your mind. These days, Kaz Brekker got what he wanted by being creative. By thinking outside of the dream, and then the box, and then the space within that.

For this job, it was going to involve the prison. A heist (seeing as Kaz has found that hiding behind the obvious works well in dreams) to break Kuwei out. And buried within that narrative, the information. They would depend on the projections, too. They were looking for an actively hidden amount of information, information that would have gotten Kuwei taken - if the narrative is to be believed. They would find out from the projections that Kuwei would supply what the information is that they’re down there to take, find said information, and break Kuwei out.

Kaz, in deciding to join the active crew members and go under, would be tasked with the information itself. The story did not need him, though he would play whatever part would make the most sense and would create the least amount of resistance. But he was not necessary, and would instead spend his time doing what he has always done best.

Breaking into safes- or in this case, cells.

STEP FIVE: Play out the remaining dream-time without a kick.

This is where things got a little more complicated. They were only going under one level, which left them vulnerable to Kuwei, if he had any training at all, to notice the constructed nature. And since they were only going under one level, and to uphold the authenticity of the dream, they would not induce a kick.

It would keep them under for much longer than they were used to. It would force them to play out the roles with Kuwei’s presence. Whatever happened to the narrative of the dream would have to be upheld for days, maybe weeks, after the actual event.

This is where their flair for the dramatics would come in handy.

STEP SIX: Leave undetected.

If everything went as it was supposed to, the compound would leave Kuwei’s system with enough processing time that it would feel like an intense dream, and nothing more.

They would leave their rooms at errant intervals that worked with their stories, and they would all cover their own returns to Edinburgh. They would reconvene at the warehouse in one week’s time to receive payment and their exit meeting, and from there, would be on their way.

Another job completed. Another payment received.

---

The last time Jordie closed his eyes, Kaz had been mad at him. He remembers that much.

It had been about something stupid - one of the directors of the project, man by the name of Pekka Rollins had offered the brothers the chance to take part in testing a new compound. They would be the first humans it had been used on. There were dangers, there were always dangers, but Rollins promised years taken from their sentence and Jordie’s attention had been caught.

Kaz didn’t like the idea. Something about the man’s off-putting grin and well to do nature did not sit well with him. He tried to mention it to Jordie, that his gut didn’t trust the way Pekka Rollins had looked at them, but Jordie had snapped back.

We don’t really have a choice, do we? I don’t want to spend my life in jail, and time is running out.

Jordie had a point, which Kaz knew. Because of the way the tasks had worked, Kaz and Jordie had only taken one, maybe two years off their combined sentence. Jordie had less than a year before he hit eighteen and would be moved to the adult prison. As the days went by, Kaz wanted Jordie get more and more worried about the counter. The dwindling numbers of days he had left.

But I don’t trust him, Kaz had pleaded. Not this time. Please. We’ll make it up somewhere else-

Doesn’t matter if you trust him. We just have to get the target and get out.

Jordie, I don’t-

It’s not up to you, Kaz. I already agreed.

And the dream, at first, had seemed normal enough. Dark streets of an old city. There were canals that wove through the tall buildings, and the air was putrid. Damp. Kaz and Jordie had taken off, into the city and into the lives they would need to complete the task.

Then there was the plague.

It wasn’t abnormal, facing disasters and catastrophes in dreams. The program wanted to test the limits of creation, and men - more often than not - gravitated towards the weight of death. Hurricanes, tornadoes, mass shootings, holocausts. But this was Kaz’s first plague, and with the setting, it was cataclysmic.

Kaz had gotten sick. And so had Jordie. They weren’t even aware that they could- but it felt as real as anything Kaz had ever experienced while awake.

He’d passed out, at some point. And Jordie alongside with him. When his eyes opened, it was on a barge - a barge of bodies. Dead bodies. Projections.

Except that wasn’t the whole truth, was it? Because amongst them, Kaz had found Jordie. Bloated, pale, cold. Kaz was still feverish - had to be - because he remembers screaming for hours. Hours.

Wake up!

Jordie did not. Not then, and not when Kaz finally woke back up topside, either. They had to sedate Kaz a second time just to get him out of the room, and the image is burned into the back of his eyelids every time he closes them.

Pekka Rollins, thoughtful and curious, standing over Jordie’s unresponsive body.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

---

The plan, at first, went as it had supposed to.

The Ice Court was near-flawless. Their jobs as convicts breaking in was set. Every projection they met fulfilled their roles and reinforced the status quo. They were here for the plot, all of them pawns to a greater need.

Kuwei was inside. Kuwei was part of the dream. Kuwei had taken the bait.

When Kaz opened his eyes in the truck full of bodies, he nearly lost consciousness a second time. Whether it was the detail the other members had placed in their set-up, or his own anxieties poking holes into the plan, it had almost ruined everything.

Almost. But not quite. Inej had grabbed his arm and held him up upright and Kaz pulled himself back together again.

After that, things fell into place. They each knew their roles, where they were supposed to land and where they were supposed to be. Kuwei, picking up on the threads of the story that their subconscious fed him, played along. He would be inside an inner cell, waiting to be executed or tested on or whatever it was that he would assume would be worse, and the rest of the team would arrive to save him. Six people, six heroes, six parts of the reward. The projections agreed, leaving notes on why Kuwei was held, what was happening, what they would need to find.

Except that things - as they did - started to go wrong.

A woman from Inej’s past arrived at the grand party. She was not supposed to be part of the attendees, but there she was, in all her peacock feathers and dangerous sneer. The old Commander from Nina’s time in the military whisked her away into the cells for a grand tour, and Nina had followed. Matthias had been the Architect, which meant that the most of his subconscious would color the setting itself, but even he couldn’t be prepared for the weight it would be on him. He followed after Nina, panicked she was lost to the dream too.

Wylan was a nervous wreck of a boy - doing his best to keep up but doing the most to attract attention to himself. Jesper did his part to keep Wylan from dying before the mission even began, but Kaz knew better than to assume that would keep up.

Kaz, after the initial run in with the truck of other prisoners, was able to hold it together. They made it into the cells, they made it out of those cells. And then they were running - Kaz had a safe to find, if there was one. Kaz had the information to gather. Kad had his job, before all else.

And then there was Pekka Rollins.

Kaz was not prepared. Not prepared for him. They’d gone under in training and Kaz had been able to hold his armor together for that, but this. This was different. This was heavier. Kaz was supposed to be working. He was supposed to meet Inej down by the boiler room. But they were on the stairs, the clock ticking down, when the feeling settled in his gut.

When Kaz turned, it was Jordie’s face that was waiting for him. Sickly pale, ghost-like, bloated, but solid. He watched Kaz from a floor that was not originally in the layout, a line of cells that was not supposed to exist, and then he turned around. Started to walk away.

Kaz knew that this was the drug. Knew that this had nothing to do with the plan, and would ruin everything if he took too much time. But Jordie glanced back to him, color suddenly returning, and grinned.

You’re not going to let him go, are you baby brother?

Bells. There were bells ringing. That was his cue. But Kaz took a step forward, because Jordie was there. For once, for real, he was just thirty feet down that hall. Was stepping through a door. Kaz had spent his life learning how to get through doors - whether locked or otherwise - and he would not let this one get in the way.

Jordie disappeared, and Kaz could hear Pekka Rollins’ echo of a laugh. Strong. Settled. Comfortable.

For a brief moment, all Kaz could see was Pekka standing over Jordie’s body back in the testing room. A disappointed shake of his head as he turned away. The panic in Kaz’s chest because Jordie was supposed to be waking up, Jordie is supposed to be waking up. It’s a dream. It was all a dream. Everything that happened, everything that Kaz had done, it hadn’t been real. Then there was the feeling of large, strong hands under his armpits. Dragging him away. Someone pulled a sheet over Jordie’s body.

The bells continued, and if Kaz had been paying attention, he’d know that this was the exact moment that Inej would be climbing. That Jesper and Wylan would be waiting, anxiously, at the bottom of the shaft. Nina and Mattias would be gathering Kuwei. Would be bringing him along. Kuwei, fully entrapped in the narrative, would follow. He’d understand. He’d be a part of the story.

Kaz was supposed to be joining them down in the boiler room. He was supposed to be taking the shaft up, and out. They are so close. So very, very close.

But then the door is gone. A gunshot echoed from somewhere down the hall. Jordie’s laugh, and then silence.

It’s not up to you, Kaz.

Kaz ran after it.

---

The very few times that Kaz dreams, unencumbered and undirected by any device, it always starts off the same. A quiet field, a low breeze, and grass up to his knees. He can smell hay, and pollen, and somewhere far off, livestock. The sound of the field is all around him - buzzing and fluttering and moving. Alive. Everything is alive, and it is warm.

And then Jordie is there. Somewhere. Off in the distance or hiding beyond the ridge. Kaz is never quite sure when Jordie got so good at hiding, that was Kaz’s talent, but he’s always just out of sight.

Kaz calls out - “Jordie?” - and runs after him.

Then it all changes. In the blink of an eye, the grass at his legs are limbs, the wind pulling at his face are fingers. The smell of death, and rot, and dark decay envelop him. Jordie’s voice echos off in the distance, calling out for him but hauntingly distant, and Kaz always comes to a stop.

In his hand is a card, blinding white against the background of death, and a single crow on its face.

Kaz recognizes his totem, recognizes that he is the only one who knows it, and Jordie’s voice gets louder. Louder, and louder, and louder, until the two words ricochet like bullets in Kaz's skull.

Wake up.

But Kaz can’t. Not this time.

---

What do you mean he didn’t wake up?

He’s not waking up, Inej. Try for yourself. I don’t-

Wylan, what’s happening?

It’s the drug. His subconscious clung too heavily to the stimuli. It’s-

What does that even mean?! Why isn’t he waking up?

Don’t yell at Wylan!

I-I- It’s like he has sleep paralysis. His subconscious thinks he woke up, but it believes what we gave it. He believes what he all saw down there is real.

You mean he’s still in the dream?

How can he still be in the dream? Matthias is up. Shouldn’t it have fallen apart?

Yes. It should have. Unless he memorized the maps himself. His subconscious could have clung to what I showed all of you…

But the dream is over. The drug should have worn off.

Unless he fell deeper.

He’s in limbo…

No! God damn it Brekker, of all times?

What are we going to do?

We have to go back in there.

What?! Are you insane? Into his subconscious?

It should mirror the same world we built for the dream. Same stories, same rules. It’ll just be what his subconscious built of it.

Oh, great. So not only are we going into his limbo, but we’re going into his version of the fucked up dream we built for Kuwei? You have to be kidding me.

You all don’t need to go, I can do it.

Are you serious, Inej? No way. You’re not going alone.

He’ll need us all. Without the complete picture, he’ll know something is wrong.

We should go down now. Before he’s locked in there for a lifetime.

I need more time. I need to make sure they know we finished the Kuwei job. They’ll be waiting for an answer…

Then we’ll go down first. Inej, you can join after. Okay? It’s only two levels deep, right? So it shouldn’t be too sped up.

Okay. I guess we’re doing this.

The demon should be paying us a lot more than just-

Matthias, not the time!

Okay. Everyone get back to your device. We’ll sync up and go back. We’re all prepped for this world anyway, right? On my count. Three, two, one--

---

Kaz opens his eyes, blinking twice to shed the heaviness.

It’s dark, and there is a weighted, warm sort of moisture clinging to the air around him. It makes his leg ache.

He sits up, slow and cautious, with one thing on his mind. It’s a familiar thing, something he is comfortable with holding, comfortable with carrying and knowing and understanding. It’s something he’s lived with his entire life, and something he will most likely continue to live with, however long that may be.

It is sweet, in the back of his throat.

Van Eck will pay for this.

Revenge, as it were, was the greatest form of motivation. And Ketterdam knows it well.

[the-devil-in-georgia]

Of Blood And Steel

 @grishaversebigbang

MATERIALKI

@offrostandflames

@dearzoyas

@wisdomofchase

@punchsomeoneforme-willyou

@throughtherain

CORPORALKI

@kestrel221

After leaving her positing as Khergud, Lifen questions everything she knows about Grisha and her country, Shu Han.

A spleen sustains my life. Not my own spleen. It was torn from someone’s chest and sewn into mine.

Transactions must be made to keep the world running. The bustling city of Ketterdam is the best example. A couple of shiny coins could buy anything. A pastry, a cat, or a service to murder your worst enemy.

Scowls follow me down the street, stopping the most rhythmic conversations. I clenched my hands into fists and kept my eyes on the windows. I’m here to do another transaction, too.

Maybe it was the wings protruding from my back.

A man scoffed, thumbs tucked behind his red suspenders’ straps, “Can you even talk? You’re just another Shu abomination,” he shoved his finger in my face.

You can read more on AO3!

https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/63912712#work_endnotes

[scarecrux]

“Inej catches his hand where it rests near her cheek, turning her face towards his palm. His heart stutters in a familiar way, breath catching when she glances at him with a smile.”

I had the amazing pleasure of illustrating for @xan-drei’s @grishaversebigbang fic, Telepathy.

Xan’s work is AMAZING if you love soft and wholesome Kanej content 🥺.

Also please check out the rest of my gang’s work: @dilwidit @dthieno !!