the hopefully long-awaited day is upon us! it’s @grishaversebigbang posting day for my wonderful gang, the murder babies!
corporalnik:
@my-darling-inej for all her hard work correcting my grammatical errors and incomprehensible sentences. you can thank her for a fic that’s actually legible
materialki:
@shinpoochy (slight spoilers) work here
@cla-oh work here! (my favorite kanej scene tbh)
@phy-be work here!
@we-are-made-of-stories edit here second edit here third edit here
fic summary:
“That’s Maikel,” he said, and jerked his chin. “He’s the one that gave me that scar.”
Inej reached for Kaz’s chin and inspected the scar more closely. It wasn’t deep or long, but it was clearly the mark from-
“He knifed you?” Inej asked gleefully. It was nowhere near close to a major artery, and again - it wasn’t a deep cut. Inej was mostly shocked and impressed that a boy of somewhere between eight and eleven had actually managed to land a hit on Kaz Brekker, scum of the Barrel. Kaz glowered, withdrawing his hand and crossing his arms to sulk. “Aw, poor baby,” Inej said, petting his hairline, not even trying to mask the laughter in her voice.
..
When Inej and her Wraiths storm a slaver ship five years after the first time she sailed away from Ketterdam, she becomes tasked with a quest she never would have thought herself capable of: the care of an eight month old baby. Meanwhile in Ketterdam, crime and chaos are at its lowest, yet to Kaz there seems to be more young children and teenagers on the streets than there used to be. When he gets jumped by a boy not more than ten, he finds himself offering the boy a place in the Dregs, and that place quickly becomes whatever is left of Kaz's heart.
Reuniting over the course of ten years, Kaz and Inej meet in the middle, learning how to share themselves with each other and with their wards.
link here! you can also click the title at the beginning of the post!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26331919
A/N: Chapter 3 of the grishaverse big bang fic by me and @reapersbarge! Not much more to go, hopefully ;)
Ch.1 // Ch.2
Ao3
---
They certainly made an odd trio– Kaz in his gray suit and crow-headed cane, Inej half-merged with the shadows, and Nikolai Lantsov the Fae prince with a string of berries around his neck. The latter of them was leading them through the streets of Kes Tarm, whistling like it was a stroll through the park. Kaz fixed a glare at the back of his head.
“Who’s this witch you’re taking us to?” he demanded. It was late afternoon, and the bright sunlight was beginning to hurt his eyes. They’d been walking for nearly half an hour now because Nikolai had refused to take Kaz’s car, calling it a “death trap.”
“All in good time, Brekker.”
“I’m not sure any time with you counts as ‘good’,” Kaz shot back. Thirty minutes in the prince’s company was enough to drive a man to drink. Or kill.
Inej shushed them as she reappeared at his side. This close to the university meant crowded streets, making it difficult for her to keep to the dark that clung desperately to the aged brick. Kaz felt a bit of relief at her solid presence beside him.
The area around the university was old, far older than most other things in Kes Tarm. There was useful and there was unuseful. The latter tended to be taken down and replaced without much protest, especially in the wealthier areas.
In the tales told of Kes Tarm’s origins, the beginning usually involved a coven of witches. Hunted by the ferociously devout in Britain, they fled to the New World hoping for some peace. The city began to form itself around the university that the witches crafted by hand and magic. Deep spells wove into the very earth of Kes Tarm, protecting her magical population from discovery and harm by the Unsighted. Not that they could do much, Kaz conceded. When several hundred pounds of werewolf came at your throat, all you had was a prayer to a deity that may not exist or care.
Several covens still dotted the city, though the power had been taken by the Seelie Court long ago. Kaz never dealt with them if he could help it. Insular groups, the witches tended not to care for the worries and problems of outsiders. So his mind began to whirl with questions and ideas when Lantsov took them down an alley to knock on a rather unassuming and drab door.
A skinny, redheaded man opened the door cautiously. At his feet sat a cat glaring at them for the intrusion. A sorcerer and familiar, perhaps.
“We’re here to see Genya,” Lantsov said. “We have an appointment.”
From within the dark house a dim, “Let them in,” was heard. The man turned and walked toward the call, leaving them to decide whether or not to follow. Kaz took note of the cramped hallways and closed doors as their trio trooped behind the strange man. It was almost oppressively dark and foreboding. Instinctively, Kaz reached down to touch the fey-mined dagger hidden under his coat. The purity of the platinum would do a world of damage to almost any being there. Except for, perhaps, the hissing cat in front of them.
The hallway led to a solid wood-paneled wall. Without so much as a “by your leave”, the man pushed Lantsov through the wood. Inej crouched into a defensive position as he turned towards them. Kaz slipped a hand into his coat and gripped his knife.
“I’m fine! Nothing to worry about,” came Lantsov’s voice from somewhere beyond the wall.
Kaz still didn’t trust it; casters of all sorts were known to mimic the voices of others. “Prove it.”
“We walked here instead of taking your car because that decrepit monstrosity should be taken out to pasture.”
He shared a look with Inej. She seemed to sigh in resignation before carefully offering the man her arm. She, at least, was taken through the wall much more gently.
“It’s fine, Kaz,” said Inej. “Bit like moving through a waterfall, but it’s over soon enough.”
He glared at the man, who looked bored at best. “Try anything, and you won’t cast another spell in your life.”
“Sure, I get that threat every Tuesday.” He seized Kaz’s arm, his grip unusually strong. “In you go.”
He shoved Kaz through unceremoniously and he shuddered as a wave of cold passed through his body. Then he straightened up and blinked. The next room was the complete opposite of the house they’d been led through.
Light flooded the large atrium from skylights, small bits of embedded stained glass sending flashes of color dancing on the floor. The five walls were flanked with columns large enough for someone to hide behind, giving the impression that they were surrounded. Kaz didn’t like that one bit. In the center of the room, a woman with hair the color of flames sat cross-legged before a wooden bowl of water. Her face was horrifically scarred, but that didn’t dim her smile as she greeted them.
“Good morning. Prince. Wraith. Brekker.”
Beside him, Inej stiffened. Not many people knew of what she was, and those who did usually meant her harm.
“Who are you?” he demanded.
She chucked her tongue in disapproval. “I thought you’d bring politer guests, Nikolai.”
The prince took a seat on one of the cushions arranged in a semi-circle in front of the sorceress. Kaz and Inej remained standing.
“Apologies, my lovely Genya. Kaz and Inej, meet Genya Safin, blood witch and High Sorceress of the Red Coven. Genya, meet Kaz Brekker, owner of the Crow Club, and Inej Ghafa, his best spy.”
“A pleasure,” the witch said, though the tightness around her eyes suggested otherwise. Kaz gave her a nasty smile. He never liked blood witches much. Even Nina was on thin ice.
“I understand you need my help finding someone?”
“Yes,” Lantsov said with a serious nod. “The child of prophecy.”
The room turned silent enough to hear a pin drop. Genya scowled.
“Is this a joke?” Kaz certainly thought it was, too.
“I assure you Genya, I’m serious. Look,” the prince said as he fumbled with something in his pocket and drew out a stoppered vial. “I brought you a bit of blood from one of the best seers in the Fae courts.”
She took it and held it up to the light. “What makes you think I can do any more than your seer already has?”
Kaz had to admit he felt the same way. At best, this felt like a wild goose chase. At worst, it was some Fae scheme he’d fallen for like some stupid pigeon.
“Just try it, Genya. Then we’ll be out of your hair.” The prince sat back and looked at her expectantly, the expression of someone who was used to getting what he wanted. Inej was watching the witch with pursed lips, her eyes not betraying any emotion.
The witch uncapped the vial and closed her eyes. A dark red haze flowed out to engulf her before disappearing like mist. Though Genya opened her eyes, it was clear she was not the same person as before. The color of her irises and pupils were gone–an eerie white left behind. She gazed through them, seeing off to places and visions beyond their grasp. After a moment, Genya shook herself and her eyes returned to the amber they were before.
“Well?” demanded Kaz. Damn blood witches.
“I can’t See anything. It’s as if they don’t exist. The only explanation I can think of is someone has placed a powerful block on them, likely another blood witch.”
Any hope Kaz could have felt dimmed at her words. “So this was useless. A complete waste of our time.” Time that was steadily running out.
“No, not useless,” said Inej, ever the optimist. “We know that someone knows where and who they are, as that kind of spellwork would be personal.”
Lantsov bowed to Genya. “Thank you for trying.”
“Of course. I’ll collect on the favor eventually, Your Highness.” Kaz didn’t like the way she said that with a calculating look. Magical folk were notoriously difficult when it came to favors, both in giving them out and collecting.
Kaz and Inej moved to follow the prince back through the strange hidden door, but Genya called out for them to wait.
“There was something,” she said hesitantly. “I saw the face of someone when I searched, but they aren’t the child you seek.”
“Who?” Kaz demanded.
“Zoya Nazyalensky. She’s a witch. An elementalist. But-”
“That’s enough, Genya,” Lantsov interrupted. “I know where to find her.”
---
For the second time that day, Kaz was following the prince of the Fae through Kes Tarm to find an unknown witch. He hoped he wouldn’t make a habit of it. Inej had peeled off after leaving the witch’s building to go monitor the Crow Club at his request, but Kaz was starting to regret it. There was something off-putting about Lantsov’s demeanor that he couldn’t quite place, but it was a familiar sensation that’d taught him to keep a weapon close. The Fae were never to be trusted, despite their inability to lie.
“What does your father think about this quest?” he asked, not really caring for the answer. The High King was a bastard and Kaz was perfectly fine operating under his radar until now.
His uneasiness magnified when Lantsov gave a fake laugh. “He wants it to succeed to save his own skin, of course.”
“Of course,” Kaz echoed.
To his surprise, Lantsov led them through the university gates, the crowds on the street thinning out as they entered the pristine campus. Kes Tarm University was one of the most prestigious institutions in the country, but it attracted mostly humans as magic folk tended to educate their own. Of course, Lantsov had bucked tradition and decided to enroll nearly two years ago. Though if Kaz’s reports had any merit to them, the prince spent far more time playing hooky than actually attending classes.
“We don’t have time for you to visit a girlfriend,” he snapped, irritation rising.
“Patience, Brekker. Haven’t you heard good things come to those who wait?”
Kaz’s leg ached from all the walking they had done so far. This is why he owned a car and it wasn’t a piece of junk like the snotty prince claimed. It was a perfectly reasonable Fiat 529. And it was going to waste if he had to continue abiding by Lantsov’s ridiculous whims.
Lantsov strolled through the doors of an imposing brick building that exuded the sense of stuck-up academia Kaz expected from the university. The marble hallways were unusually devoid of students despite it being late afternoon, the time at which one would expect students to be rushing out of class towards their cushy manor homes. The only sounds were the scuffs of Lantsov’s careless footsteps and the sharp clack of Kaz’s cane against the stone floor.
“Where is everyone?” he asked. He couldn’t help but feel as if he were walking into a trap.
“Library. It’s almost exam week, so everyone is studying,” Lantsov supplied helpfully for once. Kaz narrowed his eyes.
“And what about you?”
“Me? I don’t need to study to pass.” They started ascending a rather steep flight of stairs.
“You mean you bribe the professors.” He ignored the throb of pain in his leg as they finally finished with the stairs. They were now in a carpeted area, a set of heavy wooden doors in front of them.
THE LANTSOV LIBRARY
“It’s rather difficult to fail your student whose name appears on half the buildings,” Lantsov mused, pulling open a door. He gestured for Kaz to enter.
The library was indeed full of bustling students, many of whom looked close to falling asleep in their books. Kaz glanced around to find what exits and corners he could see. He could almost feel Inej behind him doing the same. What’s scum like you doing in this kind of place?, came into his mind unbidden. Kaz pushed the thought away as Nikolai stopped at a table where a striking dark-haired girl was leafing through a thick textbook.
“Nazyalensky,” greeted the prince. She glanced up from her book before her eyes flicked to the page again.
“Lantsov. What do you want?”
Inej cleared her throat. “We need your help.”
Large blue eyes peered at the Wraith from under her fringe.
“Who the hell are you?”
“They’re friends,” Lantsov cut in smoothly. “Of the magical sort. Genya pointed us your way.”
“Genya Safin? I’ve told her already, I’m not joining her little witch club.”
As the two bickered, Kaz studied the girl, not caring if he caught her looking. She was close to the Prince’s age but had no outward signs that indicated she was anything more than human. But witches did always tend to blend in better than other magical folk. What perturbed him was he had no idea who she was- and he made it his business to keep tabs on anyone worth his time.
Another student- male, tall, with too-long hair that curled over his ears and nearly brushed the collar of his jacket- approached them and stood at Nazyalensky’s shoulder. He peered at Kaz and Inej curiously, though a spark of recognition lit up his eyes when he looked at Lantsov. Fae? Thank the saints, he’d be obligated to help Lantsov if that was the case.
“Everything alright here, Zoya?”
“Fine. I was just telling them to leave,” she ground out.
Lantsov practically beamed. “Dominik! My excellent friend. Help me persuade Zoya here to cooperate with me.”
Zoya turned to look up at Dominik, her lips twisted into a frown. “You know them?”
Kaz knew guilt when he saw it. The other boy turned his eyes towards the floor. “No. Never seen them before in my life.”
Nikolai opened his mouth to interject, but Kaz rapped his shin with his cane. They’d wasted enough time here.
“Let’s go,” he barked, his mind already spinning with possible leads. If Lantsov’s methods were all dead ends, then he had plenty of his own resources to fall back on. Dirtyhands would always see his work done.
A/N This fic was written as part of the GVBB. Please check out the incredible fan art by my Gang members.
“Jesper,” Kaz hissed, tapping Jesper’s face with gloved fingers. “Wake up, you idiot!”
Rubble from the building Wylan managed to blow up was piled on top of Jesper. Kaz and the rest of the Crows had been looking for him over an hour. Ever since the building blew and Jesper didn’t show up to their rendezvous.
:readmore:
If Kaz hadn’t noticed the slight rise and fall of his chest, Kaz would have believed Jesper to be dead.
“Jesper!”
Jesper’s eyes barely opened, but that wasn’t good enough for Kaz.
“Jesper, can you hear me?”
It took him a moment to reply but eventually Jesper replied.
“Yeah, I can hear you,”he rasped. “Idiot.”
Kaz almost smiled.
“Can you move?” Kaz asked, beginning to move the rocks on top of Jesper before he could reply.
“I think so.”
Kaz continued moving the rocks until Jesper was uncovered.
He helped Jesper to his feet and one of Jesper’s arms was draped over Kaz’s shoulder.
Kaz wished he could ignore the heat coming of Jesper, seeping through his coat where they touched. But he couldn’t.
The contact was enough to make him sick.
The sooner they reached the Slat, the better.
Kaz considered going to find the others and tell them he found Jesper, but he didn’t have time. He needed to get Jesper home.
He started walking for the Slat.
“What happened? Why weren’t you at the rendezvous?” Kaz asked, once he had shifted to hold Jesper up in a position where they wouldn't fall.
“I got called away.”
Kaz shook his head.
Who the hell could call him away? Towards a building he knew was about to explode?
Jesper suddenly became much heavier. Kaz came to a stop before his bad knee buckled.
“Jes! Dammit, Fahey! Just stay awake!”
Jesper got his feet under him again.
“I’m not asleep, Kaz.”
“Are you bleeding?”
“What?”
Kaz sighed and walked them to a bench. He lowered Jesper as easily as he could. What a sight they were.
Dirtyhands and his sharpshooter.
If anyone saw them, Kaz wouldn’t hear the end of it.
Jesper’s side was dark with blood.
Kaz cursed under his breath.
It was too much blood. Jesper needed a healer. A Grisha healer. And Kaz didn’t have one. His old healer had disappeared. Kaz wasn’t sure if they left voluntarily or if the Dregs just hadn’t found the body yet.
“Jesper, did you ever buy Nina those waffles?” Kaz asked, grasping for anything to keep Jesper awake and talking.
That was enough to make Jesper open his eyes.
“You promised Nina waffles. Remember?”
Kaz didn’t know why he chose waffles as the subject to keep Jesper awake but if it worked then Kaz didn’t really mind.
“Um, yeah. Why do you care?”
“None of your business. How did it go?”
Jesper started telling him about the breakfast, but Kaz could not follow what he was saying. Even if Jesper was making sense, Kaz wouldn"t have been able to concentrate on his words anyway.
He had to get Jesper to the Slat. It was further than Kaz would have liked. It was a distance even if he had his cane and wasn’t supporting Jesper’s weight.
“Kaz?” Jesper asked, pausing his story.
“What?”
“What’s wrong?”
Kaz shook his head. Bloody idiot.
“You got hurt, Jes.”
“Well, yeah. Duh.” Jesper laughed and Kaz found the sound disturbing.
He was carrying his best friend through the streets in the dead of night and the only sound was laughing.
“It’s not that big a deal, Kaz. I’ve had worse.”
Kaz shook his head. “No, you haven’t.” I would have remembered.
“My first week of gambling in the Barrel. Man, I was an idiot.”
“You still are.”
“I, uh, got stabbed,” Jesper said, either ignoring Kaz or just not hearing him. “Walking back to the university.”
Kaz risked a glance over to Jesper. His eyes were unfocused, but he didn’t look like he was lying.
“Some bloke thought I had money. I didn’t. I spent all I carried with me at the tables.” Jesper laughed again, but it wasn’t as jovial.
“What happened? Kaz asked before he could stop himself.
“A, um, grisha found me. Saved me.” Jesper sighed. “I thought I was going to die that night.”
Kaz didn’t know how to reply, so he didn’t.
After a moment, Jesper continued.
“I joined the Dregs soon after.”
“Your worst mistake yet.”
Jesper smiled. “Yeah. Probably.”
When Jesper didn’t reply, Kaz glanced over at him.
His head was hanging, and his eyes were shut.
“Jesper!”
Jesper’s eyes blinked open.
“I wasn’t asleep,” he said.
“Bull.”
“What do you know about bulls, Barrel Boy?”
Kaz shook his head. Quite a lot, actually.
Instead he said, “I know you. You’re as bull-headed as they come.”
“You’re worse than I am.”
Kaz carried them across a bridge. It wasn’t much further to the Slat now.
“You’re proving my point,” Kaz said, focusing on the cobblestones in front of them.
Jesper didn’t reply for a moment before saying, “I think Wylan may be more bull headed than either of us.”
Kaz considered it for a moment before nodding. Yeah. Probably so.
When Kaz walked into the Slat, he didn’t bother being quiet.
He slammed the door shut behind him with his heel.
The image of him coming in, Jesper slung across his shoulder was enough to get everyone in the Slat to shut up.
Jesper hadn’t made it to the Slat before passing out.
Kaz started for the stairs, and Anika took Jesper’s other arm without a word. The two managed to get Jesper up the stairs and to his room.
“Go find Nina,” Kaz said, as she helped him lower Jesper on to the bed. “She’s around the Cobweb’s base.”
Kaz barely registered her nod before she walked out.
A moment later, a Dreg whose name Kaz didn’t bother remembering at the moment, walked in carrying bandages and everything Nina would need to fix Jesper. If she could.
Kaz had lost count of how many times she’d told him she wasn’t a healer. She hadn’t stayed at the Little Palace long enough to learn that.
Kaz didn’t acknowledge the Dreg as he put the stuff down on the dresser and walked out again, shutting the door behind him.
“Jesper,” Kaz said, shaking his shoulder. He didn’t respond.
He wasn’t supposed to be close to the blast. Kaz had told everyone exactly where to go so the explosion wouldn’t catch any of them.
Why hadn’t the idiot just listened?
How did Jesper get so distracted that he was there when Wylan’s bomb went off?
The door behind Kaz opened but he didn’t bother turning around. He knew who it was as soon as he’d heard her footsteps coming up the stairs.
“Saints,” Nina whispered, walking around Kaz to get closer to Jesper. “What happened? Where was he?”
“At the blast. He was caught in the explosion. I found him under the rubble,” Kaz said. “Fix him.”
Nina gave him a look, but wisely didn’t say anything. She walked over to the dresser and began picking out what she needed from the supplies.
“You need to go.” She didn’t look at Kaz when she spoke. “I can’t work with you in here.”
Kaz nodded and walked out the door.
The hallway was cramped and dark. The few fire-fueled lamps that lined the walls barely did anything to provide light. Chairs were methodically placed every few doors but they were coated in a thin coat of dust.
The walls of the hallway always looked slanted to Kaz, but that was probably just an illusion.
When Inej had been injured it’d been mid-fight. He’d been high on adrenaline. But when he found Jesper the adrenaline was gone. He didn’t have anger to fuel him or Ooman to question.
The only anger he had was at himself.
He shouldn’t have let Jesper get that close. He should have been able to prevent this.
He should have saved both of his brothers, but he was failing. Again.
“Kaz?” He instantly recognized Inej’s voice.
He looked up. The rest of the Crows were in the hallway. They were sooty and dirty from the fight before the explosion and then searching for Jesper after.
“What’s his status?” Matthias asked, sounding almost as tired as Kaz felt.
“Bad.”
“What happened?” Wylan said. “Did the other gang find him? Was he shot?”
“No.”
“Can Nina fix him?” Wylan said.
“We’ll find out.”
Kaz sat down heavily in one of the small chairs.
“Kaz,” Inej said, before the other two could continue questioning. “Tell us what happened.”
Kaz leaned his head back against the chair and closed his eyes. He didn’t say anything for a moment.
Eventually, Kaz leaned forward.
He explained to the trio what happened. How he found Jesper and the trip getting him back.
He told them about the injury. That Jesper was awake most of the time and only blacked out once the Slat was in sight.
When he finished he didn’t bother looking at the others. He’d just see the same thing he already knew.
Disappointment. Maybe even betrayal.
He’d let them down.
Yes, members of his gang got hurt but he should have been able to prevent this.
“I did this,” Wylan said. Kaz’s head snapped up. “It was my bomb. If it hadn’t been so—Just a little less powder and he would have been okay.”
“Wylan—” Inej began.
“It’s my fault.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” Kaz muttered.
“I’m not being an idiot!”
“Then a dumbass, is that better?”
“Brekker, don’t—”
“It’s my fault—”
“YOU WERE FOLLOWING MY DAMN ORDERS!” Kaz yelled.
Wylan’s eyes widened and even Matthias seemed to shrink.
“Stop trying to take the blame,” Inej snapped. “Both of you. It doesn’t help Jesper and it certainly doesn’t help either of you.”
Kaz sighed. He leaned his head forward into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.
This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go.
“Everyone is tired. Everyone is worried about Jesper. But there is nothing we can do about it. So just sit down and hope Nina can fix him,” Inej said, her voice like steel.
Kaz didn’t look up.
He heard Matthias walking away, but he came back a moment later.
Two more chairs were put beside Kaz’s before Matthias went to grab one for himself.
Kaz hated nights like these. When he had to trust someone else to do a job because he couldn’t.
Kaz got as comfortable as the chair allowed.
It was going to be a long night.
A/N: Please let me know if you’d like to be on the taglist for this series! Thank you so much for reading!!
I am so thrilled to present my @grishaversebigbang fic And Then There Were Four !
CORPORALKI (betas): @six-of-crowfessions @lovekuvs
MATERIALKI (artists):
@cla-oh (x)
@estellerupp (x)
@veneziarts (x)
@saatanan-sorsasesonki (x)
@dilwidit (x)
Fic Summary:
Kaz Brekker is dead, and the Crows are in mourning. The story unfolds from the funeral all the way to the beginning of the downfall of one Barrel Bastard, told through Kaz’s memory as he dies.
A (very short) Excerpt:
Roeder had found him too late. He had been heading over to the Dregs’ headquarters when he spied a dark shape in a canal. Kaz Brekker stared back at him, eyes unfocused and lifeless. The unbeatable bastard had been beaten.
(this chapter is a little over 2k words, so I thought I would just share a paragraph)
I’m stoked to announce my fic for the @grishaversebigbang 2020!
MATERIALKI:
@bluedelladraw here and here @cinn0nym here @sassysaltysarcasticstupid here @awtetsuya27 here @murderspoonz
CORPORALKI:
@nolu
A quick lil summary: Chaos, Shakira jokes, and ended friendships; A novel. Join our favorite murder of crows as they play a game of Monopoly that’ll test their loyalties, quick-wittedness, and ability to take their turns without snapping someone’s neck- verbally, of course (at least we hope). I, the writer, apologize in advance for any and all brain damage this may cause you, however I ran out of waiver forms a while ago.
Aaaand the ao3 link to read it is here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/26312407
A/N: AH I can’t believe the time has finally come for me to share this with you all! I had so much fun working on this in the midst of the worst and most stressful semester of my life!
Shout out to my gang, Spice of Life, for making this so much fun bc they are all so talented and easy to work with! The Corporalki both understood my writing which made the revising/editing process really smooth. They made sure the fic you’re about to read is actually understandable. They read this more than once and in the midst of their own crazy lives which I will never not be thankfull for. The Materialki are ridiculously talented. You HAVE to click their links to check out their work. I know they all worked really hard on them and it totally paid off.
Also big thank you to @grishaversebigbang for hosting this and being a terrifying yet wonderful Master of Tides.
Please feel free to comment, reblog, or message me your reactions to this! It’s the first super long pic that I’ve ever written and I’m really proud of it. Okay enough rambling…ik y’all just want the fic!
Masterlist: Don’t have an Ao3 but I do have a master list of all my fics.
Summary: Inej Ghafa hasn’t seen her family in four years. Not since she’s been taken. Now that it’s been so long since she’s seen them, Inej is scared and nervous to go back. One night, while sitting on the rooftop, Kaz asks her to teach him Suli. That inspires Inej to fight her nerves and finally find her family. She asks Kaz to go home with her and he takes this opportunity to learn more about her and her people. Once home, Inej is faced with a guilt of her past, the fear of family’s reactions, and the hope of finally being ghar (home).
The heart of Suli culture flowed with spice-flavored blood and beat to the sound of performance drums. It hummed through Inej’s body every time she whispered her native language to herself under Tante Heleen’s ring-clad fist. She stored the precious words so deep inside of her that she feared the garbled sounds of Kerch would drown out their melodious syllables.
Once she was under the employment of the Dregs, she would practice Suli as often as she could. Some nights she would stare into the mirror, barely recognizing the woman in front of her as she spoke in Suli to herself. She would even write letters to her family in the beautiful script they had taught her. Those letters were always burned before the ink could dry. The content didn’t matter to her. She didn’t write them for the sake of filling a paper with impossible hopes and dreams. She wrote them because she feared losing her mother tongue. It was an irrational fear that she had never been able to vocalize to anyone before. Well, at least before Kaz came into the picture. He had asked her one night if she could teach him Suli and noticed, as he always did, the change in her face at the mention of it.
“I understand if you don’t feel comfortable teaching me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Kaz reached out to place his hand on her leg.
Inej watched his pale, scarred knuckles rest on her knee. They had made their way up to the roof of the Crows Club, as they usually did when Inej was home. Whatever time wasn’t spent up there was used to carefully test the idea of being together.
“It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable. It’s that…” Inej’s words wandered away from her. She watched the way his thumb moved along the inside of her knee. It was such a small touch for someone else; for a different boy and a different girl that touch was meaningless. For them, it was everything.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“No. I want to. I’ve spent so many years away from Ravka and most of my people. I only ever get to speak Suli when I’m working with the Dregs or helping people escape a sinking slave ship. For years, I was afraid that one day, I would wake up and forget the language entirely.”
“Is that possible?” His deep voice sounded raspy but soothing against the black night. “Not to lose it in one day, but for you to just forget Suli that easily?”
Inej nodded slowly. “I already have.” It broke her heart to admit it. “When I first arrived to Ketterdam, everything came to me in Suli. Dreams, thoughts, speech. I had to learn to filter my words into Kerch. Now I find that more and more of my thoughts and dreams come in Kerch than they do in Suli.”
Kaz was silent for a few heartbeats. Inej felt as if she had stripped herself bare in front of the entire Barrel. It was odd to feel that way around Kaz now. He had seen and touched parts of her that no one else was ever given permission to. Kaz knew her like no other person could, yet this was a part of her she hadn’t accepted about herself, let alone explained to him. There was an intimacy that came with talking about her culture that made her feel exposed.
“The language is not the only thing that ties you to the culture, Inej. You will always be Suli as long as you carry it in your heart.”
Tears surprised Inej by burning the back of her eyelids. “Come home with me,” she spoke through the lump in her throat.
He looked taken aback. “Home? You mean Ravka?”
She nodded. Inej had felt confident the first time she asked the question, but the way Kaz was looking at her now made her doubt her request.
“Yes. To Ravka. To my family. I-I’ve been thinking about going back for a while now. I even asked Nina for her help in tracking my family down.”
“I didn’t know that,” Kaz’s eyebrows came together in a way that meant he was already calculating things. She recognized that look: scheming face.
“You may be Dirtyhands on this island, Brekker, but that doesn’t mean you’re privy to everything east of Kerch.”
Kaz grinned wickedly. “Maybe not east, but we all know that I was able to conquer the North quite easily.” This was also a new side of Kaz that she had gotten to know over the last few months: one that was playful without an edge of cruelty attached to it. The air around them changed and Inej no longer felt the sadness that usually came with thinking about home.
“We conquered the Ice Court together. With the help of some friends, which you had to beg for help from, if I remember correctly.”
Kaz looked appalled. “I never begged.”
“So you admit that you did need our help.”
“Need is a strong word, Inej. The only things I need in this world are food, air, and you.”
It was her turn to look speechless. Kaz was rarely ever so direct with her about his feelings for her. She knew, of course, that he cared for her as she did for him. It was one thing, however, for her to know it and another for him to be so forward about it.
“And because I need you, Inej, my answer is yes. I want to go to Ravka with you. I want to go everywhere and anywhere with you. We’ll conquer the world together if that’s what you want. I want to be wherever you need me to be.”
Kaz’s words echoed in her head. She would hear them every time she thought of home. Her real home. Thanks to Nina’s help, Inej was sailing to Ravka within months with Kaz by her side.
The Wraith soared through the water and, in what felt like one night’s rest, Inej’s crew was docking The Wraith in Os Kervo’s main dock. From the stern of her ship, Inej could hear the sound of her crew talking and moving. The water lapped against the underside of her ship, gently rocking her reflection back and forth.
Inej prayed in Suli as she strapped Sankt Petyr and Sankta Alina to her forearms. She tried to quell the anxious shake of her hands while Sankta Marya and Anastasia were readjusted on her thighs. Sankt Vladimir fit snugly into her boot, making Inej wonder what her mother would say at the sight of her in Fabrikator-made boots, not Suli slippers. Sankta Lizabeta with her rose-engraved handle sat at her belt, hidden under the folds of her black Suli wrap.
When not in front of a roaring crowd, the Suli were a reserved people. Despite Tante Heleen’s disgusting portrayal of her culture, Inej still loved the vibrant colors of Suli dupattas and embroidered kurtas. When she felt the jerk of the anchor settling into place, Inej realized how long it had been since she dressed in chiffon and silk. She didn’t recognize the Suli woman staring in the mirror staring back at her. For one, the sleeves were tailored to be much longer than she would have normally needed during Ravkan summers. However, she didn’t want anyone to see the network of scars that decorated her skin from years of violence. The second thing that threw off her reflection was the way she’d styled her hair. Though she performed with her hair in a braided coil, Inej knew her mother loved it best when it was wild and loose. Finally, the last time she had seen herself like this was when she was still an innocent girl who yearned to grow into a talented acrobat.
Inej was now so fundamentally different from that child. If anything, the dupatta she was wearing felt like a costume.
Knocking forced her to turn away from her damned reflection.
“Adara aaen,” Inej called out, already knowing who it would be before he stepped into the room.
“I assume that means ‘come in,’” Kaz’s slim figure filled her doorway. He was dressed in an inmanulate suit as usual, gloved hands resting on top of his crow’s head cane and a smirk on his face.
“What?” Inej hadn’t realized the words had come out in Suli instead of Kerch. It was rare for her to mix the languages up like that. The fact that it had even happened spoke of her nerves. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to translate everything into Suli to get some last minute practice.”
Kaz’s arrogant look slipped and he shook his head. “No need to apologize. I love hearing you speak Suli.”
Inej forced a smile to her face. “If the Saints allow it, soon that’s all you're going to hear.” She looked out the port window, watching the lazy rays of sun dance along the sky. Somehow the Ravkan sky seemed to shine brighter than the Kerch one.
“Don’t slip away from me,” Kaz prompted her gently. She realized that she had started to float off into her own thoughts, something she’d found herself doing more and more the closer they’d gotten to shore.
“Are you ready?”
“No. But I don’t think I ever will be.”
“We don’t have to do this, not if you don’t want us to. I’ll go and ask Getz to take The Wraith right back if you’ve changed your mind, or we can take a trip to Nina’s instead. Whatever you want to do, I'll be here for you.”
Inej shook her head. “I might be terrified, but I want to do this. I just feel out of place in a Suli outfit after not having worn one in so long.” Her fingers pulled at one of the tightly knitted seams.
Kaz leaned his cane against the wall, closing the door behind him. He went up to Inej and turned her to face the mirror. “I don’t think your parents will be any less happy to see you if you wore a dupatta or a kefta or a sack. They’ll be too excited to see you.” Kaz’s arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her body into his. Inej felt his warm, solid chest against her back. She inhaled his calming smell, grateful for his presence.
“In Suli, we have a saying for people who have betrayed their kind, who have disgraced them or turned their back on them. Kadema mehim. It’s the worst sort of punishment you could receive for your actions.” She shuddered at the thought of ever hearing those words said to her. Inej herself had only ever used them once.
“I am not the same little girl who was taken from them. They might realize that and see me as forsaken. As someone who has turned away from the Saints.”
Kaz brushed her hair off to one side to rest his head on her shoulder. Kaz’s reflection towered over Inej’s own in the mirror. His sable eyes looked stubborn and unwaveringly serious. “You are many things, Inej, but a traitor is not one of them. It’s true that you are not the same girl you were when they knew you. But they will see that you grew into a brave, strong woman who will stop at nothing to do what is right for the people she loves.
“They will see that you have fought against all the odds and have become an unstoppable force that they should feel blessed to have in their lives. They will love you, Inej. It is impossible for them to not love you.”
This time she didn’t stop the tears that slid down her cheeks. She took a shuddering breath and placed a hand against his jaw. The sharp line was lined with light stubble, but that didn’t stop her from running a finger against its curve. Her fingers traced the scar beneath the right edge of jaw, thinking about the other scars that peppered his skin. Many of those scars earned alongside her.
“They will love you, too, Kaz.” Inej knew that he was almost as nervous as she was to meet her family, though he would never voice it out loud.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” He kissed her cheek and pulled away. “They might think of me as the man who corrupted their daughter.”
She shook her head. “No, they will think of you as the man who has made their daughter too happy to put into words.”
Kaz stared at his gloves, refusing to make eye contact. “Will they? Have I?”
It was her turn to reach out to him. Inej wrapped her hands around his neck. “Yes and yes. You have made their daughter happier than she ever thought possible.”
Kaz’s hands tentatively grabbed her waist. His eyes were on her lips but he didn’t move. Not until she did. Inej leaned up, catching his mouth with hers. The sounds of the crew and the ocean were replaced by the sound of her heart in her chest. Kaz was always gentle with her. His kisses were soft like the petals of spring and sweet like caramel. He held her like there was nothing that could ever separate them.
Inej sighed, melting into his every touch. It was impossible to feel anxious or scared in his arms. His fingers pressed into her silk wrap and Inej released a gasp. Kaz took that opportunity to take everything she gave him. Her skin suddenly burned. The sweetness was still there, dancing with a fiery spice that surprised her. They had rarely ever held each other this long without the waters swallowing him up.
His hands buried themselves in her long hair. Inej reached into his jacket, feeling the muscles beneath his white shirt. Kaz then broke away, breathing hard and shuddering. His face was flushed and his lips looked deliciously swollen.
Inej, realizing what they had done, began to apologize for having been too forward.
“No. It wasn’t you. Believe me, it wasn’t that.” Kaz shook his head, gloved hands holding hers against his chest.
“But if it wasn’t...why did you stop?” Inej could feel a blush spreading across her cheeks.
“I really didn’t want to,” Kaz’s gaze made goosebumps dance across her skin. “But we need to leave soon if we want to make it to Ivets before dark. And to be quite honest with you, Wraith, I’m not sure how far we would have gone this time. I really didn’t want to stop.”
Inej laughed. “Neither did I. It’s okay. We’ll have time another day. We have the rest of our lives to do that and so much more.”
“Captain,” Getz called from outside her door. “The crew’s settled and waiting for your orders.”
“Duty calls, Wraith.” Kaz’s smile was as sharp as ever. He adjusted the tie she’d crinkled.
Inej pulled her shoulders back, stepped through the doorway and told her crew that they could do as they pleased for a few hours. Within the next hour, she and Kaz were on their way to Ivets, the city where Nina had informed Inej her family would be performing for the next week. Every road they passed brought her closer and closer to her family. Inej could hardly contain her excitement and nervousness. While passing a crowded marketplace, Inej almost barreled into a group of children running across the street.
“Whoa, Inej,” Kaz called as he held her back from stepping into the walkway. “Careful. I know you’re excited to see your family, but even I think it’s a little much to trample a few children along the way.”
“Could you imagine that after getting back to Ketterdam, the Wraith and Dirtyhands voyaged all the way to some unknown city in Ravka just to run over a few children?” she joked, though her voice wavered enough for Kaz to notice.
“When you put it like that...” Kaz’s eyes had the same spark in them that always appeared right before a job. “While that does sound tempting, I think my bloodthirsty reputation will survive despite having let them live.”
By sunset, Inej could hear the pounding of Suli drums. They had passed through the heart of Ivets’ main city before reaching the boundary of an open field. A golden tent heavily embroidered with thick swirls rose high over the clearing. Inej’s breath caught in her throat at the familiar sound of Suli folk music floating outside of its flowing entrance. Sweet curling smoke filled the air with the smell of fried dough, glazed fruits, and…
The smell of her family gatherings to celebrate the Saints. She envisioned her mother, kind and beautiful, carrying baskets full of fresh vegetables for dinner. Her father, strong and brave, chopping potatoes alongside his wife. Her cousins fighting over plates of food. Her aunts handing out sticky sweets. Her uncles setting up place settings.
The music reminded her of the first time she stood on a tightrope. The bottomless drop that yawned beneath her and the open sky that blanketed her. How it felt to be covered in performance glitter and to curl her hair to fall around her round cheeks. She remembered scrapping her hands on trees, trying to beat her cousins to the top. How it felt to look over the Ravkan landscape and see nothing but endless opportunities.
After years of darkness, years of bloodshed, years of the staccato sounds of Kerch, Inej Ghafa was finally home.
Home...and rooted to her spot at the edge of the circus grounds. Ravkans stood in line, waiting to be let into the performance tent; the same tent that she had spent countless days in during the early years of her life. A bronze-skinned man stepped out of the tent, dressed in loose fitted black pants and a thick, colorful coat. His voice was deep and stern as he hollered the rules of the performance out into the crowd of people.
Inej stared in wonder, unsure about who the man was. Chaacha Jilé was the one who used to tame the crowds before they entered the performance area. The man at the entrance was not her uncle.
“Hanzi,” the name came to her with a jolt.
Inej was suddenly flying. Or at least that’s what it felt like as the grass was crushed beneath her racing feet. One minute, she was standing beside Kaz and the next, she was running straight to her cousin, pushing through the crowd of guests until she stood at the very front.
“Hanzi,” she said again, this time facing the man whom she now recognized.
Her cousin’s words died on his lips and he froze, arms limp at his sides as looked at her. “Inej?”
A sob escaped her. She could hear the sound of the crowd’s confusion but she didn’t care.
“Hanzi,” was all that she could say.
His face broke into a smile. A roaring shout came from him as he yelled in Suli. “Inej! Inej is here! Masi Calla! Chaacha Baraz! Inej is home!”
Tears streamed down her face at the sound of her parents’ names: Calla and Baraz. Mama and Papa. Inej waited anxiously as the longest few seconds of her life passed. She could see from the sliver opening in the flaps a flurry of motion. She caught her name be repeated and questions thrown. Hanzi shouted again, tears in his own eyes.
Inej’s whole world froze as Mama and Papa came through the entrance. They stepped out, first looking at her cousin with an agonizing look of hope and confusion on their faces.
“Mama. Papa.”
They turned towards Inej as she called out to them. Her mother’s face was more wrinkled than it had been when she’d been taken. Her hair was still long and elegantly braided to the side. Her father’s beard was mixed with grays where it was once solid black. He was clutching his wife’s shoulder, eyes landing on his daughter for the first time in four years.
“Inej.” He didn’t say her name like Hanzi had. He said it with such certainty and conviction that it made Inej’s knees give out from under her.
Before her body could fully hit the ground, her parents’ arms were around her. She buried her face in her mother’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around her father’s waist.
“Esfir,” her mother whispered in her ear. Inej couldn’t describe the relief and joy that flooded through her at the word.
Esfir was Suli for ‘little star.’ Late at night, they used to tuck her under her covers with a kiss. Her mother used to say that Inej was her little star and her father would explain that she was their guiding light.
Inej didn’t know how long they sat in the damp grass, crying and hugging and whispering to each other.
“I’m home,” she would say.
“You’re home.” One of them would repeat.
“I prayed to all of the Saints that you would find your way home to us.” Her father said.
“They called us fools. Said that we would never see you again. They told us that you were taken too far for us to ever reach you again,” her mother cried.
“Never,” Inej promised. “I will never be too far to come back home. The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true. My heart is here.”
After some time, Inej realized that the rest of her family had come outside of the tent. Night had fallen and the crowd was now gone. Her older cousins looked as if Sankt Juris had come down to blow his blue flames. Disbelief filled their faces. Some of her younger cousins looked just as shocked, though less afraid of her. Inej also noticed the soft coos of the newest editions to her family. One toddler who must have born within the first year she was at the Menagerie. Two more who looked as though they came along while she was in service with the Dregs.
The Dregs. Kaz.
Inej pulled away from her parents, realizing who else she had forgotten about for the second time that night.
“Mama. Papa. I didn’t come here alone,” her words scratched against her throat. She hadn’t realized the tears had dried out her voice until that moment.
Inej turned around, knowing that Kaz would have waited as long as she needed him to. He still stood towards the edge of the trees. Inej called out to him in Kerch.
Kaz came forward, trying his best not to look like Dirtyhands under the cover of night with his crow’s head cane and thick gloves. Though he no longer needed them with her, Inej knew that he wasn’t ready to hug every member of her teary-eyed family.
Kaz stood beside her. Inej took his hand in hers and squeezed tightly.
“This is Kaz.” Inej had practiced this speech so many times in her head. She had carefully racked her brain for the proper words in Suli to say what she needed to say.
“Kaz and I...we have been through too many things together to explain in one night. Most of the last four years have been cruel and lonely. Kaz has been one of the few good things to come into my life since I was fourteen,” her words choked off. “I ask that you be kind to him and embrace him as a part of my life. He has saved it in many ways over the years. In some ways, it is thanks to him that I am here.”
Her father stood from where he was still crouched in the grass. He approached Kaz, looking more serious than Inej had ever seen him look in her life. He stood a few inches shorter than Kaz, but still managed to look down at him.
“Do you speak Suli?” Baraz asked him.
“No-” Inej was cut off by Kaz.
“Not fluently, but I am learning.” Kaz shocked her by responding in fluid Suli instead of Kerch. He gave her side-eyed look, clearly enjoying the shocked look on her face.
Her father nodded. “Then I can thank you properly. For helping my daughter return to us.”
Kaz bowed his head. “Inej is the wisest, most determined person I have ever met. She would have found her way back to you with or without me.”
Baraz laughed, “Esfir is just like her mother in that way. Nothing stands in the way of her and what she wants.”
Inej smiled in relief. “That is true. And right now, what I want is some stuffed peppers and goulash made the proper Suli way.”
Her mother laughed, standing to embrace Inej once again. “You can have whatever you would like, Inej.”
“My turn!” Hanzi called out from the cluster of cousins closest to her. Inej turned to find him now barreling towards her.
Inej froze for a second, not feeling entirely comfortable with the tight embrace. She tried her best to laugh through the rush of panic. It hadn’t even occurred to her until that moment how her homecoming would be full of physical touching that she wasn’t entirely ready for.
Her arms didn’t move from her sides, but at least she didn’t pull away until he did. Hanzi didn’t seem to register her tight shoulders.
“I can’t believe you’re really back, Inej! What took you so long? Adja has been driving me crazy. She thinks that she’s in charge now because she can do a handstand on the highwire, but now that you’re back, you can prove to her that you’re in charge. I even reminded her that you used to be able to do an entire double front routine on the high wire without a net.” While her older cousin may have gotten older, he still rambled half made up tales as though he hadn’t aged a day.
“I don’t even have the energy to explain how wrong that is,” Inej shook her head at her cousin’s infectious joy. Hanzi had always been one of her favorites because, no matter what, he could always tell some ridiculous story to make her laugh.
“First of all,” a female voice interjected, “I’ve been able to do a handstand on the high wire for years. Second, all I said was that you weren’t in charge, Hanzi.” Adja said from behind him. She was only two years younger than Inej, but she had been terrified of the high wire. While Inej had danced around it barefoot, Adja refused to step onto one.
“Come on, Nej. Remind Adja who the real master is!”
“No,” Calla stood in between her daughter and her nephew. “Inej has only been with us for a few minutes and already you are trying to get her in trouble,” her mother chided Hanzi.
Kaz chuckled from behind her. It was clear from his expression that, while he wasn’t able to understand all of their conversation, the sound of an upset mother seemed to be universally understood.
“Come, Esfir. We’re going to have a proper welcome dinner,” her mother nodded towards the rest of her family. “Disah and Remen, go to the Ivetan market…”
Inej allowed her mother to assign everyone their tasks while she looked back at Kaz. He was smiling, looking proud of her, but she couldn’t tell why.
“What?” she asked him in quiet Kerch.
“You didn’t pull away when he hugged you,” he truly looked proud of her. Inej looked towards Hanzi worriedly.
“No. I didn’t exactly hug him back.” It would have been a lie to act as though she wasn’t disappointed in her reaction to Hanzi’s embrace. It was an unexpected reality of what she had endured all those years ago. “Do you think they noticed?”
“He was too excited to have you back to notice,” Kaz shook his head. “That’s not the point. The point is that you didn’t pull away. It wasn’t easy, but you did it, Inej. You’re home and your family couldn’t be more happy to see you.”
She took a deep breath. She hadn’t even realized that her nervousness had started to creep up on her after Hanzi’s hug until now. For a while there, she had forgotten about all of her anxieties. Now that her family had split itself into their roles to prepare for her homecoming diner, she had a quiet moment to be reminded of them.
That was when Kaz, ever supportive and aware of how she was feeling, stepped in to ease her nerves. “Kaz, do you think I should tell them the truth?”
“You don’t owe anyone any explanations. You tell them as much as you want to. It’s your story to tell.”
Inej had known long before that night on the rooftop that she was in love with Kaz. She had known for quite some time. As she stared into his honest eyes, surrounded by the sounds of her family, Inej was reminded of how deep her love for Kaz Brekker went.
“What did I ever do for the Saints to bless me with you,” she wondered out loud.
It was hard to tell with the pale moonlight as her only source of light, but for a moment, Inej thought that she saw Kaz’s face blush. His gaze left her and landed on the starry Ravkan sky.
“I ask myself the same question about you every day that we are together, Inej.”
“Nej!” Adja yelled from the performance tent. “Masi Calla asked me to help you and your...friend...find new clothes.”
Inej looked down at her Suli dupatta. “What’s wrong with what we have on now?”
Adja eyed the Wraith and Dirtyhands with pursed lips. “You both look as though you’re going to a funeral. Tonight is a party, Nej. You need to be dressed in party clothes. Now let's go, Masi might cut the wire during our next performance if I don’t get you both dressed in time.”
Inej remembered how her mother used to fuss over her dirty silks when she came back inside from an afternoon spent playing outside. “You’re right. Mama would absolutely do something like that.”
“Where are we going?” Kaz asked her, keeping up with her hurried steps with his usual ease.
Inej glanced at him. “Oh, so you suddenly don’t speak Suli anymore?” They walked around the performance tent to the line of caravans far behind it.
Kaz smirked arrogantly. “I never said I did. Just that I was learning. You didn’t think that I was going to come and meet your entire family without at least attempting to familiarize myself with the language, did you? It’s not that difficult to memorize a few phrases here and there.”
She pushed him lightly with her shoulder. “How about on the boat? Were you faking then?”
Kaz shook his head. “Technically, I wasn’t faking. I know some words and phrases, but not everything. Not yet. Give me a few weeks with your family and I’ll be fluent.”
Inej rolled her eyes. “Not a chance, Brekker. My language is too poetic for a shevrati like you to con your way in that short amount of time. Memorizing a few parables is not the same thing as being able to use all the beautiful nuances we have.”
“It would be easier if I had some help from a beautiful and smart teacher.”
“You’re right. I think Hanzi would probably be willing to sign up.”
“It’s rude to speak in another language, you know,” Adja said from in front of them. The three of them finally stopped in front of Adja’s family caravan.
Kaz shot a glance at her cousin. Inej translated and he apologized in Suli.
“Not you,” Adja nodded towards Inej. “I meant Nej. She was always a quiet one, you know. At least you got her talking.”
Kaz nodded along pleasantly thought it was clear he didn’t understand. When Inej explained, his bitter coffee eyes looked amused.
“I wasn’t quiet, Adja. Hanzi was just usually screaming over me about nothing.”
Adja giggled and unlocked the door. “That is probably true. I was thinking, you should fit in my outfit from Sankta Day last year instead of just a normal dupatta. As for Ka-s,” she stumbled on his Kerch name, “He can borrow Papa’s performance kurta.”
Kaz looked somber, but didn’t argue. “Chaacha Micta used to make some interesting fashion choices,” Inej explained to him as her cousin went in search of the outfits.
“How so?”
Inej bit her lip, holding back laughter. “Let’s just say that he probably could take a few tips from Jesper.”
His eyes widened. “Inej-”
It was too late. Adja emerged from behind a curtain carrying multiple pieces of thick fabric. For Inej, she had a neatly folded Anarkali suit of rich burgundy. Sparkling gold embroidery lined the long, slightly flared skirt and traced the cuffs of the fitted sleeves. A light, white and gold wrap also came with the outfit. On top of it sat a pair of high heels that matched the wine-colored clothes. Inej took the clothes into her hands, feeling the soft yet firm fabrics that were saved for more festive clothing in her culture.
“It might be a little long for you,” Adja eyed Inej’s smaller frame. “But it will do.”
“Thank you, Adja.”
She shrugged off her cousin’s thanks. Her other hand still held Kaz’s outfit. He was standing dangerously still beside Inej. His face was blank of any reaction, but Inej could only imagine what was going through his head. While her outfit was designed with elegance and grace in mind, Kaz’s was made for a true showman. Or at least for a color blind one.
Chaacha Micta had a performance kurta that was radiant white with orange and green gems cascading down the sleeves. Sunset colored pants were folded to match the sparkling jewels. It was both bright and sparkly, two things Kaz hated in clothing.
“Dhanyavaad,” Kaz mimicked Inej’s Suli to thank Adja. Inej was reminded of how good of a liar he was because if she hadn’t known better, she would have thought Kaz looked almost excited to wear her uncle’s kurta.
Adja beamed, looking between the two. “I don’t think Chaacha Baraz or Masi Calla would be okay with me leaving you two in here alone to change but…” Her cousin broke off and shrugged. “If you brought, Ka-s all the way here, I have to assume that it is not the first time you’ve been left alone.”
Heat flooded Inej’s cheeks. She couldn’t meet Adja’s eyes when she nodded. “It’s okay. Mama and Papa won’t know if you don’t tell.”
Adja continued to look between them. It was the same look Nina had given them before Inej had actually opened up about her relationship with Kaz. A look that said that Adja could see something they couldn’t. She was used to getting that look from her friends or other Dregs, but it was a little unnerving to see that look in the eyes of someone she hadn’t seen in years.
“Just don’t take too long. Chaacha and Masi will seriously cut the rope if they find out about this,” she pointed between Kaz and Inej. She swiftly ran out of the caravan, giggling at Inej’s eye roll.
Once she was out the door, Inej’s focus was back on Kaz. His polite smile dropped with Adja out of sight.
Kaz spoke seriously, “Inej, you know that I care for you deeply. More than anything in this world, I care for you.”
Warmth filled her heart, but her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.
“Because I care for you, I want your family to like me.”
“I already told you-”
“Yes, I know. I’m wonderful. A trickster god amongst men. But that’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Then what is it?”
Kaz looked at her in disbelief. “Do you even have to ask me that question? This,” Kaz raised the clothes in his hands to meet her eye level. “I’ve never seen anything so…”
Laughter burst out from Inej. She quickly moved to cover her mouth with her hands, but there was no concealing the way her body shook from amusement.
“That is a traditional Suli kurta, Kaz. It’s an important part of my culture.”
He shook his head. “I have seen kurtas. This does not look like that. This looks like some nightmare Jesper and Nina would have designed.”
“Poor Dirtyhands is too insecure to wear something so dazzling,” Inej placed a hand on his cheek. She ran a finger down the sharp cut of his jawline. “I’m sure you’ll look great. Not as good as Chaacha would in it, but a close second.”
Kaz’s eyes held a playful fury. His ebony eyes only ever fixed on her that way. It was a look that promised both a punishment and sweet reward for her words.
“If the Dregs ever find out about this…”
A wicked smile broke onto her face. “I can’t imagine how they would. I keep all your secrets.”
“Don’t even think about telling them, Wraith.” One of Kaz’s arms found her waist.
“Jesper, on the other hand,” her fingers moved to run through his hair. “Jesper is a bit of a big mouth. If this somehow got to him, I don’t think there is any way of stopping him.”
“I can think of at least twelve different ways I could stop him with this kurta alone.” His face moved closer to hers.
Inej turned so his lips landed on her cheek. “No time for that, Brekker. We have to get dressed.”
He sighed and gave the bedazzled shirt a weary look. “If you ever doubt how I feel about you, Inej, just remember this moment.” Before she could respond, Kaz gestured towards the room Adja had gone into to find the clothes. “I’ll change in there.”
Time and time again, Kaz reminded her of why she fell for him in the first place. He had seen every part of her and touched almost all of her, yet Kaz never made assumptions about her limits. No matter how far they had or hadn’t gone, Kaz always asked for permission. On the nights when all she could do was hold his hand, he never pushed her to go further. Even now, after what had happened on the boat and having had met her family, Kaz gave Inej the privacy she needed without hesitation.
With Kaz gone from her sight, Inej was left to unstrap her daggers and quickly dressed into Adja’s Anarkali suit. After a few minutes, Inej stopped hearing Kaz’s quiet cursing.
“I’m almost ready.” She called to him through the curtain.
He shuffled around on his side of the caravan. “This looks even worse than I imagined.”
Inej ignored him, debating whether or not to strap on her beloved blades for the feast.
“Inej?”
“I’m almost ready, you can come out.”
Kaz had been right. The kurta had looked worse than she had imagined. The shirt hung at little too loose from his slight frame, but the pants were too short for his tall stature. They stopped just above his ankles, showing a peak of his white socks.
“Oh.” Inej cringed. “You were not joking.”
Kaz looked at her intently. “You look beautiful, Inej.”
Inej had yet to see herself in the mirror, but Kaz’s reaction was all she needed to confirm what she had already suspected. Adja was slim like Inej but stood a few inches over Inej . The rest of her outfit fit as it was tailored to. The top complimented her figure while the bottom flared out into an elegant skirt that pooled around Inej’s feet more than she would have normally allowed. It wasn’t perfect, but she loved it regardless.
“Traditionally, I would have special Sankta Day earrings that have some sort of token to represent a Saint.” Inej absentmindedly tugged at her ears. “Though, I haven’t worn any earrings since leaving the Menagerie.”
His look softened. Kaz forgot all about his unfortunate attire. “Would you like to? I’m sure Adja would let you borrow hers.”
“The holes have closed by now. It’s okay. I don’t need them. I have these.” She slid Sankt Petyr, the dagger he had given her so long ago, into place. She tried to ignore the fact that it took her far less time to strap all seven of her blades into place than it had to properly dress herself in the Sankta Day skirt.
“I’ll tell Adja we’re ready.”
“Wait,” Kaz’s fingers intertwined with hers. He reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a matingkia made of expensive gold and rich-colored stones. It was simple, as far as Suli headpieces went, with one clear diamond in the middle of a small ruby flower.
“Kaz,” Inej’s breath caught in her throat. “Where did you find this?” Her fingers curved delicately around the precious metal.
“A vendor in Ketterdam had a tent full of Suli jewelry. He has a Suli wife that makes all the items to sell.”
“Do you believe him?” It was more than possible that the vendor’s story was a ruse to get more money from gullible tourists visiting the island.
“I’ve met her.”
“You did?”
“Yes. When I asked her to make this one for you.”
The matingka felt heavier in her hand than it had moments ago. “You asked her to make this for me?” Inej tried to envision Dirtyhands entering a Kerch market to meet with an ederlly Suli woman. She thought of how long he must have spent picking the design, and then jewels to place in it.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered to him. “She’s clearly very talented.”
Kaz tried not to look too smug which was a change for him. “Only the best for my Wraith.”
“Sometimes we wear them for special holidays.” Inej debated whether or not to say the next part. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by making any assumptions. “These are traditionally given to Suli women by their father or husbands.”
She saw him nod nervously. “I know. The woman, Gintha, explained to me the tradition. She said fathers would give them to their daughters and pray that the Saints would give them wisdom as they grew into strong women.”
“Did she tell you why husbands give them to their brides?” She couldn’t deny the fear or eagerness that she felt waiting for his answer.
“To symbolize the love and respect he promises to show her every day after they are wed. The same love and respect that I have felt for you every day for too many years to count.”
Inej’s body was frozen with emotion. Love. Kaz loved her. He didn’t just love her. He respected her. Respected her boundaries and dreams and goals.
“Nej! Are you done yet?” Adja suddenly banged against the door of the caravan.
The reality of her situation flooded back to Inej. For a few moments, she had forgotten who she was. Where she was. Inej took the head piece, not bothering to hide her flustered look as she pushed Kaz back behind the curtain.
“Get out of those clothes. Hurry!” Kaz laughed and she realized how her words sounded. “No! That’s not what I meant. I mean change back into yours! My family will just have to deal with your Kerch suit during dinner.”
She rushed back to the door and let Adja in. “I’m almost ready.”
Adja looked her up and down. “It fits better than I thought. And Ka-s?”
“The clothes didn’t fit him so he’s changing back into his. Here,” she handed Adja the matingka. “Can you help me put this on?”
“Did he give this to you?” she pointed towards the curtain.
“Yes. Now help me put it on. I’ve never put one on myself. Papa only ever put it on me once.”
Adja waved her off. “It’s easy.” She spun Inej around and took a few hair pins from her own brown hair to fasten it into place. “There! Done! Just in time.”
Kaz walked into the room, looking much less miserable now that he was dressed in his own clothes.
“Tell her that her father’s wardrobe should be burned.”
“He says that he loved the kurta and is sorry that it didn’t fit,” Inej easily lied. “Also your tie is crooked again.”
He cursed under his breath and nervously put into place as her cousin spoke.
Adja beamed at her. “I don’t believe that’s true, but it doesn’t matter. Come on! Everyone is waiting for you.”
Inej’s stomach turned over nervously. She had been so overcome with emotions when she’d first greeted her family. Those emotions were starting to settle, but in their place grew the seeds of anxiety once again.
Inej and Kaz trailed behind Adja as they made their way back from the caravan section of their carnival to the performance area. Inej looked around the cool night air, keeping track of all the things that looked familiar and different at the same time.
She pointed to a smaller performance tent made of a thick white sheet. “What’s that?” she asked Adja.
“We started to tour with a second family about two years ago. Hanzi is engaged to the daughter of their paira vaala.” A breeze opened the flap of the white tent and Inej could see the bed of coals used for the paira vaala, or fire walker.
“Hanzi’s getting married?” Inej couldn’t imagine her cousin as she had last known him having a fiancé. He was always too loud and playful when around his family, but unearthly quiet around other girls their age.
“I know! We were all just as surprised as you were. Chaacha Jilē almost fainted.”
“He didn’t tell them that he was seeing her?” Inej’s surprise only grew. While she may not have gotten her parents’ permission before choosing to be with Kaz, her situation hadn’t given the option of choosing the favored Suli traditions.
“He didn’t even tell me! And I’m his favorite bhara. At least I have been since you…” Left? Were taken? Disappeared? Inej could hear the end of Adja’s sentence even if her cousin didn’t want to fill it in.
“I remember that,” Inej awkwardly filled the silence. She pointed to a section of tents reserved for carnival games. “Kila,” one of their older cousins, “once bet me thirteen kruge that I couldn’t win every game in the tent.”
“Kroog?” It wasn’t until the word left Adja’s mouth that Inej realized that she’d forgotten the Suli word for currency or money. It was such a small thing to forget, but it made her stop in her tracks.
“I-” she started to explain. “I’m sorry. I guess I just haven’t used that word in Suli in a few years. Uhm,” Inej racked her brain, digging deep into her memories to find the right word.
“What’s wrong?” Kaz, who had been silently listening to their conversation, spoke up. He couldn’t understand them, but he could see Inej’s face change. “I think I heard you say ‘kruge.’”
She shook her head, momentarily confused as Suli and Kerch collided with each other in her head. Rupe. The word finally came to her in a blunt memory. “I forgot the Suli word for money,” she said to him in Kerch and then explained it to her cousin again.
“Oh!” Adja didn’t seem fazed by her cousin’s slip up. “Kila was such a gambler. A terrible one too. Though I guess he doesn’t need to worry about that anymore. He married a wealthy Shu family. How he wiggled his way into that, I have no idea.”
Inej nodded along as Adja rambled. She was no longer listening to her cousin’s end of the conversation. Instead, she began filing through the mental dictionary in her brain. What other words had she forgotten?
Random words were tossed and turned in her head. Adja continued to talk about their uncles and aunts. She went through family gossip as quickly as Nina went through maple-drizzled waffles. Inej didn’t hear any of it. All she could hear was the sound of her Suli-Kerch dictionary flipping page after page.
Torsion wrench? What was the Suli word for the little tool she had used numerous times to pick a lock? Had she ever known the word? Had she ever needed to use that word in her native language before? Would she even need to say torsion wrench during dinner tonight?
Ketterdam isn’t all that bad. At least I learned how to pick locks using a torsion wrench.
No, there was no way she could even imagine herself saying something like that to her family. Inej realized that she had let her nerves run a little too wild. Adja hadn’t even noticed when she said “kruge” instead of “rupe”. The odds of her family being upset with her for not remembering a word here and there were small.
Kaz tugged on the fabric of her skirt, drawing her attention to him once again. His dark eyes met hers, silently asking her once again if she was okay. This time she didn’t have to force a smile on her face to reassure him.
“How did Mama put together a dinner so quickly?” Inej said the moment the smell of paprika, garlic and bell peppers hit her. They had circled back around to the performance tent. Instead of it holding a crowd of entertained Ravkans, tonight, the tent would be used to spread out a Saints-worthy feast.
Adja beamed at her. “Masi Calla asked all of our masis and chaachas that were cooking dinner for after the show to add extra coals to the fires. Some of the food had to be bought from the markets so it won’t be exactly like you’re used to, but it’s all that we could get together so quickly.”
“It’s perfect. You could have fed me rocks and I would have been just as happy to be home.”
The heavy tent flaps were pulled wide open and she could see dark-haired figures moving frantically around the tent. The round seats used for audience members were stacked on top of each other. Inej remembered how long it took to carry the iron seats from the caravans to place them in their rows. She had been too small to carry them herself, so she would hold the bottom half of a stack while Hanzi carried the brunt of the weight.
The high ropes were still strung up from their looming poles. She itched to climb up and test her technique. The chaacha who had first taught her how to balance was strict about proper posture. Though she had no real use for it when sleuthing for the Dregs, she could still hear his sharp calls to straighten her spine or keep her gaze forward.
“Make room! Inej the Great has entered the tent!” Hanzi exclaimed. His voice cut through the flurry of her family’s movement. Inej realized why her uncle had stepped down to let Hanzi handle the crowds. His deep voice was effective when it came to getting a crowd’s attention.
Toffee and hazel eyes all met hers. All of her family, almost twice as many as earlier, froze where they were to stare at her and Kaz. His gloved fingers curved in hers, but no one seemed to care at that gesture as much as they cared about the dazzling headpiece sparkling in the candlelight. Her parents had tears in their eyes as if it was the first time they were seeing her again. Inej had to hold back tears of her own. She saw the circle of food splayed out around the lush carpets dragged from Saints know where to cushion the hard ground.
Sarma, stuffed peppers, bogacha, and xaimoko were still in their metallic cooking pots, steaming as if the fire had just been dosed from under them. Pirogo and xaritsa sat in porcelain crockery that Inej suspected came from the Ivetan market her cousin had mentioned. Silver kettles of chao filled the room with a lingering sweet smell. Dark cups of kafa were already served and in the hands of some to her cousins.
The meal flooded her with too many memories to catch at once. She was swimming in a stream of random memories. Her tongue burning from spicy stuffed peppers and then from chugging a fresh cup of chao in a vain attempt to ease the sting. Mama teaching her how to prepare the sarma properly. Papa stiring a pot of goulash.
“Why are you just standing there? Come! Sit!” Papa gestured to a spot right in front of Inej’s favorite platter.
She blinked back tears. No more tears. Tonight was for celebrating all that she had come back to, not for mourning the years she had lost.
“Some of it had to be bought so it won’t taste exactly like you remember but-” Her mother rushed to her side, holding her daughter’s hand and pulling her and Kaz towards her father.
“Mama, I don’t care how the food tastes. This is already so much more than I could ask for. Just being with you and Papa and everyone else is enough for me.”
Her mother’s dark brows furrowed. She took great pride in her cooking, as a Suli should. “Yes, yes, but still...If you had sent us some sort of message so we could have been prepared, the food would have all been ready. We would have canceled the show much sooner. But no, leave it to our little Esfir to show up as if the Saints had let her fall from their very sky at random.” The novelty of Inej’s arrival was definitely wearing off if her mother was already scolding her.
She laughed despite her mother’s pointed words. Inej settled in her seat comfortably. Kaz sat beside her, looking so out of place in this bright colored tent surrounded by equally colorful kurtas. She couldn’t believe the sight in front of her. Kaz Brekker being handed a steaming cup of chao in his crisp, black suit.
Her own hands were already clutching a plate overflowing with food. Her father had served her heaping spoonfuls of every dish that sat before her. He paused, looking at Kaz curiously.
“Eh...food?” Her father surprised her with the Kerch word. She hadn’t known he spoke any Kerch.
Kaz nodded, “Krpya.”
Her father looked excited by his answer. He piled almost as much food on his plate as he had on hers. Kaz was excellent at hiding his emotions, but there was no hiding the amusement in his eyes. He took the plate with open arms. Everyone, including Inej, watched as Kaz lifted a fork to take a scoop of the rice-stuffed green pepper. He didn’t even flinch at what she could assume to be the spiciest bite of food he’d ever had. He chewed slowly, ignoring the flush that creeped up his neck. Judging from the smell, her family hadn’t held back when it came to spices that night. Finally he smiled, thanking her father for the food.
That seemed to be the cue her family had been waiting for. Everyone unfroze and went for a plate.
Kaz waited until they were no longer staring at him to reach for the tea. She had to bite back a laugh as he gulped down the entire cup.
“Spicy?” She asked, already knowing the answer.
Kaz looked at her as if she had grown an extra ear. “Spicy? Inej, I thought I was going to die.”
This time she couldn’t hold back the laugh. Everything about the night filled her with so much joy and laughter that Inej had to put down her food for a second. Her stomach burned from the giggles that shook her body. Kaz was actually blushing as her cousins closests to her looked at them.
“Kaz said the food almost killed him.” She explained to them. “The Kerch prefer their food much less seasoned. Mostly a hint of salt and pepper. It’s actually very sad.”
All of them broke out into smiles.
Her mother who was still standing behind them said, “Tell Ka-s that he’ll have to get used to real food if he’s decided to stay with you.” She placed a hand on Kaz’s shoulder affectionately.
Kaz, clearly not expecting the sudden touch, went still. His body tensed beneath the touch and his jaw tightened. Her mother noticed the change in his posture and jerked her hand back. She looked at her daughter quickly, but Inej could see the hurt and confusion in her eyes even if it was just for a second.
“It’s not you, Mama.” She rushed to explain for Kaz. His eyes had dropped to the plate resting on his lap.
“I told you that our life in Ketterdam wasn’t easy.” She tried to find a way of explaining without revealing too much of Kaz’s past. “He isn’t used to people touching him unless they’re trying to hurt him. Give him time, Mama.” That part was at least true.
Her mother nodded, looking apologetic but no less confused. This time she was looking at the visible scars along Inej’s arms. Her cousin’s outfit didn’t hide them the way her earlier outfit had.
Hanzi, who was watching the whole exchange from across the tent, spoke out. “What was it like, Nej? In Ketterdam?”
His father, Chaacha Jilé, used a serving spoon to give him a hard tap on the head. “Hanzi!”
“What? We were all thinking it!”
His father shook his head. “You know better than to ask that kind of question.”
“It’s okay.” Inej cut in before her uncle could use the spoon again. “Hanzi is right. You all want to know what happened. I don’t blame you.”
“See!” Hanzi pointed a vindicated finger towards Inej.
“Hush!” His father waved the spoon in front of his son.
She bit back a smile and continued. Inej looked at Kaz. His rigid spine loosened a bit, but he still looked a bit on edge. “I’m going to tell them.”
A small smile tugged on his mouth. “You know I support whatever decision you make.”
It was all the encouragement she needed. “Mama, Papa, you may want to sit down. It’s a long story and most of it isn’t pleasant.”
Her mother worriedly sat beside her. Her father put an arm around her shoulders, physically supporting his wife in the same way Kaz had just supported her.
“I was taken by slavers. They broke in and took me just as the sun had started to rise. They brought me to Ketterdam, where I was sold to a heartless woman who made me do unspeakable things for terrible men. Kaz worked for a group of young men trying to build a new business and went to meet with the woman at the request of his boss. I realized I could escape with his help, so I offered him my skills as an acrobat. He agreed to employ me legally and without having to do any of the things that I was doing there. He taught me how to defend myself. I worked as his spy and I was good at it.
“Ketterdam… it can be an ugly place that brings the ugliness out of even the best people. I’ve done things I pray the Saints will one day forgive me for; but I’m not the same girl I was when I was taken. If I was, I don’t think I would have made it through the first night in that city. I will never be that girl again, no matter how hard I try. And I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.
“I was able to eventually afford a ship and a crew to run it. Now, I'm the captain of a crew of people dedicated to keeping other people from having to go through what I went through. I hope that the work I do at sea can help weaken any shadows I have created during my years in Ketterdam.”
Inej had, of course, changed a few details in her story. There was no way she was going to tell her entire family that the “business” Kaz was running was actually a deadly street gang. She was also never going to explain to them exactly how good at her job she had gotten. They would never understand the things she had done. In fact, if they could see the crimson stains on her hands, they’d probably be so repulsed that they would kick her out on the spot.
Her mother was crying again. Her father looked heartbroken as if all of his worst fears had come true.
“Inej…” Adja spoke first. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
Inej was surprised to realize that she wasn’t in tears as she feared she would have been. “It’s not your fault.” She looked at her parents, realizing that they must have carried some guilt with her disappearance just as she carried the shame of the things she had done.
“Nor is it yours. We couldn’t have known those slavers were going to break into our home. You two did everything you were supposed to. When things were at their worst, I could hear your voices teaching me how to pray to the Saints. I was able to survive so long because I always carried the hope you taught me to hold on to. The hope that I would one day return to you.”
Her father looked furiously stubborn as he said, “And you have. You are home, Inej. That’s all that matters. We don’t care what you had to do to get here. As long as you are here with us again.”
“The Saints don’t punish actions done to survive.” Her mother agreed. “You don’t need to ask them or us for forgiveness. Forgiveness is earned, Inej, and you have been through more than enough to deserve it. We know you. We know you have a good heart. We love who you are now because it brought you back to us.”
“You will always be our esfir.” Her father held his daughter's trembling hands.
Those words were like the first bite of bread after a year long fast. Inej hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear them, or how much it would mean to hear them from her parents. Her father’s touch didn’t wipe away any of the blood on her hands nor did it take away the dark memories she would always carry. But it did make her feel hopeful for the future. For so long she feared that she could never return home; she feared her family would reject the woman she was sharpened into. Her parents didn’t look like they were ready to throw her out. In fact, they looked like they were ready to hold her tighter than ever.
“Wait a second,” Hanzi once again drew all the attention in the room back to him. “You said you were a spy and now a ship captain?”
Inej wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “Yes.”
“And that Ka-s...runs a business?”
“Yes, Hanzi.”
He looked suspiciously between Kaz and Inej. Then at the leather gloves and silver crow’s head of his cane. His jaw dropped. “Inej, you’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?”
She bit her lip, unsure of how to answer.
“He knows, doesn’t he?” Kaz’s gravelly voice was full of pride at being recognized.
“Don’t look so smug. I don’t think he recognized you until I said that I was a ship captain.”
“INEJ!”
She turned back to Hanzi. He was almost buzzing with excitement to hear her answer. “Are you who I think you are? Is he who I think he is?”
Her mother narrowed her eyes at her nephew.“Inej is whoever she wants to be. As for Ka-s, he’s Inej’s...”
Inej looked to Kaz for the answer. They had never felt the need to use a word to explain their relationship. Everyone on their tiny stretch of an island knew better than to question Dirtyhands or the Wraith. Their friends didn’t need an explanation. What she shared with Kaz went deeper than anything she could describe.
“What?”
“They want to know what you are to me.”
“Then tell them.”
“What do you want me to tell them?”
“What do you want to tell them?”
“That you’re the person I love most in this world.”
His smile was blinding. “I’m more than okay with that answer.”
“Kaz is my heart.”
Adja cooed, clutching her heart. Her mother looked approvingly at Kaz. Her father looked relieved by the answer. Hanzi still looked unsatisfied by it.
“Why are you all just staring at us? Let’s eat!” She mimicked her father’s earlier remark. The silence was once again filled with her family’s celebratory cheers.
“Thank you for coming with me. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
Kaz looked smug. “I love you.”
Inej smiled, looking around the circle of happiness brought together by a bond that went deeper than blood. “I love you, too.”
A/N Pt 2: Hi hello! If you happened to have read this before January 2, 2020 then you might remember that there used to be a long paragraph at the end of this fic where I acknowledged all of the cultures that I read about as inspiration to flesh out the Suli culture in this fic. Welp, because Tumblr enjoys to make life difficult, it actually decided to erase the entirety of this fic, leaving only the title. Why? I have no idea!!!! But that means I had to do everything and luckily I had all of the fic saved except for this second A/N bc I added it in right before uploading. While I’m incredibly annoyed by Tumblr glitch and am not able to fully write the original acknowledgment, I still want to give add a smaller version of the previous one.
All of cultures I drew from for this fic can be found listed here. The Suli language was a modified mixture of Hindi and Punjabi. The foods are mostly Romani in origin. The names are a mixture of Turkish, Hindi, Romani, and Slavic names. The clothing have all been specifically named. The head piece Inej wore was directly inspired by a South Asian maang tikka however out of respect for this real cultural practice, I changed the name/origin for the fic. Any parables/customs/religious beliefs explained in the fic are completely fictional that were either pulled directly from the SOC series or made up for this fic. Any connection/similarities to real cultural practices are completely coincidental unless I specifically said so. I believe that was everything important that I had in the original acknowledgment. I’m so sorry if anything was left out. If you do feel that I forgot to mention anything in this rewritten version, please let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it immediately!
a/n: fic written for the 2019 @grishaversebigbang, in collaboration with the following artists and editor:
Corporalki: my twin @intotheriverstyx
Materialki: @ethereal-magia [x] [x], @inkwingart [x], @phy-be [x], and @someofgennie [x] [x]. every one of your pieces is so gorgeous I can’t even express it. thank you all for being so magical
Summary: Fifteen years after the events of Six of Crows, Kaz has control of the city of Ketterdam and Inej and her crew rule the seas. However, when Inej’s son comes to Kaz demanding his help freeing his mother from prison, Kaz is forced to tolerate this small, different version of the woman he loves. Which is especially hard once Kaz knows he’s hiding something.
Ao3 Link
Prologue under the cut:
Kaz held her in his gaze, his every sense taking note of her: he watched her like her actions were the last thing he would ever see. For once, he wasn’t watching his back, wasn’t waiting for some long-ago score to settle itself against him. For once, he was looking forward.
Inej tied her loose shirt around her waist, the billowing blouse of a seafarer, tied with the sashes of a woman who moved like the sea itself. She moved languorously, permitting Kaz his attention. She would be gone for longer than usual this time, and Kaz felt his mind spinning into a frenzy, wild ideas constructing themselves to keep her here. He could offer her crew another captain. He could take out all the slavers on the seas on his own, stamp out every injustice wreaked upon the waters. He could buy her things.
Finally, fatefully, Inej’s slender fingers withdrew from the ties of the fabric. Kaz took her hand in his, her touch on his skin so light as to be imagined. But for these and only these few days of a year that seemed to stretch interminably long, Kaz was not imagining Inej. He touched his lips to her knuckle, kissing each one, then kissing the palm of her hand, too. She came in closer to him, and he all but laid his forehead against hers.
“Come back,” he whispered, and he could feel the ache in his heart worsening, as though she had already left.
Her world was so much larger than him. She had her ship, she had her crew. She had her son. Kaz had Ketterdam, what it was and what he had made it to be, and the Dregs, but there was no other woman in the city.
“I will always come,” Inej whispered to him, her breath against his lips. “When I leave this city, I leave half of my heart.”
Kaz grabbed her hand tight. Half of her heart. The other half was on a ship somewhere, guarded by women with a fighting spirit born of brutality. He’d never seen that side, only heard about it. Ketterdam was his prize, and it was also his bride: he was beholden to this city and it to him, but Inej could never call Ketterdam hers so long as her mission went incomplete. That was what they’d agreed on; it was how they’d lived, now, for over a decade.
But Kaz nurtured his grudges, and in the night, when plans and schemes disappeared from his mind and she was all that remained, Kaz thought of the half of her heart that continued to drag her out to sea. The King of the Barrel didn't lose sleep over just anything. But this child kept Kaz awake long after the memory of his mother's touch faded from his skin.
Summary: The Council of Tides has always seemed to be untouchable, a paragon of mystery and power. Until now. Delve into the lives of these Grisha, all forced to work together in the same small tower. They might be able to vanish into mist, but their egos and dramas sure can’t. Inspired by B99 and The Office.
AO3 Link
Chapter One: The One Where We Meet Everyone (under the cut)
In Ketterdam, a small group of powerful Tidemakers are responsible for keeping the city from falling into the sea. The Council of Tides ensures that foreign invaders are kept far from Kerch’s shores. Eight of these powerful Grisha live and work together. These are their stories. *DUN DUN*
Boss (Probs immortal): No one knows what her real name is, how old she is, where she came from- she runs the whole operation. No one really knows why, but they roll with it. It’s everyone’s favorite pastimes to make wild guesses about her based on the small and bizarre anecdotes she sometimes shares. Possibly related to Shu royalty, who knows?
Kai (17): Small and bitter. An indentured grisha when he first came to Kerch from Shu Han, he caught the Council’s attention when a “mysterious” incident caused his master’s house to be swamped by a wave, despite the closest source of water being a tiny canal. No one knows who first gave him coffee, but now he’s a full blown caffeine addict. Big Kaz Brekker fanboy. Shu.
Jood (40? 50?): No one’s ever heard him speak. Ever. He’s probably the oldest, but again. No one knows anything. There’s somehow bagpipes in his room and he plays at all hours of the night, but no one has the courage to tell him to stop. Only plays depressing folk songs from The Wandering Isle. Has brought Mina to tears over how badly it is played. Kaelish.
Pippa (25): Official mom friend. Very bad temper, merchers are terrified of her sinking their ships if they accidentally offend her, so there are daily gifts waiting for her at the front door. Has pet fish. Zemeni.
Irene (20): Just here for the health insurance tbh. Probably has a side hustle. Side hustle is trying to earn a degree from Ketterdam University in classic literature while being a member of one of the most secretive organizations in the world. Enormous crush on Zoya Nazyalensky. Kerch.
Mina (16): The youngest of the Tides and newly recruited. Eager to learn about Kerch and desperately wanting to make friends. Boss has been heard to describe her as a bouncing puppy. Fled Ravka as a child before she could be drafted into the Second Army. Powerful, but untrained. Pippa snatched her up one day at the market when, in a fit of giggles, Mina accidentally flooded one of the canals. Ravkan.
Dandy (1): Mina’s dog. Was once tiny and easily concealed in a kefta, but is now large. Originally named Dandelion, Kai decided that was a mouthful. Mina snuck him into the tower during one of her first shifts, but his barking at ships alerted the Boss to his existence two weeks later. He is now kept in Mina’s quarters. He’s possibly an omnipotent god, but no one has tested this theory.
Puppy.
Full grown. (Saarloos Wolfdog)
Valentin (27): Desperately in love with the Boss. Will never work out, but he always hopes. One day she will probably smite him down in sheer irritation. The paper-pusher of the Tides, he is rarely called upon to do actual feats of water-wielding. Has opinions on pens. Has taken up knitting in an attempt to impress Boss with his skill, but he does so poorly that his yarn constantly tangles. Bumbling and a bit charming in his constant ineptitude, Valentin is a bigger gossip and matchmaker than the rest of the Tides combined. Currently attempting to set up Kai and Mina. Kerch.
Zemirah (23): Easily distracted. Sometimes she forgets she has a job to do but she’s been around so long that no one knows how to remind her (except Boss). Claims to be psychic of sorts but whether or not it’s true all her predictions are of incredibly obscure and unimportant situations. Horrible to have in the kitchen while cooking due to her tendency to make ominous comments that make no sense at all (“Do make sure that water is fully awake. I’d hate to see the house blown to bits”). Ridiculously observant of everything but what is directed at her. She means well, but occasionally spills other people’s tea before they even know what their tea is. Suli.
