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thinking about the grisha trilogy in mal’s pov is making me so suicidal 🙂 all my friends are dead 🙂 the love of my life is losing herself to her own powers 🙂 i spent all my life trying to be useful (to her) and my true usefulness is my death 🙂 and even before that if i get to be with her i’ll wither and age and die while she lives for centuries 🙂 i have no honor in my country 🙂 i have no home but her and she is uninhabitable 🙂 she loves me but not enough to save me 🙂
"you are the whole of my heart" "you're my flag. you're my nation" "i see you now" "i wanted more for you. a white veil in your hair. vows we could keep" "there is no end to our story" "this once, let me carry you" "i'll find my way back to you" "she's everything, you dumb son of a bitch" "i'll meet you in the meadow" "saints help me, alina, i want to live forever" "at least i can be a weapon in your hand" "she's worth it" "i wanted you to ask me to stay" "i won't fail you again" STRAIGHT UP CRACK IN MY VEINS. TO ME.
y’all know i’m ride or die for mal bc i liked him when he was just alina’s hot cocky childhood best friend
"you will die alone. and i will die in her arms." MY GOD THAT SHIT IS SO ROMANTIC AND ALSO THE SEXIEST THING TO EVER COME OUT OF MAL'S MOUTH
so many things abt this…. alina’s instinctual faith in mal and not even realizing he could say no to her…. mal’s own stalwart loyalty to get her everything she needs… both of them thinking the other doesn’t want them anymore and that even when they think they’re not on the same page they are in their hearts… mal stepping into the SUNLIGHT (alina). genuinely incredible interaction like it’s a full microcosm of their relationship in one moment fr
me every reread: the shadow and bone show fucked up the grisha trilogy so badly it makes my skin crawl
this is going to be a very Me post but alina changing, her identity warping into something unrecognizable, and the only familiar part of herself is the girl who loves mal and who she is at her core is that girl and finally getting to choose herself at the end instead of being everything everyone else wants her to be is sooooo bellyconklincoded like belly went to paris and tried to change everything about herself and it’s only when she chooses herself (the girl who loves conrad!!!!) that she finally is Herself and is HAPPY
I CAME HERE FOR YOU. YOU’RE MY FLAG. YOU’RE MY NATION. i genuinely cannot stand being alive rn. the fact that they kinda broke up after this is so dizzying. like he follows alina out of love and devotion even at the expense of himself. he has spent his entire life trying to be useful!! to her!! and now it seems like she doesn’t need him anymore not as a friend not as a lover not as a weapon not as anything other than a tracker and he’s fumbling to figure out where he stands 😵💫
