how come lexa has to mercy kill a second?? would clarke be there with her?? also how old was lexa when she made her first kill??
Lexa has to mercy kill a second because pain and suffering are my bread and butter. Lols no but, in reality. It’s prolly after some territory skirmish or something, and the kids mentor is dead and already set for the prye. And this kid, this tiny little baby faced kid, is in the medic tent, stitches barely keeping his insides in, bandages bled through already, and clarke, sweet darling precious clarke, really really wants to save them. But to be honest, nyko is mostly just trying to make the kid comfortable, because he/she can’t be saved and theyve got a dozen other grounders who can be saved to take care of.
So, maybe lexa pokes her head in, just to check and see how things are, to take a head count and everything, but also to pass by and put a hand to a shoulder there, a forehead here, yknow. spread some peace and ease. And nyko meets her eyes across the distance, nodding his head toward this kid, and. and this is one of Lexa’s unwritten duties. This is a thing she doesn’t have to do, but does anyways, because this kid has fought for her, and shed blood for her, and it’s the least she can do.
And Lexa is kinda sorta everyone’s mom, and daughter, and sister. So like. There’s a sense of pride, in having Heda come see you off. This kid can be scared and crying and shaking, but if Lexa comes to sit at their bedside, and hold their hand, and tell them how proud and thankful she is, it makes death a little bit easier. and she’s so so gentle, they don’t even feel it, not like they would have if Nyko and Clarke had just left them there.
And when clarke comes back around to see Lexa sitting there, too in the way for clarke to see anything, clarke asks her to move, that she needs to check on them. But Lexa shoo’s her away, tells her not to bother. And for a hot second, Clarke is sad and heartbroken because she thinks this kid just died on their own, but she moves and there’s blood blossoming still across their chest, and lexa hasn’t even bothered to wipe her fingers clean. And, and ‘what the fuck did you do??’ but lexa is so shattered and tired looking, totally just shrugs her off, ‘don’t yell clarke, and don’t condemn what you can’t understand.’ and walks the fuck out.
they talk about it later though, because lexa always gets sort of blue having to mercy kill her kids, and clarke apologizes for making her feel even more shitty than she already was.
uhm. fuck, this is getting long. I like to think that Lexa was twelve/thirteen, and she didn’t even like...it wasnt planned? But more of a reactionary, kill or be killed sort of thing. Or maybe she was defending one of the grownups of the group, up in a tree being spotter or something. But, either she takes the shot and kills the person, or one of her own gets cut down. she’s a little adrenaline and battle high tbh, and doesn’t really..it doesn’t sink in until later? Idk ask me again in a few days and I’ll have thought about it more.
