So. @miserabull and @passionatememes are writing this incredible Bad Grief/Rubin fic and while I didn’t initially see it, obviously they’ve convinced me otherwise as I did make a playlist for it.
summary: joel faints and bruce realises he may not be as straight as he seems
AO3
Bruce hurries off stage, letting the fake anger fall from his body almost the moment he knows he’s hidden from the view of the ‘audience’ (it's only a rehearsal. There are tech and sound out there, some of the front of house guys and their director. It’s not quite what Bruce considers an audience, but when people have forgotten lines three times already, he’s glad of it.) Lawrence is talking almost silently, pausing only to give Bruce a thumbs up as he walks past. Something had fallen out of somewhere and Bruce guesses Lawrence is trying to work out what it is and when it’s fixable.
Joel is settled in the darkness of the wing, sat cross-legged on the spare chair. He's leaning forward, squinting his face as he concentrates on Adam and Elyse still on-stage, and the sound of their passionate argument. Bruce takes a quick glance at the script Lawrence has opened on the table, then decides to hover by Joel so he can steal the chair when he gets up.
Joel looks. Stunning. Is it gay to consider a guy this stunning? The dim lights catch his face, highlighting the green in his eyes. His front curl has already fallen back in front of his forehead, from his insistent playing with it. The director has tried to get him to stop, and failed each time. Bruce thinks it fits Joel- the character he's playing (of course) - far better.
Adam says a line and Joel perks up, Lawrence glancing their way at the cue. Bruce steps to the side and Joel stands, pushing himself up with a perk in his step and reaching for his prop. Then, it seems he blinks, and then suddenly he's falling.
“Joel?!” Bruce shoots forward, barely able to grab the lanky body before it hits the ground. He goes down with him, his knees hitting the floor with Joel laid out over them, his head tucked into his chest. Joel's eyes are shut, mouth open slightly as he breathes and thank fuck, he's breathing. He looks almost serene, the asshole. Bruce manages to drag his stare away, looks up and meets Lawrence’s.
Lawrence is still sat in place, mouth hanging slightly open like one of their broken props. Bruce isn't even sure he's blinking. The scene is still continuing on stage, Joel was just meant to be doing a simple walk on, walk off. Maybe they haven't noticed? Bruce looks at the light shining into the wings, then back at Lawrence, giving a hopeless gesture that looks fairly pathetic considering there's a fully grown man in his arms. Lawrence finally moves, tugging on the wire from his headset. He places a finger under Joel’s neck, shutting his eyes and focusing.
“Does anybody know first aid? Joel just fainted.” Lawrence sounds a lot less stressed than he looks, the magic of theatre. James has appeared from the dressing rooms, looking just as hopeless as the rest of them. He shrugs, panicked, and rushes off back to hopefully get help. It's a blessing, that by the time the director - Burnie - gets there followed shortly by Spoole and not Matt (there's a lighting cue coming up and they still haven't stopped the performance) , Joel is just blinking awake, groaning into Bruce's chest. Bruce hates to admit how much he jumps, and goes completely still to not bother him.
“Hey, Joel, you with us?” Burnie asks, softly.
There's a small moan, a blink, “Yeah, I think so? Shit, what happened?”
“You fainted at your cue. You stood up, and then you passed out.” Lawrence's voice doesn't hide the stress in it now. He's moved the headset to around his neck, more out of the way. It's at this point that Joel looks up, makes eye contact with Bruce, and Bruce can feel his face heat up and oh shit this is embarrassing fuck-
“Did I seriously?” Joel says, completely unaffected by whatever the fuck that was and how dare he? It's at this point Bones appears, cradling a bottle of water that he passes to Joel.
“James told me what happened. It's on the house.” He winks as he leaves. Joel just holds it to his side, makes no move to get up off Bruce.
“Are you going to be alright to continue tonight?” Burnie asks, ever to business, of course.
Joel nods, “Should be, I think I might need to eat something, though.” Lawrence gives him a look.
“Again, Joel? Really?” He sounds so done with this all and Bruce feels him. This show has been a hell of a journey so far. He knows he's partially to blame, too.
“I'll tell them to stop the scene, do ten minutes sound okay to you?” Burnie asks. Joel nods and then Burnie’s off, Spoole following behind him like a jittery puppy. Lawrence gets up too, taking his headset off and rushing off behind them. Which leaves Bruce. With Joel. Still in his lap. Why does this kind of shit happen to him, what did he do to deserve this, what the fuck?
“So, how are you?” Joel looks up at Bruce again and Bruce scowls at him. Finally shoves him to sit upright. Then, Joel wobbles, and Bruce immediately ends up offering his shoulder to him because he's fickle, damn it. “Wow, rude!” Bruce can't think of a response, and thankfully he doesn't have to, as there's the sound of Burnie ending the scene and Elyse and Adam rushing off stage, dropping beside them.
“Joel, oh my gosh, are you okay?” Elyse says, touching Joel with fluttering fingers, ever so careful.
“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Do you guys have any snacks stored away somewhere?” Joel brushes her off carefully. Elyse perks up, grabbing Adam's hand.
“Joel, I always have snacks, who do you take me for?” She stands, pulling Adam up, dragging him away and Bruce only manages a small wave at them both. Which leaves them. Alone. Again. Joel is lying on Bruce's shoulder now, almost pressing into his neck.
“So, you caught me, huh?” Joel asks him, softly, so his voice doesn't carry onto the stage. Bruce tries to speak and on his first attempt, his voice gets stuck in his throat.
“Um, yeah. Yeah.” He takes a breath, “I wasn't exactly going to let you fall, was I?” Joel laughs, and Bruce doesn't know whether to focus on the ring of his laugh or the feeling of his breath against Bruce's skin.
“Yeah, I'm sure.” Joel is looking up at him with a smile and Bruce smiles back automatically. A bit of the artificialness vanishes from around Joel's eyes and he tucks his face into the crook of Bruce's neck. “Thanks.”
“You're, you're welcome.” Bruce hopes the low lighting hides how red he's sure his cheeks must be. He cannot believe, how many years of acting school, and he's acting like a damn teen around this man. This is bullshit. Joel shuts his eyes, head still resting on Bruce. His smile is lazy and relaxed, more relaxed than Bruce has seen for a long while. He finally yawns, sits up and grabs the drink Bones brought for him.
“Are you ready to continue?” Joel asks. Bruce looks at him, confused.
“Shouldn't I be asking you that?” He replies. Joel turns, dropping the bottle from his mouth to smile at Bruce again. Bruce tries to ignore how his heart flutters.
“Are you two still out here?” James pokes his head up from the stairs to backstage. “Elyse has so many snacks she could feed a small army and she'll be offended if you don't eat them.”
Joel nods, waves his hand towards him, “We're coming. Don't worry.”
“Oh, I didn't know I was interrupting something!” Bruce opens his mouth to protest but James is already gone, giggling down the corridor. Joel has a hand on his neck, finally having the decency to look a bit embarrassed, like Bruce hasn't been for the last what feels like forever.
“We should. Go.” Joel stutters out. Bruce nods, mutely. He stands first, and Joel ends up leaning on his shoulder, still. He looks completely at peace on Bruce's shoulder and almost like he was meant to be there and oh god this is gay, isn't it?
Elyse pulls them into her and James’ dressing room, food spread out over the entire table, “I thought you were never coming!”
“And miss stealing your food,? Not for the world, ‘Lyse.” Joel finally stands on his own, leaves Bruce's side and Bruce immediately feels a cold wash over him. He looks at Joel, only realises he's staring when Joel looks back, grins at him with a cookie in his mouth and Bruce has to look away quickly to find a corner to hide in. He sits, dropping into the chair and taking a deep breath. James appears at his side, nudging him with his elbow.
“You know you have to kiss him for like, eleven performances, right?” Bruce's breath catches in his throat, his eyes widen and hand grips the chair. James is immediately giggling again, already going to join the others at the table and leaving Bruce sat there like he hasn't just ruined his entire world.
The others start filing back out the room when the two-minute bell rings. Bruce gets up to follow them, but Joel's hand is on his arm and he stops, holds his breath as the others disappear around the corner. When they're gone, Joel tugs him, pulls him to face him.
“Bruce, I wanted to genuinely thank you for earlier. It could've been a lot worse if you didn't catch me and I- yeah.” He tilts his head down, his curls hide Bruce's view of his eyes but Bruce is sure there's red across his cheeks. Hell, the way he shuffles on his feet, the way his fingers twitch where they're still holding Bruce's sleeve. Joel is. Actually embarrassed. He looks up again, meets Bruce's eyes and god Bruce could get lost in those eyes, “Thank you.”
“You're. Still welcome.”
Joel doesn't break eye contact, “I'm glad.” They're both just staring and Bruce doesn't want to look away. So, of course, it's Lawrence who bangs on the wall. They both jump away from each other, laughing nervously.
“We should.” Bruce points to the door.
“Yeah.” Joel nods, rushes off ahead, trying to push his curls back up into place. Bruce stares after him for a moment, tries to make sense of everything. He jumps when he realises Lawrence is stood in the doorway.
“You've got it bad.” He tells him, pats Bruce on the back before leaving him alone. Bruce takes a breath, rubs his hand down his face.
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.” He mutters.
He thinks he might not mind kissing Joel so much anymore.
