Gryffindor Thor: Do you think Professor Dumbledore would let me test whether of not the Demenors are susceptible to a lightning producing spell?
Slytherin Loki: Why not just use you own lightning? You wouldn’t even need your wand!
Gryffindor Thor: I already tried my own lightning. They just kept dodging! Besides the other wizards don’t have my lightning powers!
Slytherin Loki: When in the WORLD did you- You know what? I don’t even want to know. Are there any other reasons you want to use a spell instead of your own power?
Gryffindor Thor: Because I want to be as WANDerful as Professor Dumbledore!
Slytherin Loki: Never make that joke again or I will hex you!
Anonymous asked:
hi, I have two background requests:) I'd like a Loki background, with the main colour scheme as green. the second one I'd like to ask for it to be Slytherin Loki and Gryffindor Thor, but if that one is to hard to find aesthetic pictures for than I'd want it to be just a Norse God aesthetic (if that makes sense?)
Summary: (Y/N) has had just about enough of Loki Laufeyson and his gang bullying her and her fellow Hufflepuffs, so she calls upon a certain son of Odin to help her get back at the annoying Slytherin menace.
Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x reader
Warnings: swearing, bullying, minor mentions of blood, Loki being a shithead
Word Count: 2.5k
A/N: disclaimer I’m actually a Ravenclaw, but the story seemed to work better with Hufflepuff!reader bc who doesn’t love those beautiful little beans?? If there are any Hufflepuffs reading this that want me to change the character to be more realistic, lmk and I’ll be happy to work with you <3 also shoutout once again to @bigexplodingstar bc Sarah is the patron saint of me getting my life together <3 <3 <3
Walking with a few of your fellow Hufflepuffs down the hall, you couldn’t help but tense when you spotted Loki and his gang of obnoxious friends, all dressed in green and silver accented robes.
As soon as his sights zeroed in on you, you knew. You never understood why, but he’d always taken great joy in torturing you more than any of your friends, even your fellow muggleborn friends.
“(Y/N), sweetie,” he crooned in that infuriatingly condescending voice, “it seems as though you’ve got one of your unhealthy muggle sweets on your robes.”
A blush raced up from the very tips of your toes to cover your neck and face in an unattractive red color, which made Loki and his crew burst into laughter, all jostling each other as they moved on, Loki purposefully knocking your shoulder and making you spill your texts and papers all over the hallway.
“Go eat a brick and choke, Laufeyson,” you muttered under your breath, causing your friend closest to you, Gina, to pause in her gathering of papers to stifle her giggles.
“You are always finding clever ways to insult people,” she teased, a smile on her face before she saw the buildup of unshed tears shining in your eyes. “Aw, (Y/N), don’t let those pure-bloods get to you, they love to make everyone who isn’t like them feel bad about it.”
You nodded and shrugged, wiping at your eyes quickly and giving her a fond smile. “It’s weird to be thrown into all of these politics that I had no clue existed until a few years ago; this whole place is still pretty crazy to me if I’m being honest. I mean, a school full of magic? C’mon, that’s something you read about in books.”
Her reply was cut off as you heard chatter begin around you, making you and Gina both scan the area for what the buzz was about.
“(Y/N), who did this?” You nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard the booming voice of your friend Thor from behind you.
“O-Oh, hey Thor… Uh, nobody, I was just being my clumsy self,” you floundered for an excuse lamely, making him give you a knowing look that told you he saw straight through your shit.
“You offend me, (Y/N); I’m a jock, not dim,” he sighed, before bending down to grab your things from you and standing up with you and Gina.
“Who do you think it was Thor? Loki’s bent on making my life miserable,” you muttered, scuffing your feet and shrugging hopelessly.
Instead of the outburst you expected from him, the burly man only let out a rather raucous laugh, handing you your texts back so he could grip the breast of his red and gold robes with mirth.
“Oh, my friend, if you could see into the head of my brother, you’d change your mind quite quick,” he chuckled, pulling you into a bone crushing hug before excusing himself to his next class.
○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○
LOKI P.O.V.
My blood boiled as I watched my oaf of an adopted brother pull (Y/N) into a firm hug.
He had no right to go meddling in my affairs, and he knew just what he was doing.
As I continued to watch (Y/N) from my spot at an outdoor table in the courtyard that had become infamous for being Slytherin central, I paid close attention to the tense way she held her shoulders and her downtrodden expression. It hurt to know that I was the cause of that look, but Father would kill me if he found that I had been fraternizing with a Hufflepuff, and a mudblood at that.
An old hatred for Thor flared up again, making me grit my teeth as I wondered what made him so special that Father would allow him to traipse around, befriending anybody he wished.
As I watched her leave, my thoughts turned once again towards (Y/N) and the knowledge that I’d never be able to interact with her outside of these childish antics I’d been putting her through in hopes to get her to stop being so damn kind towards me in class. I’d tried to put her off originally by asking for quills and never giving them back to possibly show her that I wasn’t interested in being any more friendly than desk mates.
She didn’t seem to get the hint, and the guilty feeling in my gut only grew as I had become harsher and harsher towards her in an attempt to convince myself that there was absolutely nothing charming about a girl too kind to defend herself.
○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○
It had been a few days since the last time Loki had harassed you, and you were becoming suspicious. You weren’t sure why he hadn’t struck again sooner, and you were becoming paranoid as you waited for the other shoe to drop.
When Gina came barreling into your room three nights later after dinner, tear stained and distraught, it finally seemed to drop, hitting you right in the heart as it fell.
As she told you the story of how Loki and some of his friends had cornered her outside of the dining hall, tormenting her relentlessly over her blood status and (quite traumatic) upbringing, your hands began to shake with an anger you’d never felt towards any other person before.
“Gina, honey, do you still know where that fancy quill you were telling me about is?” You questioned her stoically, causing her to look up at you in a panic.
“(Y/N), n-no, you’ll get in trouble,” she sniffled, curling further into your side as you smiled grimly down at her, resting your cheek to her hair.
“Don’t you worry about that, I know someone who’ll help,” you soothed, holding her tightly through the night until her sobs and sniffles had faded into the rhythmic breathing of sleep.
○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○
The next morning, you set out to the Quidditch pitch, intent on finding Thor quickly before you were interrogated by your fellow Hufflepuffs (bless them) on why you were in such a foul mood.
Instead, you found the one person whom you’d ever wished harm upon.
“(Y/L/N), here to make a fool of yourself?” A snarky voice questioned behind you, thinly veiled mockery dripping from his tone.
“‘Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous,’” you quoted, watching his rather un-ugly face scrunch in anger and the barest hint of a smirk before spotting Thor and calling his name.
“(Y/N), what are you doing out here?” He asked as you arrived at his side, a grin splitting his face as he pulled you into one of his signature crushing hugs.
“Thor, I need your help,” you told him softly, looking you at him without a hint of joy in your normally sanguine features, “he’s gone too far this time.”
Hackles raising almost instantly, his gaze found Loki over your shoulder, who was already watching your exchange with a cool mask molded over his features. “What has my brother done to wrong you? I swear, if he’s harmed you, I will make him pay,” he vowed, brow furrowed in concern.
“No, no, I just- I need to ask you for a cover,” you said, before launching into an explanation of the events of the previous night, as well as your plan to get back at Loki.
“(Y/N), Loki isn’t one to be messed with like this, I worry about the consequences of your plan. Not to mention if you get caught.” He worried, before seeing the determined set to your jaw and raising his hands in surrender. “I’ll do what I can,” he relented.
○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○
Later that day during dinner, Loki noticed the absence of you, as well as the absence of the obnoxious booming laughter of his brother among the idiot’s friend group. Something was going on, and Loki wasn’t one to be out of the loop when mischief was involved.
Excusing himself from dinner, he found himself wandering the halls, trying to detect where you and his brother could possibly be, for there was no other explanation as to why both of you’d be gone unless you were with each other creating mischief. Luckily, mischief happened to be Loki’s middle name.
Loki finally found what he was looking for as he rounded the corner, seeing Thor run a hand through his hair to fix it while you readjusted your robes with reddened ears, a sure sign that the two of you’d been up to no good.
“Well, I hope this isn’t an attempt to plot my downfall; you’ll have to be much more covert if you want that to work,” Loki taunted sarcastically, a grin stretching his features as he watched you jump practically out of your skin at his sudden arrival. He did well to hide the jealousy still kindled within him towards Thor being able to be your friend (or seemingly more), but quelled it with the bitter knowledge that you were much too passive to get along well someone like Loki.
Before he could say any more, you gave Thor a knowing look and bit your lip, mumbling an excuse to leave.
“(Y/N), wait,” Thor called, grabbing your arm gently and pulling you into one of his giant bear hug, a chuckle of, “he’s still oblivious, and practically green with envy.” Letting you go slowly, he pressed a kiss to your temple before releasing you.
Sure enough, as you passed Loki in the hall, he looked quite crestfallen, which confused you to no end and made a pang of something echo in your chest.
However, that pang was thoroughly snuffed as his wolfish grin returned along with a mocking, “where’s my hug, (Y/N)?”
“Go piss on an electric fence, Laufeyson,” you grumbled as you passed him, still very angry with him about his treatment of Gina.
All you got in response was a chuckle from behind you, Loki giving you the closest thing to a look of admiration Thor had ever seen on his brother’s face.
○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○ ・○・ ○
The next day during your shared History of Magic, sure as the sun rises, Loki’d breezed in late and asked (demanded) to borrow a quill from you.
You sighed as you normally did, but this time instead of scowling into your bag, you had to bite back a grin as you pulled the black feathered quill from your supplies and handed it over to him, having trained your face into your usual miserable look whenever you were around Loki.
“You certainly have an ugly taste in quills, (Y/N), what sort of muggle-looking monstrosity is this?” Loki tutted before dipping the quill into his pot of ink to begin his notes for the class.
As he began, Loki felt a sharp scratching on the back of his hand and paused to itch at it, a mild look of shock flitting across his face as his fingers came away with the barest hint of blood. Being sat in the back of the classroom, nobody around seemed to notice his look of bewilderment as he saw an exact copy of what he’d written moments before carved into the back of his hand.
“(Y/N), you wily little woman,” Loki chuckled in amazement, grinning down at you unabashedly, “it seems you’ve outfoxed me.”
You only glared back up at him, a defiant set to your jaw. “It’s what you deserve after what you did to Gina. You ought to apologize, you scoundrel,” you admonished. With a raised brow and a look that you had to admit looked quite like adoration, he inclined his head, seeming to agree to your demand.
“So you won’t stand up for yourself, but the moment one of your friends is in distress, you enlist my brother to exact your revenge,” he mused, having finally figured out what you and Thor were doing in the hallway, “a Hufflepuff through and through, my dear.”
Instead of trying to figure out what that look on his face was for, you offered him a quill that wouldn’t scar his hand permanently with history notes and ignored his near constant glances your way for the rest of the lecture.
Once you were let out of class, you hastily collected your things and made a beeline for the door only to be stopped in the hallway when you felt a hand touch your shoulder gently, causing you to tense up instinctively.
“I mean no harm,” you heard Loki’s voice, a hint of something sounding suspiciously close to guilt coloring his tone. Straightening your shoulders, you looked up into his eyes, raising an eyebrow to him.
“That seems to be going against your usual M.O., doesn’t it?” You quipped, emboldened by your earlier rebellion against the man in front of you.
Having the courtesy to appear somewhat stricken by your comment, he took a deep breath and began his story of how his father was always expecting more from him than Thor; about how being a Slytherin like his father put even more pressure on him since Thor was a Gryffindor; about how he was shamed from interacting with anyone who wasn’t a pure-blood by his father.
“Loki… you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to do more to impress your father just because you’re adopted,” you spoke softly, a gentle hand placed on his forearm to try and comfort him. You weren’t quite sure where this one-eighty turn came from, but you’d take this Loki over the one who you now understood hid his pain in malice.
He was quite obviously upset, and you suspected that being in a highly visible place like the hallway wasn’t helping matters. Making a quick decision, you grabbed his hand and led him to a quiet clearing you liked to retreat to when things got too hectic inside the walls of the school.
As you settled into the grass across from him, you noticed that he was staring at you with that same look as before, making you furrow your brows. “Would you stop looking at me like the human version of the heart eyes emoji?” You joked lamely, only to receive a blank stare from him.
“The what?”
“Christ, I forget you savages don’t have smartphones,” you grumbled softly, hearing an offended scoff across from you.
“Savage? My family has been part of the Ministry for centuries,” he argued, scowling at you.
“Well, what’s so special about that when I can look at memes?”
“What the bloody fuck is a meme?”
“Loki, if we’re going to try to be friends, you’re going to need to convince your father to get some WiFi up in here,” you sighed.
“That still doesn’t explain what the hell a ‘meme’ is,” he huffed, utter exasperation written across his face.
You only giggled at his expression, still caution to get close to him as you pulled out your phone and began showing him saved photos of undoubtedly outdated memes.
Spending the remainder of your phone's battery life sat in that field trying to explain what a meme was, you decided that maybe, just maybe, Loki Laufeyson wasn't an absolute bastard; just an annoying shithead.
MCU Hogwarts AU, done a million times probably. But I’ll outline what my verse will be like:
The Avengers
We have here:
Slytherin Steve, a muggleborn who is sweet and kind and pretty stuck to what’s right but is also cunning and resourceful, wouldn’t know how to follow an order if it was imperiused into him and will stop at nothing to do what he wants and believes is right. He’s the little guy and is used to thinking on his feet and, sure, he gets into alley-fights the way normal people breathe but that’s just helped him learn how to use what he does have and think quick. And his mom always told him that being the little guy doesn’t mean being any less, and he knows he’ll make a difference one day.
He pretty much had a heart attack when he got his letter. Then he felt something rush in him, something in him sparking because, oh, his mom is right he can make something bigger of himself.
And on the train, when he saw two first-years being bullied by some fifth-years and, in typical Steve fashion, rushed in to help, everyone had him down for yet another unthinking Gryff.
He’s a Slytherin and everyone was surprised and then (much, much later) they weren’t because he’s Steve, where else would he be? He helps out the terrified firsties and he is sweet and nice (unless you’re a bully, he can’t stand that) and he can actually shut Peeves up, simply by being unrepentantly Steve. Honestly, he can make anyone deeply ashamed with his Look. (Tony swears he’s going to weaponise it one day. “THOSE DARK WIZARDS WILL NEVER STAND A CHANCE, STEVE”)
But he’s also willing to do anything to get what he wants, isn’t afraid to break some rules and thinks quick, thinks fast and knows when it is he has to lie and charm his way through. He’s resourceful and smart and the Hat told him that Slytherin would be best for him, that he’ll go far. When he heard that, he thought of asking for Gryffindor, or Hufflepuff or something, but that thought was drowned out by the stark realization of what he could be, what he could do.
and so the Hat called out “SLYTHERIN” and everyone was surprised but he wasn’t.
Ravenclaw Tony, who takes everything apart and puts em together but better, a pureblood from a powerful family who woke up one day and decided that stigmatizing muggle technology was stupid and then proceeded to marry it with magic, often with powerfully disastrous results. He got his first warnings from the ministry when he was twelve for creating a magical smartphone over the break (i.e: he kinda just took apart an iphone and gave it magical features and it wasn’t a big deal BUT THEY CONFISCATED IT WHY WHY WHY), and he cackled insanely because it took them a year to notice. Howard and Maria are very, very done with his shit.
Howard Stark is a bigshot inventor of the purely magical variety, and Tony has no idea why he never thought that maybe they should work with the science that’s taken the Muggles to space while the wizards are here in the FLIPPIN’ DARK AGES, JARV, WHAT ARE WE, STUPID? (Jarvis, the long-suffering butler, only nods and suggests that perhaps young master should eat before he collapses and eight-year-old Tony gives him a “NO JARV, I’M MAKIN’ HISTORY HERE!”)
He takes online muggle courses because fuck everyone else, he’ll learn what he wants and no one can stop him.
One could hear a number of people not being surprised when the hat announced him Ravenclaw. Tony grins and knows pretty well he’s going to change the world. He then proceeds to cause chaos at Hogwarts, turning accepted ideas on their heads and beginning what is termed as the Wizarding Renaissance. (”No, Tony, you are not calling it that.” “IT’S A MOVEMENT, STEVE.”) And he’s painted his name right up there with the legendary Marauders and the Weasely Twins in terms of genius pranking.
He’s Tony Stark, of course he’ll change everything.
Hufflepuff Clint, who grew up in an orphanage and basically flipped his shit because WIZARDSSS??? YASSS. He’s got an uncanny aim and is used to looking after the tinies at the orphanage because they’re alone and abandoned but not really because they have each other. And he was vaguely sad to leave the kids and go off to some fancy school but hell, it’s a wizard school.
He’s loyal to the death and he’ll stick by his friends, he knows that family is what you make of it and he has his family, he and Nat and Phil and that Bucky kid and Steve and Tony and Bruce and Sam and and Bruce and Thor and they have a weird group but eh they’re family.
Also Quitdditch happens and it’s a proven fact that Barton won’t miss a shot, ever. He brings Hufflepuff the glory of the Quidditch Cup in his second year, after he got chosen for the team when he wiped the floor with everyone else aw, yeah.
And when the Hat tells him he’s a Puff, he says, “isn’t that the sissy house?”, the Hat tells him that Hufflepuff meant family and home and never backing down and strength and numbers and honestly, angry badgers are terrifying and fighting for what’s yours and Clint can’t think of how that’s sissy at all. Hufflepuffs could totally rule the world together, if only because the Gryffs and the Slytherins will be brawling over it (ah, house rivalry) and Ravenclaws don’t give a fuck and Hufflepuff knows how to work together, to band as one and use each person’s strength and damn that is awesome.
When people tell him he’s ‘too brave to be a puff’ or ‘why aren’t you in gryffindor’, he only grins because they’re idiots.
Gryffindor Natasha which surprised even her because she’s ruthless and cunning and she’s pretty underhanded and smart and she sure as hell isn’t a loud, self-righteous Gryffindor.
But she is. She’s Gryffindor, grown up knowing what it is to be alone and with a will of steel, she won’t bend for anyone and she has been told, by many, many people, that she is sneaky and terrifying and deadly, but she is also unflinching and daring and she will go against the most ridiculous of odds. It takes her years to finally see it. Red and gold looks strange on her, and the chivalry and doing what’s right part came much later, but she is gryffindor and she is steel and unflinching fire. It makes sense, years later.
She likes flying but not Quidditch, though Clint tells her she’d be a killer Seeker. She still hates Quidditch.
She is still sneaky and underhanded and knows all the secret passages and cunning, and she still spends time with Barton (”We’re hilarious, Nat. I’m a Puff and you’re a Gryff, this is insane.”) and tries her best to either thwart Stark or help him out for prank reasons. She knows the twisty castle inside and out and Peeves and the other ghosts give her a wide berth because of the cold steel in her eyes but she’s a lioness.
Lionesses tread softly and kill exceptionally well. Lions might throw themselves into the fray and fight and fight and fight until they die but not a lioness, no.
She learns what’s right and not, to stand up for that and the Hat chose Gryffindor because she needed that, needed to see that she’s more than she she thought she was.
Ravenclaw Bruce, who is quiet and has sharp eyes and was told by the Hat that Gryffindor could make him great, but chose Ravenclaw instead. He wanted Ravenclaw because he was once a frightened little boy with something hot like rage at the pit of his belly who was too afraid to do anything and he once dreamed of Gryffindor, home of the lions, but he knew when he put that Hat on that Ravenclaw would be his home.
Because he heard of a door that asked questions, and opened to a well-thought out answer, never mind if it isn’t right in the traditional sense, heard of a house full of people that asked questions like he did, wanted to know like he did.
(And he doesn’t like to think about how he only ever asked those questions to escape what’s real and more frightening, like his dad who raged and raged and never got over how he was a squib, and his pureblood mom who went against everyone to marry him and loved him even when he turned that rage on her.)
(Bruce does not think about how he has rage too, deep, deep down in the pit of his consciousness, where he buries it because he’s afraid of himself. Gryffindor will only make that rage worse, he thinks.)
And he meets Tony Stark and he teaches Bruce the sky isn’t the limit because they have space travel to go beyond the mesosphere and Nat who teaches him to hide his rage and Clint who teaches him what family is and Steve who teaches him that his knowledge is a pretty good shield and how he doesn’t necessarily need to be big and brawny to protect himself and Thor who teaches him that rage has it’s uses.
And Ravenclaw teaches him that his mind should be open and he should learn and learn and change the world and he’s pretty at home, actually.
(And one day, Bruce learns not to be afraid of himself.)
Gryffindor Thor, and no one was surprised when he was put into Gryffindor, no one even questioned it. Because he is Thor, who shines like the sun and stands up for what’s right, is loud and brash and has a heart of gold.
He is Thor, who smiles at everyone, and plays at being a hero and idolizes Harry Potter because he defeated the Dark Lord and wants to be great. He knows he isn’t brilliant the way Loki is (Loki, who is too-sharp and too-clever) and he is too much, too much energy and brightness, unable to hold still. And he forgets his strength and forgets to be humble and is often arrogant.
He is cruel, sometimes, thoughtlessly cruel and those days he thinks that perhaps he is not so Gryffindor. He does not think, acts on whims and causes trouble without really meaning to. And he grew up in luxury, with parents who adored him and sometimes does not understand his friends.
Not Tony, who screams for his father to see him, who is sharp and jagged and akin to Loki in ways that make Thor flinch. Not Steve, who should be exactly like him but is not (which is why he is Slytherin, Thor supposed.) Not Natasha, Gryffindor like him but quiet and dark and not Clink, who is not-quiet and screaming for something no one can quite name. And not Bruce, who is quiet and mild-mannered but is also very, very angry.
Thor did not know what it is to grow up feeling alone, or having to fight. And he will never understand. But he understands that now, and learns to slowly curb his arrogance and entitlement. And he feels worthy of Gryffindor now, most days.
Holy fuck that’s long. Will be continued in part two.
