#guymontagburning

[groommandagroom]

I really do have the best friends. <3

[speakingintothevoid]

mangycarface replied to your post “My friends just asked me if I’d be willing to DM their first foray...”

i think ud be great at it

guymontagburning replied to your post “My friends just asked me if I’d be willing to DM their first foray...”

You have to start somewhere! I think you'd be a great DM.

Thanks! I'm excited to try.

[zookmurnig]

All from the tiniest of triggers. I got a text from the Assistant Director of Nursing at work this morning while I was in class, asking me to come in and do a little charting on something that happened over the weekend, and wanting to know whose idea something was.  I never responded.  I just looked at it, and ruminated over it all the way home from school, and all through the rest of the morning, and over lunch, all the way until I had to go out the door to work.

When I saw it, I told myself I'd go in a little early and do the charting.  No big deal.  But I got home and promptly started worrying about whether that would get me in trouble, because she asked me to come in "this morning."  But I hadn't answered!  I can't answer now, what will I say?  In the end, not only did I NOT go in early, but I had to struggle to get there on time, as I had wasted far too long sitting in the floor of the shower berating myself over everything I've ever done wrong, and how I'm a bad nurse, and a bad student, and a bad parent, and how nobody notices it, but I still KNOW.

I need help.  I know I do.  I'm a huge proponent for professional psychiatric help, and I know I need it.  But I haven't sought it out for the million little meaningless reasons that I haven't gone to the neurologist about my ADHD.  We don't have the money.  What if my insurance won't cover it?  When am I gonna do it, cause I don't have that kind of time!  It's all bullshit, and I need to cut through it, but my particular combination of anxieties, attention deficit, and depression work together to keep me isolated at home, wanting human contact, but denying any potential for it.  And that's all the more reason for me to berate myself in these manic episodes.

I feel like I have to hide, sometimes it's all I want to do.  I love talking with my friends, or even just being around them, but I never seek them out, even though I know that even if they don't do anything to make me feel better, they keep me from making myself feel worse.

countingcrowds, guymontagburning, thirddegreebyrne, I love you guys.  And everybody else that I follow, too.  I'm sorry to dump all this, but I just wanted to get it out there, while I'm feeling relatively okay.  And if you ever want to come over and just hang out, I'd love to.  Just give me a call.

[groommandagroom]

I'm glad little Lore is ok! She clearly was practicing her CQC to get ready for some metal gear adventures.

She does like to hide in boxes. I can’t tell if I’m horrified by her plan or proud.

I’m going to go with pride. My tiny snake eater. <3

[annadork-blog]

guymontagburning replied to your post: ahaaaaa i am so ill i need to go get ...

Oh man, that’s dicks. Were you feeling crummy last night?

Last night I was okay, but at work I'd been feeling all weird. I think my manager is sick too so I probably picked up whatever she has :(

[annadork-blog]

guymontagburning replied to your post: on the plus side my water is back on a...

oh my god they will never learn.

apparently neither will i since i left my only hairbrush in there

[annadork-blog]

guymontagburning replied to your post: fuck 21+ shows especially fuck 21+ sho...

Literally the best part of turning 21 was being able to go to shows anywhere.

i don't even wanna drink i just wanna see the milkstains ;_;

[octogetintherobot]

guymontagburning replied to your post: guymontagburning replied to your post:...

One vodka blood, please.

I do own a bottle of red anisette