#thirddegreebyrne

[zookmurnig]

All from the tiniest of triggers. I got a text from the Assistant Director of Nursing at work this morning while I was in class, asking me to come in and do a little charting on something that happened over the weekend, and wanting to know whose idea something was.  I never responded.  I just looked at it, and ruminated over it all the way home from school, and all through the rest of the morning, and over lunch, all the way until I had to go out the door to work.

When I saw it, I told myself I'd go in a little early and do the charting.  No big deal.  But I got home and promptly started worrying about whether that would get me in trouble, because she asked me to come in "this morning."  But I hadn't answered!  I can't answer now, what will I say?  In the end, not only did I NOT go in early, but I had to struggle to get there on time, as I had wasted far too long sitting in the floor of the shower berating myself over everything I've ever done wrong, and how I'm a bad nurse, and a bad student, and a bad parent, and how nobody notices it, but I still KNOW.

I need help.  I know I do.  I'm a huge proponent for professional psychiatric help, and I know I need it.  But I haven't sought it out for the million little meaningless reasons that I haven't gone to the neurologist about my ADHD.  We don't have the money.  What if my insurance won't cover it?  When am I gonna do it, cause I don't have that kind of time!  It's all bullshit, and I need to cut through it, but my particular combination of anxieties, attention deficit, and depression work together to keep me isolated at home, wanting human contact, but denying any potential for it.  And that's all the more reason for me to berate myself in these manic episodes.

I feel like I have to hide, sometimes it's all I want to do.  I love talking with my friends, or even just being around them, but I never seek them out, even though I know that even if they don't do anything to make me feel better, they keep me from making myself feel worse.

countingcrowds, guymontagburning, thirddegreebyrne, I love you guys.  And everybody else that I follow, too.  I'm sorry to dump all this, but I just wanted to get it out there, while I'm feeling relatively okay.  And if you ever want to come over and just hang out, I'd love to.  Just give me a call.

[maximumpenetration]

Concerning your hate holding as warrior; are you marking targets? A lot of people are willfully ignorant and will attack stuff you're not focusing on, even with marks up sometimes. Mark at least 1 & 2 and go from there. Tomahawk > Overpower > Flash > then whatever your combo is on #1. If a fight is going on for a while or if there's 3+ mobs I'd overpower again after the first dies

I typically run roulette with a BLM friend of mine, so he’s off AoEing this whether I’m marking them or not.

Like, if it was just single-target DPS I could hold hate fine. But I feel like I start slipping when a multi-target DPS or two gets in the mix.

[ladypoetess]

There's no reason to pull with provoke (though this isn't your issue with why you're losing hate early) as it only gives you the most hate +1 out of all party members, and since no one else has any hate its not really doing anything. You should start off with fight or flight (assuming you're PLD) shield lob > spirits within > fast blade > circle of scorn > then finish the regular combo. Your attack power determines how much enmity is generated on anything (including flash). Continued in next ask

What I assume was happening was you were losing hate to stupid healers who put up a medica II or something pre fight. That regen affect is a powerful hate magnet when no hate is established already. Or people were going all out before you had a chance to establish any decent enmity. Basically I don't think it was your fault and you were stuck with some ignorant people.

The FoF > SL > SW > FB > CoS > finish combo is new advice to me - I will try that out. That's similar to my soloing starting lineup, though I don't usually include FoF at the beginning, and I do usually include some debuffs from other classes (that I obviously don't have time/flexibility for in a group situation).

I don't know that people were deliberately being ignorant - half the party are skilled friends of mine, but 4 of the 8 of us were new to the fight. As oldfeathers keeps telling me, we're still learning how to do it. It's likely the WHM was precasting Medica II, though I didn't notice specifically. Does a SCH's Adloquium do the same thing? Either way, the WHM was pulling hate, but the SCH wasn't.

Thanks for the suggestions. :)

[lexxerduglas]

What kind of alcohol were you trying to get? It must be delicious.

CREAM ALE

A local brewery here in the Indianapolis area, Sun King, makes it. I tried it at a summer solstice festival last week and it was easily the smoothest beer I've ever had the pleasure of drinking. Light and mellow, but flavorful, and no bitter aftertaste. I hesitate to use the word sweet, because I think that brings to mind sugary coolers or rose wines and that's just not accurate, but it's quite decadent.