Want to know what happened to me as I was indulging in my fleshly pleasures?
“God please, please help me.” I sat up rocking myself forward and backwards with tears swiftly cascading down my eyes pleading with the Lord to help me as I found myself spiritually dead. My soul felt depleted. Dried up, besides my tears. Burdened with pain and sorrow. And I know, these words creating an instant down feeling, but the story of how God saved me is the sweet icing on the cake.
This is a long story, truly, that when I simmer on how to tell the story, I think of a million ways to give this story to the children who believe in The most High, but want to put it all into, a muffin, figuratively speaking.
I was lost, trying to find my worth in, men. A man. Seeking validation for everything. Finessed into not trusting my own inner compass. Ignoring the most high. Floating on my own worldly high. Having fun, yolo’ing on a lower scale, doing as thou wilt. Drunk in love. surfboarding.
All things that distracted me from my relationship with The Most High, although The Most High kept me close and protected me, because he knew his child was foolish. Feeble. Following “the wave.”
But! When I cried out! God showed me that I would walk away from the burning fire and never look back. He changed my mind about what I wanted and what I planned with life. He restored me.
As always with a testimony, there is still work in progress. Yielding to God is not an instant ending, it is also the beginning of a new fight. A harder fight. But a fight much worthier of the cause. The fight of living and being upright. A life of intentionally giving my self for God. A wise man once told me, “Repent everyday because hell is real.”
If you truly have a heart for God, and you want to live right, repent for running away from God and doing what you want and ask God to restore you like he did me. Believe and accept that God loves you and wants you to repent so that he can use you for his greatness!
