#h. lestat

[sinnersmarch]

pertaining to Gabrielle/a

there is no world in which "Sophia" did not SA Lestat. he may not have been a child at the time, but he was HER child and literally starving for love and approval, he could not consent. and despite all his showboating and the way he tried to twist their relationship from mother/son to maker/fledgling to gain some control over the situation, it does not erase the fact that she took advantage of him and his desperation for her (or anyone's) love. AND! not only did Daniel release a video of his centuries-long rape on the internet, Lestat then had to watch that video and relive the situation that he has been rationalizing and distracting himself from for way too long. and all this before he could fully face it himself.

[sinnersmarch]

Lestat's inability to see himself as worth loving though. HEAR ME OUT- this man wants to be loved. he craves to be loved with every fiber of his being. but he cannot see himself as someone worth loving if he is not giving something for it. if he is not buying that affection with gifts or gestures or time spent on their whims. Claudia was the epitome of this failing because while, yes, he made her in part to tether himself to Louis undeniably, he also made her because Louis ASKED IT OF HIM. Claudia, for all the complicated affections they hold for one another, was a grand gesture and a gift in the transactional nature of Lestat's understanding of love. for Lestat, love is not something inherent or freely given, it's something he must fight to earn with every honeyed word and every gift he can muster.

[sinnersmarch]

IWAV (the book in-universe) is entirely a biased account of Louis and Lestat's life together and does not account for how tortured and guilty Lestat really is over certain things he's done and said but Claudia especially.