Life Before You
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Summary: it’s one of your dates with Nat and she asked you about your childhood not realizing how similar you both actually are
Warning: angst, rather sad childhood, loneliness, emotionally absent family
A/N: just a short little vent fic cuz <//3 I will still post my Scarlett x Reader fic this week, so enjoy this little “treat”? HAHAHA hopefully you’ll enjoy this really short one, I’ll make it up to you guys in the next one! <33
“I’m sorry about the mess, I didn’t anticipate any visitors anytime soon” you shyly chuckle as you let Nat into your little apartment. “Make yourself at home, wine? water? juice even?”
You met Nat during a press conference for the Avengers’ image that was organized by Pepper. Luckily, your boss asked you to come in just to watch really as a reward for your current progress at work. He knew, after all, that you were a big fan so the stars aligned for the both of you.
After officially meeting at the green room and talking for a bit, Nat decided to ask you out to which you couldn’t help but say yes to. As a result, you both have been on a few dates lately, testing the waters of a possible relationship between you two. So far, a relationship would be within the horizon based on how smitten the two of you are to the other so it’s just the matter of time wether or not the ball drops for the better or for the worst.
Nat chuckles at your flustered state as she takes the chance to look around for a bit. “Wine would be great, and thanks for letting me stay for a bit. Didn’t want the date to end just yet”
“Ah yea no I feel you” you say from the kitchen as you grab a bottle of your favorite red wine and two wine glasses. “I’ve really enjoyed our dates Nat, truly”
“I’m glad you feel the same way” she quickly takes the wine bottle from you, pouring the wine into the glasses while you hold them out. After putting the bottle down, you hand her one of the glasses and sit down on the couch with her, facing each other on your sides. “To us”
“To us” you smile at the toast, clicking your glass against hers before taking a sip of your wine. The intimacy provided by the candles she lit up around your apartment giving a soft warm glow to your living room that could make anyone swoon.
After a few moments of comfortable silence between the both of you, Nat breaks it as she gently drapes her arm over your shoulders and pulling you closer to her making you giggle a little. “Can I ask you something?”
“Hmm sure if I could provide an answer” you say with a smile, taking a sip of your wine.
“I saw a photo of you and your family on your wall, can I know more about them?” You hum in thought at her question as you look behind the both of you at the mentioned picture frame.
“Oh that old thing” you mumble as you take another sip of your near emptying wine as Nat refills both of your drinks. “We’re nothing special honestly, just your average but small family”
“Are you busy? Can we play?” Your 7 year old self ask as you watch your siblings, who are hanging out in front of the television, continue to play their video games.
“As you can tell in the photo, I have two older siblings.. they’re both 10 and 15 years older than me” you reminisce as you gently swirl your wine. “They’re nice people, albeit have that older sibling bullying and all, but overall treated me good. Sadly, it didn’t really translate so well before I became 18”
“We’re playing a game right now, but you can watch on the couch if you want” the eldest says without looking away from the TV, laughing out loud as they win the round while the middle child shoves the eldest with a scowl on their face.
“You definitely cheated!” The youngest exclaims as they both start to rough house, laughing and having the time of their lives while you sit on the couch behind them with your stuffed bear in your arms. Not realizing the deep-seated feeling of loneliness starting to grow inside of you.
“They had each other growing up so they didn’t know how to fit me in their already established dynamic so I had to play by myself a lot” you explain as you finish the last bit of your wine, placing the glass down as Nat places hers as well. “Didn’t help that I was a lot more introverted as a child, so making friends as a whole wasn’t really my strong suit so in school and at home I didn’t have any playmates”
“Not even your parents?” She asks as she pulls you closer so you could cuddle with her on the couch.
“They try, but they were out of touch with playing with a child since its been a while since its been years then since they had my siblings” you smile softly as you start to tell another story.
“Daddy?” You ask softly as you gently open your father’s office door, peaking your head thru to see your father working on his computer. “Are you busy?”
“Y/N/N?” He asks as he looks over at you, swiveling his chair to the side so he could watch you come in with your stuffed bear in your arms. “What’s my little girl doing here?”
You open your arm for your father to place you on his lap. “I’m bored”
“You are?” He chuckles as he swivels his chair back so you could see what he was working on. “I’m a little busy but you can stay here while I work, is that fine?”
You hum in approval as your father goes back to work while you watch him with your little arms on his table and your chin resting on it.
“They never truly played with me, had to play by myself a lot since my siblings were in school by then and my father would work a lot so I only see everyone together on the weekends” Nat hums in thought as she gently traces shapes on your back as you place your head on her shoulder.
“Were you lonely?” She asks even though she has an idea what your answer would be.
“I guess you could say so yes, but it was something I was used to so I didn’t really process it as such till later on in life” you chuckle softly, pulling back slightly so you could look at Nat with a smile. “It was definitely hard, but they’re kind people, just emotionally detached so the concept of family love was kinda weird, maybe till now”
“Yea I get that” Nat mumbles softly as she remembers her own widow family. “But now? How are they?”
“The eldest has a family now, their poor daughter is being spoiled by me and the second eldest’s engaged with their fiancee so I think they’ll do well..” you trail off before quickly adding “hopefully” at the end of it making Nat chuckle.
“You know.. As cheesy as this sounds, but I don’t feel as lonely anymore” you state as you pull back from Nat’s arms completely so you could look at her properly.
“Really? How so?” Nat asks before realizing what just came out of her mouth, but a smile slowly grows on her face. The butterfly in her stomach flutters as you flash her a genuine smile on your face while you utter the next few words.
“Life before you has been gray, dark even, but I started to look forward to seeing you every week and I don’t feel as alone anymore.. so thank you Nat, for being you”
