#hagd asks

[haveagaydayorg]

Submission

What am I?? I don’t know who to ask about gender issues and I wanted to be anonymous but your asks don’t allow that so I thought I’d submit instead? Would you be able to post this anonymously?? 
I don’t know what label would suit me best and I like labels so I can ground who I am as a person as I have a lot of issues with personal identity. 
When I was a kid I wanted to be a boy and even tried to run away and change my name but… I was only about 8 and got scared, forgot my shoes and went home to which I was caught and had to blag an excuse so as not to get in trouble.
Currently though sometimes I feel like I’m a woman, and that’s great. I was born a girl. I’ve been asked to be more feminine when I used to live in jeans and I’ve embraced that, I love my skirts and my dresses and my make up. That’s fine. 
But… Sometimes I don’t feel like any gender? I feel like my gender is a void. I don’t know if I’m a woman or a man though I know I’m definitely not a man… But I’m not a woman either?
Sometimes I’m fine being a her or a she but others it makes me feel gross and like it’s not who I am and I’d probably prefer to be a they/them?
So am I gender fluid between being female and agender?? Would I call myself agender presenting feminine? Gender fluid?? Non binary??? 
I’m so confused as to what I am. I’m fortunate enough to have a supportive husband who is happy for me to express my gender with my clothes however I want to now even though it’ll take time for him to adjust which I feel is natural. 
I’m sorry if this is confusing. Trust me I’m just as confused… Gender is super confusing! We're mostly taught that it's one thing and one thing only (I grew up in the 90s of that helps) and then you get to adulthood and whoa there's more than two genders? What is this?! Anyway, I think you could be genderfluid between agender and female. Have you looked into demigenders? Demigirl or Demi-agender might fit as well. If you're not a man and you're not a woman you're non-binary - finding the gender that is right for you however is a bit of a difficult thing for me to do. read lots of tags and lots of blogs and experiences and definitions and you might find yourself. Or just definitions.

[haveagaydayorg]

From the inbox

Q: My partner came out to me as trans (MtF) sometime ago. They are generally not out to other people. We've only talked about it a few times, but each time they seemed conflicted about whether or not they really want to transition. How can I support them without pressuring them to make a decision? They've asked for my advice in the past and I didn't know what to say or how to help them. A: They should see a therapist, specifically a gender therapist if at all possible. That will help them with their feeling conflicted about transitioning. While I'm sure you're great, you're probably not qualified to do much in way if advice. I am not either. Their doctor is as well as a therapist. They can join Facebook groups for trans women and trans people and that may help as well.

[haveagaydayorg]

“I have a question for you guys.  I’m familiar with demisexual/romantic, where you don’t have a sexual/romantic attraction until you have an emotional connection to someone.  Is there something that’s like the opposite?  Like if you don’t immediately/quickly have a sexual or romantic attraction, you pretty much never will”?

[haveagaydayorg]

What are aroflux and aceflux?

“Aroflux is a romantic orientation on the aromantic spectrum and is defined as: someone who's romantic orientation fluctuates, but always stays on the aro spectrum (ex. one day you're demiro, the next day lithro, the next day aro, etc)”Aceflux is the same thing but with the asexual spectum and sexual orientation. 

Sourcethe -flux suffix means fluctuate, the -fluid suffix means flows.  (genderfluid, genderflux) 

[haveagaydayorg]

From our facebook inbox

I dreamed of a dream I dreamed of a scene I dreamed of something that felt so serene... I dreamed of a you . I dreamed of a me . I dreamed of a us.. So real it all seemed... . But life isn't so.. And a dream is a dream and dream it will be.. . Unless you wake and begin . Some say its a phase . Some say it's a sin . Some say its damnation . Some say its like a ruin.. . . But LOVE is a chance,  you gotta give in . It's not like a game where u may lose or win . So I'm taking a risk, though chances seem thin.. . I'll never give up, cx I've already gave in . I wish you could see . I wish you could feel . That without you my LOVE, I'm suffocating . Without you no joy I can see . Without you I have no relief .  They say I'd be thrown . They say I'd be skinned . They say it's a disease and it can be healed.. . They say not to show it, to keep it concealed.. . Don't be yourself, your LOVE isn't real . Dont mess with nature, I may not heal . Don't mess with GOD.. He could be cruel . I can feel the thunderstorm . I can see the lightning . Fear cripples my body.. . But my spirit keeps fighting . I could be thrown . I could be skinned . I could be beaten . I could be killed . Yet I dream of a dream . I dream of a scene.. With you n me . I dream of a you . I dream of a me . I dream of a us . Someday it will be . I'll fight their GOD . I'll fight their Star . I'll fight the books they get from afar.. . For my GOD is my LOVE.. My LOVE it will be .  Only LOVE can create . Only in LOVE can you heal . I dream of a dream . I dream of a scene . I dream of a dream of you and me 

(posted anonymously)

[haveagaydayorg]

So I am a 15 year old girl and I think I might be a lesbian. I am out as bisexual right now. How do I know if I am bi or gay?

The difference between bi and gay is “simple”.  Are you sexually attracted to only one gender (in your case girls), or are you sexually attracted to multiple (girls, boys, nonbinaries, etc)?If you do not know - it is okay.  It is okay to not know your label.  I could use the “you are young” cliche, but it is true for older people as well - if you are 30, or 80 or 109, it is okay to not know who you are sexually attracted to.

[haveagaydayorg]

Question from our facebook inbox

“ So I have a question and I do not mean to be disrespectful by how I'm trying to phrase it, so I apologize if it's wrong and I would love clarification. I'm  writer, and in my world, there are Gods who are active in it, and so I try to make things run smoothly. 

There is a genderfluid goddess  who sort of looks after other genderfluids (once they realize they are, she gives them a stone that allows them to change physical gender, but this is not her main duty as a God), but I am not sure how to write about trans people, since I am cis. 

I sort of want it to  be a perfected world, where no one will feel disassociated with their body or identity. I've mistakenly used the phrase "given the wrong body" or "in the wrong body" and have been told that that's now how they feel. So putting everyone in their "right" bodies isn't quite how it works, so  I don't think that would be a solution.

 And also, I don't want to write off a whole social issue. Can you ask the trans people on your page how they suggest I go about it? It's a fantasy genre, so I dont think they have futuristic bodily design surgeries, but there is also magic “

Any advice for this author?

[haveagaydayorg]

saw your new post and really wanted to ask what is Invisibility, or can you send me to a page where is definition for it cause i tried to search about it and only got really weird pages come up to me

this post?

Invisibility is being invisible (I think that is understood).  What the post means, however, is like asexual people - we appear invisible.  Society doesn’t know much about us.  Aromantic people are also invisible.“Invisibility means you have to find out about your own identity from strangers in small, distant corners of the internet.” ^^ I was not aware agender, asexual, aromantic existed until i started working for have a gay day and started reading more about various LGBT+ identities online - mainly on tumblr.“Invisibility means the very nature of your identity is up for debate.”^^ People like to debate that ace, agender, trans, non-binary, aro, aro-spec, bisexual, pansexual, etc people even exist.