#hahahahahaha...

[conceptofjoy]

[sysid-ace]

🌂 we try to avoid letting internalized transmisogyny guide our actions too much and i like to think we're pretty successful about it (though i'm sure some naysayers who disagree with us about vocabulary are shaking their heads right now)

🌂 there's one... exception though.

🌂 also i can't even tell if we were always this kind of person, or if we only are as a result of the healing from that massive piece of damage to our psyche

🌂 ...i'm stalling, aren't I?

🌂 the one place where we let internalized transmisogyny guide our hands, where we fear, truly fear being labelled as a freak or fundamentally dishonest—a lie in human skin or as a lust-besotted monster is...

🌂 we love our friends so so so so so much...

🌂 it's a different thing from romantic love, but not by much, the difference is more just shifting how we relate to the same feeling, where it slots into our head

🌂 and

🌂 outside of a handful of contexts, sexually loaded contexts of course (even though we're not an especially sexual existence, though certainly depraved in what of it we do feel), as it's a safer topic when everyone expects to be making passes at everyone, and also when huddled up against our sweetheart in bed, there, where only she'll hear, in those two sole sanctuaries

🌂 i can talk about how lovely, lovable and loved my friends are

🌂 but...

🌂 a low chuckle

🌂 nowhere else, y'know?

🌂 might scare them off, images filling my head, and honestly taking me breaching the topic as me wanting to "upgrade" would be a perfectly reasonable conclusion for them to jump to even as that isn't what I want at all.........

🌂 it's rough.

🌂 took a lot to post this one on my blog (even as nonspecific as it is here...), and lemme prove it to you:

🌂 how long ago this one was penned is in the tags.

[sonder-paradise]

thinking about the quotev and wattpad years and shivering

[damnitsolas]

*currently playing 7 playthroughs of Origins, 4 of DA2, and 8 of Inquisition at the same time*  Yeah, totally not insane.

[coffee-splatters]

someone throw me off a building

[moley-face]

ok I’m just gonna like, write a sticky note on my forhead to get some goddamn velcro for Ackley, once it’s daytime and won’t be waking everyone up.

Because I want to cuddle him but his wig keeps falling off.

..Tons of other dolly shit I need to take care of too.

bleh.

*falls over*

[theinsecurebari]

*reblogs everything because I don’t have my own stuff and I’m a piece of trash*

[howelljenkinss]

/has already cried at least four times this morning /ignores mom completely and still ends up crying in the car this is fine.