#halfbeloved

[bluexbutterflies-blog]

      "....What you're spending the night?"

[halfloveless]

*does weird things to Soubi because traumatized muse*

[halfloveless]

halfbeloved

    The bed beneath him is soft, the sheets sweet smelling and gentle where he's pressed his face against it. His small, thin limbs are spread out from where he lays on his stomach and he's clutching the case of a large, fluffy pillow to his side.

    The conditions for his sleep are so optimal they're suspicious.

    Yet each tick of the small clock by which he times the moments of his life heralds another passing second without sleep.

    He's been lying here listening to those ticks for three hours.

    Beside him his phone rests silent and damning, not even the faint glow of the screen offering him comfort as his inbox remains crushingly empty.

    His fingers linger close to the keys, ready to snatch it up at a moment's notice should it flicker or buzz at him. 

    It doesn't.

    Sighing lightly, Ritsuka turns onto his back, dragging the pillow with him to rest it atop his stomach and hug it to his tiny chest.

    It's this movement that has him catch the glimpse of a dark figure silhouetted against the dim glow of the city outside his window.

    Violet eyes blink once, twice, unsure if what he's seeing is reality or mirage.

    He stays quiet, not even breathing, as he waits for something - or nothing - to happen.

[halfloveless]

On S C A R S

    When he realizes that the letters - carved deep and cruel into Soubi's neck - hold more sway over the Fighter than he could have ever comprehended, he decides he has to fix it.

    He starts researching, looking into ways to remove or reduce scaring and they all seem so painful - so extreme - that he baulks at the idea. 

In the end, he decides that whatever gets rid of the B E L O V E D on Soubi's neck, he wants to do it himself.

    So he saves money, selling pictures anonymously on the internet and doing menial jobs at school until he has enough to act.

    Ritsuka makes his way to a pharmacy in the early afternoon of a Saturday and buys all sorts of creams to help reduce scaring.

    Over a period of months and months he tests them, each one, on the myriad of scars he has collected from his mother and catalogues each scar and which cream is used on it until he finds out which one works the best.

    The next day he calls Soubi over and he explains to him that he's going to erase Seimei's touch from him. And every single day Ritsuka gets a bit of the cream and rubs it onto Soubi's neck. Soubi just lets him, being indulgent because he doesn't believe such a thing is possible, but every day he lets him still.

    One day, after two weeks of this pattern, he looks in the mirror before putting his stark white bandages on and he sees that the B E L O V E D has faded a bit.

    And every day Ritsuka keeps putting it on him and every day Soubi feels less and less like he belongs to Seimei - like Seimei is a huge, looming presence with his hand tight around Soubi's neck that he feels a little less is choking him - and every day he feels the soft touch of Ritsuka's hand putting the cool cream on his neck a little more.