Part Beloved ;; Half Loveless

;; If you come near me... someone might burn you to death in my chair, too ;; Aoyagi Ritsuka L O V E L E S S Let's go make some m e m o r i e s! indie loveless rp for aoyagi ritsuka

[halfbeloved]

Soubi watched the boy, his eyes taking on a curious look before he heard the declaration from him. Did he think he could..? Soubi couldn’t help but smile at the thought, even though he wasn’t sure if it was possible. So much had been done after all… and even if it was wiped from his body physically could he really say that they were gone from his heart..? 

The fighter hummed, closing his eyes for a moment before they opened again. “Well… I wish you the best of luck then Ritsuka.” He thought the boy would need it. After all… this scar likely wasn’t just any ordinary scar. This one wouldn’t go away with time like some of Ritsuka’s scars.

"Thank you… Ritsuka." He felt the need to thank the other at this point. Just the fact that Ritsuka cared enough for him still to want to attempt something like this… he thought he’d lost the boy after all. This proved that he hadn’t quite lost him yet.  Perhaps there was still a chance to fix things with the sacrifice. 

[halfloveless]

Ritsuka nodded, very solemn, at Soubi's bid that he be lucky. He was sure he would need it. The scars looked as if they ran deep - they had the jagged, dented appearance of - Ritsuka swallowed, ears going flat and tail drooping behind him - the dented appearance of something that had been carved deeper and deer over and over until it the carver was satisfied.

"Don't thank me yet, Soubi," Ritsuka cautioned, and his voice came out barely a whisper. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Thank me when I succeed."

BANG!

              "Ritsuka?!"

The sound startled Ritsuka into releasing Soubi's hand, his body scrambling backwards until his calves hit his bed. Turning, reluctantly, he looked at his door where the sound of thudding footsteps coming up the stairs came from. "Ritsuka, come downstairs! I made your favourite!"    

Ritsuka glanced at Soubi and frowned. "You have to go," he whispered, and his voice held an unusual urgency. "If she finds you in here -"

            "Ritsuka? Why aren't answering me?!"      

A loud pounding sounded on the door and his mother's voice became more shrill, less controlled. "What are you doing in there? RITSUKA?"

[halfbeloved]

Soubi blinked at that, his gaze softening as he looked at Ritsuka. “.. They don’t make you uncomfortable..?” He was sure they did. They’d made almost everyone else he spoke to uncomfortable, it was why he wore the bandages most times. 

It was then that he turned his gaze to Ritsuka’s hand that now clutched his for a moment, a slight look of surprise in his eyes that soon disappeared again. 

The question presented to him through Soubi for a loop. “Do I trust you..?” What an odd question to ask. He’d been sure from what had gone on so far that the question had been answered, but after thinking it through he supposed it wasn’t so obvious after all. “I do, yes.. with everything I am I trust you..” 

If the question and the fact that Ritsuka didn’t seem worried about just taking his hand like that hadn’t blown Soubi off of his normally calm sense of judgement.. the next moment did. That look in Ritsuka’s eyes, directed towards him for once… in a way that was meant to be positive and not getting something from him for once. He didn’t think he’d ever seen such a look in anyone’s eyes before, especially not Ritsuka’s. 

Soubi was completely dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to do, or to think. What could he do or think..? Soon afterwards Ritsuka’s fingers were yet again against the scars, and it was only then that it was revealed what was going on in the boy’s head. When he heard what had given Ritsuka such a look however, instead of removing the surprise it just made him even more stunned then before. 

"… Ritsuka…" He whispered then, his voice holding his surprise. "… I.. don’t know if it’s possible.." He managed to say, however soon afterwards he bowed his head slightly. ".. but.. I will not fight against your attempts… I wish you luck.." If it was what Ritsuka really wanted to do… who was he to even attempt to stop him..?

[halfloveless]

He could see the shock on Soubi's face at his words and, could he see his own visage, he would see that his face mirrored Soubi's surprise. 

Had he truly just declared that out loud? Was he really going to try and do this?

Glancing down at his hand, he looked a thin, almost imperceptible strip of white skin there and felt his conviction grow. That scar was less than a year old and already it blended in so well with his flesh that the jagged, lumpy glass cut it had been before was hardly more than a painful memory.

Nodding suddenly, he spoke. "Yes, it's possible. And I'm going to do it. Soubi, I'm going to wipe every trace of what Seimei did to you from your body."

It was a childish deceleration, one born of a fundamental misunderstanding about the extent of the harm his brother had done to the fighter. But still, in his innocence, he was determined to accomplish this thing for his friend. For his Soubi.

[halfbeloved]

Soubi had heard the sound as well, tensing ever so slightly as his eyes glanced over toward the door. He was ready to move should it turn out to be his sacrifice’s mother. He had no idea what was going on in Ritsuka’s head, but he knew he’d always think of Ritsuka as his sacrifice now.. even with the events with Seimei. 

"Well, you certainly seem more honest with me then others." He allowed, not pushing for the fact that he knew Ritsuka would fight it if he did. He didn’t wish for the fight between them any longer, he never had wished for the fight between them honestly. 

Deep in his thoughts, and temporarily forgetting that the bandages weren’t currently there, he jumped slightly when he felt Ritsuka’s fingers against the scars along his neck. 

His heart sank a bit at the question. Did he wants them..? The cuts had been there so long at this point, it was a weird thought to not have them there. Yet… Did he honestly want them..?

"…. They are the only thing that truly binds me to Seimei…" He finally said, his words calm, slow as he thought his answer through. "… The only thing… that binds me to a man that… no longer has a need for my presence.." His eyes closed then, thinking of the fact that any time he went into battle with Ritsuka, he felt relieved… but the scar across his neck always burned fiercely.. as if trying to guilt him for his disloyalty. 

His mind was made up then as his eyes opened slightly. “… I have no need or desire for something that only brings pain where there should be none. In the end, it doesn’t matter however. Such a scar, having been there so long… there is likely no chance it will fade. Does it upset you Ritsuka..? I could cover it up again… better then before…” 

[halfloveless]

    Ritsuka listened intently to every word Soubi said, and each one that took him closer to the answer he sought fell on his ears like a benediction. His fingers pulled away and he let his hand rest by his side, looking at Soubi with every inch of the determination he felt, he shook his head.

    "No. I don't want you to hide things from me, Soubi, not ever. But if you don't want them to be seen, then I want you to wrap them back up." 

    Hesitantly, he reached over and lightly gripped one of Soubi's hands, holding it in his own as he glanced back down at the scars. "Do you trust me, Soubi? Because there's something -" he cut off, and his ears laid flat to his skull for a moment. 

    The gravity of what he was about to say weight heavily on his small shoulders, dragging him into doubt and fear. He could do so much damage with these words, not just to Soubi to but himself. And to Seimei.

    It was that last thought that solidified his resolution.

    "There's something I want to do for you. Soubi..." he looked up at the Fighter and his eyes were heard with his conviction. "I'm going to get rid of these." The hand that wasn't gripping Soubi's moved up and he touched lightly at the scars.

[halfbeloved]

Soubi listened in silence, considering the words spoken. He could understand why Ritsuka would have originally gotten close to him to be close to Seimei again. At the time.. Soubi probably would have done the same had he been in Ritsuka’s position. 

He watched Ritsuka move to the bed, silent and in thought the entire time, and his heart gave a thud so loud he was sure that Ritsuka must have heard it from where he sat even though he knew that wasn’t possible. 

A small smile lit up his face then as he gazed at Ritsuka from where he was still kneeling a bit. “Of course that’s okay Ritsuka, and not because you’re my sacrifice before you suggest that.” He placed a hand over his own heart then, speaking calmly. “It’s okay… because you’re being honest with me… and of course you’d wish to be close to me for that reason at first… we hardly knew one another then.” 

[halfloveless]

    Nodding, Ritsuka hugged the pillow closer and rested his chin on it. His ears flicked slightly at a sound from the door behind them but it turned out to be little more than the wind blowing his coat along it and soon his attention was focused solely on Soubi again.

    It was difficult not to return the smile Soubi aimed at him, so he settled for a scowl instead, pink cheeks lightened but still present. "I'm always honest with you," he mumbled, though he was certain it wasn't true. He was honest about a lot, but not everything. Not their friendship, for one, nor how... How Soubi brought out things in Ritsuka no one else had ever managed. 

   As he looked at the Fighter - not really his Fighter anymore, and that wasn't something liked to dwell on - Ritsuka's eyes fell to the still exposed scars on Soubi's neck and chest. Silently, he rose to his feet and tossed the pillow aside, walking forwards to touch them again.

    This time, however, it was a study, not a lament, that had him feeling along the ridges. An idea has struck him - a wild one, that might not even work - but an idea nonetheless. 

    Before he began, however, he needed to know. Know if it was even worth pursuing. 

   "Soubi? Do you... want these?" he asked, and his voice was hesitant, scared of what answer he might receive. As he asked, his forefinger brushed over the 'B' of Beloved, certainly the most deep of the... it was still hard to think of them as such... cuts.

[halfbeloved]

Soubi felt his heart soften a bit at Ritsuka’s words, carefully just holding the boy there now as he listened to Ritsuka as intently as the boy had done previously. 

"I don’t believe I know many… if any at all that would wish to go through something like that Ritsuka… however it is a sacrifice I’m willing to make again if it would mean getting closer to you…" 

His smile seemed to almost widen a bit at the thought of the memories, both the ones that Ritsuka referred to when he spoke of his photos, and the ones in his heart of the boy that weren’t kept for everyone to see. He didn’t need the photos as a reminder, for he knew that they would always be there, and that’s what mattered. 

However, when Ritsuka next spoke in that mocking, bitter tone, it caught Soubi off guard just a bit. He blinked slightly before unable to stop from chuckling. “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery you know Ritsuka.” He answered, his head tilting to the side slightly. However, the question was one that he wasn’t sure how to phrase. It hadn’t quite been love at first sight or anything like that. He could have said that at least part of it was Seimei’s doing… but that didn’t quite seem right. 

How could he explain it in a way that Ritsuka could understand, when he himself couldn’t quite understand..? “It’s just a feeling. Since I set eyes on you…. something just.. clicked. ” He didn’t understand currently but he supposed that explanation might do for now. 

[halfloveless]

    Carefully, he extracted himself from Soubi's lap and crossed to his bed, sitting down and pulling a pillow into his lap to cover the loss of warmth from Soubi's body. 

    Ritsuka was quiet for a long moment, clearly lost in thought, but when he spoke his words were weighed down with the conviction with which they were felt. "I guess... I guess I understand that. I felt something similar, but I thought it was just because you were... you were Seimei's friend."

    He blushed with shame at that.

    "I think I wanted to get close to you to feel close to him again. And it was like that for... for a long time. But now." His small hands gripped one another in his lap and he frowned, deep. "Now I don't like thinking about you and Seimei in the same thought. Now -" the blush that was born of shame deepened, turned into something else, "Now I like to think that you're more mine. My friend more than his."

    Ritsuka glanced up, nervous. "Is that okay?"

[halfloveless]

The feel of Soubi holding him, the clean scent of his shirt and hair, the warmth from his body all served to soothe the boy’s frazzled nerves. Slowly, so slowly, he pulled back enough to look Soubi in the eyes and shook his head. “But I am. I am sorry. That it happened, that it was… it was Seimei who-“

The fury was trying to return and yet it was tempered by a sudden, gentle kiss to his cheek. Ritsuka twisted his head, blushing bright red and closing his eyes tightly. 

His cheek was much less wet and much more warm as Soubi pulled away and he caught sight of his tears glistening on Soubi’s lips. It was mesmerizing. He watched those lips form words and each one made his chest clench harder and harder in protest.

"It won’t. I can’t be okay - how can you say that after what you’ve been thr- after what he put you through?”

But the wrath couldn’t burn, couldn’t flame bright and free because it was tempered by the gentle pecking at his face. So sweet, so kind, so familiar, so -

“Soubi! Stop!” He whined in protest, annoyed enough to pull away slightly though he sank back into Soubi immediately. “Why do you do that?” He demanded suddenly, and it was born of curiosity more than anger. “When we fight, during battles… why?”

[halfbeloved]

Soubi only smiled sweetly to Ritsuka as the younger pulled back to gaze at him. Seeing that he’d calmed more, the fighter allowed himself to be a bit calmer as well as he gazed at the boy in front of him. The fighter’s heart ached to see how hurt Ritsuka was, however at hearing Ritsuka’s first question, his eyes seemed to twinkle slightly. 

"How can I say that it’ll be okay after what I’ve been through..? I honestly don’t regret a moment of my life Ritsuka… it may have hurt at times…. but I got to meet you. The few memories I have that are happy… are more then enough to make up for any of the painful ones. Any moment I spend with you… that’s enough to give me a reason to move forward." For once, the smile on his face was a normal one, he wasn’t just using flowery words to calm Ritsuka, but speaking the truth. 

He continued to try and just be there, to calm Ritsuka. It may have been because of him that Ritsuka was upset.. but all this was stuff that he’d gotten over.. or at least accepted a while ago. Ritsuka was far more important. 

Soubi blinked, watching curiously as Ritsuka pulled away before sinking back into him almost immediately afterwards. He hummed, thinking about Ritsuka’s question for a moment. ‘Why..? I love you Ritsuka.” He just smiled for a moment before he decided that for once, he’d give a little more information to go with it. “It keeps the anger from your face and thoughts as well.” It also helped him to concentrate on the battle instead of worrying about Ritsuka, but he wasn’t going to admit that out loud quite yet. 

[halfloveless]

    Ritsuka listened, carefully, to every word that fell from Soubi's lips. He did his best to take them into consideration, to look for, and find, the truth in them rather than rejecting Soubi's emotional reality in lieu of his own.

    At length, he nodded. It was a careful action, slow and deliberately placed on a subconscious level to accurately illustrate his trepidation on the matter. 

    When he spoke, it was with pink cheeks but a fierce determination that shined through his violet eyes and hardened his baby-soft face. "I don't like what happened to you. It's terrible, and I would never want you to go through it. Ever. But..." He chewed on his bottom lip and his gaze dropped to their laps where he studied the wrinkles in their clothing with consternation. "I... I'm glad that we got to meet. Even though it's brought me pain, too, it's brought me a lot of happiness. The memories we made together -" his eyes flickered up to meet Soubi's then back down immediately "they've been some of my favourites."

    With Soubi's next words, the consternation fled his face in lieu of petulant annoyance, despite the ruddy blush on his cheeks. "I love you, I love you, I love you, Ritsuka," he mimicked, bitter. "You've been saying that since you met me! How can you love me since then?"

[usagisohma]

O P E N

[umadoshi]

She blinked, more than just a couple of times, her hands loosening around the spool of the kite as she heard the words the hyperactive little rabbit said to her. I trust you. How well did Momiji know her? She couldn’t help but wonder, but as she was about to disagree, she noticed the kite was flying farther out and her grasp on the string had loosened. “Oh shi—-“ Isuzu reached out, grabbing it before it got out of control, as a nervous laugh echoed around her and she turned dark eyes on Momiji again. “You were saying?” She almost couldn’t help the laugh, she couldn’t remember the last time she did laugh. It seemed forever, probably when she was with Haru.

[halfloveless]

Miji's eyes followed the kite, large brown orbs tracking the bright spot of colour as it skated along wind currents every few seconds, tugging itself forwards with no regard to those that held it to earth.

Turning, he gave Isuzu a smile. "Wow, you're really good at that R-" he cut off, watching as her hands loosened on the spool for a moment before reaching out and grabbing it again with a short, half-aborted curse. He began clapping and cheering immediately. "Woah, that was so cool! Can you do it again?"

[halfbeloved]

Soubi just allowed the boy to cry in his arms. He didn’t even care that his shirt was soaked in tears or anything else for that matter. He was just worried for Ritsuka. He felt that he needed Ritsuka to be okay.. even after all this. 

His heart went out to Ritsuka.. ached for and with him. Soubi so desperately wished that it was different so Ritsuka didn’t have to feel such pain. He shook his head, giving Ritsuka a small smile when the boy started to apologize. “You don’t need to be sorry Ritsuka. You couldn’t control something like that.” After all… Ritsuka would have been maybe 7 at the time… how could he have even considered trying to stop his brother..? It would have been difficult to say the least if not impossible. 

Ritsuka’s next words had surprised him again however, and unable to help it Soubi leaned in and kissed his cheek gently, kissing away some of the tears. “… Ritsuka..” However, that’s where it stopped. For the first time in a long while, Soubi was at a loss for words. Ritsuka shouldn’t hate his brother just because of something that happened to him. He couldn’t help but feel touched though, touched that Ritsuka would care so much about him that that would be such a natural reaction to what had happened. 

"… Ritsuka.. everything is alright now. What’s done is done… and I wouldn’t have changed my past for anything… I don’t regret going through that… not at all." He whispered as he kissed him now and then on the cheek. 

[halfloveless]

The feel of Soubi holding him, the clean scent of his shirt and hair, the warmth from his body all served to soothe the boy's frazzled nerves. Slowly, so slowly, he pulled back enough to look Soubi in the eyes and shook his head. "But I am. I am sorry. That it happened, that it was... it was Seimei who-"

The fury was trying to return and yet it was tempered by a sudden, gentle kiss to his cheek. Ritsuka twisted his head, blushing bright red and closing his eyes tightly. 

His cheek was much less wet and much more warm as Soubi pulled away and he caught sight of his tears glistening on Soubi's lips. It was mesmerizing. He watched those lips form words and each one made his chest clench harder and harder in protest.

"It won't. I can't be okay - how can you say that after what you've been thr- after what he put you through?"

But the wrath couldn't burn, couldn't flame bright and free because it was tempered by the gentle pecking at his face. So sweet, so kind, so familiar, so -

"Soubi! Stop!" He whined in protest, annoyed enough to pull away slightly though he sank back into Soubi immediately. "Why do you do that?" He demanded suddenly, and it was born of curiosity more than anger. "When we fight, during battles... why?"

[halfbeloved]

Soubi watched the expressions on Ritsuka’s face. his heart went out to him, and he hated that even if it was inadvertently he was the one to cause those reactions in the violet eyed boy in front of him. He allowed the other to run his fingers across the scar as much as he wanted, listening to the sounds around them as he did and watching Ritsuka’s reactions. 

Seeing him go from looking like might be sick, to about ready to be sick was a horrifying thing for Soubi.. and the fighter swallowed hard as he found his mind wondering what thoughts the other could be having that would cause such a reaction. 

Soubi heard the question, and the answer immediately came to mind. However… Soubi could just see how bad of a reaction it would cause. With how panicky Ritsuka already seemed… Soubi was against answering this question. He knew, however, that if he didn’t answer willingly at this point Ritsuka was likely to just order that he answer. The response to this was automatic as he pulled Ritsuka in close to hold him tight against him. 

His hand ran through Ritsuka’s hair a bit before he sighed. “… I don’t remember the exact age…. but… I was about 16..” He finally answered, making sure to hold Ritsuka close to him. He just hoped that this would be enough. He needed to be sure that Ritsuka wasn’t going to panic too badly. He didn’t wish to see that from Ritsuka…. not ever. 

[halfloveless]

The moment he was in Soubi's arms he stiffened for the briefest moment then slumped, chest heaving and boneless, against his body. He wasn't sure when he'd started crying but the tears were coming in earnest now. Hot streaks of salty water dripped silently down his nose and cheeks, pooling in Soubi's shirt. He didn't make a single sound until he spoke some minutes later.

"I'm sorry, Soubi," he whispered. It came out a sniffle. "I'm so sorry." 

Something was building in his chest, some heady experience he hadn't felt before. It spread like wildfire through his body and it wasn't until they began aching that Ritsuka realized he's clenched his fists into Soubi's shirt and was balling them so tightly they shook.

"I hate him," he declared suddenly, and it was venomous. "I hate him for doing that. I hate him."

Something burst within his chest and shoved the air from his lungs at the announcement, the last exhale of a long broken piece of childhood - the only one that remained. Whoever he was now, he was not who he was when he loved his brother. He was something new, something harder and more independent. Something wrathful.

[halfbeloved]

Soubi sat completely still as Ritsuka removed the bandages from his neck, his eyes closing as he felt the fingers trace along the letters of the name that he knew were there. The memory of receiving them was still fresh, but now it was blending a bit with the feel of Ritsuka’s gentle touch against them. 

The touch against the flesh was rather relaxing at this point, his eyes only opening when he felt Ritsuka pull his fingers away sharply as if they’d been burned or something. Soubi’s eyes took in Ritsuka’s expression, observed to catch every detail so that he could hopefully better understand what thoughts were going through the young boy’s head. 

Seeing how hesitant Ritsuka’s hand was, Soubi made sure to stay stock still. He didn’t wish to scare the other off from touching the letters carved there if he wanted to. Upon hearing Ritsuka’s first question, a look of slight surprise that he’d figured it out so quickly was there for just a moment before it disappeared again. 

A grunt was Ritsuka’s response, a positive grunt to confirm the boy’s suspicions about the words being cut into his neck by someone. He could see the disgust that was in Ritsuka’s eyes. The second question… Soubi couldn’t bring himself to confirm even if he knew Ritsuka most likely already knew the answer. 

He couldn’t bring himself to possibly shatter the boy more then he already had… however at the same time, he couldn’t lie. He also knew that his silence likely spoke volumes about the situation. 

[halfloveless]

Heart pounding, Ritsuka waited for the response Soubi gave him, and upon receiving it felt as if he would be ill. Dread sat low and thick in Ritsuka's stomach, aching and persistent in is presence. He drew his fingertips across the letters again, this time imagining someone cutting, carving the letters one by one into the pale, perfect flesh beneath the ragged scars.

Violet eyes flicked up to meet Soubi's as the silence between the first answer to his questions and the second stretched on and on. In those eyes he found his answer.

He no longer felt sick, he was going to be sick because that hand carving the words into Soubi's neck had turned into Seimei's hand and his head was swimming so much that he could see the fat droplets of blood dripping from Soubi's form in front of him even now and he could see the smile his brother wore, colder and more cruel and any that had ever been aimed at him -

Ritsuka's stomach lurched wildly.

"How old were you?" The words were choked and harsh and it was him now, Ritsuka beneath the mercy of Seimei's knife and his stomach was lurching and his head screaming a loud, silent noise that muffled his thoughts and made him panic and forget how to breathe - 

[halfbeloved]

Soubi watched, seeing Ritsuka’s internal struggle, he could almost always tell when the other was fighting an urge or an instinct. Just by looking at his face or in his eyes it was so easy to tell, at least for Soubi. It wasn’t long however until his words seemed to have confused the sacrifice in front of him enough that Ritsuka wasn’t even really bothering with the touch any longer. 

It was soon after he felt Ritsuka’s hands gently pulling at the bindings around his neck along with the statement proving he hadn’t understood though.. how could he have with how vague Soubi had been? Soubi understood the silent request and nodded, even shifting a bit in a way to half-way start the process of pulling the bindings free. 

One of his normal smiles appeared on his lips again. one of his smiles that gave the impression he was about to tell you a bedtime story instead of talking about something rather serious. “I’m sure it must be confusing right now for you Ritsuka.” He said simply as his thumb gently brushed against Ritsuka’s cheek. “… The name is there, not because it appeared, but because it was put there by another.” He was sure that he didn’t need to state by who’s hand or how, but he didn’t wish to say it anyway. So, he didn’t.

[halfloveless]

Soubi's permission came in the form of a small nod, and Rituka's hands deftly began pulling the bandages free. He had enough experience wrapping and unwrapping this very kind of bandage on himself that he didn't tear nor snag the fabric as he pulled it away. 

A thin finger traced the words as they appeared and his lips silently formed each letter of Beloved's name on Soubi's neck. It was jagged and bumpy and looked like it had been... 

Like it had been....

He jerked his hand back, suddenly terrified he'd hurt Soubi in touching them. Wide, violet eyes stared in horror at the markings, the dawning comprehension that came - not only from  his close inspection - but also from Soubi's words, however vague that they were.

"Soubi," he began, and his voice was strained, shaking. A hesitant hand reached back up and touched at the jagged lines of the letter L. "Did someone c-cut this into you?"

The idea made him feel sick. It repulsed him. Who could possibly do such a thing? Who would do something so monstrous?

It hit him in the face like a physical blow. His voice dropped to a ragged whisper and the words came out on a breathless exhale. "Did... Did Seimei -?" He couldn't finish the question. Didn't want to. 

[halfbeloved]

The fighter was silent for a moment as he watched Ritsuka’s movements, listened to his words. He couldn’t help it any longer, and felt the need for the truth of the matter to be out in the open as he leaned in a bit. His hand gently cupped Ritsuka’s cheek as a small smile allowed it’s way to his lips. 

"Ritsuka… you don’t understand. His name never showed up either." He stated simply. His hand moved to gently run through Ritsuka’s hair and along his furred ear, using the motion and touch to calm himself at least for the moment. 

The memory flooded back to him, causing the hand that was running through Ritsuka’s hair to stop and just stay still in one spot. Feeling the name be carved into his neck, the pain that had come with it even if he hadn’t cried out due to his training, the looks he’d gotten. Everything was burned into his mind just as badly as the name carved into his neck. 

His hands shifted again, both this time resting on Ritsuka’s cheeks. “Ritsuka… no name belongs on me… Not even Seimei’s.” No name would ever appear on him naturally, at least.. not according to what he’d been told. He couldn’t even recall if his situation had happened before with another. Honestly, he didn’t even know how one would actually know the situation but he had never questioned the knowledge that had been given to him, and he wasn’t going to now.

[halfloveless]

It was a fight not to pull away from the touch to his face, to reject the impulse to childishly refuse contact with Soubi and stomp around and make a mess of things. But he held off. He held off and waited with baited hope that perhaps there was something, anything, that Soubi could say to make the reality of this situation - their situation - go away.

And somehow, he did.

Soubi didn't disappoint. Ever.

Blinking, Ritsuka soon forgot the touch to his cheek and high brows slowly sinking down into a furrow. "I don't understand," he said. A small hand came up to pull gently at Soubi's bindings around his neck - not pulling them free but asking for permission to. "It's here, isn't it? He spelled out the words, eyes fixed on the stark white wrapping.

"B-E-L-O-V-E-D. Right? Why is it there if it didn't show up?"

[halfbeloved]

I’ve seen a couple of these redraws done before and thought I’d try my hand at it. It took a lot longer then I was expecting but I have to admit I’m actually rather happy with the result. A gift for my own beloved Ritsuka. Please don’t use this without permission. Please don’t repost this to other sites without my permission. 

[halfbeloved]

Soubi again felt that ache in his heart at the words he’d expected from Ritsuka. He’d expected to hear these words to the point of having already begun trying to think of what to say in response even when they were unspoken. 

There in however lied the problem. Seimei. Deep down, he hated it and yet couldn’t completely hate it. He didn’t understand his own emotions, and if he couldn’t understand his own how could he even pretend to understand Ritsuka’s? He knew this but at least part of it seemed to be his past, and feeling the ache on his neck he began to realize where it all stemmed. 

The name. Carved into his neck as it was it may as well have been a shock collar of sorts. His hand immediately moved to the name, his fingers running over the scar that he knew was there even though he couldn’t see or feel it through the bandages that hid the letters from the world. 

He found himself growing bitter rather suddenly, but as usual managed to hide it fairly well. In his silence, his thoughts roamed for a moment, not realizing that he had left the silence in the first place. If Ritsuka had found him first, if he hadn’t been so accepting of the first Sacrifice to decide to claim him, if he hadn’t been so willing to ‘find a master’ at that stage… perhaps all this would have been different. Perhaps in many different ways. 

It was then that he seemed to finally come to the conclusion that Ritsuka both expected and needed an answer. “…. A name is a powerful thing, Ritsuka… Especially one that is shared. It creates a link…. something so powerful that it can possibly never be broken.” Perhaps even more so with a Fighter and Sacrifice he thought, but he left that unsaid. He was sure that as smart as he was, Ritsuka would come to the conclusion whether it was said or not. His tone, for once, held his remorse as he spoke his next words. “… I’m sorry..” He didn’t reach for Ritsuka as he wished to, didn’t move to take his hand or pull him close as his heart desired. Instead, he just stayed in the position that he was in, seeming to wait for some unknown sign that would be known to the both of them the moment it appeared to even feel he was allowed to shift. 

[halfloveless]

The silence between the was weighed down with every unanswered question Ritsuka hadn't managed to get out, and it stank of the betrayal he felt at Soubi's forced separation.

It was hard to be angry with his brother - even after all this time the impulse to hero-worship was almost overwhelming. So all of that bitter, harsh anger, that stinging helplessness, boiled over and spilled on top of Soubi. It tainted him with its stain, making every moment that Ritsuka looked at him a fight to maintain some semblance of calm and rationality.

He waited and he waited for Soubi to speak and when he did his eyes tracked the touch to the bandages around Soubi's neck and he felt sick. Sick and powerless.

"I can't do anything about that," he whispered, and it was a rough, angry sound. "My name never showed up on you, even though you were my fighter. Seimei's did." His heart broke, quiet and crystalline in the cool night air that drifted in through the window.

"His name belongs on you, not mine. Or it would have showed up."

Silently, slowly, he pulled back until he was no longer in close proximity to Soubi. Small back resting against the bed, he let his eyes fall closed and took in a long, slow breath. "You don't have to apologize, Soubi." The words were weary - tired - aged. "It isn't your fault. You two were meant to be."

[halfloveless]

o p e n

[halfloveless]

      “It’s nothing,” Ritsuka mumbled, flexing the blood coated fingers gently to watch the dark rivulets reflect light back at him. “I fell onto a piece of glass on my way back from school.” 

    Loud and sharp in his ears he heard the shattering of a vase as it crashed into his arms, coupling nicely with the sounds of his mother’s distressed cries for her son - her real son, Ritsuka.

[iniquitousideals]

The gesture was appreciated, yet Mithos had to wonder if the boy knew what he was saying, if he was truly up to such a task. For all they knew, it was impossible to locate those lands of which were familiar to him. They had at least had some hope, as he had somehow reached this place, but one could not depend on that solely. It was not enough for certainty, for security.  

When asked for the specifics of his current state, the half-elf would begin by simply nodding his head in assurance. He was alright, though he was indeed concerned, for he had no knowledge of whether this land was more or less accepting  –  whether or not he could rest his mind here. 

” If you insist.  I’m lost, as I told you before; I don’t recognize this place, or even the city name of “Tokyo”. I sense that will be a problem.”    

[halfloveless]

Momiji watched carefully for any visible signs of distress from his new acquaintance, his caring nature compelling him to observe and intervene if necessary. 

"Wow," he marvelled after listening to what the boy said, eyes wide. "You must be a long way away from home if you don't even know about Tokyo... Where are you from? And what's your name? I'm Momiji!" He stuck out his hand, babbling coming to an end and the ever-present grin that defined his personality blooming across his cheeks.

[i-am-deadpool]

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