“Season 1 Episode 1 of The Real Housewives of Silvermoon City
The Countess Ashleigh Vancleave meets Lady Jizelle Eveningdawn at a tavern in the city to discuss her new business venture with House Vancleave.
Ashleigh : She plopped down into the velvet cushioned seat. She groaned, “Eugh, I finally made it sorry for the delay. Paparazzi have been following me all over town, but what else is new?”
Jizelle: moaned, “Mmmhmm doll, they’re just all clamoring to know what you’re going to do next in this town.”
Ashleigh: “So Jizelle what have you been up to lately, I haven’t seen you in a few days.”
Jizelle: “Oh, I just got back from my week get-away deep cleanse spa treatment with the hubby.”
Ashleigh: She began to shiver from withdrawal most likely before shouting at the bartender nearby. “Turn the heat up, it’s cold as hell in here and outside. Someone must be plowing mother nature in the ass tonight!” She saw two strangers sit down at the table with Jizelle and herself, rolling her eyes.
Jizelle: She snapped at the two, “Ugh this table is reserved, it’s obviously not a family-style restaurant you heathens.” Jizelle turned to Ashleigh and gloated, “I feel absolutely rejuvenated. Sometimes I wonder if we’re the disease and nature needs to cleanse us, well not me.. er.. us.. of course, I mean the poors.”
Strange Man : It looks like a public table to me.
Jizelle: She screams, slamming her hands on the table, “You can’t sit with us!”
Strange Man leaves the scene
Jizelle: “Ugh why do those from the row come in here, they stink this place up.”
Ashleigh: “Ugh thank belore he’s gone.” She turns her attention towards Jizelle, “So did you get the new products to test that House Vancleave is about to launch?”
Jizelle: “No I don’t believe I did.”
Ashleigh: “Well our courier delivered a shipment of espresso enemas to your estate from our new line, they’re infused with certified free-trade and organic shalassian coffee beans, and mana-dust. We branded them as Espresso-Shots, hopefully these could help out the denizens of the row that like to shoot constantly, with these being holistic it would fare much better for their health, so in essence it kinda is charity work right, but did you try them Jizelle?”
Jizelle: “Oh no, I don’t do enemas they make you fat.”
Ashleigh: She rolled her eyes, “No they don’t! They literally cleanse your colon and do the opposite of making you fat, trogg for brains.”
Jizelle: “Well when I did them, they made me gain two pounds.”
Ashleigh: “I don’t see how?”
Jizelle: “Well you didn’t see your husband leaving you either did you?” She jabbed, as she swirled her wine in one hand before sipping it.
Ashleigh: Ash scoffed, “Well I’m glad you’re drinking again.” Ashleigh noticed the bong on the table and lit it up before taking a hit of bloodthistle, and then immediately rolled a small joint with the loose leaf and wrappers on the table before lighting it up, and sticking it in her mouth.
Jizelle: She shouted, “Well someone has to! This city is lacking class, and I intend to bring it back.”
Ashleigh: Puffed on her joint and smiled, “Well I think I... We, more than compensate for everyone else in this city, but it is lacking class. I remember about twenty years ago when the fashion laws were enforced in this city and people would get vaporized in the streets by the arcane servitors, if those committing the fashion crimes received enough complaints. We need to bring that back!”
Jizelle: “Hmm yeah, it’s a shame Arthas didn’t kill all the poor in this city and just left the nobility alive.”
Ashleigh: “I totally agree with you, yes it was tragic but thankfully I was away from everything in my estate in the mountains. I wish people in this city would stop being poor, because it’s literally so easy to get rich atleast it was for me. Everyone here is just lazy.”
Jizelle: “Mmmm yes, thankfully my husband chose to be rich so it all worked out for us.”
Ashleigh: She tipped her joint against Jizelle’s wine glass, and shouted loud enough so everyone in the tavern could hear her. “Cheers to that!”