synopsis: Cooking with your brothers doesn't turn out well.
Jay had never been the best cook in the world, but he did his best. When you moved in with him he would make your lunch, PB&J's or leftover Pizza. Will would always jokingly tell Jay the two of you would get scurvy. He had all but ordered the two of you to clear your Sunday night so that he could come over and all of you could cook together. It was something your mother used to do, make Jay and Will cook with her on Sundays. After she passed, the tradition ended until today.
Will walked into Jay's apartment with two grocery bags and the biggest smug grin, "Ready for the best home cooked meal ever?"
Jay looked sceptical, "Not if you're the one cooking."
"Ha. Ha." Will retorted, pushing Jay out of the way playfully.
You laughed and pushed yourself up to sit on the counter, watching Jay and Will unload the grocery bags. Will put a box of pasta on the counter next to you as he continued to organize the other ingredients. You picked up the box, turning it over.
"Lasagne?"
Will hummed, "Good hearty food."
You nodded, "Only if you make it right. Last time you made pasta it was goop."
"That was one time," Will argued.
Jay frowned, "More like a couple times."
You and Jay laughed, watching Will act fake hurt by your bantering. The three of you got to work cooking, Jay was being his usual self and trying to boss Will around.
"What is this?" Will joked, "Hell's kitchen? I know how to cook."
"Yeah," Jay held his hands up at Will, "Says the one waving a knife around. Maybe you should leave the kitchen before you hurt someone."
Will scoffed, "I'm a doctor if I hurt anyone I'll fix them."
"Of course, Dr Halstead, we should have known." You joked, standing by the stove and watching over the Roux.
Will rolled his eyes, "Okay, okay."
You eventually got bored of stirring the cheese sauce, walking over to look at what Jay was doing. He was chopping up vegetables, they were wonky and poorly cut. Immediately you started teasing him about his terrible knife skills. The three of you finally put together the entire dish, topping it with cheese and sticking it in the oven. Jay and Will put you in charge of getting it out of the oven when it was ready. You all sat together and watched the game, you were not at all interested but you sat and watched anyway. After a while you got the nagging feeling you had forgotten something.
It wasn't until the smoke alarm started blaring that you realized what you forgot.
"Oh no," You mumbled to yourself, rushing towards the kitchen with Jay and Will following.
You opened the oven door to reveal the burnt lasagne, smoke starting to fill the room.
"Well," Jay said as Will turned off the oven and turned on the extractor fan, "At least we know the fire alarm's work."
You frowned, "I'm sorry, I forgot about it."
Will ruffled your hair, "It's cool, we could scrape the burnt bit off?" He tried to reason.
The three of you stared at the burnt dish.
"Or," Jay said, "We could order Pizza?"
Will tried to take off the burnt top layer with a knife, revealing the burnt pasta underneath. "Yeah, Pizza sounds good."
"Will? Will! Where is he? What's going on?" She demanded, stethoscope beating on her chest with each stride she took. The moment she'd stepped out of a nine hour surgery, she met the eyes of the disheartened nurse who had to tell her that her husband had been rushed to Chicago Med for emergency surgery because a building collapsed in on him.
Casey grabbed her around the waist before she could go running in, the other members of Firehouse 51 standing up the moment they'd heard her voice. She fought against Matt's hold, hating the way Will put sobering hands on her shoulders. She'd felt this stance in a similar hospital all those years ago, she'd done it to her own patient's family. She didn't like it, not one little bit.
"Listen to me," Will pleaded, "He's in surgery. He was hit by some falling debris that broke some ribs and some fragments are moving in the direction of his heart. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it's pretty bad but he's in with Connor and he is doing all that he can. But you cannot go in there, you can't be within a hundred feet of that OR because you will distract him and that isn't the right thing for anyone right now."
"But, I, you should - Will, why aren't you in there?" She demanded, breathing a bit heavy at the information he'd just thrown at her. She'd seen people die from those kinds of injuries, she'd seen them survive too. "I want you to be the one operating, I trust you more than anyone in the world." He couldn't say his heart didn't break, fusing together just a little with her full trust of him despite recent mistakes. This was Jay's wheel house, he always knew what to say that would keep her from flying into hysterics.
"He's your husband, that makes me his family too." She went limp, borderline unresponsive as her legs gave out. Casey held her up with ease, guiding her to the chair Chief Boden offered and lowering her into it. "Sis, you gotta calm down, okay? I know you're scared but-"
"Where is Jay?" She suddenly demanded, back to being full of life as her cheeks flushed and she glanced around the waiting room nervously. "Where is our brother? He wasn't called to the scene of the fire was he? It wasn't some joint case, right? Will, I want Jay, where is he?"
"Hey, he's on his way but you need to breathe or you're going to hyperventilate." He motioned to Natalie nearby to bring him an oxygen tank and have a sedative ready just in case. She would hate him for it but it was better than her spiraling, falling over and cracking her head wide open on the hospital floor. "Calm down, breathe in and out."
"Don't tell me to breathe Will! Where is Jay?" Her voice was shrill with panic, wanting nothing more than to know her family was okay and the comfort of the man who'd spent his entire life protecting her. "I can't breathe, oh my gosh, I can't breathe Will. Something's wrong, he's not okay. If he was okay he -."
"Where is she?" His voice made her inhale sharply, his form running into view from the corridor behind her and she whirled around to see him. "Sis, what's- oof!" She slammed into his chest, legs wobbly and head rushing from how quickly she'd stood up but he did nothing but share a look with Will. "Hey, I'm here. I got you."
"I thought you were - Jay," Her bottom lip trembled, knowing she was being irrational but her emotions were all over the place right know. "Jay." His name was like a whisper, her hands fisting his shirt as tears started to stream down her cheeks. "Jay."
"I know, I know. I have you, it's alright." He wished more than anything that he could steal this pain from her, protect her like he always had but her husband was laying cut open on an operating table. He couldn't do a single thing.
"I love him." He wiped away a tear track and she seemed startled by the movement, fingertips tracing her own cheek like she was surprised she was crying. She was the chief of neurosurgery. She had to be strong for her patients, staff, and in her personal life, she'd chosen to be that for all of them too. She didn't cry. It was a weakness she could not have in her profession.
"I know." She nodded, letting him settle her back into her chair. She gripped onto his hand when he tried to walk away, wanting to get details from Will but she wasn't letting either of them out of her sight. "We're just going to go find out how he's doing."
"Please. Don't leave me. I need to," She swallowed harshly, "it's stupid, I know, but I need to see that you're okay. I can't lose you too."
"Okay, okay. Sh.” Will soothed, settling beside her. She had been like this when they were younger, protecting them in her own way. Like if they walked away from her right now, they would wind up like Kelly and as much as they wanted to get an update for her, she needed them. Jay sat on her other side, pulling her to lean into him as Will gripped her hand.
"We got you, you're okay." It took twenty minutes for her to pass out. It took three hours for them to get any solid news - he was doing just fine, he would pull through. It took six more hours for her to be allowed to see him, to settle by his bedside as she finally released her brothers in lue of grabbing onto Kelly's hand.
"We're going to go get you some food and a change of clothes, check in with Boden and talk with Rhodes, okay?" Jay informed her, crouching down by her side as she gave him a panicked look.
"You'll be careful right? Call me when you get to the house?" He agreed, placing a kiss on her forehead as Will did the same. They were almost out the door when she spoke up again. "Thank you. For staying with me, for not thinking I'm insane."
"You're our little sister, we'd do anything for you."
"I love you boys."
"Love you more." They chimed, smiling at her as they slid out the door and let it shut softly behind them.
"Do you remember how scared we were when she started dating Kelly, when she was marrying him, that she wouldn't need us anymore?" Will questioned once they'd gotten in the car, both of them exhausted but knowing their sister needed them to be strong.
"I thought she'd completely grow out of needing us once she said I do like magic or something. I was petrified." Jay admitted, "Although I wished she didn't have to need us for something like this."
"She's scared of someone else dying on her, or leaving."
"Do you think it has to do with our jobs?"
"That and that shit dad used to tell her when he got too drunk, about how the only way to keep people safe was to keep them with you. Did you see how scared she was to let us walk away from her?" Will scoffed, "He did that to her. And now she's on the verge of a panic attack when you get rough cases, or I look like I'm about to pass out, or Kelly goes on a call."
"Then we help her."
"How?"
"The way dad didn't." Jay pulled into her driveway, parking the car before he pulled out his phone, typing the text to let her know they were okay. He looked up, showing her quick response of heart emojis as he spoke. "We love her."
--
okay i just gave the Halstead's a whole backstory but i kind of like it so i'm rolling with it despite this being really long and confusing. also, her not wanting them to leave is that involuntary, kind of irrational fear that when one person gets hurt you start worrying about others too and her not wanting them out of her sight as a way to ground her to reality, keep her sane just in case you were a little confused on that :)
So let me get this straight, Will was stuck in a fire and could’ve died, but Kim came to talk to Dylan and Will and not Jay???? In what world does Jay not use his lights and sirens and speed to the fire and push through firefighters and get held back yelling that he needs to get to Will??? Wtf!
Here’s my updated masterlist, including links to some imagines not posted here on tumblr
Halstead Sister! Imagines:
Undercover
In which something horrible happens to Y/N's best friend, Emma, so Y/N goes undercover to get her justice. She's under and everything's fine...until it's not fine at all.
Contract Killer
What if Hailey's story meeting Jay is a little different? And it's all because of one big bad decision and seeing Y/N.
Stupid Game
In which the football players like to play a sick game for homecoming and start to target Y/N...so Jordan Atwater convinces her to tell Jay.
Small
Derek Keyes is back...I don’t think I need to say any more.
Three Strikes
In which bad luck comes in threes.
Drunk Face
Y/N calls Kim and Adam for help when she gets drunk and gets sick...and begs them not to tell her brothers.
Overprotective
Five scenarios in which Jay and Will are just the right amount of protective--okay, sometimes a little overprotective--of their little sister throughout her life.
October
Just the Halstead siblings plus Hailey doing stereotypical fall things together and reminisce on their childhood.
Cut Off
Jay and Will become worried when their sister hasn’t contacted them in months. So, when Will goes home for Thanksgiving and finds out why, him and Jay do everything in their power to find her, bring her home safely, and help her recover.
Study Buddies
Jay’s studying for the sergeant’s exam and has no idea what he’s doing, so he enlists the help of his little sister.
To Family, Blood or Otherwise
Y/N Halstead runs a home for girls who have aged out of the foster system. But, when a new client comes in near Thanksgiving, she tells Y/N something and Y/N has to get Jay involved. ASAP.
December
The Halstead siblings and Halstead family doing sterotypical winter things, along with them reminiscing on their childhood winter/Christmas memories. (Includes Upstead as parents, too!)
Ars Longa, Vita Brevis
Will and Jay are noticing changes in their sister as she paints more and becomes more withdrawn. Can they save her before it’s too late?
Witness Protection? You’re Kidding
You decide to be nosey on Will’s wedding day and get wrapped up in FBI case.
Brady and Burdens
Jay goes undercover at Brady, a home for girls in the 21st district, and runs into someone who he definitely was not expecting to see there.
Hometown Hero
For Jay’s birthday, you have a huge surprise for him at a Blackhawks game...with a little help from Mouse.
Maybe
The Halstead siblings learn some shocking news about their pasts...and then have to deal with the aftermath.
Self-Care
You’re burned out. So, Jay and Hailey take it upon themselves to make sure that you are taking care of yourself.
Doing What You Would Do
You thought it would just be a normal night of babysitting Makayla, but you were so, so wrong.
Code Silver
A gunman is loose in the ED...and it just so happens to be a day that Dr. Will Halstead had to bring his little sister to work with him.
Dogsitting
Jay’s little sister is dogstting for few days for some friends. When she starts to have anxiety attacks, he comes to help.
A Rough Week
What starts off as a regular bout of the flu for the Halsteads, quickly turns into much more.
Nightshift NHL
Jay and Will Halstead’s sister has a pretty successful hockey podcast. She gets the opportunity of a lifetime with one of her favorite teams. But, in typical Halstead fashion, it doesn’t go as planned.
None of This is Your Fault
Jay told his little sister not to get involved with this boy, but you were over eighteen and could do what you want. Obviously, later you realize that you should’ve listened to Jay in the first place.
Mentally Healthy
After a fight and a breakdown, Jay and Will’s sister finally tells them about her struggles with eating and her body. And, in typical Halstead fashion, they do everything they can to get her help.
Appendicitis
Jay’s sister was barely eating and claimed it was due to period cramps. But, one rough night and a call to Will later, they know that it is way more serious than just period cramps.
I Can’t Believe You
Will and his younger sister haven’t had a good relationship for the past year and a half. When Jay and Hailey go undercover, she stays with Will, despite her many protests. But then a prized possession goes missing and the two siblings have to work together to get it back...and they might just mend their relationship in the process.
The Lake
The pond (or lake, whichever) near Jay Halstead’s house that he shares with his sister has significance. It started as a place where he and his brother, Will, would bring their sister to burn off some energy, then turned into a place where Jay found love, and then a place where there was almost loss.
Trifecta from Hell
Everything hits Jay and Will’s younger sister all at once and to say they’re worried, would be an understatement. So, they arrange to have eyes on her at all times until they figure out what’s going on.
Holiday Away
Jay and Will’s younger sister thinks she ruined Thanksgiving due to her anxiety, so they devise a plan so she won’t feel that way on Christmas.
Choices
The Halstead siblings’ dad is a mob boss...and well, with Jay’s profession, that goes about as well as anyone would expect.
Learning from the Best
Jay Halstead is a world class NHL player headed to his first All-Star game. And, he decides to bring his brother, wife, and little sister along for the ride. His one mission for the weekend? It’s not winning the All-Star Game or the skills competition, but rather spending time with his family in sunny Florida and teaching his litle sister how to ice skate.
You Got This, Kid
You’ve had one bad break after another with your grad school applications, anxiety, and everything in between. Luckily, your brothers (and Hailey) are there to help you every step of the way.
Witches AU
You loved being a witch...that was, until you made a stupid decision and got them taken away. What happens if you can’t get them back?
Glasses
When you need to get glasses, your brothers think that it will be fine. But, they didn’t factor your love of soccer into the equation.
Lost
You get lost in the mall four days before Christmas and have to remember what Jay taught you to find your older brothers.
Seasons of PD/Seasons of Med mini-series
(in which I took my favorite plot-lines from each season and re-wrote them as if Jay and Will had a little sister) {I’d recommend reading them in order, but they can be read separately}
Seasons of PD and Med: Season 0: The Backstory
Seasons of PD: Season 1: Lonnie Rodiger
Seasons of PD: Season 2: Will’s Back...and There’s a Bomb
Seasons of PD: Season 3: Jay’s Missing
Seasons of Med: Season 1: Glad I Didn’t Make it that Far
Seasons of Med: Season 2 and Seasons of PD: Season 4: Necessities, Love, & Care
Seasons of PD: Season 5: PTSD
Seasons of Med: Season 3: You Saved Her Life
Seasons of Med: Season 4 and Seasons of PD: Season 6: Of Loss and Letters
Seasons of Med: Season 5 & Seasons of PD: Season 7: Necrotizing Fasciitis Scare
Seasons of PD: Season 7: Don’t You ever Do That Again, You Hear Me?
Seasons of PD: Season 8: Full-Circle Moment
Seasons of Med: Season 6: It’s Not Okay
Seasons of PD: Season 9: Ghosts of the Past
Seasons of Med: Season 7: Jay Being Jay
Seasons of PD: Season 10: A Piece of You, A Piece of Me
Seasons of Med: Season 8: Everyone Leaves (part 1a)
Seasons of Med: Season 8: Everyone Leaves (part 1b)
Stars on your Sleeve:
(Ranger! Jay + a side of Daddy! Jay) {aka where Jay finds a little girl in the desert}
Stars on your Sleeve
Stars on your Sleeve (part 2)
More Upstead-centric/Upstead as Parents Imagines
Royalty AU
The common trope of a damsel in distress and a prince saves her...but with a twist: the damsel has a little sister who needs saving more than her.
Christmas Sickness
Jay and Hailey have to deal with their three-year-old daughter getting sick in the middle of the night...on Christmas
Not in a Million Years (”Safe” Part 2)
Part two of safe where Jay and Hailey are learning more about--and freaking out about--their foster kid.
Pirate AU
Hailey and her younger sister are running from their dad. They sneak onto a pirate ship, thinking they’ll stow away there for a bit. But, things change when they meet the charming captain, Jay Halstead.
Titanic AU
Jay and his little sister are traveling on the Titanic. One night, he hears yelling, which leads to him meeting a woman named Hailey. But, will all three survive when the ship of dreams hits an iceberg a few days later?
AU-gust:
This is where I linked all the AUs I wrote for the month of August 2021.
1930s AU
It’s in the midst of the Great Depression and Prohibition in the United States and Jay Halstead is struggling to take care of him and his younger sister. But, then he meets Hailey Upton who is keeping a secret of her own...and later they realize that they can both help each other out. And, they may just fall in love in the process.
Stupid Game...But They’re All in High School This Time AU
Being a freshman in high school was never easy to begin with...but it was especially hard when the varsity football team played a stupid game where they treated girls at their school like objects. Let’s just say, Will and Jay get very overprotective when they find out that freshmen are included in the game this year. And then, Jay calls in the middle of the night and everything changes.
Country College (AU)
Jay and Will’s little sister is a freshman in college and goes to the same school in Tennessee as Jay. She moves into a house with Jay, Hailey, Adam, and Kim. Moonshine and hilarity ensue.
Who Would’ve Thought? A Government Teacher and an English Teacher (AU)
Jay Halstead and Hailey Upton have known each other for a few years as they both teach at the same high school. Jay’s daughter has been trying to set them up since she started high school, and it just hasn’t gone according to plan. But, one night she needs help and decides to call someone other than her dad, leading him to wonder just how much this other teacher cares for him and his daughter.
Safe (AU)
Jay works at a home for troubled girls and Hailey’s a social worker. The two have been in relationship for a while now. When Hailey decides to adopt a fifteen-year-old girl with a rough past, Jay of course helps her out. But, then, she has to face one of her biggest triggers of all and Jay and Hailey are there to help her every step of the way.
Royalty AU Part 2
Harper has to go to this stupid ball because according to Jay, she’s a stupid princess. She does not want to go at all. Part way through the ball the lights go out, and Jay and Hailey begin to wish that Harper wasn’t there at all.
Non-Halstead sister, but still self-insert fics
Found Family
You never really felt close with your parents; you felt closer with your babysitter, Hailey. You were even close enough to call her one night when you got really anxious. And, after that night, Hailey makes it her mission to make you feel loved and wanted...and like you have a family.
A few shorter Halstead! Sister Imagines (2k-4k words) posted on my Wattpad:
{posted these before I started posting imagines on Tumblr}:
Seasons of Med: Season 2 and Seasons of PD: Season 4: Necessities, Love, & Care (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)
Your age: 15
Jay's age: 29
Will's age: 31
You were currently sitting at the library, trying to figure out how you'd get food for dinner. It was January and you had run out of your Christmas money two weeks ago and you had burned through your money from helping with kettle corn at the beginning of December. Right now you were SOL: Shit outta luck.
Your mind wandered back to the last day you had helped working the kettle corn stand when it was a dreary late October day.
"We have kettle corn, caramel corn, cheddar, Chicago style, and a few other flavors," you explained to a customer. She picked up a medium bag of caramel corn. "That one?"
"Yes, dear. Me and my husband love this stuff," the old lady said.
"I'm sure. It's really good! It'll be six dollars." She pulled out a five and two ones. "I'll be right back with your change."
"Oh, no, keep the change, dear. Thank you for the popcorn."
"You're welcome. Have a nice day."
"Y/N," Emma said to you. "Can you grab me a lemonade from the cooler?"
"Just one?"
"Yup, just one."
You grabbed it from the cooler and were about to pass it to her when you saw who her customers were: Jay and Erin.
"Y/N?" Jay asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Working," you answered quickly. "Little bit of extra money never hurt anybody. The real question is, what are you doing here? I know Erin hates being outside when the weather is crappy."
"It's because he's annoying when he whines and begs to do something, so I figured it was just best to give in," Erin answered.
Jay rolled his eyes. "God, I can't win with either of you. Why do you always gang up on me?"
"Because, Halstead, us girls gotta stick together," Erin laughed.
"Okay, okay, fine. Y/N, what popcorn should I get?"
"First of all, it's kettle corn," you corrected. "And, I suggest the cheddar. Or, if you want a combination of both salty and sweet, then get the Chicago style. It's cheddar and caramel."
"Me and Erin like sweet, but I know you. You like cheddar. And you'll pick out the cheddar pieces when you're at my apartment, so I'll get the Chicago style."
"Or," Erin started as she picked up a large bag of caramel and a large bag of cheddar, "We could get this big bag of caramel, and then you could have this bag at your apartment for Y/N. That way the flavors aren't touching."
"Erin Lindsay and not liking her food touching. Fine, we'll take what Erin suggested and one lemonade."
"One or two straw holes?" Emma asked, picking up the lid-punching tool.
"One's fine," Jay answered.
"They swap enough spit as it is," you whispered to Emma, causing her to laugh.
"What'd she say?" Jay asked.
"I can't tell you. It's a secret."
He huffed. "Fine. Keeping secrets from your big brother? That's cold Y/N, that's cold."
"So you're saying you never kept secrets from Will?" Erin asked.
"I have the right to remain silent."
"Exactly," Erin said. "How much does he owe you?"
"Excuse me? I didn't know I'd be the one paying for all of this."
"You were the one who dragged me outside, so yes, you are paying, Halstead. Now, get your card ready."
Jay rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet. "How much?"
You did the math in your head. "$23."
"Emma, can you check her math?" Jay asked and you rolled your eyes in his lack of faith in you.
"$10 for the cheddar and $8 for the caramel makes $18...plus $5 for the lemonade...yup $23."
You handed him the card reader. "And now it's just going to ask you a few questions," you told him after his card went through.
Without allowing him to read it all the way through, Erin hit the tip and no receipt buttons. "Hey!" Jay exclaimed.
"Don't blame me! You were the one who wanted me to come out here!" She turned to you and took the bag of kettle corn as Jay picked up the 32 oz lemonade. "Thanks, Y/N!"
"No problem! Just make sure he doesn't buy any more paintings of motorcycles!"
Man, how you wished you could work that job right now because it was only for a few hours on the weekends. But, it was winter now, so there were no street fairs, farmers markets, or festivals going on. Because of this, your money had run out. You'd have to do what you'd have to get yourself some food, even if it would leave you with a guilty conscience.
With that in mind, you got up and left the library.
***
"Pop's been complaining of chest pain and refuses to go to the hospital," Jay told his older brother as he walked through the front door and into the living room.
"Of course he did," Will grumbled. Then, he turned to his father. "This won't take long. Unless it's bad. Then you'll have to come with me and actually go to the hospital this time."
"You can't force me to do anything," he argued as he watched his oldest son open up his medical bag.
"Just let him do his job. He knows what he's doing," Jay agreed with Will. Then, he remembered something. "Where's Y/N?"
"At school."
"At school? At 5 pm?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Sometimes she stays after school and does homework. She's always home before it gets too late so I don't ask."
It's not like Jay and Will could have known this, though. Yes, you would talk and they're obviously there for you because they're your brothers, but your dad's parenting skills--or lack thereof--hadn't ever come up. You'd get together with your brothers once a week, but it was usually at one of your brothers' places. They rarely came inside your and your dad's place.
"All units, we have reports of a robbery at 3020 East Main Street. Assistance requested," Jay's radio stated.
Jay looked to Will, silently asking if it was okay for him to take it. "I've got it from here."
"Thanks, man," Jay said, clapping Will on the back and leaving the house.
He drove to the small corner market that had made the call. It was only a block away from where you and your dad lived, but despite it usually being somewhat slow, today it was even slower. There was only one car parked in the lot, so Jay was confused as to who would even rob this place.
He put on his vest and walked into the store. "Got a call about a robbery," he said to the store manager as he entered.
"Yes, right over here."
He led Jay over to where a girl was sitting on a stool, tears rolling down her face. She held a box of pasta, a loaf of bread, and a small jar of peanut butter. Her coat was unzipped, revealing the tampons and pads she had stuffed inside her coat after she had ripped open the box.
"Y/N?" Jay asked in disbelief. "What are you doing? What were you even thinking?"
"I- I'm sorry," you sniffled.
Then he turned to the store manager. "You called the cops on a fifteen-year-old girl for grabbing what looks to me like necessities?"
"I've let her go the past two times when she needed things, but today she didn't have the money, so I couldn't let it slide."
Jay threw $30 in the man's hand. "There. Now it's all paid for." He turned to you and took the loaf of bread. "C'mon."
You followed him out of the store, waiting to be yelled at as you entered his truck, but it didn't come. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he handed you the bread. "Why? Why did you do this?"
"There- There's barely any food in the house. I was just hungry."
Jay looked you up and down. He hadn't been really looking for changes in weight like he told Natalie he would do six months ago. He kept it up for a few months and then winter came around and it was hard to tell because of bulky jackets and sweaters. But, now that he actually looked at your face and hands in an investigative manner, it was clear as day: You had lost even more weight.
"And the other stuff?" he asked.
"Dad won't buy them for me. Says that they're too expensive and to just use something else. He said that if he had had a son he wouldn't have to worry about it, like it's my fault. Usually, I take some from school, but I ran out and I needed them."
"And the food?" Jay asked as he started driving back to his childhood home.
"I get breakfast and lunch at school, but I have to eat dinner at home. And on weekends I just skip meals and eat breakfast and dinner."
"What? What about Dad?"
"He gets takeout or he goes to the bar and isn't home until late."
Jay sighed as he pulled into the driveway. "Go pack a bag, kid. You're staying at my place until further notice."
"Really? I thought you guys forgot about me?"
"We could never forget about you. It's just, work has been busy for both of us. So, sorry if these last few times we've all been together for dinner have seemed a little rushed. Now, go inside and grab your stuff while I have a chat with Will and Dad."
"Dad, Will," Jay said after you had run upstairs and they were sitting on the couch. "I need to talk to you. In the kitchen."
"Really, Jay. Why can't it be here?" your dad grumbled. "First he--" He pointed to Will. "Wants to take me to the hospital because he said I have a valve issue and now I can't even have a conversation with my sons while sitting down?"
"Just get up, dammit!"
The three entered the kitchen and sat down, but Jay stayed standing. "Jay, what's going on?" Will asked.
Instead of answering his older brother, Jay just opened the fridge. There was a half drank gallon of milk, a jar of grape jelly, and a can of pasta sauce, along with other condiments, and a lone egg sat on a shelf. "This? This is what you expect your daughter to eat? I caught her stealing from a store just so she could get food and tampons!"
"Well, I'm not gonna pay for it."
"Excuse you?" Will exclaimed, eyebrows raised in surprise. "What do you mean you're not paying for it? She's your daughter, isn't she? Then you have a legal responsibility to feed her, make sure she has shelter, clothes, and goes to school!"
"She can go get a job."
"She is fucking fifteen!" Jay yelled. "She doesn't need to be worrying about where her next meal is coming from! She's supposed to be worrying about getting a good grade on a math test or if that boy likes her or not, but not that!"
"She needs to learn to grow up someday. And she won't if you boys baby her like you always do whenever you see her."
"Baby her?" Will yelled, disgusted. "She's a kid. She needs to be babied sometimes. She needs fucking food and a nice home to come home to, not whatever the hell you think this is."
"It hasn't been a home since your mother died."
"Yeah, we gathered that," Jay scoffed. "But you don't have to take it out on her."
"Jay," your small voice said from the doorway into the kitchen. All three men looked over to you, your backpack on your back, a duffle bag slung over your shoulder, and your favorite blanket wadded up in your hands so that you could carry it without it dragging on the ground.
"Ready to go?" Jay asked, his voice immediately softening.
"Uh, yeah," you answered, unsure of how your dad would react.
"What do you mean ready to go?" Pat Halstead asked, standing up from where he had been previously sitting at the table. "She's not going anywhere!"
Will rushed over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder while Jay stalked over to be face to face with your dad. "She is coming with me until further notice. You're lucky I don't arrest your ass for child neglect!"
"You wouldn't do that to your own father!"
Jay pulled the cuffs out of his back pocket. "Oh yeah? Try me."
He sat back down and Jay turned to you. "Here, let me take that." You handed him your duffle bag and followed him and Will outside.
"Jay, I gotta go. I gotta get Dad to Med to get the valve fixed. And, I said one hour out of the hospital tops and it's been two."
Jay closed the truck door once you were safely inside with all your stuff. "Good luck trying to get Dad to go the hospital," he scoffed. "Get going. Don't give Goodwin another reason to fire your stupid ass."
"I'll call an ambulance if I have to." Then, Will smacked Jay upside the head.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"You know what it was for. And, I'm your older brother, it's my job."
"I'm your older brother, it's my job," Jay mocked. "But, in all seriousness, do me a favor and make sure Y/N's all caught up on her immune- immune--"
"Immunizations?" Will laughed.
"Yeah, those."
"I'll do that. And if she's not, I'll give them to her tonight when I come over to your place after my shift is done...which will be in like two hours...depending on how much of a pain in the ass he is to get in the hospital."
Jay nodded, and then got in the truck, both of you making your way to his place.
"I'm gonna go take a shower," Jay said after you had put your stuff down by the couch. "You have homework?"
"Yeah," you looked down, not wanting to even try and struggle through your homework...or have Jay sign the slip that said that you failed your last test.
Jay smiled. "I'll help you with it when I'm out of the shower, okay, kid?"
"How'd you know--"
"That is the universal facial expression of I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it. I'll be ten minutes tops."
And so, you tried to struggle through your homework for ten minutes. But, you ended up working and reworking the stupid algebra problem. Why did math need letters anyway?
"Okay, I'm back," Jay said as he pulled a chair out to sit next to you. "What are you workin' on?"
"Can you sign this first?" you asked, sliding the yellow paper over to him along with the pen. You hoped he'd just sign it blind, but as you saw his eyes skimming the page, you knew that wouldn't happen.
"Did you try your best?" he asked as he slid the piece of paper back to you after signing it.
"What? Yeah, of course, I did."
"Okay, then we'll figure something out. Now, how about we eat some dinner? I've got pizza in the freezer. That okay?"
"That's great," you answered.
Jay got the pizza in the oven while you went and changed into your pajamas. You decided it was in your best interest to have Will help you with your math homework.
***
"Ah! The man of the hour!" Jay exclaimed as he pulled out the pizza and Will entered the house.
You immediately noticed the red bag he was carrying over his shoulder and the two king-sized Twix bars.
"Why do you have your medical bag?" you asked.
"How did you know this was my medical bag?"
"I'm not stupid, Will."
"Okay, so you're all caught up on your shots, but I need to do a blood draw because I need to see if you're deficient in any vitamins and minerals. Have you been eating enough fruits and veggies?" he asked.
"Probably not as much as I should," you admitted. "They're too expensive unless I get the canned kind and I don't like those unless it's canned peaches. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Short Stack. None of this is your fault. You hear me? None of it. I just need to take the blood and then get it sent to the lab to see if you need to get any specific pills to get your vitamin and mineral levels up."
"Okay. Does it hurt?" you asked. You knew what a shot felt like, but you'd never had your blood drawn before, so you didn't know what it felt like to have a needle in your arm for a long time, taking blood. You knew what it felt like to have an IV in from when you passed out at the movie theater, but you didn't know if this needle would be the same size or bigger.
"You just feel a slight pinch at the beginning."
"Like getting a shot?"
"Like getting a shot," he confirmed.
"Hey, I was thinking," Jay started as he reappeared from the kitchen area, "what if we have celery and carrots with ranch for dinner, too? You know, like when we eat chicken wings at restaurants and they bring you some veggies, except we'll have ours with pizza."
"Okay," you agreed. "I like ranch."
"So does everyone in the midwest," Will joked.
"What's the medical bag for?" Jay asked. "She needs shots? And, what's with the Twix bars?"
"No, I'm drawing her blood to see if she's deficient in anything. And, there's one Twix bar for her and one for you because we all know how you feel about needles, Jay."
Jay rolled his eyes. "We doing this before we eat?"
"Yes. And, I need you to answer some questions for me, Y/N. These are strictly doctor protocol questions, okay? You don't need to be embarrassed about any of the answers."
You nodded.
"Okay," Will started, "When did you last eat? Just need to write it down for fasting glucose levels."
"Um, lunch at school, so around noon."
"So, six-hour fast," Will scribbled down on a piece of paper. "Next one, are you sexually active?"
"Will!"
"It's just standard protocol, just in case I need to test for STDs."
"No, I am not. Next question."
"Okay, last one: When was your last period?"
"You've got to be kidding me. I'm not pregnant, I haven't had sex!"
Will chuckled. "It's not for that. Sometimes when people are deficient in vitamins and minerals, they can lose their period for months at a time, signaling that their body isn't healthy. The medical term is amenorrhea." But, what he wanted to say was that when girls are underweight, this can also happen. And, from seeing how baggy your sweatshirt and jeans were on you, he assumed that you'd lost ten pounds since last going to the doctor when you passed out in the movie theater parking lot, making your weight loss a grand total of 25 pounds, which would qualify you as being underweight.
"Oh. I started today."
"Okay, good to know. Any changes in length or heaviness of menstruation?"
"I swear, I'd rather have Natalie or April be asking me these questions," you grumbled. "But, yes, it's a lot lighter and it went from me having my periods for five days to two days. Can we please stop talking about this now?"
"Yeah, we're all done. Sorry about that, but it's protocol."
"Says the guy who's drawing my blood at Jay's apartment instead of in a hospital, where it should be done."
"Hey, I've worked in much worse conditions than this in Sudan. How much water did you drink today?"
"A lot."
"Okay, good." Will started to unzip his medical bag. He passed a Twix bar to Jay. "Here, eat this and focus on it so you don't focus on the needles and then freak out."
Jay rolled his eyes, but took the candy bar and unwrapped it.
"Do I get one?" you asked.
"Once I draw your blood, yes, the other one is for you. Now, right or left arm?"
You held out your left arm and Will moved to the other side of you so he had a better angle. He sanitized his hands and then snapped on a pair of gloves.
"So, what do you do?" you asked. "I've never had my blood drawn before."
"I just tie off your arm so that I can get the veins to show a bit better, wipe down the spot with an antiseptic wipe, stick the needle in, and then wait for the vial to fill up."
"That's it?"
"That's it. Can you make a fist with your left hand for me?"
You did as Will told you and then he tied a band around your bicep and started touching the inside of your elbow, trying to get some veins to show. He furrowed his eyebrows and moved down your arm, rubbing your forearm and then going back up to the crook of your elbow and gently pressing there.
"What's wrong?" you asked.
"You just have really small veins is all. I could take the blood from the big vein in your forearm, but I don't really want to do that one since it's so big. Can you squeeze your fist tighter for me?" You did as he said while he kept pressing on the crook of your elbow. "There we go. Got one. Now, turn and look at Jay while I get the needle ready."
You looked at Jay and tried not to laugh. "You okay?"
"Me? I should be asking you that," he replied. "You're the one who's about to get stabbed with a needle."
"It's just that you got some sweat on your forehead. You look nervous."
"They're needles. They're tiny little sharp metal objects and if one breaks off--"
"Jay, respectfully," Will started, cutting off his brother, "shut the hell up, so you don't scare my patient. You might just want to look away instead of watching me. Then you might feel fine." Then, he turned back to you. "Okay, Y/N, keep looking at Jay. Close your eyes if you want to. You're going to feel a small pinch."
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Then, you squeezed your eyes shut tightly and grit your teeth, trying not to yell out as the needle pierced your skin.
"Hard part's done," Will said. You nodded, still keeping your eyes closed.
"That was not a small pinch," you retorted about a minute later.
"Sorry."
You opened your eyes and watched as the blood flowed from your vein into the small tube that was hooked up to the needle.
"I thought you hated blood," Jay pointed out. "And here you are, watching the entire process."
"I'm fine when it's my blood if it's not a huge, deep cut," you explained. "It's other people's blood I don't like."
"Well, that takes any job in the medical field off your career choices," Will said.
You sat there for a few more minutes, waiting for the vial to fill up. Will pressed on your arm, close to the needle, to see if more would come out. "This vein is really small," he said.
You watched as the blood coming into the tube started becoming slower and slower, in what looked to be bubbles.
"Just a little more," Will muttered.
You started taking deeper breaths as you felt sweat start to bead on your forehead.
"Okay, let's see how much this gave me." He pressed his thumb above where the needle was and you turned back to Jay as he removed the needle.
Then, he got the blood into the vial. "Bad news," he started, "I might need to take more. Let's see how much extra there is." He put the extra into another, smaller vial. "Yeah, this one clotted too, so bad news, we need more."
You nodded and closed your eyes, feeling your face get hot and starting to feel lightheaded. You pinched the bridge of your nose, willing this uncomfortable feeling to go away.
"You doing okay?" Will asked.
"Yeah," you answered.
"Okay, I'm gonna do your right arm this time." You held your right arm out to him. "Make a fist for me." You did as he told you and he tied the blue band around your bicep.
But, you were getting even dizzier. "Actually, can I get some water? I feel dizzy."
"Course," Will said. "Jay, can you get her some water and juice if you have any?"
"Apple juice good?"
"That's fine," you answered.
Will untied the band from your bicep. "We're just going to wait a few minutes until you feel less dizzy before I take more blood, okay?"
You nodded and took the water from Jay when he came back.
"Let's have the juice after I finish," Will suggested after a few minutes had passed and you finished the water. "Feeling better, Short Stack?"
"Yeah, let's get this over with." Your forehead was still a bit sweaty, but you were a lot less dizzy.
Will repeated the same process as the last arm and it went a lot faster. Turns out he picked a bit bigger vein in the crook of your elbow of this arm than he did the other one.
"And, we're done," Will said as he capped the vial.
He handed you the juice. "Thanks," you said. "That was not fun."
"I bet. At least you didn't pass out. I've had a few patients do that when I went through my clinicals. That's why normally when someone gets their blood drawn, they sit in this chair where something is flipped down in front of them so they don't fall out of the chair just in case they pass out."
"Jay, do you pass out?" you asked.
He scoffed. "No. I don't even get dizzy. My body doesn't react like that."
"He just breaks out into a sweat whenever he sees needles," Will whispered, loud enough for Jay to hear.
"Hey! I heard that! Take one more jab at me and you won't be getting any pizza, Will. I mean it!"
Will held his hands up in a mock surrender while you finished up your juice. Then, Will started to pack up his medical stuff and Jay brought the pizza and veggies and ranch out, along with plates of course.
You ate your pizza while Will helped you with your math homework. Once you finished two slices of pizza and some celery and ranch, you said that you were done.
"You sure?" Jay asked. "You can have as much as you want."
"I'm good. Gotta save some for tomorrow." Your eyes widened as you realized what you had just said. "I'm gonna go take a shower. It's been a long day."
"Okay, clean towels are in the cabinet in the bathroom where they always are," Jay said, trying not to react to what you had just said even though he knew exactly what you were doing.
You were rationing food.
"Fuck," Jay said as he put his head in his hands when he knew you were in the bathroom and out of earshot.
"What? What did she mean by gotta save some for tomorrow?" Will asked.
"She's rationing it. I used to do it in Afghanistan. Save some of my MRE and put it in my pack to eat the next day if I was on a long trek and we knew we wouldn't get back to base. It would be cold and usually disgusting, but I'd choke it down because it was calories and I needed fuel to be sharp in case we came in contact with combatants."
"Poor kid. At least we had Mom."
Jay nodded. "What happened with Dad at the hospital?"
"Had to have a mitral valve replacement because his wasn't working properly. Told him over and over to get his checked regularly, but he didn't because he's stubborn. He went for the non-surgical option first, but then there were complications, so Rhodes performed surgery. He's fine."
"That's good... I guess." Jay glanced around and he saw your duffle bag sitting outside the bathroom door. You had grabbed your clothes to bring them into the bathroom and left your open duffle bag by the door.
Jay stood up and started walking towards it.
"What are you doing?" Will hissed.
"I need to see if she's got anything else in there that will help prove neglect. I'm assuming it needs to be proved...I only know criminal court cases, don't know much about family court cases."
"What do you mean family court? You're going to fight Dad to be able to take care of her?"
"Yeah, I'll fight to be her legal guardian. Unless you want to do it. My loan went through for a new apartment, which has two bedrooms, so I figured I might be better suited."
"Go ahead. You'd probably have a better chance anyway because you were around more when I was in New York."
Jay nodded and started to dig around your duffle bag. He chuckled and pulled out your Build-A-Bear. "She still sleeps with Beary," he said as he held up the stuffed bear. "Probably doesn't change his clothes anymore because she's too old for that, but he's in pajamas."
"Remember that military uniform you got for her bear? Mom said she barely took Beary out of that because she missed you so much."
"Yeah, and if she wouldn't have dropped him at the airport, I might not have met Mouse."
The two fell into a comfortable silence as he continued to dig through your bag. He got to a big zip-lock bag full of pieces of fabric that were stained light reds and browns.
"Will, c'mere," Jay said, waving him over. Will squatted down next to Jay. "You know what this is?"
Will sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. I saw a lot of this when I worked in Sudan."
"Well, what is it?"
"So, when girls don't have access or money to buy feminine hygiene products, they'll use scraps of fabric and wash them. Looks to me like she cut up some, um, she cut up some underwear and then used them as make-shift pads. If they aren't taken care of properly, she could end up with an infection. And, if she tried to use them as tampons instead of pads, it could lead to TSS, which stands for Toxic Shock Syndrome."
"We're gonna have to talk to her about this now, aren't we?"
"Unfortunately, yeah. She's not gonna be happy you dug through her stuff, so I'll let you explain why you were going through it. And, if she used them as tampons, I want her to get a pelvic exam, just to make sure she didn't get any infections. Much more likely to get an infection from tampons than pads."
Jay nodded. He hated having the current conversation and knew he was going to hate the next one even more, but he knew he had to do these things if he wanted to petition the court for legal guardianship.
Jay picked up your duffle bag and brought it to the living room and he set the zip-lock bag full of pieces of fabric on top.
"I can't believe we missed this," Will said. "I mean, we're both trained in how to spot abuse and we couldn't even spot it in our little sister."
"There weren't outright signs," Jay said. "No bruising, limping, cuts, burns, nothing like that. And, it's winter, it's easy to hide the weight loss. But, I still agree with you. If we would've spotted it earlier, we could've gotten her out of there."
Jay ran a hand through his hair and then stood back up. "I'm gonna go put clean sheets on my bed. I'll let Y/N take it tonight so that we can keep talking out here when she goes to sleep."
"Good idea."
A few minutes later, Jay was back on the couch next to Will and you walked out of the bathroom, wearing a baggy t-shirt and some sweatpants that you had to keep pulling up because they were too big on you now, and a pair of fuzzy socks. You were cold all the time now and wanted your hoodie out of your duffle and wanted to put your dirty clothes in there, but when you looked down to the spot where you thought you had put it, it wasn't there.
"Guys?" you asked. "Have you seen my bag?"
You walked over to the kitchen table where your blanket was sitting on the chairs and wrapped that around yourself instead.
You furrowed your eyebrows as you saw your brothers on the couch, your duffle bag in front of them on the floor, and on top, your bag of ripped-up, old underwear that you used as pads when you didn't have any.
"You went through my stuff?" you asked, starting to become angry.
"Y/N," Jay started, "I know you're mad and it was me who went through it and not Will, so don't be mad at him, be mad at me. But, I went through it to see if anything was in there that could help me get you out of dad's house. Permanently."
"You- You want to have custody of me?" you asked.
A small smile appeared on Jay's lips and he nodded. "It wouldn't be considered custody because I'm not your biological parent, it would be considered guardianship, but yes, I want you to stay with me. And, my loan went through for a new apartment, so you'd have your own room and everything."
"Okay."
Jay looked at Will, not wanting to be the one to start this conversation. And, he figured Will would be the best one to start it because he was a doctor.
"Y/N, we need to ask you about these." Will motioned to the zip-lock bag on top of your stuff.
You sat in the loveseat across from them and looked down at your feet.
"It's okay, you're not in trouble," Will continued. "We just want to know how you used them in case you need to get a pelvic exam to check for infections in that area."
Your lip began to tremble as tears started to roll down your cheeks. "I used them as pads," you said quietly. "Dad wouldn't buy me any and I stopped getting them from school because I thought they'd suspect something was wrong if I- if I kept taking them."
"One more question," Will said softly. "I just need to know in case we need to take you in for this. I know you said you used them as pads, but did you ever try and use them as tampons?"
"No. I only used them as pads," you whispered. "I was scared to use them as tampons." You looked up at your brothers, who both had tears in their eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you rushed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner I was just--" You let out a wail and Jay got up and knelt in front of you.
"Hey, hey, none of this is your fault. Do you hear me? Absolutely none of this is on you. It's all on Dad. Every single bit of it. You are not the one to blame."
You launched yourself into his arms, crying out every emotion you had felt these past few months: anger, frustration, fear, sadness, it was all coming out now.
And, Jay just held you and let you cry it out because that was what your guys' mom used to do for him. And, he knew it worked.
Twenty minutes later, your wails were just quiet whimpers and you pushed yourself back up onto the loveseat, where Will had moved to the spot next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and you leaned into him, craving the comfort that had been denied to you for so long.
"You still have that Twix bar?" you asked.
"All that crying made you hungry, didn't it, Short Stack?" Will asked as Jay got up to retrieve the candy bar from the table.
You nodded.
"Thank you," you said when Jay handed you the Twix bar. You unwrapped it and broke it into the two sticks. "You guys want any?" They both shook their heads: they knew you needed to get as many calories in you as possible.
Jay sighed, he might as well get this hard conversation over with you tonight as well. "Y/N, you can eat as much as you want. I won't say anything about you eating too much, okay?"
You looked up from your candy bar. "You won't call me a burden because I'm eating your food? Like Dad did?"
"He said that?" Will asked, giving Jay a look that read when I see him next, I can't be held accountable for my actions.
"Yeah. One time there were some leftovers he had gotten from a bar and I was so hungry and it was the middle of the night, so I took them out and heated them up. The microwave timer must've woken him up because he came out just as I was about to start eating and then he yelled at me for eating his food and called me a burden."
"Well, we don't think that. Neither Will nor me think that," Jay told you. "And you can eat as much as you want."
You yawned as you crumpled up your Twix wrapper.
"Tired?" Will asked.
"Yeah," you mumbled.
"It's been a long day," Jay said. "You can take my bed."
"Jay, it's your apartment, I can't--"
"Y/N, this isn't up for discussion. I already put clean sheets on the bed for you."
"Is- Is there a fan in your room? I can't sleep without white noise."
"There is. You want me and Will to tuck you in?"
"I'm too old for that." You stood up and Will did, too. "Jay, can you hand me Beary? He should be in my duffle."
"Here you go, kid."
You took your bear and held him loosely in your arm. Then, you enveloped Jay in a hug and did the same for Will.
"I love you guys."
"We love you, too," Will said.
"Now get to sleep. You've still got school in the morning. I'll be here when you wake up."
"Dad sometimes wouldn't be home when I woke up for school. He'd be at a friend's house sleeping off a hangover from the night before or just sleeping."
Jay furrowed his eyebrows. "Doesn't he have to work?"
"He does work, but only a few days a week. The other days, he stays out really late and then comes home either drunk or hungover."
"I see," Jay stated. "Well I won't be doing that, I can promise you that."
"I know. You aren't like Dad. Neither of you are." You yawned again. "I'm going to bed, goodnight."
A few minutes later, you were out like a light and Will was still at Jay's apartment.
"So, Abby called me the other day," Will started. "She's looking for you. Says she's in town for a few days and wants to meet up."
"Oh yeah? She say why?" Jay asked, wondering why his ex-wife--who was the result of a blackout drunk wedding in Vegas, a thing that lasted only 24 hours tops--was in Chicago and was looking for him of all people.
"She said you two are still married."
Jay threw his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."
***
"Morning," Jay said as he stood at the stove flipping some eggs. "Sleep good?"
"I slept really good. Didn't even hear you wake up."
"Fan did the trick then?"
You nodded and grabbed a mug from the cupboard and went to start pouring yourself a cup of coffee.
"Nuh-uh," Jay chirped, putting his hand on the handle of the coffee pot as well.
"Why not? I drank it at Dad's."
Jay raised an eyebrow. "You drank coffee at Dad's?"
"Yeah, on the weekends sometimes that would be my breakfast because it curbs my appetite and there wasn't a lot to eat."
Jay sighed. "Well, you'll have enough to eat here, I can promise you that. And, coffee stunts your growth."
"Jay," you groaned. "I haven't grown since sixth grade."
"Okay, well, then you don't want to become dependent on it at such an early age, then. Come talk to me when you're a legal adult or in college."
"Fine." You let go of the coffee pot and put the mug back in the cupboard.
"You can have juice though." The toast in the toaster popped up and Jay placed the toast on a plate and then put a slice of cheese on each piece and then an egg on top. He also put a small bowl of strawberries next to it. "I'm gonna go get dressed while you eat. And then, once you're ready, I'll take you to school."
"Okay, thanks, Jay."
"You're welcome, kiddo."
You rolled your eyes at the nickname and then went to the fridge to get the apple juice. When you opened the fridge, you saw a brown paper bag with your name on it. Curiosity got the best of you, so you took it out and looked at the contents while you ate your breakfast.
Inside was a ham and Colby jack cheese sandwich with lettuce, pickles, mustard, and mayonnaise, an apple, a coconut-flavored Greek yogurt, celery with peanut butter, and a chocolate chip granola bar. There were also two dollars at the bottom of the bag paperclipped together with a sticky note stuck to the top.
For chocolate milk. ~Jay was what the note read.
Tears sprung to your eyes as you continued to eat your breakfast. You don't remember the last time you brought a lunch to school; you'd always get your lunch for free at school. When you got the paper from school about the free/reduced lunch because teachers noticed you didn't have much to eat, you waited until your dad was hungover and it was early in the morning, and handed him a pen and he signed the paper blindly. And, that's how you got lunch and breakfast at school without any cost to you or your dad.
"Hey, I can just brush my teeth at the kitchen sink if you want the bathroom--" He cut himself off when he saw the tears in your eyes. "What's wrong?"
"You- You made me lunch?" you asked as you turned to face him.
He smiled. "Of course I did. I know how bad cafeteria food can be. And, if it tastes good, it's usually not very good for you."
"Thank you," you said as you wiped a tear away that had rolled down your cheek.
"Aww, hey, don't cry, don't cry. It's okay. You're safe now. You don't need to worry about where your next meal will come from. And, I'm going to petition a judge for legal guardianship in a few days. I just have to have a few conversations with some lawyers."
"Does this mean you have to move? I don't want to kick you out of your apartment."
Jay dismissed that with a wave. "I already put in a loan application for a new apartment. Two bedrooms. Really nice."
"Can you tell me about it? While I finish eating my strawberries."
Jay nodded and sat down in the chair across from you. "It's a two-bedroom, washer, dryer. But, I know you don't care about those things. There's underground parking. It's got a gym, a whole club level, with like a coffee lounge, and all this other stuff."
"That sounds really nice."
"Yeah, it is a pretty nice building. Coffee lounge would be perfect for you to get your homework done if you don't feel like staying in the apartment."
"I thought you said I couldn't drink coffee?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I meant the caffeine in the coffee. Decaf coffee and lattes and tea lattes, that's a different story. I'm sure they have pastries there, too."
"Never pegged you for a coffee snob," you joked.
"You learn a lot about coffee and about a person when you have to get your entire unit coffee. I'll let you in on a little secret: Ruzek's coffee order is the most complicated."
"Really?"
"Really. Now, go finish getting ready. Don't want you being late for school."
***
"Hey, Er, can you meet me at the diner we usually go to?" Jay asked his girlfriend over the phone after he had dropped you off at school.
"Yeah, no problem. Give me fifteen minutes. We haven't caught a case yet, but we should keep our radios on just in case. Everything okay?"
"It's a long story. I'll explain everything in person, okay?"
"Okay," Erin answered skeptically. "I'll see you in a few."
Fifteen minutes later on the dot, Erin walked into the little diner and spotted Jay sitting in the corner booth.
"Alright, what's going on?" she asked after she had ordered her food and some coffee. "You sounded really stressed on the phone."
Jay sighed. "I'm going to fight for legal guardianship of Y/N."
"What? Why? What happened?" Erin asked as she widened her eyes.
"Our dad, he uh, he hasn't really been the greatest. Not keeping food in the house, calling her a burden when she tries to eat some of his food, not buying her products for you know...girl stuff. She's probably lost like 25 pounds since the end of last school year. And, I know that doesn't sound like a lot with the amount of time that's passed, but she's underweight. Will drew some of her blood last night to see if she's deficient in some vitamins or minerals."
"My God."
"Yeah, so, I know we were going to move into your place together, but I need another bedroom and my loan went through at that place I told you about, so I'm going to put an offer in there. You could always move in with me if you want, but I don't know if it would be a good idea for that to happen right away. I just want to get Y/N healthy again. I'm sorry."
"Jay, I get it. She's family. Do you know how you're going to go about this? Did you talk to Voight about taking any time off to sort this out?"
"Not yet. But, I think I'm going to call Antonio and see if he can help me out with getting a meeting with ASA Stone. I know he works criminal cases, but he's gotta know some stuff about family court cases. So, I figured he might be able to help me with this whole process."
"Good idea. If you need any help, just say the word and I'll be there."
Jay smiled. "Thanks, Er." He didn't want to have the conversation he was about to have, but he knew he had to tell her. "There's uh, there's one more thing I need to tell you."
"Okay, what is it?"
"About eight years ago, I was married."
"Excuse me, what? You were married and you didn't tell me?"
Jay knew this was a bad idea...which was why he hadn't wanted to tell Erin, but now that he wasn't officially divorced for whatever reason, he knew needed to tell her. "Just let me explain."
"Yes, please do," Erin sneered.
"Her name's Abby. She ran Cultural Support during my last tour in Kandahar. About a year after I came home, I saw her at a funeral in Vegas. Was... was a guy in our unit, he had redeployed, and, um, he didn't... Um, I was, like, blacking out most nights, and we were both pretty shook up. And, um, we got married." He chuckled at the thought of his twenty-one-year-old self thinking that marriage was a good idea. "It was, like, a 24-hour thing, it was a total joke, and it is long over."
Erin just stared at him, as he waited to be chewed out by her. "Jay, you married this girl. And you never told me, and you were never gonna tell me," was all she said.
"I know. And, I'm sorry. But, I'm meeting up with her in a few days to sign the documents that I thought I'd signed because she's getting married and we need to make the divorce official...even though, in my mind, it's been official for eight years.
"Er, please don't hate me, but with everything going on, with me trying to get guardianship of Y/N and me finding out that I'm somehow still married--"
"You want us to take a break?" Erin asked, finishing his sentence for him.
Jay nodded. "I'm sorry. I just don't think I can juggle a relationship with all this other stuff. And, it's not fair to you."
Erin swallowed. "Well, just tell me if you need any help with Y/N. I'll always be there for you. Relationship or partnership, I'll always have your six."
"And I'll always have yours."
Erin's phone buzzed on the table and she picked it up. "It's Voight. We caught a case."
Jay laid some bills on the table. "Then let's go."
***
"Got the results of Y/N's bloodwork back," Will told Jay over the phone while he had a quick break for lunch...even though it was four o'clock in the afternoon. But, that's the thing about the medical field: breaks are never regular.
"And? Any deficiencies?" Jay asked, walking into his bedroom as you were at the table doing homework and he didn't want to distract you.
"Yes, two actually. Iron and riboflavin. The low iron explains why her periods have become shorter and lighter, but that can also be attributed to how small she is now."
"How do we go about this then?"
"I'll send you a list of foods that have levels high iron and riboflavin. Oh, riboflavin's found in vitamin B by the way."
"Okay, care to tell me what iron and riboflavin do? I know iron helps with hemoglobin and red blood cells, but I have no idea what riboflavin does."
"You're right about iron. I'm shocked. Or, what do the kids say these days? I'm shook."
"I swear to God, please never use that phrase again. And, I know what iron does because I paid attention in high school nutrition class, thank you very much."
"If I remember correctly, I helped you with most of the homework in that class."
"Whatever, you helped me. Now, tell me about riboflavin."
"So, riboflavin just helps convert food into energy and is needed for healthy skin, hair, blood, and a healthy brain." Jay could hear a beeping in the background on Will's end. "Gotta go. I'll send you that list of foods right now, though."
"Thanks, man."
You looked up as Jay came back into the kitchen. "Everything okay?" you asked.
Jay pulled out a chair and sat across from you. "So, I just got off the phone with Will. He got the results from your bloodwork back."
"Is it bad? Am I dying?" You set your pencil down, bracing yourself for bad news.
"No," Jay chuckled, "you're not dying. You just don't have enough iron and riboflavin, which is a specific B vitamin. Will sent me a list of foods that have high levels of those in them. You up for some grocery shopping? We can also grab some multivitamins that have those in them, too, just to help your levels stabilize faster."
"Okay, we can go now. I'm due for a break."
***
"So, some foods that contain riboflavin include milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, meats, green leafy vegetables, and riboflavin enriched grains and cereals," Jay read off his phone.
"I've had a lot of those today already," you pointed out. "Eggs and cheese with breakfast. I had that yogurt for a snack at school, and I had meat and cheese on my sandwich and I had chocolate milk with my lunch at school."
That was just standard, Jay thought. He wondered what you ate when you were at your Dad's. And, he knew that if he wanted to obtain guardianship of you, he'd need to know these things.
"What did you eat at Dad's?" Jay probed.
"I mean, I barely made it to school on time most mornings because I was trying to be quiet so I didn't wake Dad, which made me move slower when getting ready. So, I'd usually just grab a small thing of dry cereal when I got to school and eat it in my first class. I never checked to see if it was one of the enriched ones. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize. There's no way you could've known. Now, what did you usually have for lunch at school?"
"I always tried to get veggies with my lunch, but most of the veggies were the gross canned ones, like canned corn or green beans. I don't like those. Sometimes, they'd have little salads as a side and I'd get those. Sometimes they'd have yogurt parfaits and I'd get those. But, I'd usually go for the pre-made subs, because at least those would have veggies on them...even if it was just lettuce and pickles. I'd usually try to get an apple or banana as my side, too." You paused. "If I was getting meat and cheese from the sub and milk from my chocolate milk, then how am I deficient in this?"
"It's probably because the meat and cheese schools use is so heavily processed that there are little to no vitamins left in it," Jay answered.
"And you know this how?"
"As you get older, you acquire a lot of knowledge and one of those things is that the more processed a food is, the fewer vitamins and minerals are preserved...and I watch a lot of The Food that Built America on the History channel."
"Oh, okay. What foods are on that show?"
"Usually it's about fast food. One episode I watched last week was about ice cream and popsicles and how they came to be in America. Pretty interesting."
"Can we watch an episode tonight? That show sounds good."
"Of course." He paused in front of the fresh produce. "Take your pick. But, just make sure you get some leafy greens for the riboflavin and some fruit and other green veggies for iron."
You picked up a few things such as more apples, a bag of Clementines, bananas, spinach, carrots, and celery, and then, you shocked your brother as you picked up a bag of kale.
"Kale?" he asked. "Didn't know you liked it."
You shrugged. "I heard it tastes kind of like spinach. And, I saw a recipe on Pinterest for a salad that has kale, lemon juice, and dates. Is it okay if we try that?"
"You know, I think that would be the perfect side for dinner tonight. I'll add lemon juice and dates to the list."
"I didn't grab too many fruits and veggies, right?" you asked, not wanting to waste food or your brother's hard-earned money. "I- I can put some back if you want me to."
"Nope, it's all good. We can always freeze the bananas if they go bad for smoothies or banana bread. And, we can always turn the apples into apple sauce. Spinach and kale freeze well, too and you can't even taste them if we put them in smoothies."
"How do you know this stuff?" you asked.
"I used to watch Mom cook a lot when I was little. And, when I moved out on my own, she gave me a copy of a cookbook she always used. Said the recipes at the beginning of the book were simple enough that I wouldn't burn my apartment down."
You laughed at the thought of your mom scolding Jay if his apartment got ruined from his cooking. "Do you still have it?" you asked. "The cookbook, I mean."
"I do."
"Can we make something out of it tonight?"
"You know, I think that's a great idea." He pursed his lips. "How about Mom's chicken pot pie? I think I have some frozen peas and corn in the freezer and we can use the carrots we just grabbed in it, too."
"That sounds really good. Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me." Jay paused. He figured now would be as good a time as any to tell you. "Uh, do you remember the day that we got ice cream and went and played soccer with Ben when you were little? The night that Mom went into the hospital?"
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat at the memory of that day.
"Well, she told me to take care of you. There's no way I would break a promise to Mom."
"She said that?"
"Mhmm."
"It's like she knew something was going to happen."
"Mom was a smart lady. Will had to have gotten it from somewhere and he sure didn't get it from Dad."
You laughed. "Hey, you're smart, too. Just not sciency smart. You're more puzzle smart because you put the pieces together of who committed a crime." Jay laughed at your description of his job. "Oh, is the recipe for Mom's garlic mashed potatoes in that cookbook?"
"It is. Want those as a side along with the salad you mentioned?"
"Yes, please...if it's not a problem."
"They're super simple and quick to make." He scribbled on a piece of notebook paper that he had written down a few groceries on, like the salad ingredients you had mentioned. "Alright, potatoes, a rotisserie chicken, and pastry dough have all been added to the list."
***
"I'll be back later tonight, no later than midnight," Jay told you two days later on Sunday night. "I know it's not ideal because you have school in the morning, but try and get some sleep while I'm gone, okay?"
"I'm used to being home alone at night, Jay." You shrugged. "I'll be fine."
"I know, it's just that not something I want you to get used to. Feel free to eat anything you want, cook anything you want. As long as you don't burn down the house, I don't care what you make. Oh, and remember to take your multivitamin before bed."
You rolled your eyes. "I'm fifteen, not five. Now, get going. Don't want you to be late to meet that lawyer."
"Love you. I'll be back by midnight. Lock the door behind me."
"I will. Love you, too."
With that, Jay left his apartment to go meet with ASA Stone and you locked the door behind him as he told you.
***
"So, Antonio told me you have some custody questions," Peter Stone said once he closed the door of his office.
"That's right," Jay replied as he took a seat in front of Stone's desk and turned his phone completely off and Stone took a seat in his chair behind his desk.
"Didn't know you had a kid, Halstead."
"No, I don't actually," Jay chuckled. "I have a kid sister. Name's Y/N and she's fifteen."
"Okay, and why do you want guardianship then?"
"When me and Will, my older brother, were kids, our dad kinda checked out on parenting us when we hit our mid-teens. But, we had our mom around, so it was okay. I went over there the other day because my dad was having some heart issues and I called Will. When I was there, I got a call of a robbery and it was Y/N. She was stealing food from a corner store because our dad wasn't feeding her," Jay explained.
"I see. So, other than her word and her stealing food, do you have any proof of this?"
"I know I should've called DCFS before letting her stay with me, but I couldn't let her stay there a minute longer, Peter. She's lost like 25 pounds in the past six months and she's deficient in both iron and vitamin B."
"Okay, what we have to do is petition for guardianship in front of a judge. I can help you with the documents and I can even represent you at the hearing if you want."
"Wow, yeah, that'd be great. Thank you."
"Anything else you want to tell me about your dad? Any physical or emotional abuse?"
"Not technically, but there is something else." And then Jay launched into all the information you had told him two days ago.
"Okay. And, you know your dad could theoretically press kidnapping charges against you because you took his kid without his permission?"
"I do. But he was basically starving her. No jury would find me guilty."
"I'm not going to argue with you about that one because I agree with you."
"So, do you think I have a chance of getting guardianship over Y/N?"
"In theory, yes. But, most judges like to keep the child with their biological parents. But, seeing as Y/N's fifteen, she does get some say in who she stays with," Stone explained. "When we have a custody or guardianship battle, we use the child's best interest standard. This means that you must prove that you are capable of providing food, clothing, housing, medical care, and a stable home life for Y/N. There will be one or two home visits before appearing before a judge, just to let you know."
"I'm aware of that. And, I just put an offer in on a new apartment with two bedrooms this morning and they're pretty quick in responding, so I should know in the next few days whether or not I got it."
"That's a good start. And you are financially stable to raise her until she turns eighteen, so three more years?"
"I am."
"Alright, let's start on those documents then. Unless you have any more questions for me?"
"I do actually. I, uh, I just found out that I'm technically still married. Something about me not signing the divorce papers even though I specifically remember signing them? And, before you ask, me and this girl served together, we were both twenty-one, going through rough patches and it was a Vegas wedding eight years ago. Lasted no more than twenty-four hours."
"It's really good that you told me this because any good lawyer would find that out when you file for guardianship. It's possible that she didn't co-sign the divorce papers. If that's the reason, I can help you draw up new divorce papers right now."
"Really? You'd help me with that?"
"Of course. A friend of Antonio's is a friend of mine," Stone said as he started typing on his computer. "So, what you can do is you can file for a no-fault divorce."
"You're gonna have to be specific, Stone. I know a bit of criminal law because I've had to testify in criminal cases, but like I said, I don't know family or civil law," Jay said.
"What a no-fault divorce is, Jay, is that you don't have to prove that either of you did anything wrong to get a divorce. All you have to do is state that your marriage is unsalvageable and continue filing for divorce."
"That's it? What if she doesn't sign it?"
"The divorce papers will be served to, uh...what's this girl's name again?" Stone asked.
"Abby."
"Abby. The divorce papers will be served to Abby and she has twenty days to file her response with the court. If she doesn't, then the court rules it as an uncontested divorce and then you're officially divorced."
"Me and Abby are meeting up to talk about all this tonight. But, can we just fill out paperwork for this no-fault divorce just in case things don't go as planned? I just really need to get guardianship of Y/N. The least amount of problems, the better."
"Of course. And if everything goes well with her tonight, then just give me a call and I'll shred the documents."
"Alright, just tell me where to sign."
***
"Wilson is running through the showers wearing nothing but a Kevlar vest, right?" Jay reminisced on the good parts of his Ranger days with Abby at a bar around 8:30 that night after his meeting with Peter Stone.
"Well, the lieutenant said, all outdoor activities to be conducted in body armor." Jay laughed at Abby's rendition of their lieutenant's voice. "Do you remember, he had his girlfriend's name tattooed on his ass?"
Jay set his empty drink down on the bar. "Did he tell you that was his girlfriend? That was his dog's name," Jay laughed.
"That actually makes more sense," Abby said. "I could go for another one of these."
"I, um, I shouldn't."
"Gotta get back to the barracks?"
"No, I uh gotta get back to my little sister, actually. I'm looking after her at the moment. It's a long story. Do you have the papers?"
"I, uh, I don't have them."
"Abby."
"It's just, I never told you. Even that crazy day we got married, I never told you that I loved you, Jay. It didn't feel right. But, I loved you, Jay. I do love you."
Jay sighed. "Abby, you deserve everything good. I'm just not the guy that's gonna give that to you." He brushed her hair to the side and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
After putting some money on the bar to pay for the drinks and tip the bartender, he left the bar. Guess he was going to need these no-fault divorce documents, anyway.
He was almost to his car when he heard someone calling his name. And, it was a voice he knew all too well.
"Erin?" he shouted as she came closer. "What are you doing here?"
"Would it kill you to turn on your phone? You need to get to the district. Now."
"What? Why? What's wrong?"
She got in his passenger seat. "Just drive. I'll explain on the way."
***
You were sitting on Jay's bed reading a book when you heard a knock on the door.
Slowly, you got off his bed and made your way out of his room. You took a knife out of the knife block, but you hoped you wouldn't need to use it. Jay would've told you if someone was planning on stopping over. And, if it was Will, he would've given you a heads-up.
The knocking got louder and more aggressive. "Jayson! Open this door! I have the right to see my daughter!"
Dad.
With the knife still in hand, you backed up and then, once on the carpet, ran back into Jay's room and quietly shut the door and locked it. You pulled out your phone and tried Jay. It went straight to voicemail. The pounding was getting louder. You tried Will. It went straight to voicemail because he was on shift. You thought you heard your dad starting to kick the door now instead of just pounding on it with his fists. You tried the last person you thought could help.
"Y/N?" Erin asked as she answered her phone and paused the tv show she was watching.
"Erin," you whispered. "I'm scared. I need help."
"You need help? Can you tell me why?"
"My dad, he's- he's here. He's looking for me." You heard a crash.
"Jay? Y/N? I know one of you is in here!"
"I- I think he just broke down the apartment door. Please help."
"Okay, okay, here's what you're going to do. I want you to hide somewhere and I'm going to call a patrol car over there right now. You're going to turn your phone on silent and I'm going to call you right back," she told you.
"Okay," you whispered as quietly as you could.
"I'll call you back in one minute tops."
You moved as quietly as you could with the knife and your phone still in your hands and opened Jay's closet door. You buried yourself behind the two garment bags that contained Jay's police blues and his military dress uniform, hoping against hope that your dad wouldn't find you.
Your phone lit up and it was Erin. You answered.
"Y/N, the officers will be there soon. I don't want you to talk. Just know that I'm on the phone with you."
At the same time, as she was talking to you over speakerphone, she was texting the team. She assumed you couldn't reach Jay or Will since you had called her. She told them what was happening and that a few of them needed to get to the district because they needed to find Jay's location. She also told Voight to get ahold of Sharon Goodwin so she could notify Will of what was currently happening.
"Chicago PD! Put your hands where we can see them!" you heard from your hiding place.
"See?" Erin said. "I told you that you'd be okay. I told them that you were hiding, so if someone opens the door, it's just an officer."
Just after she said that the closet door opened.
You squeaked.
"It's okay. You're safe," the officer said. "We're just going to take you down to the district. You're safe."
You peeked out from your hiding place and you saw the blues of the officers. You slowly made your way out and followed the officer out to the patrol car, the one that didn't house your dad for a breaking and entering charge at the moment.
***
"Where is she?" Jay yelled as he entered the district.
Platt just pointed to the bench next to one of the offices where you were sitting, staring at the floor, with a police jacket draped over your shoulders.
He sunk to his knees in front of you. "Are you hurt? Did Dad hurt you? Did he put his hands on you in any way?"
You shook your head.
"Oh thank God."
"I was so scared," you whispered. "When you and Will didn't answer, I thought he was gonna get me."
"I'm sorry. I turned off my phone when I talked to ASA Stone, and I forgot to turn it back on. I'm so sorry. C'mere."
You all but fell off the bench and into Jay's arms. "Is he going to jail? I don't want him going to jail."
"He was drunk out of his mind. I can ask not to press charges, though."
"Please. He needs help."
Although Jay didn't say it, he knew you were right. Jails and prisons didn't rehabilitate, they just taught criminals how to be better criminals. He knew that his dad needed rehab, a twelve-step program, anything.
"Okay, I won't press charges. But, I think we're gonna need to stay with Will for the night because our door's broken. What do you say we run home and grab some clothes to bring to Will's? And, since Dad will be here for a little longer, we can run to his house and get more of your stuff. Sound like a plan?"
"Can we get Dairy Queen on the way to Will's?"
"We sure can."
***
"I- I don't think any of these dresses will fit me anymore. They look way too big," you said to Jay as the two of you unpacked a bunch of your stuff in the guest room of Jay's new apartment. You wanted to think of it as the guest room for now instead of calling it your room just in case Jay wasn't awarded guardianship. You didn't want to get too attached.
Jay sighed. He figured you were right. He would see if Erin could take you, but their relationship was on the backburner right now. And, Erin had some stuff with Bunny she had to work out after she had brought her that pearl bracelet and said that she might be leaving Chicago. So, now wasn't really the right time for him to be bugging Erin about going shopping with you. And, he couldn't ask Kim because she was taking some furlough after finding her sister brutally sodomized after a night out.
He thought about asking Will if Nina could come, but he didn't think that those two were too happy with each other at the moment since Will hadn't told Nina about their dad being in the hospital and she had to find out from Natalie. Not Will's greatest moment.
He racked his brain for more women he knew.
Then it hit him: Gabby.
Yes, they had briefly dated, but that was five years ago. She was married now and his feelings for her were completely gone. They were civil with each other when they saw each other in the field and would chat when Gabby showed up at the district to pick up Eva or Diego.
"How about you try a few on after we finish unpacking, and then if none of them really fit, I can give Gabby a call and see if she'll take you shopping while I work on unpacking the rest of the house," Jay suggested.
"Okay. Will's gonna be over after his shift to help though, right?" you asked.
"He better be. He said he would. If he doesn't come, he better have a really good excuse."
"You can't unpack the kitchen without me," you told him.
"Why not?"
"I can't have you putting the glasses and other stuff on high shelves because I wanna reach them without having to climb on the counter."
"Okay, fine. I'll keep your short little height in mind while I unpack." He paused. "Do you want to get those fancy word stickers for your room for one of the walls?"
"Decals? And, it's not my room yet."
"Listen, after that stunt Dad pulled at my old apartment, Stone is 99.9% positive that I'll be granted guardianship. We just have to jump through all the hoops first."
"Like the home checks?"
"Like the home checks," he confirmed.
"What do I say in court?" you asked a few minutes later as you were putting the pillows on your freshly made bed.
"You just tell the truth," he answered.
"Will you be in there with me?"
"No, I won't. Stone said that usually in these cases you talk to the judge by yourself so that you can't be intimidated by either of the people who are fighting for custody or guardianship."
"So you won't be there? Will won't be there?"
"Will will be out in the hall and I will be in a different room. I'll be in like a witness room, where they make witnesses of a crime wait so that their testimony isn't swayed by what the other people are saying on the stand. But, me and Dad will be in the courtroom at the same time, just so I can see what he'll be saying."
"And, I'll be in there then, too?"
"Yes."
"What kind of questions do they ask me?"
"Stone said that since you're older, you get a say in who you stay with, so they'll ask you questions like who've you known the longest, who you feel safest with, who you want to live with, etc."
"Will they ask me questions about Dad? Like how he didn't give me food and how he broke into your apartment?" you asked.
"They will," Jay confirmed. "But, Stone will be in there for those questions just in case he needs to object to something."
"So the only time I'll be alone with the judge is when they're asking me the first few questions? Like who I feel safest with?"
"Exactly. Now, do you need help putting these books on the top shelf of your bookshelf?"
***
"Hey, how was your day?" Jay asked as he came home from work that afternoon. It was a shock that he was home by 5 pm, but you had a big day tomorrow. Not only was tomorrow Friday, it was the day you and Jay had to go to court to see if he would be awarded guardianship of you.
"We've got a problem," you stated.
"Um, I can try to help you with it, but let me go put my gun away first."
While he was doing that, you pulled out the slip of paper and the note that Gretchen Cunningham had written, saying that she wouldn't allow you to make up the test you would be missing because you had to go to court.
"Alright, what's the problem?" Jay asked as he walked into the kitchen.
"Cunningham. She's the problem...as always."
You handed him the papers and he read them over. "Yeah, this isn't going to fly. She doesn't need a judge's signature to allow you to take the test. I'll talk to the school tomorrow morning when I call to tell them you'll be absent."
"I hate her," you groaned. "She's so mean. And, I know what you're gonna say. You have to deal with people you don't like. But, she lost one of my assignments and told me I didn't turn it in and couldn't re-do it!"
"Well did you?" Jay asked. "Turn it in, I mean."
"Jay!"
He put his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I'm just saying, could be your fault."
"Yes, I turned in the stupid assignment. And, she paired me up with the stupidest kid in the class and told me to do well on this assignment because he needed a good grade to pass. It's not my fault he's failing! Don't put his grade on me, lady!"
"And she wouldn't let you re-do it?"
"Nope. But it's fine. I'm still getting an A. That might change if she doesn't let me take this test, though."
"It's like deja-vu from my freshman year all over again. Why doesn't she retire already? She's like 100."
"Or they could fire her," you quipped. "Or I could switch classes."
"I'll see what I can do. Who's the other history teacher?"
"Um, Miss Hedge."
"Hedge? As in Jayne Hedge?"
"Yeah, it's actually her. Why? Do you know her?"
"Yes he does," Will said as he entered Jay's apartment. "In fact, they went to freshman snowcoming together."
"How did you even get in here?" Jay asked, turning around to look at his older brother.
"For a cop, you're not that smart. You didn't lock the door behind you."
"I don't lock my door when I'm still awake. And, seriously? You just had to tell Y/N that, didn't you?"
"You guys can't just leave me hanging now. Tell me the story!"
"Fine," Jay grumbled and Will just laughed and sat down at the table, too. "I met her at school, obviously. She was on the freshman basketball team and I had winter weight training for the soccer team. I thought she was pretty and she was really smart, too. And, I knew that a bunch of the girls went to get Taco Bell after practice, so me and some of my friends decided to go, too."
"There used to be a Taco Bell close to school?" you asked. If there was, you'd never seen it before.
"It got torn down just after I graduated," Jay answered. "Anyway, we went to Taco Bell and I started talking to her and we talked a lot after practice. I'd walk her home sometimes. Then, I asked her to snowcoming and she said yes."
"So, why'd you guys break up? I know you dated Allie in high school."
"We realized we were better off as friends." Jay shrugged.
"And he realized he liked Allie more," Will added.
"Yeah, that too."
Will set a big bag of takeout on the table.
"Seriously?" Jay asked. "I thought we weren't going to do this that much anymore so we can get Y/N's vitamin and mineral levels stabilized."
"I'm sure she'd appreciate the break from your mundane meals," Will said. "And, I got us all side salads to go with the burgers instead of fries, so calm down." Jay gave him a look. "Fine, I got the side salads along with the fries. But, they're made out of potatoes, so they're technically a vegetable."
"For a doctor, you don't know much about nutrition, do you? And, my meals are not mundane."
"Dude, you'd have chicken, spaghetti, or grilled cheese every night."
"Not every night, just a lot of nights when I'd get home from the district late. I'll have you know me and Y/N have been making really good diners lately. Wanna tell Will what we made last night for dinner, Short Stack?"
"We made this really good pasta. We used Orzo, which looks like rice, but it's pasta. And we made a sauce out of tomatoes, onions, and orange juice. It was supposed to be lemon juice, but Jay didn't have any. We put chicken sausage in it for protein...and spices of course," you told Will.
"That actually sounds really good. Wow, Jay cooking every night, not something I expected."
"I like it," you said. "And, he lets me play whatever music I want when we cook."
Will rolled his eyes. You had Jay so wrapped around your finger that he'd do almost anything for you. Will didn't think he himself was that bad, but deep down, he knew he'd do anything for you, too...despite not being in Chicago as long as Jay had been.
***
"So I got a call from Stone this morning," Jay said around 11:30 that night when he and Will were sitting on the couch, each nursing a beer.
Will set his beer down on the coffee table in front of him. "And?"
"And, as of yesterday at midnight, I am officially divorced from Abby. Turns out, they served her the papers and, since she didn't sign them and it had been twenty days, it turned into an uncontested, no-fault divorce."
"Congrats, man. Might've been eight years too late, but you're a free man now."
"Amen to that. And it came at just the right time."
"Yeah," Will agreed. "You nervous for tomorrow?"
"Not really. More nervous for Y/N than anything. I've testified in criminal cases, so I kinda know how this goes, but she hasn't. And, before me and Dad go in to plead our cases, she has to talk to the judge all by herself. I just wish one of us could be in there with her."
Will nodded. "Know what they're going to ask you?"
"I know what Stone's going to ask me because we prepped, but I have no idea what Dad's lawyer is going to ask me. Pretty sure he's got just a public defender, though. Hopefully, that works in my favor."
"Not always, man," Will disagreed. "The public defenders who do these cases only do these cases. They've had a lot of practice."
"You really know how to make me feel better, thanks," Jay replied sarcastically.
"Rather have you hear it from me before the case than someone else after. Are you going to get cross-examined?"
"Probably. Don't know what they're going to ask me though because it's a cross. Stone set up some sample questions for me to answer with him to practice, but I'm going in blind. I'm used to it though because I've testified before. But, this feels like my biggest case."
"Because it probably is."
"Are you talking about tomorrow?" you asked as you quietly padded across the floor towards the living room.
"Y/N? What are you doing up? It's almost midnight," Jay pointed out.
"I- I know. But I couldn't sleep. I'm scared. What if I have to go back to Dad's? What if they find neither of you fit and I have to go into foster care?"
Jay patted the empty spot on the couch next to him and you sat down. "We just have to trust the system. That's all we can do."
"I know, but I can't sleep. And I'm so tired."
"I have an idea," Jay started and stood up, "stay here."
"I'm gonna go look for some melatonin," Will said after a few minutes of you two just sitting in silence. "I think Jay still has some for nights that he can't sleep."
Will was still rummaging around Jay's cabinets when Jay came back with a big black box with some cords and a cardboard box balanced against his hip.
"The hell is that?" You quickly covered your mouth when you realized you had sworn. "Sorry."
"It's okay. And, to answer your question, this is VCR. And, I have a bunch of videotapes in this box." He turned from you to face the kitchen, where Will was still opening and closing cabinets. "Will? What are you doing?"
"Looking for melatonin for Y/N. You got any?"
"First of all, it's so late that if you give it to her now, she'll sleep through her alarm and we can't be late for court tomorrow. And, second of all, I keep it in the medicine cabinet in my bathroom."
Will closed the cabinet and made his way back to the couch to sit next to you as Jay started to hook up the VCR to the tv. "Uh, Jay," Will began, "you know it's a little late for a movie right? And, I should get going in like half an hour?"
"We're not watching a movie. I recorded a bunch of the Blackhawks playoff games on one of these and I thought Y/N'd like to watch the 2010 Stanely Cup final series against the Flyers. Or, we could watch the final series against the Bruins when they won the cup last year."
"Let's watch the 2010 one," you said. "I don't think I watched it because I wasn't into watching hockey as much as I am now."
"And you have Jay to thank for that," Will pointed out.
"You can record things on there? Like an old-school DVR?" you asked.
"God, now I feel old," Will groaned. "Wait until she learns about floppy disks."
"Floppy what now?"
"Nevermind. Only 80s-90s kids would get it."
"We get it. You guys are millennials."
"Got it!" Jay exclaimed as he popped the videotape into the VCR and it started playing. "Now, shut up so we can relive this, Will."
You fell asleep before you even reached the end of the first period.
***
You rubbed your eyes and then looked around you to notice that you were still on the couch. You craned your neck to see the time on the oven on the other side of the open concept kitchen and living room and saw that it was 5:45 am. Jay was at the gym now. And, you knew you wouldn't be able to fall back asleep because you were already starting to worry about the rest of the day. You had to be in court at 8:30 and had to be talking to a judge at 9:00, the judge that would determine who you would be living with, which would inevitably determine your future.
God, you were thinking just like the teachers talked about the SATs, how if you didn't get a good grade on that standardized test that your future would be ruined.
You stood up and stretched and then went back to your room to grab the book you were currently reading. Then, you turned on a few lamps and grabbed a yogurt and fruit from the fridge, along with a glass of orange juice. After wrapping yourself in a blanket, you started to eat and read, hoping that that would keep your mind from wandering and worrying at least until Jay got back from the gym.
Half an hour later, Jay unlocked the apartment door and walked inside, confused as to why you were awake. It was only 6:15 and he had told you just to be up by 6:45.
"What are you doing awake, Short Stack?" he asked as he grabbed a banana from the bowl on the counter.
"I woke up at about 5:45 and I couldn't fall asleep. I'm sorry."
"Nothing to worry about. I just want you as well-rested for today as possible. You have your dress all ready? Know what shoes you're going to wear?"
"Jay," you whined. "I picked all of that out last night because you told me to."
"Just didn't want you to have to rush. I can turn the game back on for you so you can watch it until you have to start getting ready?"
You nodded and Jay came over and fiddled with the tv and the remote, going back to the middle of the first period where he thought you had fallen asleep.
"Okay, I'm gonna take a shower. Will said he'll be here around 7:45. Oh, and you can take that history test when you get back on Monday, in Miss Hedge's class."
You smiled. "Okay." Then, you turned your attention back to the hockey game.
***
You widened your eyes as you stood in the second bathroom getting ready. You had gotten dressed (into a navy blue, lacey dress that ended just above the knee that you had bought with Gabby a few days ago), washed your face, brushed your teeth, did your makeup, but now you were cursing yourself for being so stupid. You had no way of doing your hair. You didn't have a straightener here. And, your typical ponytail or bun wasn't going to cut it for court.
"Jay!" you yelled as you exited the bathroom and knocked on his bedroom door.
He opened it as he was tying his tie. "Yeah? Everything okay?"
"I don't have a straightener! I can't do my hair and if I wear my hair like I usually do then it will look bad on you and--"
"Hey, hey, calm down. We've still got over 45 minutes before we have to leave. I'll give Gabby a call and see if she's not on shift and can let you borrow hers."
You sighed the biggest sigh of relief. "Thank you."
Five minutes later, Jay knocked on the bathroom door as you were brushing your hair. "Gabby will be here in ten."
"Oh thank God."
***
"Thank you!" you exclaimed ten minutes later as you opened the door, revealing Gabby with her hair straightener. And, behind her, was Casey.
"No problem. Just tell me if you're not used to it and need help."
You took it from her. "No, I should be good. Thanks, though. C'mon in. I'm pretty sure Jay's around here somewhere."
They came into the apartment while you ran off to find Jay.
You knocked on his bedroom once more and he opened it, this time completely ready for the day. "Gabby and Casey are here," you told him.
"Casey's here?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Yeah. I think he just came with Gabby."
"Okay. Go fix your hair. I'll go talk to them."
Twenty minutes later, you were finished and slipping your shoes on when you heard a knock on the apartment door. "I got it, Y/N!" Jay yelled.
Well, I hoped you would because you're closer to the door than me, you thought to yourself.
Jay opened the door, and since it was exactly 7:45, he was expecting to just see Will. But, what he saw both shocked him and made him want to cry from appreciation at the same time.
Standing next to Will was Natalie and behind them was all of Intelligence and Trudy Platt and Mouch, all of Squad 3 and Truck 81 (minus Casey because he was inside), Sylvie Brett, Chief Boden, April, Maggie, Dr. Rhodes, Dr. Charles, Reese, and Noah.
"You're all here for the court case?" Jay asked, stunned.
"Well, Natalie has to testify about Y/N's deficiencies and weight loss, but yeah. It's better if the court sees that the person trying to get guardianship has a ton of support. So, I figured I'd call in reinforcements...even though I'm pretty sure my big personality is enough."
Jay rolled his eyes. "Your big ego maybe." He paused, not knowing how he was going to fit everyone in his apartment even if it was bigger than his last one. "However many of you guys can fit inside, can come in. Um, some of you might just need to meet us at the courthouse--"
"Jay, they just came now so you could see how many people were behind you. They're just gonna meet you there. Except for me. I'm driving you two." Jay furrowed his eyebrows. They didn't talk about this. "I'll explain later."
"Gabby," you said as you walked out of the bathroom. "Can you--" you stopped as you saw everyone outside Jay's apartment.
"They're all here for you and Jay," Gabby explained as she stood up. "And, you can't cry because it'll smear your makeup, so hold back the tears."
You nodded as you held them back. "Can you, uh, check the back of my hair to make sure I got it all straight?" you asked.
"Two spots are still a bit wavy. Let's go fix it so you can get going."
A few minutes later, Gabby had fixed your hair and everyone besides Will and Jay had left and were on their way to the courthouse. You slipped on a pair of black ballet flats and your coat.
Will had explained that the reason he was driving was that if Jay didn't get guardianship, he didn't want him driving in such a distressed state. Will had worked on so many patients who were in car accidents due to their emotional state and he didn't want Jay to be one of them.
"Ready?" Jay asked you.
"As ready as I'll ever be," you said as you wiped your sweaty palms on your dress.
"All you have to do is tell the truth."
***
You thought you'd be comfortable inside a courtroom because of the crime dramas you'd seen. But, standing inside one was very different from watching a fictional tv show.
No one but you, the judge, the court reporter, Peter Stone, and your dad's lawyer could be in the room for this next part, so everyone was either in a witness room or waiting outside in the hallway for the go-ahead to be let in. You would be allowed to be in the courtroom while they were talking to Jay and your dad, but they wouldn't be able to be in the room when you talked to the judge...for obvious reasons, such as influencing what you would say.
"All rise."
You stood up next to Stone as the judge, who you now knew as Judge Callahan, entered the room.
Once you sat down, you were called to the stand. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?" you were asked as you placed your hand on the Bible.
"I do," you answered.
"Alright, please allow Miss Halstead on the witness stand," Judge Callahan said. "Now, I'm just going to ask you a few questions. All you have to do is answer them. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand."
"Okay, first question: Has your father, Pat Halstead, ever hit you or physically abused you in any way?"
"No," you answered.
"Has he ever neglected to give you necessities, such as food, water, clothing, or shelter?"
"Yes."
"Can you please elaborate?"
You did. You explained how your dad never had food in the house and would yell at you and call you a burden if you tried to eat his leftovers.
"Is it true that your father tried to break into your brother's house to get you?" Judge Callahan asked.
"Yes."
"Who do you feel safest with?"
"My brother, Jay Halstead."
"Who would you prefer to live with?"
"Jay Halstead."
***
Jay sat on the witness stand. He had answered all of Stone's questions, including all of the questions about him finding you stealing, what you had been using for pads, and what he had been told that you had been eating at your dad's house. Natalie had testified about your physical well-being, weight loss, and iron and riboflavin deficiencies. But now, it was time for Jay's cross-examination. And, he sure as hell didn't expect this next question to be asked.
"Mr. Halstead," your dad's lawyer began, "you previously said, and I quote, that your dad clocked out on parenting you and your older brother, Will, when you were in your teens, around when you started high school. Can you elaborate on that?"
"Objection!" Stone yelled. "Relevance?"
"Speaks to a pattern."
"I'll allow it," Judge Callahan said. "Please answer the question, Mr. Halstead."
Jay nodded. "He clocked out on parenting me and Will because he said that were essentially grown men at this point in our lives, we didn't need him cheering us on or him helping us. He didn't come to a single one of my soccer games in high school. And, if by some miracle we went out for ice cream or something just me, my brother, and my dad, he wouldn't pay for ours. Said we were old enough to pay for ourselves.
"But, we had our mom. She came to all our games and school events. She made us breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If she wasn't there, I don't know what would've happened to me and Will. My dad didn't even want me to go into the military and didn't want Will to go to medical school. He said a real man went right to work. The only time I felt loved by him in all my teenage years was when I left for the military. It was like because he knew I might die over there that he figured he'd say he loved me one last time."
"Redirect, your honor," Stone said. Judge Callahan nodded at Stone. "You said that your mom made you and your brother lunch. Are you doing that for Y/N?"
"Objection! Relevance?"
"Speaks to Mr. Halstead's abilities as a parent."
"I'll allow it. Please answer the question."
"I actually do," Jay answered. "I make her a packed lunch to bring to school every day and I'm sure to add foods high in iron and riboflavin to help those levels stabilize quicker. The first time I packed her a lunch, she actually cried because she hadn't gotten a lunch from home in so long."
"Thank you."
"Mr. Halstead," your dad's lawyer started, "you were previously deployed overseas in Afghanistan for two tours of duty. While I thank you for your service, is it possible that you could have PTSD and hurt Y/N in the middle of the night?"
"I would never hurt her!"
"While you are fully conscious, maybe. But, while you are in a sleep-addled state, isn't it possible that you might think that the person waking you up is an enemy soldier and not your little sister?"
Jay sighed. No one knew this about him, not you, not Will, not his dad. No one. And now all of his family and closest friends were going to know since they were in the courtroom watching this entire thing unfold.
"I am on Prazosin for nightmares caused by my PTSD," Jay answered.
"And how long have you been on this medication?"
"For about two years."
"And this has helped you manage your nightmares?"
"Yes, very much so."
"No further questions."
***
"Jesus, Jay," Will said after you had watched your dad's testimony on why he should get to keep you. It was the usual: how he was your father, so, therefore, he deserved to keep taking care of you and it's what your mother would've wanted...despite her telling Jay to keep you safe before she died. They already had the responding officers testify about the break-in, so he couldn't deny that and he was under oath, so if anyone found out he lied, then your dad would be held in contempt.
"I'm sorry I never told you, man," Jay said. "I just, I thought of it as weak that I couldn't deal with my own shit." He grimaced when he realized he had sworn around you. "Sorry, Y/N."
"It's okay. I hear that stuff at school."
"I'm just upset you didn't tell me they were getting that bad, Jay," Will lamented. "I know I wasn't there for you a lot after Mom died, but I'm here now."
Jay nodded, and Will knew he didn't want to talk about the topic anymore. You looked through the little window into the courtroom and saw that the judge was coming back from her chambers.
"Guys, I think she's made a decision," you said nervously.
"Whatever happens, me and Jay will be there for you," Will promised.
All you could do at this point was nod, as a lump was forming in your throat from all your nerves.
Jay led you back into the courtroom and you sat at the front, between Jay and Will. You wiped your sweaty palms on your dress and Jay gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
Judge Callahan stood up.
"By using the child's best interest standard of who can provide food, clothing, housing, education, medical care, and a stable home life for Y/N Halstead, I declare Mr. Jay Halstead the legal guardian of Y/N Halstead."
You could've sworn that you stopped breathing the second she said Jay's first name. You were so overwhelmed that you just turned to him and started crying as he wrapped an arm around you while he listened to the judge state your dad's visitation rights.
But, you didn't hear any of that. The only phrase that kept repeating in your head was I declare Mr. Jay Halstead the legal guardian of Y/N Halstead over and over again.
Now, you knew that you'd always have the necessities when you lived with Jay. You wouldn't have to worry about where your next meal was going to come from or if your dad would be out until 3 am drinking. You wouldn't have to worry about having access to tampons or pads and not be embarrassed anymore to ask for some from school if you forgot to put any in your backpack that day. But most of all, you knew that you would be loved and cared for.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Did I make anyone cry with this one??? The blood draw scenario was actually based on when I had to go and get my blood drawn the other day and thought I was going to pass out, which is why that scene was so long. Anyway, thank you again for reading, and please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!
Seasons of PD: Season 7: Don’t You Ever Do That Again, You Hear Me? (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)
A/N: There are mentions of B1ack Liv3s M4tter (apparently this ended up in that tag, so I changed the wording, so hopefully it’s not there anymore) in regards to peaceful protests in this. And there are mentions of counter-protesters causing riots. I tried my best to portray this as professionally as possible with Y/N's views, Kevin's views, and Jay's views. I did not try to offend anyone at all and I'm very sorry if I did.
Also, I don't know if one part counts as threat of sexual coercion, but I'm fairly certain that's what it's called, so trigger warning for that.
Your age: 18
Jay's age: 32
Will's age: 34
"I get that it's important to you, but I'm not letting you go!" Jay argued as you stood across from him in a screaming match.
"Why? Because You don't believe the same things as me because you haven't met a bad cop? Because you fought for this country and know people who died for it?" you yelled back.
"Yes, me being a cop and a soldier obviously has something to do with this! But I'm also trying to keep you safe! They turn into riots!"
"You do know that's not the Black Lives Matter protesters who start them, right? They're peaceful. Counter-protesting assholes come and start things to give peaceful protesters a bad image!"
"I don't want you to get hurt if something happens! Tear gas hurts, kid. I don't want you to come home with burning eyes and the possibility of going blind and tell me I'm right. I'm trying to prevent that!"
"I know you are, Jay! I just want you to let me have my own damn opinions and do what I want for once!"
"Has a cop ever hurt you in some way? Pulled you over illegally?" Jay roared.
You wanted to tell him your story about something like that that had happened five weeks ago, two weeks after the infection scare across the entire city, but you couldn't because you knew he'd do something stupid and you didn't want that. "No, but--"
His phone rang, cutting you off. "I'll be there," Jay said quickly. Then, he turned back to you. "I gotta go, caught a case. I'll see you later and we can talk about this. Calmly."
"So, you're saying there's a chance you'll let me go?"
"There's maybe a .001% chance, but sure, believe what you want."
You rolled your eyes and he left. But, as he shut and locked the apartment door, he stopped. "Love you," he whispered. Because, with what he did on the job, he knew that there was the possibility every day of him not coming home to you.
***
When you woke up, you were shocked not to see a text from Jay between 3 and 5 am saying that he wouldn't make it home tonight. He usually made it a priority when on a case to tell you that he wouldn't be coming home so that you wouldn't worry.
But, there was a voicemail from him around 11 pm last night and it was currently 9 am.
You put your phone on speaker and played it.
"Hey, Y/N, I'm sorry about arguing. If you really want to go, I think Kevin has his RDO tomorrow so I can see if he's going if you-- OW!" Then, the line just continued playing, and dragging noises were heard until there was a crash and the line went dead.
"Jay? Jay?" What the hell had happened? You quickly replayed the message to make sure it wasn't an issue with your phone, but when you heard the same exact thing again, you knew something had gone terribly wrong.
You went to dial Hailey's number to ask if she had seen Jay when there was a loud knock on your door. You quickly ran across the apartment and looked out the peephole. You saw Hailey and Adam and quickly flung open the door.
"Hey, Y/N," Adam said as he entered.
"Have you guys seen Jay?" you asked.
You saw Hailey visibly swallow. "Listen," she started, but you cut her off.
"What happened? What's going on? He usually texts me if he's going to be working until the morning and I didn't get a text and I got a voicemail and--" You took a deep, gasping breath.
"What voicemail?" Hailey asked as she placed a hand on your shoulder.
"I- It cut off partway through and he yelled and-- wait, he wasn't with you?"
"No," Hailey answered. "He said he had some personal stuff to take care of when we were at a scene and then took off. Then, he never came back, so we decided to check here to see if he just came home or something happened."
"He never came home." Your eyes widened, finally processing what it meant if he wasn't here and Intelligence couldn't find him. "You're telling me he's missing? Again? Oh, no. This can't be happening, not again. Not after our fight last night. I didn't even tell him what happened or that I loved him or--"
"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath," Hailey told you and you tried to match her breathing. "His radio might just be dead or something like that." She knew that she was lying, but she was trying to stop you from freaking out. "Can you give me your phone so Adam and I can listen to the voicemail?"
You nodded and handed Adam your phone. He pressed play and you watched as his jaw clenched as he was listening to it.
"Shit," he muttered once he was done. "We need you to come to the district with us. Just for safety."
"Can you give me a minute?" you asked. "I- I'm in my pajamas and I haven't brushed my teeth and--"
"We'll leave in half an hour, okay?" Hailey asked and you nodded. "While you're getting ready, we'll send the voicemail over to Kim and Kev. Jay's gonna be okay."
"How do you know that?" you almost whispered.
"Because Jay's one of the strongest people I know," she answered. But, in reality, she wasn't sure about that. They had no idea where he was and according to the timestamp on that voicemail, it had been a little over ten hours since he sent it. For all they knew, Jay could be out of Chicago right now. Scratch that, he could be out of Illinois.
***
"When did you get this voicemail?" Hank asked as everyone in Intelligence, minus Jay but including you, were in the bullpen and trying to trace where the call came from.
"Around 11 last night, Boss," Adam answered for you.
"Okay. So it's been almost 11 hours," Voight said.
"I need a break, excuse me," you said and quickly excused yourself to the locker room.
You made your way to the locker room and sat down and leaned against the wall. This couldn't be happening again, not after that crazy borderline sociopathic drug dealer kidnapped Jay a few years ago and Erin went in and saved him. This could not be happening again.
You thought back to the fight last night and something your mom would always say when she was in a fight with one of the boys or when you had thrown a temper tantrum and then had to go to bed.
I'll always tell you I love you because when you walk out that door or go to bed, I'll never know if that was the last chance I had to tell you I love you.
God, if you hadn't argued with Jay, maybe you wouldn't be feeling this way. Obviously, you'd be feeling scared and upset because Jay was missing and no one had any idea where he was, but at least you wouldn't feel guilty like you currently did.
You felt guilty about starting that fight in the first place by bringing it up even though you knew what his answer was going to be. You felt guilty about yelling. But most of all, you felt guilty and you regretted not saying love you when he left...because that might've been the last time you'd have been able to tell that to your big brother who had always been there for you...even when he really didn't want to.
Jay's Nokia flip phone buzzed as he walked out of school. It was his mom.
"Hey, Mom," he greeted.
"Jay Halstead, if you answered your phone while you're driving..." she trailed off, trying to think of a good threat.
"Mom, I didn't. I was talking to some friends about going for tacos tonight, so I just walked out of school a minute ago."
"Oh," she said.
"What oh?" Jay asked. "That sounded like a bad oh, Mom."
"Well, I wish I would've known that before a professor called in sick to give an exam to his students and I agreed to pick up the extra hours."
"What are you talking about?"
"I can't bring Y/N to the dentist. And I thought since you weren't busy, you could. I also may or not have promised her that she could go to Build-A-Bear after to get a new outfit for Beary because she's so scared."
"Mom," Jay groaned.
"I know, I'm sorry. But, how about this: you do this for me, and I'll extend your curfew by two hours on Friday and Saturday."
"Three," Jay countered.
"Two." Amelia Halstead stood strong.
"Three."
"Two and a half."
"Deal," Jay agreed.
"Thank you. I'll see you tonight. Love you."
"Love you, too."
***
"No," you whined as Jay told you that you had to leave after he walked you home from school later. "I don't wanna go to the dentist. They scary."
"No, they're not," Jay told you. The doctor was what was scary for him with all the needles for the shots. But, the dentist had never bothered him, even when he was a little kid it had never bothered him.
"No!"
"What if I let you bring Beary into the dentist, would you go then?" Jay practically pleaded.
"And you give me chocolate before we leave?"
"If you promise to grab your toothbrush and brush your teeth in the bathroom at the dentist, then yes, I'll give you some chocolate to eat on the way there." Jay was desperate at this point. He knew he shouldn't be giving you everything you wanted, but what were big brothers with a giant age gap for anyway if not to try and spoil his little sister?
"Okay!" You ran off to go grab Beary and your toothbrush and toothpaste while Jay made his way to a high cabinet in the kitchen and grabbed five squares of Dove milk chocolate, three for you and two for him.
In the car, Jay handed you the cholates and you started eating them while you held Beary close to you, trying to gain some comfort out of your favorite stuffed animal.
***
You gripped Jay's hand as you sat and waited for your name to be called. Beary was held in your other hand and you were squeezing him tight against your chest. You had just brushed your teeth like you promised Jay that you would, but you were still utterly terrified.
"Y/N Halstead?" a dental hygienist came out and asked.
You didn't say a word, just held Jay's hand tighter.
"That's you," Jay said gently and with a smile on his face, trying to make you feel less scared.
"No, not me," you told him as you frantically shook your head.
The dental hygienist squatted down in front of you. "Are you Y/N?" You didn't do anything, but Jay must've nodded to confirm that it was indeed you. "And who's this?" she asked as she shook Beary's paw.
"Beary," you said shyly.
"Well, I'm fairly certain that Beary will be with you the entire time. We even have little sunglasses you and he can wear when we shine the really bright light on you to protect both your little eyes. Does that sound good?"
You turned to Jay. "Me and Beary get sunglasses, Jay Jay!"
"I heard! Do you want me to come back with you?"
You thought for a second. "Please come."
Jay laughed. "Okay." He turned to the dental hygienist. "Is that okay?"
"Perfectly fine."
You stood up and held Jay's hand as you walked back into the dentist to get your six-month check-up on your baby teeth.
***
"That wasn't so bad was it?" Jay asked as the two of you walked out to his car after you finished.
"No!" you said as you shook your head. "I even got a pretty bracelet with Belle on it, see?" you exclaimed as you held your hand out to him to show off your yellow bracelet with a charm that had Belle from Beauty and the Beast on it.
Jay acted all surprised and said it was pretty even though he watched as you had picked it out while he had explained to the secretary how your mom would call to schedule your next appointment in six months.
Jay opened his car and made sure you were buckled in and then got in himself and started driving.
"Do you know where we're going?"
You gasped. You had forgotten you got to go to Build-A-Bear after!
"Build-A-Bear!" you yelled. The volume of that yell would've made Jay wince had he not been driving.
"Yup, that's where we're going."
"I think I'm gonna get Beary some new pajamas," you decided.
"What color?"
You held Beary out in front of you. "What color pjs do you want, Beary?" You brought him up to your ear and nodded as he "told" you what color pajamas he wants. "He said blue!"
"Blue pajamas. I'm pretty sure we can find those."
***
Jay and you walked into Build-A-Bear Workshop at the mall and you were met with children running around. To Jay, this was the definition of hell. Except for you, he was fine with you running around, but he really didn't like all the other kids that he had to be careful not to bump into.
"C'mon, Jay Jay!" you told him as you tugged him along to the pajama section.
He allowed himself to be tugged along by you and then you held up almost every single pair of blue pajamas to Beary to see which one was his favorite. He had decided on a pair of light blue pajamas with stars all over them. There was even a cute little hat with a pom-pom on top to go with the pajamas.
Jay paid and then you left with Beary and his brand-new pajamas. You had plans to have him sleep in those pajamas tonight, too.
Unbeknownst to you, Jay hadn't even really wanted to come. The only reason he brought you was that he got his curfew extended. But to you, it was just another fun afternoon with your big brother.
You were startled out of your daydream when you felt a hand on your shoulder. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
Kevin.
"It's fine. I'm fine," you said quickly.
"No, you're not. And that's okay. Hailey and Voight went to see if Jay's where his phone pinged at."
"We fought," you told him.
"You fought?" Kevin asked as he slid down the wall to sit next to you.
"It was stupid. I should've just agreed with him and maybe I wouldn't be feeling like this."
"Like what?"
"Like utter shit." You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. "We were arguing about the BLM protests that were happening tonight. I wanted to go, but he wouldn't let me. The last thing I did was roll my eyes at him, Kev."
The two of you sat in silence for a few moments while Kevin figured out how to comfort you.
"Maybe talking about it will help. What'd you argue about?"
"Just that I wanted to go and he wouldn't let me because he thinks riots will break out. And you and I both know that's not the BLM protesters, that's the counter-protesters. But, he thinks I'll get hurt. I also think it's because he's a cop, so he feels like I'm protesting him, but I'm not. I'm protesting the system."
Kevin nodded. "I get it. Believe me, I do. I live it every day."
"How do you do it?" you asked. "Be an activist and a cop at the same time?"
"Just try and do the right thing with the information you have. And, explain that you're protesting the system and the bad apples, not the police force as a whole."
"I tried. But Jay doesn't think I have a right to protest because I've never had a bad experience with a cop." Which was a lie, but you weren't ready to talk about that just yet.
"Did he say that exactly?" Kevin asked.
"No, but, he asked me if a cop has ever illegally pulled me over."
Kevin nodded. "I know Jay and I know he would never say that you didn't have the right protest. He fought for that right. He mention anything else?"
"That tear gas hurts."
"I think he just wanted to keep you safe, same thing I'd do for Jordan and Vanessa."
"He sounded like he changed his mind on his voicemail, though. He thought that maybe if you were going, then he'd let me go...at least, that's what it sounded like."
Kevin nodded. "All I can say is that until we found Jay, I'm not going to one. Getting your brother is my first priority and it's the first priority of everyone in this unit."
"My first priority, too."
"Kev!" Adam yelled as he banged on the door. "You in there?"
"Yeah, bro! What's up?" Kevin asked.
"We need you to meet with someone!"
***
The hours passed and with each of them that did, you got more and more nervous for Jay's safety. You guessed that this is how he felt when you asked if you could go to the protest, knowing that he'd constantly be worrying about you until you came home safely.
"Y/N, we gotta go," Trudy said as she entered the bullpen around 9:30 pm that night.
"Why? What's going on?" you asked as you grabbed your phone and started following her.
"They found Jay."
"Is he okay?" you asked quickly.
"Y/N..."
"No! He can't be dead, Trudy! He can't!" you wailed.
"He's not. But, he has been shot."
You froze. Shot. Jay had been shot.
"He's en route to Chicago Med right now."
"Can you- can you bring me there?"
"That's where we're going right now."
***
"Will!" you yelled as you ran into the ED and saw your oldest brother.
You ran right up to him and hugged him, not caring that he almost dropped his iPad he had been using to chart.
"Whoa, Y/N." He set the iPad down. "Hey, I know. But Crockett's operating on him right now and he's one of the best surgeons in the hospital."
"I thought you were better than him. You need to do the surgery, Will. you need to save Jay!"
"Y/N, I know it sucks, but I'm family. As much as I want to operate on him, I can't legally do that."
You paused and looked up at him. His eyes were slightly red, but he hadn't been bawling the way that you had been.
"Dr. Halstead! Incoming!" Maggie yelled.
"What does she mean?" you asked, still hanging onto him. "You're still working?"
"There's been a ten-car pile-up on the highway. I have to. It's my job."
"But Jay's in surgery!" you yelled as you pulled away from him. "These people are more important to you than your own brother?"
"They aren't but--"
"But you're working anyway instead of waiting to find out what happens to him?"
"I can't do anything to help Jay right now. But I can help all these people who are pouring in."
"Dr. Halstead!" Maggie shouted again.
"I'll be up in a few hours, I promise," Will told you.
***
A few hours had passed and it was now past midnight. Jay was still in surgery. Will was sitting next to you, in a spare pair of clothes he had packed instead of his scrubs that were covered in blood, and you were leaning your head on his shoulder, close to being asleep.
That was until Crockett came out and Will jumped up, causing your head to hit the back of the chair.
"Ow," you mumbled.
"Sorry," Will apologized and then turned back to Crockett. "What's the verdict?"
"He lost a lot of blood," Crockett told the two of you.
"But he's gonna pull through, right?" Will asked what the two of you were both thinking.
"We'll be out of blood soon."
"What do you mean out of blood?" Will asked, taking a step toward the surgeon. "There's no way you can be out of blood!"
"With that pile-up, we can. I'd recommend you go and say your goodbyes and pray for a miracle."
Will put his hands on the back of his head and started pacing the room. Your breath caught in your throat. This could not be happening. Jay couldn't die, he just couldn't.
Crockett started to walk back towards the operating room.
"Wait!" you yelled. You didn't know what had taken over you, but at this moment, you'd do anything to save your brother. You rolled up your sleeve. "Take my blood."
"Y/N," was all Will could manage to get out.
"I'm sorry, Y/N, but there's protocol for that. I'd love to let you do it, but--"
"Fuck protocol!" you yelled, all the anger and sadness and anxiety that had built up over the past fifteen hours exploding at this very moment. "Rush my labs. Or don't even get my labs done at all. I haven't had sex, so I don't have any STDs. I don't have any diseases or deficiencies since I moved in with Jay years ago. My blood type's O-neg, so I'm a universal donor. Take my goddamn blood, Crockett!" You didn't care that all that information was out in the open because you were barely processing what you were saying. The only thing you cared about was making sure that your brother was okay.
"Y/N," Will said as he walked up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder.
"Don't touch me! And you sure as hell don't want to tell me to calm down!"
"Y/N," Will started again as he took his hand off your shoulder. "What Crockett's saying is that it's not ethical for him to do this. He could get fired."
"Where's the paperwork?" you asked as you turned back to Crockett. "I'll sign whatever I have to sign to make sure you aren't liable at all, that I'm donating this of my own free will. You can even take double the amount of blood that you normally do since I'm a universal donor. Just get me the paperwork."
Crockett and Will shared a look.
"I'll go get a nurse to get you the paperwork."
"Wait, no, no, no," Will said as he walked closer to Crockett. "You can't be serious about this!"
"She said she'll sign it."
"But, I have to co-sign it since she's a minor. So, no, you are not donating blood, Y/N. You almost passed out when I drew vials of your blood years ago. You know what's gonna happen if we take two units of blood? You are gonna feel like utter shit."
"Last I checked, I'm 18, so I can sign my own paperwork! God, I'm not a fucking child anymore, Will! I can make my own decisions!" you yelled back. "And if I don't do this, Jay will die. He'll die, Will. So, I'm giving him my blood with or without your support."
***
You sat in a chair, the ones that Will had told you about years ago with the big padded bar thing that came down in front of you in case you passed out. Typically, they'd just have you lay down in a bed, but since they were short on beds and Will told them that you had a history of getting dizzy and nauseous during simple blood draws, they had decided to put you here instead.
"Last chance to back out," Will told you as the nurse tied off your arm with a blue rubber tie and started to rub your arm to get the big vein in your left forearm to show.
"Jay's dying. No way in hell am I backing out."
Will sighed. He knew you were doing the right thing, but he also knew that you were going to feel terrible after, and he hated seeing you like that. "Okay," he said. "I'll stay here until they get the needle in you and then I'll get you some juice and cookies."
"Ready?" Monique asked.
"Ready," you confirmed. You turned to Will and squeezed your eyes shut as the needle pierced your vein. You heard the sound of the machine and knew your blood was going in there, but you didn't want to look. Getting your blood drawn, you could watch. But this, this was just too much blood to see, so you looked at Will.
"Doing okay?" he asked a few minutes later.
"Yeah," you answered because that was the absolute truth: you were feeling just fine.
"Okay, I'm gonna go get you some cookies and juice. I'll get an update on Jay while I'm out there, too."
You nodded and he left the room.
This wasn't so bad.
***
Okay, so you were lying to yourself. You were currently in hell. Giving the blood hadn't been an issue, it was how you felt after you were done giving blood.
You were currently sitting in that same chair, drinking some juice that Will had brought you. He told you that there was still no update on Jay, but that they were sending the blood back to him right now. (They had rushed labs on a small vial of blood that Monique took before you started the donation. The results came back while you were giving blood, and since your blood was clean, you could give it to Jay.) But, God, but you felt absolutely awful.
"You doing okay?" Will asked.
You shook your head and then stopped because it made you dizzy and put your head in your hands. "No," you groaned.
He handed you a glass of water. "Drink a bit of this too and then I'll open your pack of cookies."
"Why do you want me to drink water and not juice?" you asked as you closed your eyes and tried to stop the spinning in your head.
"Because, you're sweating, Short Stack. Need you to stay hydrated."
You took a few sips of water and then went back to your juice. Will handed you your pack of chocolate chip cookies and you started to eat them.
"Mhm," you groaned and laid your head down on the padded bar thing in front of you that kept you from falling out of the chair. "I don't feel so good."
You felt hot and cold at the same time and the world seemed to spin every time you lifted your head up. And, those cookies did not sit well with you.
"How do you feel? What hurts?" Will asked, jumping into doctor mode since Monique wasn't around. Will assured her that he could look after you while you recovered from your blood being donated at twice the normal amount.
"I just feel like shit," you told him, not picking up your head.
"You gotta give me some symptoms. Give me some symptoms and then I can help."
"Mhm, fine." You looked up at him and blinked slowly. "I feel hot and cold and sweaty. And I feel dizzy and nauseous."
"Okay. That's either a vasovagal reaction or from your blood pressure being low or from your heart rate being slowed down."
"What's that reaction thingy?"
"You don't like blood in general, so a nervous system response can happen, which could explain your reactions. But, your BP could also be low, which could explain all this too. And, it's one in the morning and you haven't slept yet, so tiredness could also be a factor."
"Great," you said sarcastically as you remembered the last time your blood pressure was low.
You had taken some of Jay's medication that he had to ward off his PTSD-induced nightmares after you were involved in a shooting at a house party. The one time you took them without sleeping directly after, you felt almost exactly like this...except without the sweatiness. You just mostly felt dizzy. You had called Will, he came over, and then you ended passing out and he had to get you to Med. Then you were admitted and they got your pressure back up. You were also prescribed sleeping pills which had helped immensely.
Will grabbed a blood pressure cuff from a drawer. "Arm," he told you. You held out your arm and he wrapped the cuff around it and pumped the end of it.
You waited as he looked at the gauge on the blood pressure cuff. Will said one number over another number, which meant nothing to you, but must've meant something to him. You raised your eyebrows, hoping he was going to tell you what those numbers meant in non-medical English terms.
"BP's low, which explains most of the symptoms," he told you.
You took another bite of your cookie and washed it down with some juice, but then immediately after started dry heaving.
Will rushed around and then thrust a pink basin under your mouth.
You took a deep breath after you finally stopped dry heaving about thirty seconds later.
"Better?" Will asked. You shook your head. "I'm going to get you an IV of anti-nausea medication."
You were going to argue with him about how he wasn't working, so he probably couldn't get you that. And, you were fairly certain he couldn't prescribe things to family. But, you felt terrible, so you really don't care if Will was being reckless and borderline unethical/illegal right now.
You nodded and then laid your head back down.
When Will came back, he thought you were asleep, but when you heard footsteps, you looked up.
"Alright," he began as he assembled the IV. "Last poke of the day, I promise."
"After this can I take a nap in the on-call room?" you asked as you held your arm out to him once again.
"You know I can't let you do that." Will tied a blue band around your arm and started rubbing it to get a vein in the inside of your elbow. Then, he noticed your pale and sweaty face. "Fine. Hopefully, Goodwin won't fire me after this. But I have a good reason. Turn so you don't see the needle."
You did and closed your eyes. You felt the poke and squeezed your eyes shut, but then it subsided and you felt that weird feeling of the medicine going straight into your veins. God, you hoped this worked.
You hoped Jay would survive because you didn't just go through all that for nothing.
***
You slowly opened your eyes as you felt someone shaking your shoulder. "No," you groaned as you turned to face the other side of the bed.
But then you remembered where you were: the doctors on-call room because Jay had been shot. Maybe it was Will waking you up to tell you--
"Short Stack, wake up. Jay's awake."
That got you wide awake.
You snapped your eyes open, rolled over, and jumped out of bed.
"I take it you're feeling better?" Will asked.
"Sleep helps. Let's go!"
Will quickly led you out of the room and through some hallways and up a few flights of stairs to Jay's recovery room.
He was currently talking to Hailey.
"Jay!" you exclaimed as you burst into the room to see him with a sling and see Hailey helping him with his jacket.
"Hey, Short Stack," he greeted and then turned his attention back to Hailey. "Sorry, what were you saying?"
"Uh, just that I'm glad you're back," she told him. "I'll give you some time with your siblings." She turned her attention to Will. "Oh, and the things you told me to tell Kim to get are in that corner." She pointed to the left front corner of the room. "Bye, guys." She waved and then left.
You gave Jay a huge hug and tried to avoid his arm that was in a sling. "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?" you told him seriously and then looked up at him with tears in your eyes.
Jay chuckled. "I'll try not to."
"You better do more than try." You went back to leaning your head against his chest as tears soaked his t-shirt.
"I was so scared. The last thing we would've done was argue. I'm so sorry. I should never have asked to go to those protests. I know you were just trying to protect me--"
"Hey, it's okay for you to have your own opinions and views. It's just gonna take me a while to get used to you being an adult now and not that little sister who would always hold my hand and beg to go to Build-A-Bear."
"Speaking of Build-A-Bear," Will started and then walked over to the corner of the room and picked up two boxes. They were white boxes with dark blue designs on them. You knew those boxes: they were what the workers put new bears in when a kid came and bought one. You let go of Jay. Will peeked into one of the holes. "This one's for you." He handed Jay a box. "And this one's for you." He handed you the other box.
"You got us Build-A-Bears?" you asked as you raised an eyebrow.
"Just open the boxes."
You did and laughed when you saw Beary in the box, dressed in a hospital gown and white little bunny slippers. Your brothers were not kidding when they said they'd get one for you.
Jay laughed as he opened his. His Build-A-Bear was a light blue color and it also had on a hospital gown as well as a sling on one arm. The bear also had on a policeman cap. "Oh, man," Jay said as he continued laughing.
"Press the right paw," Will told him and he did, causing Ruzek's voice to float through the room.
Stop getting kidnapped. Glad you're okay, though.
You started laughing hysterically at this point.
"One more thing," Will said as he walked over to the counter and pulled out a marker and two hospital bracelets. On one he wrote Beary Halstead. "Jay, what are you naming your bear?" Will asked.
"I gotta name it?"
"Um, it's not an it. It's a he or a she...could be a they, too," you said.
"Fine. I gotta name him?"
"Yes," Will told him.
Jay groaned. "Fine. Blue."
"Boo! That's boring," you said.
He groaned again. "Detective Blue. There. Better?"
"Better," you confirmed.
Will wrote Det. Blue Halstead on the other hospital band. Then, he handed Beary's to you and Detective Blue's to Jay.
"I cannot believe you," Jay said.
"I can," Will laughed. "Now put it on him. Just like Y/N's doing with Beary."
Jay reluctantly put it on Detective Blue's arm. But then he realized something. "Wait, why does Beary have a hospital gown if Y/N wasn't in the hospital?"
"Yeah, about that..." you trailed off.
Jay cocked his head to the side. "What did you do this time?"
"Other than save your life, I got nauseous and Will had to give me anti-nausea medication," you explained.
"Wait, back up. You saved my life? How?" Jay asked as he looked between you and Will.
"She essentially cussed at Crockett until she got what she wanted," Will said nonchalantly.
"Which was...?" Jay pried.
"Giving you blood because the hospital was out because of a car accident. If she wouldn't have given you blood..." Will trailed off, not wanting to say the words.
"I'd be dead," Jay practically whispered.
"Yeah," Will confirmed, his voice at about the same volume as Jay's.
Jay felt himself getting choked up as he pulled you in for another hug. "Thank you."
"I know you'd do the same for me."
"In a heartbeat, Short Stack. In a heartbeat."
You stayed like that until Will went ahead and broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over the three of you.
"I hate to break this up, but there's something else I need to tell you guys," Will said.
You and Jay both turned to him and you let yourself out of Jay's embrace. "Which is?" you asked.
"Voight gave Jay two weeks furlough to recover and I talked Goodwin into giving me two weeks vacation--"
"How in the hell did you do that?" Jay asked.
"Let's just say I'm going to be working Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and New Year's Day. But that's beside the point. We have two weeks of vacation time."
"You do know I work right?" you asked.
"At a coffee shop, not at a big kid job," Will said. "And, I had Kim and Adam stop in there on their way to get the bears. They explained the situation and your work gave you two weeks off. Adam said he may have had to flash his badge, but that's beside the point."
"And you took vacation because...?" you asked.
"We need to make sure Jay relaxes and there's so many protests-turned-riots happening right now that we should probably get out of here."
"You do know it's not the peaceful protesters starting those, right? It's counter-protesters and other people who are racist bigots and people who decided they have no other choice but to be violent," you said, making your views known once again.
"I'm very much aware, Y/N. But, no matter who started it, people were running from tear gas and burning buildings last night."
"Alright, back on topic," Jay started, not wanting to have another argument like he had two days ago with you. "Where are we going?"
"I figured Wisconsin would be a good choice."
***
"It's my turn to pick the music," you whined as Will looked for another song on your long drive to Wisconsin.
"I'm the oldest, so I get control of it," Will argued.
"No, you've controlled it for the last three hours. I've had to listen to nineties hip-hop for that long. My eardrums are gonna bleed. Please make him give the aux, Jay."
"Dude, just give her the aux, and then she'll be quiet. Remember, she likes early 2000s pop-punk and 2000s stuff in general. We'll probably know most of it."
Will reluctantly handed you the aux. "Thank you. And, just to remind you two, I'm a big fan of Taylor Swift's first few albums and 5 Seconds of Summer."
You clicked play on Take What You Want by One OK Rock featuring 5 Seconds of Summer. You queued up some more songs by 5 Seconds of Summer and two by Taylor Swift, just to mess with your brothers, and then you added songs they would know like All the Small Things by Blink-182, Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings, Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low, and Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard.
By the time Dear Maria, Count Me In started playing, all three of you were jamming out, which caused Jay to forget to put his blinker on when he changed lanes...and there was a cop right there in the emergency turnaround.
Jay heard and saw the sirens behind him and slowed down. He knew the drill from pulling people over on his days on patrol. Now that he was in Intelligence, he practically just ripped the criminals out of their cars and handcuffed them against the side of their (usually stolen) car.
He got out his license and registration, along with his badge because he did have his service weapon with him. He'd be damned not bringing it with him in this day and age...and sometimes there were coyotes and he and Will didn't know if the old hunting rifle at the cabin that your grandpa used to use even had ammunition in and if there was even any ammunition at the cabin.
Jay rolled down his window as the officer walked up to him.
Your hands started to sweat and your heart started to race as you remembered your last encounter with an officer that you didn't know.
You were driving home from the library late at night after studying for a biology exam. And no, the library wasn't an excuse for going out and partying. You genuinely had gone to the library and had had a great and very focused study session for a few hours.
All of a sudden, you saw flashing lights and heard sirens. You turned down your music. You looked in your rear-view mirror and saw that the cop was right on your tail. He turned off his sirens and then turned them on and off quickly.
You were the one getting pulled over.
You pulled off to the side of the road and then rolled down your window.
"License and registration," the officer told you. He looked young, maybe a rookie.
"What's the problem officer?" you asked. Jay always told you that you had a right to know why you had been pulled over.
"You were going three miles over the speed limit, did you know that?"
"I don't recall how fast I was driving." Jay always told you never to admit to speeding because then you could fight the ticket if you ended up getting one.
"License and registration, please," he repeated.
"Reaching into my glove compartment and moving some CDs to get my registration," you narrated and then handed the registration to the officer. "Reaching over to my passenger seat to grab my purse which has my license in it...unzipping my purse...reaching in for my license." You handed him your license.
He ran your information and then came back to the window. "I'm sorry, Miss, but I have to give you a ticket."
You furrowed your eyebrows. For three miles over the speed limit? No fucking way was this happening.
"Uh," was all you could say.
"But, there is something you can do to get out of this ticket. You help me out, I help you out."
"I- I don't understand," you stuttered.
He looked down and you followed where he was looking and cupping himself with the hand that wasn't holding your license and registration.
"I- I..."
"Or I can just up this speeding ticket to going twenty miles over it. Say there was an open container in the car, too," he said.
You had no idea what to say. You couldn't risk getting your insurance upped and getting a minor in possession charge. You'd never be allowed to drive again!
But, there's no way you'd do this. You couldn't. But he was so much bigger than you that he could hold you down with one hand tied behind his back.
He placed his hand on the door handle. "You have three seconds to make your decision. One...Two..."
"My brother's Jay Halstead! Badge number 51163! His Sergeant's Hank Voight!" Your voice trembled as you yelled that and you were close to tears.
He looked back down at your license. It did say Y/N Halstead on it. He handed you back your license and registration. "Have a nice night."
Then, he walked back to his patrol car, got in, turned off the sirens, and drove off. You were so scared that you didn't even look to see what his last name or badge number was.
Once you had stayed pulled over for a good couple of minutes to make sure that the cop was nowhere in sight, you started driving again. You stopped at a drive-thru and got yourself a chocolate flurry with Oreos. Then, you sat in the parking lot with your hands still shaking and your heart still racing as you ate and started to cry. You cried for almost half an hour and waited there for another fifteen minutes so your eyes wouldn't be as puffy when you got home because you didn't want Jay asking questions.
"Y/N, you good?" Jay asked, taking you out of your thoughts.
"Yeah, yeah," you said quickly...almost too quickly. "Why?"
"Will just asked if you wanted to go back because we missed a song and you didn't answer."
"Yeah, I can do that." You quickly went back to the previous song and tried to sing with as much happiness as you did previously. But, you didn't get the image of that night or the feeling of dread out of your stomach for another hour.
***
You woke up the next morning very well-rested. The boys had taken the loft and the two twin beds that were up there and you got to take your mom and dad's old room because you were the only girl, so they said it was only fair that you got the bedroom.
You heard the dripping of water and got out of bed and then padded down the hall and to the kitchen. Jay was standing there in pajama pants and a t-shirt. (Thank God he wasn't shirtless for once in the morning. Your brothers really needed to learn how to put shirts on when they walked out of their rooms in the morning...and maybe by you telling them to put a shirt on all the time, you training them had finally paid off.) He drummed his fingers on the counter while he waited for the coffee to be done.
"Morning," you said.
He turned around. "Good morning. Shocked you're awake. It's only 8 am."
"And I'm shocked you haven't been up for two hours," you retorted.
"Oh, I've been up for an hour, just been reading upstairs. Will's not up yet, though."
"He always sleeps late when he doesn't have to work though, doesn't he?"
"Pretty much. We've made breakfast plans before and he's missed them because he was sleeping."
The timer went off on the coffee pot, alerting you that it was finished. Jay started to pour his in a tumbler. He held out a tumbler to you. You raised an eyebrow, silently wondering why he wasn't pouring it into a mug.
"I was gonna go for a morning canoe ride. You can come along if you want. Wouldn't want hot coffee spilling all over us," he told you.
"Did you bring creamer?" you asked.
"Irish cream creamer, just for you."
You reached into the fridge and grabbed the creamer.
"So, canoe ride?" Jay asked.
"Sure."
He poured coffee into a tumbler for you and then slid it to you to put your desired amount of creamer in.
***
Twenty minutes later, you were starting out in the canoe. You told Jay there was no way in hell that you'd be doing the rowing. He told you that he could only row with one arm because of his sling, so you'd have to do the other side. Skeptically, you started rowing. Jay told you that you'd be fine, just to follow his instructions.
Fifteen minutes later, when you were out in the middle of the lake, facing the forests of Wisconsin, he stopped.
"Why'd you stop?" you asked.
He picked up his tumbler of coffee off the floor of the canoe. "We need to talk."
"About what?" you asked as you picked up yours as well and held it with both hands.
"About your reaction last night when I got pulled over. You freaked. I need to know why."
"I- I didn't freak. I was just tired," you lied.
"You had quite the amount of energy right before that," he quipped.
"It's nothing."
"Y/N, I'm not letting this go. Is it because of the protests and riots and because of all the media coverage and those few bad apple cops and, I guess the system, that you're seeing that's making you nervous?"
"No, it's not that."
"Then what is it?"
"You're not going to let this go are you?" you asked.
"I will stay in this canoe in the middle of the lake until you tell me what is going on, Y/N Halstead."
"You wouldn't."
Jay shrugged with the arm that wasn't currently in a sling. "Try me."
You sighed. "Just don't be mad that I didn't tell you sooner, okay?"
"I won't. You have my word on that."
"So, a little over a month ago I was driving home from the library..."
***
When you finished, you were in tears. "Did you get a last name? Badge number?" Jay asked as he rubbed circles on your back with his good hand.
You sniffled. "N- No. I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all."
"If I wouldn't have said- said your name...He had his hand on my door handle! And he was so much bigger than me. I'm sorry!"
You turned and buried your face in his chest. "Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry for."
"I should've told you right away, though! But you just had that really rough case and I didn't want to put too much on your shoulders and--"
"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath. You need to breathe. This was not your fault. None of it was."
You calmed your breathing and just sat there, silent tears streaming down your face.
"That's why I wanted to go to the protests," you said after a few minutes. "Because I've actually had a bad experience with a cop."
"Which should've never happened in the first place."
"I was so scared," you whispered.
Jay just hugged you tighter as he thought about how strong his little sister was. You had given blood to save his life even though you knew you'd feel terrible after and you hadn't told him about this horrible cop--which he would kick this cop's ass the minute the got back to Chicago--because you didn't want him to have too much on his plate after that terrible case where he put an innocent man in jail and got him killed...which was the main reason he had been shot.
"When we get back to the cabin, I'll try and call Voight. I don't know if I'll have service, though."
"Why?" you asked.
"I'm gonna have him look up who was on their beat near you that night so he can go interrogate people on my behalf. Probably best he does it and not me." Because Jay knew that the minute he saw that cop, he wouldn't be able to hold himself back.
You nodded.
"Hey, cheer up, kid. We're here for two weeks, away from everything. Away from the city and everything that goes on there. And I can promise you that that cop will get what's coming to him, whether that be losing his job or going to jail or prison."
"Do I have to tell Will? Or can you tell him? I really don't want to talk about this again."
"I can do it," Jay answered. "Speaking of Will, if he's not up when we get back, what do we say we wake him up with some cold lake water?"
"Like dump it on him?" you asked as you widened your eyes. Jay nodded. "No, that's mean. Then he'll have to wait for his sheets to dry out and they'll smell the entire time."
"We have spare sheets and blankets in the closet."
"Fine, let's do it. But just so you know, I'm telling him that it was your idea and I also have a lock on my bedroom door here, which will make it harder for him to sneak in and dump water on me."
"I will be sleeping in your room tonight," Jay joked.
"Nope. It was your idea, so you're gonna have to live with Will's payback."
Those two weeks were filled with laughter, pranks, board games, corn hole, swimming, fishing (well, you read either in the canoe or on the dock while the boys fished), and just spending time with each other. You were glad that Will had the bright idea to take two weeks up here...even though he got drenched in cold lake water the first morning by you and Jay.
A/N: I got a request from @ La_lectrice_33 on wattpad for Y/N going to the dentist, so I hope you liked that little scene! I also got a request from an anon on here about Jay and Will's reactions to her growing up, so I put that in here, too. Thank you for over 23k reads! I won't be posting until this Sunday (August 1) when I start posting AUs for AU-gust. Please remember to like/reblog and comment because I love seeing those like/reblog notifications pop up and love reading your comments and asks! As always, if you would like to be added to my tag list, just tell me and I’ll add you! Finally, like my imagines? Buy me a coffee (only $1 through Paypal and other currencies can be used) here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Kayela