Don't discriminate between the sinners and the saints
pairing: Philip Hamilton x Burr!reader
summary: Not every love story ends with a happily ever after.
a/n: my fav song titled!!! this can be read as a 2nd part to Blow us all away, also as a standalone. sorry not sorry for the heartbreak.
The willow tree became your favorite spot. Every night, for the past half year, you and Philip would meet there at midnight. There was so much risk sneaking out of the house without alarming your father. But these rendezvouses were worth it.
You wait impatiently all day, daydreaming about Philip, his company, touches and kisses. Your father has noticed your airy personality over the days.
He sees you joining breakfast with a skip in your step and decides to ask, "You alright, my dove? I see you are more than content these past few days. Is there something I should know about? Or rather someone? " You take the glass to your mouth to hide your small smile. "I don't know what your talking about." Your father smiles. " You know when I started courting you mother I was as starry eyed as you are now." "Dad! I'm not starry eyed at all!" "Uh huh, sure." Your father laughs heartily. "Alright, alright. There is someone I've met. And he's a gentleman. Not like those other obnoxious men. I'll tell you who he is when it's the right time." You finish with a blush on your face.
Your father's eyes twinkles. " Okay. As long as he makes my daughter happy." He reaches out to squeeze your cheeks. You smile.
That night as you were waiting under the willow tree, tightening your cloak around you as you felt a chill breeze past you from the lake. Suddenly you felt two hands closing your eyes from behind. You almost yelped as Philip breathes near your ear, "Guess who?"
You take his hands away from your eyes, turning around to face him as you lower the hood of your cloak. "Philip! You scared me!"
Philip chuckles. "Sorry my love, couldn't pass the opportunity."
You roll your eyes with a smile. Standing on your tiptoes, you press your lips to him. Philip returns your kiss just as eagerly.
You pull apart and look up at him. "I have something to tell you." Philip chuckles lightly. "I have something to tell you as well. But you go ahead first." You narrow your eyes slightly then start. "My father suspects I'm seeing someone. He asked me about it today. I told him I'd introduce you when the time comes. He said as long as I'm happy he doesn't mind." Philip smiles and takes your face in his hand. He looks in your and whispers, "And do I make you happy, my love?" "Yes" you breathe out, "More than I've ever been." "I'm glad." He presses a kiss to your forehead. You sigh contently. Then you remember. "Wasn't there something you wanted to tell me as well?" You can see Philip hesitate but he starts. "I asked George Eacker to a duel tomorrow at dawn."
You cannot believe your ears. Philip looked down at his shoes unable to meet your burning gaze. "Philip, tell me you are lying! Why would you do that!"
"You know he disgraced my father's name on the 4th of July. And he doesn't like me for ruining his chances with you last winter ball."
"Philip, he never had a chance with me anyway. This is not a reason to risk your life!"
"I know but I must guard your and my father's honor."
You embrace him in a tight hug, resting your head on his chest. "I cannot lose you." You say with feeling a stone in your throat.
Philip rests his chin on top your head and hugs you back. "You won't. I'll come back to you, I promise. And when I do, we can tell our families about us."
You smile through your teary eyes. "I love you." "I love you more, my love."
"A Hamilton? It was a Hamilton you decided to court? Were you out of your mind?"
Today was Philip's funeral. He didn't come back from the duel. You heard the news when he was already gone. You haven't been yourself after that. Crying your heart out, locked in your room. Today dressed in black, you finally came out. You finally told your father about Philip. And he was losing his mind.
"No! I was in love!"
"You couldn't have found anyone else in this city? You had to fall in love with Hamilton's son?" your father yells.
"Yes! I don't care about your political fued-" you try to say through your tears. "How could you betray me like this?" Your father looks at you with wide eyes, waiting for your answer. "Forgive me, but I remember it was you who taught me about love! It was you who told me that love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints! Then why now?"
He looks at you baffled. You don't wait for an answer. You're getting late to see your love one last time.
The funeral was nice. You sat at the end and saw it all. Saw the Hamiltons at the front, Eliza sobbing relentlessly, Alexander stone-faced, your love resting in an open casket. You even saw the burial from afar. Most people have left after sharing their condolences after the burial. That's when you finally approach the headstone.
Philip Hamilton 1782-1801 loved son, brother, grandson and nephew
Your heart breaks as you let out a sob. Nowhere it says lover. Why would it, you were never given the chance to announce it.
Eliza seems to have seen you, you can see her coming near through your tears. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Hamilton. I'm so so sorry." You sob as Eliza takes your face in her hands. "Your the girl Philip used to write poems about, aren't you?" You look at her face to see she's smiling sadly. You can't help but break down on her.
Later that day, you found your father waiting at home for you. He sees your state and immediately opens his arms to embrace you.
"I'm sorry for your loss, my dove. And I'm also sorry for how I reacted this morning. I just didn't think if he is capable of protecting my daughter." "He said, he was dueling Eacker for guarding my honor." You say muffled in his embrace. "Seems like I've judged the young man too early." You look up at him. He truly seems to be sad. You tell him about a decision you made.
"Dad can I ask you for something?" "Anything my dove." "Can you send me to France? I can't stay here dad." Your father looks at you to see if you are serious. You are so he nods after thinking a while.
Aaron Burr is standing under a willow tree, looking at the lake beside it. He can still hear them all in his head.
I'm sorry for your loss. Your daughter was a wonderful woman. I can imagine how hard it must be for you.
Liars. They can never imagine how it felt losing the only anchor in your life to a shipwreck. Not only that but never even getting to bury her because her body has been lost at sea forever. He looks at the sky and imagines he's talking to his daughter.
"I've learnt something new, my dove. Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. And this time, it was you who taught me that."
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