#hangernhigh

[bringmoreknives]

thank u..... just in case u weren’t gonna forgive me tho i also made this meme

[demolover]

ive seen ur posts mentioning u have thoughts on queer perspective towards death and how mcr fit into it so. if u ever decide to share other ideas on the topic id love to read it! (i think ur really good at getting your thoughts accross) (u dont have to answer btw i just wasnt sure abt shooting a dm abt this)

it’s been so long i’m so sorry um i have a lot of thoughts idk if u still want them here’s an attempt at a short version... 

edit: changing this to under a cut cuz it’s insanely long. if u don’t feel like reading almost 1.5k words probably don’t read it.

basically i think that mortality and death are very common things for all humans to think about and make art about because we’re kinda... obsessed with and extremely afraid of death. which (i think) stems from how death is one of the few things we know is going to happen to us, and yet we can’t understand it really. we know it is the end but we cannot know anything about it because it is the end. so that intrigues us (and makes us afraid) and then u can add in how we see other people in our life die before we do... basically it all adds up to us being obsessed with understanding and defying our own mortality somehow.

we can see this theme in mcr a lot, the interplay between mortality and defiance and hope... i call it hope vs inevitability and i think it’s especially noticeable in bullets and danger days, because in the other two they’re not really fighting so much as existing side by side... i wrote in notes once that in those albums, the hope is in the inevitable...

in black parade it’s pretty much totally like this; after you die you join the black parade, and your memory will carry on. there is fear going into it, but it very much feels like an album accepting and even embracing the end, not fighting it. accepting it and embracing it with this crazy tone... come one come all to this tragic affair. wipe off that makeup, what’s in is despair... (note: i used to think that line was what sin is despair and i still wonder if that was on purpose). revenge is a bit more complex but i have always thought that beyond the hope of getting the girl back, of bringing her back to life (against the end, against death and mortality) there must also be some relief in death for the guy demo lover... if you would kill a thousand men to get your lover back from the dead, would you die to meet them there? <- maybe i’m wrong; there is still hope vs inevitability here.

in danger days and bullets, though, is where i feel like we see those things ultimately fight; in bullets we have this desperate desire to be immortal and mean something, coupled with the strong feeling that you will die with nothing. that you will die. (i have a post on this theme in the song demolition lovers). then, in danger days we see this theme come with this absolute denial of mortality (killjoys never die) coupled with this intense fear of death and being remembered wrong or not at all. and of course this culminates in them dying. (here is my post on this theme in danger days it’s kinda a mess but so is this post so whatever).

right so we’ve established mcr (and humanity in general) is obsessed with mortality we already knew that though. what does it have to do with queerness.

basically there’s a couple things.

1. the connection of both otherness and love with death (note: this also applies to a lot of minorities but queerness is what’s really applicable to mcr specifically). the extent to which mcr intertwines narratives of love and otherness with death and violence is.... a lot. we see it in every album, i believe; it’s most noticeable in bullets in drowning lessons and demo lovers, in revenge in so many songs i’m not going to try to list them, in black parade in cancer, wttbp and my way home is through you, and in danger days in save yourself, only hope for me, and scarecrow. this was just off the top of my head; there’s probably more songs with examples of this.

this is very queer (at least when done by mcr; as most of mcr is white the issues that come with things like the history of interracial marriage, etc. don’t really apply) because of how for queer people our identities and love can be deadly to us... the history of queer love and identity is obviously marked with violence against the people displaying that love and identity.

straight cis white guys don’t usually talk about death with the connection with love at the forefront, at least not that i’ve seen. every once in awhile they do, i guess, if they’re talking about grief, but otherwise, no. demo lovers is my favorite example of the connection of love with death; especially in the first couple verses, the two seem so linked. the first 2 mentions of death or the end in the song are immediately followed by “with you”... “i’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets,” and “i would drive on to the end with you.”

in the whole demo lovers arc, through bullets and revenge, the themes of death and love are so intertwined it’s impossible to untangle them. if i tried to make a post of all the times in revenge death and love are talked about in the same lyric, as if one thing, i would be screenshotting lyrics all night. of course, if we bring in gwgt theory, and start thinking about how the girl and guy demo lovers are a metaphor for gerard’s relationship with his gender, we can go way further with this too. the simultaneous love story involving these parts of himself, and intertwined violence and death. the fear present... the lyrics that talk at the same time about hurting yourself and being hurt by others... but that’s a different post, really. i’m gonna try to stay more surface level. no speculating on metaphors (today).

in black parade i think we see the connection of otherness with death a lot more than the connection with love, although they’re both still present... in danger days the concept of otherness when associated with death is super clear: killjoys defy the city and become something “other,” which is scorned and hated by BLI/nd, and they get killed for it. love is also a pretty common theme in danger days songs, often intertwined with death, though less obviously than in revenge.

2. just... the extent to which this idea of mortality and death and immortality and memory is talked about is interesting in itself i think. this obsession with our legacy and our mortality is present in a lot of stuff, not just queer stuff, but it’s just everywhere in mcr’s discography (and a lot of the subsequent groups of music related to/associated with mcr, which are also often known for being queer). they constantly talk about how they’ll die, and how they’ll die sooner rather than later, and can they live forever anyway, what does immortality mean after all, will they be remembered, what will their legacy be... etc.

memory and legacy is something i haven’t really talked about, but i think it’s also essential to the conversation. for obvious reasons queer people (and people of a lot of other minorities but i’m only talking about the queer part cuz it’s the most/the only applicable thing here) have a more complicated relationship with how we’ll be remembered and whether we’ll be remembered than cishet people do. how mcr talks about this reminds me a lot of the sappho fragment tumblr passes around ever so often... “someone will remember us / i say / even in another time.” (comparison/parallels post of mcr lyrics and that quote by @milfygerard (and added onto by me) here.)

and that brings us back around to the theme of hope vs inevitability... as i mentioned earlier, this theme isn’t necessarily totally queer on it’s own, but as with talking about memory and legacy the way mcr does, if you talk about it so much that it becomes a core theme in all of your albums it ends up feeling a lot more queer than before. hope vs inevitability in mcr’s work connects to love and death and both at once and is just everywhere. and it ends up connecting to the way a lot of queer people think about our death and our mortality and our hope. and how the future and the past are thought about in connection to these themes i think is kind of queer too — when your history is barely spoken and your present is in hiding, of course you look to the future. despite that that means looking towards the ending. and maybe you embrace that ending, because what else is there to do?

i’m very sorry. this was not short. if you have questions, or want to tell me how i’m wrong, or have your own thoughts, do not be afraid to dm me or send me asks please... fascinating topic.

[sendmyresignation]

hiii sophia! ✒️ hope im not too late (;

hi nastia <3 you are not too late!!

[milfygerard]

💚💜 !

💚- cool mutual

💜- funny mutual

wild to know people think im cool

[bringmoreknives]

hi vyn!!! passion fruit and pomegranate for the ask thing if u still want to do this (:

thank u honey <3333

passion fruit: how would you describe your style?

i think very simple overall with certain flair pieces. i tend to wear pretty neutral stuff i wish i dressed more adventurously, i’m gonna try branching out a little when it’s time to order new clothes!!

pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident?

the single time i did emo karaoke and got to perform on stage in front of people was like. exhilarating. other than that though probably just when i’m like singing and dancing alone in my room !!!

[sendmyresignation]

hi sophia! (; 74 - 80 for the ask thing

hi nastia!! hope this isn’t too late skjafjh i just woke up lol

74: Honey This Mirror music video OR Vampires music video

this one’s tough but I have to say honey just for long-haired bullets gerard being unnecessarily into his performance. also the motorhead t-shirt makes an appearance.

75: Helena music video OR I’m Not Okay music video

probably helena, i think its much more aesthetically cohesive to the point that the outfits they wore transitioned into their stage costumes. also ray toro camera angles. also gerard’s emotive face- how vulernable he is can bring me to tears if i’m not careful. this video never fails to not give me chills- it FORCES me to pay attention. i am always emotionally held hostage by this one.

76: The Ghost of You music video OR I Don’t Love You music video

this is easy- ghost of you is a full cinematic experience, complete with the peak of emotional drama. like that beach transition makes it unbeatable. i do want to defend i don’t love you’s music video, i don’t think its bad when the consensus seems to be that it sucks but it simply cannot compare to what is essentially a condensed war movie. that ending shot- whew.

77: Welcome to the Black Parade music video OR Famous Last Words

i feel like my opinion of which of these i prefer flip flops constantly. they just have completely different emotional outputs. but, at this moment in time, i think i prefer the black parade music video- its just so sprawling and massive and awe-inspiring. the whole opening segment, especially with the HANDS gets to me. mother war herself deserves a mention. and gerard really puts on a performance here. like don’t get me wrong, i l absolutely love famous last word’s but i think sometimes the vastness of the black parade in concept juxtaposed with the insignificance of one lonely man makes this feeling of bittersweet sorrow to expand in my chest into aching

78: Teenagers music video OR Blood music video

teenagers! if only for ray’s kick ass solo and gerard’s full breakdown freak out moment. its a really fun video that SCREAMS “they’re looking for a rockstar to kill”- like the ending does drive me a teensy bit crazy :)

79: Na Na Na music video OR SING music video

na na na because i think its more grounded in the world- its where we get most of the visual details about the killjoy universe and there is so much art and iconography littered through the video. and while sing is really good, they’re all pretty good actors and pull it off very well. i just think na na na has more to chew on and looks like it was fun to put together.

80: Planetary (GO!) music video OR The Kids From Yesterday music video

oohh kids from yesterday for sure- especially because i believe? its a fan video. which is. so cool. but its a proper fitting end to my chem (at least the ending of then), just a beautiful encapsulation of who they had been 

anyway, thank u so much!! this was fun <3

[bringmoreknives]

@hangernhigh replied to your post “icon change….. !”

i love it! special miss...

thank u nastia!!! < 3 sure is..... ethereal... not of this world

[demolover]

are u working on any projects rn?

not any big ones really though i do have a few thoughts... i am taking an online watercolor class rn so i’m gonna be doing a project for that which is cool! i haven’t had ideas for it though which is... less cool. working on that haha. um otherwise... i’m pretty at a loss for ideas art-wise rn but i think some of my writing inspiration has been coming back and i’m in the beginning processes of figuring out some things i might be doing with that! i’m pretty in-between rn though... it’s also tough cuz i can’t do in-person stuff w the people i’d usually work with on these things :/ so it goes.