i find it really interesting that so many of you have really fleshed out ideas for the aesthetic and backstory of demolition lovers (the song)... i have been thinking about this a lot because i’ve been seeing a bunch of posts that are explaining how they see the backstory/aesthetic for the song and why, and i find it super interesting every time i see them, because i think about it in a totally different way and it’s cool to see another concept of the same story.
i think for me part of the sadness and pain of the story told in the song is that we don’t know anything about the rest of their lives, and it’s never alluded to. it feels like they don’t have a past. but you know they do, because everyone does. but it’s saying that in their story, the past doesn’t matter. all the things that happened before aren’t remembered. the story is reduced to the end, and the death... the only things we know are in that story are that they are in a car and they are together and they are driving to the end. that’s it! and you know there are things before, but they are just darkness, as if all there has ever been is two lovers on a highway driving to the end. and you know the future is dark too.... you know it is the end. the death of this story.... so much of bullets to me is that shout to be seen.... the cry for someone to understand you and make some kind of connection.... the desperate, desperate want to be known in some way.
and demolition lovers takes that and makes this terrible scenario, this fear, where you are known, but not for anything but the last horrible moments...... “all we are is bullets, i mean this.” it says what if your shout goes too far? what if you are known, but not for anything you wanted to be? not for anything you are? what if all you are after all is just a body, and that’s all that matters? it takes that theme and turns it a bit... and that’s the sadness of it, because as far as we know, all there ever was was 2 people on a highway, driving to the end... forever and forever and forever....
i think about all the lines about “meaning” things — “how much you mean,” “i mean it,” “how much we mean,” “i mean this,” “i mean this forever”.........
to me bullets is all about trying to mean something to someone, trying to make your life have any meaning..... it’s so desperate for it. “we’ll show them all how much we mean,” in a song about people who are going to their deaths.... it plays on the fear that what if, no matter what you do in your life, it doesn’t mean anything... it’s all about how it ends.... you show them how much you mean in how you end it..........
the mortality so present in mcr’s work has always interested me....... the fight between the inevitable (death) and the hope that’s always fighting it....... if we must die maybe we can be perfect first; maybe we can die perfect; maybe we can be beautiful; maybe we cannot die. death always feels there, whether just on the horizon or right in your face... but strange, whether because it’s personified (the black parade) or seen as in some way “temporary” (revenge) or inevitable to the point where it’s laughable (danger days.) this makes a lot of sense i think with humans’ own perception of death (always aware of it, never truly understanding it) but it also dodges a lot of things..... despite all of the death in mcr’s works, bullets feels like the album that talks about death, and ending, and the fear of the dark that comes after in the most obviously human, obviously real way... there’s no fantasy. there’s no laughability.... there is just 2 people and the inevitable end and the forever of darkness that comes after.
i have always said that bullets feels like a cry for any kind of connection..... and demolition lovers comes from the fear of dying without that connection made, without meaning anything, something that i think played a lot into the “inevitability” theme in bullets. by revenge they were starting to make it, they were noticed, they were on a label, but bullets, and mcr at the time, seemed doomed to fail. demolition lovers speaks to the fear of ending without anyone remembering who you were or what you did or anything about you..... just another body lying in a pool of blood on the side of the road.
how do i define feminine energy without basing it off the male gaze? who am i if not viewed through the narrow looking glass of every man who has ever and who has not ever perceived me. there is someone in my room watching me at all times and i make myself pretty for them. but if they left me alone what is left to know? my energy is feminine it is love and bitterness and orange juice with the pulp. my energy is water spilling over the edge of your glass but it was room temperature anyway. it is narcissistic and hollow at times and full to bursting at others. there is a self awareness in the sway of my hips and there is a landmind in my chest waiting to detonate and i hope it does. i hope you burn when you touch me. you don’t get to have me. i don’t even think i do
both versions of house of wolves r actually necessary for the black parade because they r directly opposing views with the same themes so it’s like an angel/devil on the shoulder scenario except the angel/devil are actually whether to accept ur sin and make fun of it all or 2 go back to the begging for forgiveness from god that u grew up on but also it’s about death and you die and go 2 hell either way but also the devil is twin wolves and the part that says 2 “pray for my soul” is just as much the devil as the part that says “s-i-n” and “i’ll be granting your permission cuz i haven’t got a prayer” because whether u go laughing or praying u can’t stop the bleeding and u know that
what would my chemical romance be without the black parade. what would they mean. the black parade is not only the best album but it is also essential to the narrative of my chemical romance which is as much a part of my chemical romance as what you think about the music and it is the MOST essential album for the story and narrative like my chemical romance would be nothing. it would not be my chemical romance if it wasnt for the black parade the black parade was the glorious high point of a story like do you know how a story works. like the fucking shape of it or whatever the black parade was the PEAK of the story and if it wasnt what it was or wasnt there or wasnt as big and dramatic and over the top the story of my chemical romance would fall flat and they would no longer be my chemical romance like it’s the tale the story the beginning the rise the glorious peak and the fallout and the end and the end like i’m not sure you understand the black parade. is the black parade and it is like. it is i am a believer in stories and more importantly so is gerard and my chemical romance is a story it is several stories and albums but it is also a singular story like. my chemical romance is an idea and the black parade is the glorious height of the idea and it is so perfect narratively. my chemical romance is literally an idea and a story and a fairytale and its a story about mortality but also about immortality. and that is why the black parade is its heart. it’s exactly what it had to be and it’s immortal and mortal and incredible and insane and it’s a band onstage as another band that doesn’t really exist and its killing off that band and knowing that it will only make the idea live forever and its about. being human and being a story and feeling like u are everything and nothing and living and dying and living forever despite and because of dying and that is. my chemical romance. ok
anyway. mortality <3 i love looking at mortality in mcr’s stuff i think it’s so interesting to see how the perspective on it changes throughout their music.... like obviously bullets demonstrates a fear of our mortality while also. obsessing over it. i mean that kind of continues <3 <3 but like. by black parade the view of it seems so different it’s interesting... like the kind of fear of mortality has changed by then i think...
i mean. that makes sense. when gerard was writing the lyrics for bullets there’s the fear not only of death but of like. not being seen or noticed which is a different kind of mortality. like mortality and immortality. obviously we know our lives r mortal but in bullets it’s like. our lives and our ideas and everything about us is going to die and no ones gonna see them. we r going to be nothing when we inevitably die. um this is very clear to me in a lot of bullets songs but especially demo lovers as i’ve talked about before. r u going to mean anything? r u going to mean anything? like will u reach anything at all however hard u try? cuz u will die anyway and if u don’t make a difference first and get remembered u will be mortal in every way and u will fade in every way forever.
but they’re gonna show u! they’re gonna show u just how much they mean... driving on to that inevitable end. lots of fear there of not making that difference that i think gerard always was slightly obsessed with making. they want a rockstar they can kill. ok. separate that into the two parts (rockstar) (kill). rockstar <- someone remembered. someone who makes some sort of difference. someone whose work is kept and memorized and obsessed over. kill <- and we die. but it doesn’t matter it’s ok it’s even good if they die as long as they’ve done those things first. as long as they’ve been memorized and obsessed over and remembered. immortality doesn’t mean never dying! it doesn’t have to! u can kill a rockstar but they will never die so that’s ok! kill me if u want!
but by black parade they know their ideas r seen... they r big at that point and only getting bigger and in a way they r much less mortal than they were before so the fear of that legacy being left behind that u can’t change is totally different... like instead of there being no legacy or rememberance at all it’s like. what if it’s wrong. how do we make it right. how do we make us immortal in the right way.
and obviously it’s an album about dying and being like. a mortal person but i feel like it’s also kind of like. coming to terms with that kind of fear that comes with the spotlight that was on them at that point and the lack of mortality and the weird different kind of mortality that comes with... especially for someone like gerard who seems kind of obsessed in a way with his public persona and how he and his work is viewed. um. like they’ve made it u know they r going to be remembered. they have made their difference or whatever so a lot of the fears in bullets r not really applicable anymore.
but there is still a lot of fear in black parade of like. they know even if they die they will carry on. they r the saviors of the broken the beaten and the damned. or whatever. u know. they have done it so the fears become like. what if it’s wrong what if it’s incorrect. the idea of control how much can u control ur legacy the way u r perceived and remembered after u r gone. how will u carry on. r u afraid to keep on living the way u r. or any way. r u afraid of dying. what if it turns. what if it’s different than it has to be. what if it’s not the way it was yesterday before. ur memory will carry on. ok. ok. but is it the right memory??
so the fight and the fear with mortality is not so much against being nothing it’s against being wrong somehow. we DON’T want to be a rockstar u can kill. or do we. or don’t we. what is the fear of being mortal now. what is the fear of being immortal now. what has it become. how do we disappear... <3 turn away! don’t look at me like this cuz it’s wrong cuz it’s sick and wrong and incorrect but i’m singing about it <3 look <3. maybe we do want to be let go of forever. maybe we do want to be forgotten but maybe we don’t. maybe we r afraid of keeping going because what if things go wrong. but if we end now and u all look away it’ll be fine but what if it goes wrong. the reminders... the speaking to the audience... whenever we die look back here. when we go don’t blame us we’ll let the fires just bathe us you made us oh so famous... well we all go to hell after all don’t blame us!
mama how we disappear cancer and famous last words i think r the songs that showcase this the best but it’s there in so many of the black parade songs if u look like. at all. the contradictions... the fear masked... the uncertainty... the going back on everything u say... the desperate attempts at control... the very constant presence of death but also the vagueness of it... the everything. obsessed. i adore black parade so much the metaphor of the sick dude that its all masked in is perfect. iconic may i say
ive seen ur posts mentioning u have thoughts on queer perspective towards death and how mcr fit into it so. if u ever decide to share other ideas on the topic id love to read it! (i think ur really good at getting your thoughts accross) (u dont have to answer btw i just wasnt sure abt shooting a dm abt this)
it’s been so long i’m so sorry um i have a lot of thoughts idk if u still want them here’s an attempt at a short version...
edit: changing this to under a cut cuz it’s insanely long. if u don’t feel like reading almost 1.5k words probably don’t read it.
basically i think that mortality and death are very common things for all humans to think about and make art about because we’re kinda... obsessed with and extremely afraid of death. which (i think) stems from how death is one of the few things we know is going to happen to us, and yet we can’t understand it really. we know it is the end but we cannot know anything about it because it is the end. so that intrigues us (and makes us afraid) and then u can add in how we see other people in our life die before we do... basically it all adds up to us being obsessed with understanding and defying our own mortality somehow.
we can see this theme in mcr a lot, the interplay between mortality and defiance and hope... i call it hope vs inevitability and i think it’s especially noticeable in bullets and danger days, because in the other two they’re not really fighting so much as existing side by side... i wrote in notes once that in those albums, the hope is in the inevitable...
in black parade it’s pretty much totally like this; after you die you join the black parade, and your memory will carry on. there is fear going into it, but it very much feels like an album accepting and even embracing the end, not fighting it. accepting it and embracing it with this crazy tone... come one come all to this tragic affair. wipe off that makeup, what’s in is despair... (note: i used to think that line was what sin is despair and i still wonder if that was on purpose). revenge is a bit more complex but i have always thought that beyond the hope of getting the girl back, of bringing her back to life (against the end, against death and mortality) there must also be some relief in death for the guy demo lover... if you would kill a thousand men to get your lover back from the dead, would you die to meet them there? <- maybe i’m wrong; there is still hope vs inevitability here.
in danger days and bullets, though, is where i feel like we see those things ultimately fight; in bullets we have this desperate desire to be immortal and mean something, coupled with the strong feeling that you will die with nothing. that you will die. (i have a post on this theme in the song demolition lovers). then, in danger days we see this theme come with this absolute denial of mortality (killjoys never die) coupled with this intense fear of death and being remembered wrong or not at all. and of course this culminates in them dying. (here is my post on this theme in danger days it’s kinda a mess but so is this post so whatever).
right so we’ve established mcr (and humanity in general) is obsessed with mortality we already knew that though. what does it have to do with queerness.
basically there’s a couple things.
1. the connection of both otherness and love with death (note: this also applies to a lot of minorities but queerness is what’s really applicable to mcr specifically). the extent to which mcr intertwines narratives of love and otherness with death and violence is.... a lot. we see it in every album, i believe; it’s most noticeable in bullets in drowning lessons and demo lovers, in revenge in so many songs i’m not going to try to list them, in black parade in cancer, wttbp and my way home is through you, and in danger days in save yourself, only hope for me, and scarecrow. this was just off the top of my head; there’s probably more songs with examples of this.
this is very queer (at least when done by mcr; as most of mcr is white the issues that come with things like the history of interracial marriage, etc. don’t really apply) because of how for queer people our identities and love can be deadly to us... the history of queer love and identity is obviously marked with violence against the people displaying that love and identity.
straight cis white guys don’t usually talk about death with the connection with love at the forefront, at least not that i’ve seen. every once in awhile they do, i guess, if they’re talking about grief, but otherwise, no. demo lovers is my favorite example of the connection of love with death; especially in the first couple verses, the two seem so linked. the first 2 mentions of death or the end in the song are immediately followed by “with you”... “i’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets,” and “i would drive on to the end with you.”
in the whole demo lovers arc, through bullets and revenge, the themes of death and love are so intertwined it’s impossible to untangle them. if i tried to make a post of all the times in revenge death and love are talked about in the same lyric, as if one thing, i would be screenshotting lyrics all night. of course, if we bring in gwgt theory, and start thinking about how the girl and guy demo lovers are a metaphor for gerard’s relationship with his gender, we can go way further with this too. the simultaneous love story involving these parts of himself, and intertwined violence and death. the fear present... the lyrics that talk at the same time about hurting yourself and being hurt by others... but that’s a different post, really. i’m gonna try to stay more surface level. no speculating on metaphors (today).
in black parade i think we see the connection of otherness with death a lot more than the connection with love, although they’re both still present... in danger days the concept of otherness when associated with death is super clear: killjoys defy the city and become something “other,” which is scorned and hated by BLI/nd, and they get killed for it. love is also a pretty common theme in danger days songs, often intertwined with death, though less obviously than in revenge.
2. just... the extent to which this idea of mortality and death and immortality and memory is talked about is interesting in itself i think. this obsession with our legacy and our mortality is present in a lot of stuff, not just queer stuff, but it’s just everywhere in mcr’s discography (and a lot of the subsequent groups of music related to/associated with mcr, which are also often known for being queer). they constantly talk about how they’ll die, and how they’ll die sooner rather than later, and can they live forever anyway, what does immortality mean after all, will they be remembered, what will their legacy be... etc.
memory and legacy is something i haven’t really talked about, but i think it’s also essential to the conversation. for obvious reasons queer people (and people of a lot of other minorities but i’m only talking about the queer part cuz it’s the most/the only applicable thing here) have a more complicated relationship with how we’ll be remembered and whether we’ll be remembered than cishet people do. how mcr talks about this reminds me a lot of the sappho fragment tumblr passes around ever so often... “someone will remember us / i say / even in another time.” (comparison/parallels post of mcr lyrics and that quote by @milfygerard (and added onto by me) here.)
and that brings us back around to the theme of hope vs inevitability... as i mentioned earlier, this theme isn’t necessarily totally queer on it’s own, but as with talking about memory and legacy the way mcr does, if you talk about it so much that it becomes a core theme in all of your albums it ends up feeling a lot more queer than before. hope vs inevitability in mcr’s work connects to love and death and both at once and is just everywhere. and it ends up connecting to the way a lot of queer people think about our death and our mortality and our hope. and how the future and the past are thought about in connection to these themes i think is kind of queer too — when your history is barely spoken and your present is in hiding, of course you look to the future. despite that that means looking towards the ending. and maybe you embrace that ending, because what else is there to do?
i’m very sorry. this was not short. if you have questions, or want to tell me how i’m wrong, or have your own thoughts, do not be afraid to dm me or send me asks please... fascinating topic.
thinking about > beginnings. endings. the inherent desperation that comes with those things. the inherent hope. the inherent feeling of inevitability. the necessary clash between those things. > bullets. danger days.
